Canon
by SideKick55
Summary: The problem with living forever is...your secrets do too. This is probably the most peripheral Twilight fanfic ever. Give it a try, you might like it anyhow. Yes, the Cullens are in it.
1. Chapter 1

**a/n : Just a thing I had bouncing around in my head for too long. It wanted out.**

**Thanks go out to my beta, Rainly. She did more work than me as usual. If it wasn't for her, this would be mush.**

**Additional thanks to Project Team Beta for my second draft betaing. Thanks guys. You rock.

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Ethan Powell

January 7, 2149

Everyone saw the divorce coming. Even me. I knew since I was eight and a half that my mom and dad weren't meant to be. But they stayed together for so long anyway, and I counted the days until they would come to their senses and call the whole thing off. I just hoped it would be after I finished high school.

Hah.

Instead – of course – it had to be in the middle of my junior year.

"Ethan, I truly am sorry that it had to happen this way. I had no idea…" Mom said as she packed. Her short black hair, usually a perfect bob to frame her face, was tangled and wild. Her eyes were bloodshot and she kept rubbing at them between sentences. I imagine she didn't sleep much that night, after the longest shouting match they had ever had. "Your father and I…" She couldn't finish. Her eyes began to brim and she turned back to the suitcase on her bed, trying to keep the grief from me.

"I know," I replied. "I just don't see why I have to leave."

Her pleading eyes turned back to me again. "I know it's awful to ask you to change schools right now. Just awful. But you're not old enough to be out on your own. And I don't know if I could stand to leave you here with your father." The words were growing more and more sour every time she said them – _your father_ – like it was an insult.

I sighed and turned back for my room. "It's not fair," I mumbled. "It's the twenty-second century for crying out loud. I'm a lot older than some out there, living on their own. Besides, I don't see what's wrong with staying here with Dad."

I watched a flash of pain cross her eyes. "We're leaving in a couple hours. Get your things together."

I didn't hurry. I knew she wanted to be out the door before he came home again from work, but I wasn't in the mood to help her avoid that awkward confrontation. Instead, I daydreamed about where we might go, what good might come out of this. She hadn't said where we were headed, just that we were leaving. And maybe, just maybe, it would be a good change.

Small towns suck. Years pass, everything changes and they just stay the same. So perhaps this would allow me to actually see something of the world, to get a broader view of what was out there for me. I kind of liked that idea. It was the only good thing I could think might come from the whole mess. Leaving behind my friends and school and limited future here was a sad thing, to be sure, but wherever I ended up…it was bound to make me a better man.

Right?

_At least I'll have to get new clothes_, I thought as I stuffed my shirts into a duffle bag. Wherever we were going, Walmart was certainly not good fashion sense.

"Jules Appleby calling," a quiet voice announced from the tiny phone clipped to my ear.

I hit the button on the side. "What do you want, Jules?"

"I heard about your mom and dad," she replied.

I threw a handful of socks into a duffle bag. "Who told you?"

"Does it matter? Everyone's heard by now."

I groaned.

"So, where are you headed?" she asked.

"I don't know, honestly." I started tossing random junk into a big drawstring bag. Pens, loose change from my dresser, a couple of rocks I liked that I had collected from the shore, a picture frame with Jules, Justin and me.

"Maybe you'll go someplace warm and fancy. California? You could become a famous actor and I'll say I knew you way back when. You could visit up here like everyone else does. Summer at the lake and all that. We'll make jokes at your expense all the time."

"I could go green," I said, nodding. California wouldn't be so bad.

"But hamburgers, Ethan. You'd miss hamburgers."

I tossed dimes into the bag, one at a time. They plinked against something at the bottom. "I'm gonna miss everything else anyway. Why not go for broke?"

"I guess so." She chuckled, soft and sad. "New York would be cool. You could take up racing."

"It's hard to imagine my mother living so close to so many buildings and cars."

"Well," she said. "Anything is better than Polson."

"You've got a point," I replied. Because that was the one thing I was holding on to. It would have to be better anywhere else. Anywhere.

***

At four-thirty my mom was rushing to get every last bit of our luggage into her giant car. The thing was an ancient light blue sedan, and she rarely used it. I think it belonged to her grandmother and still ran half on actual gasoline. As I stood on the porch I shook my head in disgust. If we were taking the car, we couldn't be going too far away. I could hear all my golden dreams of year-round sunshine and beautiful girls on the beach washing away with the sound of the upturned canister being emptied into the car's tank.

Jules had come over to see us off. She came up behind me, carrying the last bag from my room. I looked over at her and she gave a reassuring smile.

"Hang tough, kid." She chuckled, setting the bag down for a moment, and ran a hand through her blonde and black hair.

I rolled my eyes. "Right."

"Senior year is going to suck with you gone, you know."

"Of course it will. But I'll send you the latest and greatest from the coast."

It was her turn to roll her eyes. "Yeah, let me know what it's like to _drive_ all the way to California." She also knew too well what the car meant. I grumbled.

"Is that the last of your stuff?" Mom called. She tossed the empty canister towards the garage and wiped off her hands. Dad was going to have a hard time using his lawnmower when we were gone. Maybe that was the point.

"Yeah, this is it," I muttered.

"Well…we better go then," Mom said. She gave a teary-eyed smile to Jules. "We'll miss you, hon'. All the best to your folks. Keep in touch?"

"'Course, Mrs. Powell," Jules replied. She opened her hand for a high five my way and I obliged her. "Call me?"

"Yeah," I said, and looked back to my mom who was already getting in the car. "My guess is soon."

"Guess this is goodbye then."

"Gonna miss you, Jules." We didn't hug. Who hugs anymore, anyhow? And mom was watching.

"You too, Eepers." I cringed, but allowed the nickname. There was no reason to refuse her anything at this point. And no one was around to hear it, so it wasn't that bad.

I headed down the front steps with my bags in hand. I could feel Jules watching me as I climbed into the front seat. I pulled the door closed and it rattled in the frame.

"Ethan, this will be good for us," Mom muttered. "A fresh start. And it will be good to be with family."

I huffed and waved to Jules, still on the porch. "Family?" I asked, finally biting the bullet. "Where are we going?"

"Your Aunt Madison has offered us some space. You know Carter went off to school last September, and she's kinda lonely anyhow." She started the car, pulling out of the driveway almost immediately. My back slammed against the seat with the force of her acceleration. Probably wanted to gain enough speed to make sure I didn't try to jump out. The wheels whined. "She's got plenty of room for us. And I think we could use a little support from people who love us right now."

I watched as Jules' surprised face grew very small, very quickly. A cloud of dust gathered behind us and she was gone.

Great. Just great.

I had nothing against Aunt Madison, per se. She was a nice woman. And Carter was a good guy; I liked hanging out with him when we got together for holidays. I had no real problem with the idea that I was going to be living with her, in his room most likely.

What I _did_ have a big problem with…where they lived.

If there was somewhere worse than Polson, it was Forks.

The town was just as small as Polson, and had bad weather all year long. I was used to cold by now – Polson had its share of horrible winters – but _all year long_? Cold? No real summer? The place was just always raining. The beach was worthless as a result. I was trading friends and school in a place I grew up in for that? Polson was going to seem like paradise.

I sighed and stared out the window, wishing I had the nerve to jump, tuck and roll.

***

The drive was very long, which didn't help things between my mother and me. I spent a lot of it on the phone with Jules. We talked about nothing in particular. I told her where we were headed, and she laughed. (She laughed!) I should have been angry, but most of my mood was too spent on my mom to share it.

I did enjoy a couple things along the way. She let me drive through Idaho, and part of the way when we finally hit Washington. I guess she wasn't worried about police – or maybe she thought I could pass for twenty-one. Either way, we didn't have any trouble with cops. She was even comfortable enough with me behind the wheel to sleep a little – or maybe she was just so worn out she couldn't help herself.

When we finally pulled into town my mom insisted on making a stop at the local grocery store to bring some food along with us. Because we couldn't show up empty-handed, could we? She parked the car in the giant, unnecessary lot next to a row of bikes. We were going to look like outcasts in our car for sure. I hoped at least one person in town could afford a car – or that we were close enough to school that I could walk. I didn't want to be seen as the stuffy rich kid whose mom refused to give up her antique because she could still buy gas. That would be beyond embarrassing.

_Or I guess there's always the rail. I could take the rail._

Inside the supermarket, Mom weaved through the aisles slowly, with no clear purpose. She would get lost in thought as her eyes fell on a box of cereal she held, not really seeing what they were looking at. A couple of ladies walked past us and I heard them begin to whisper between themselves as they thought they were far enough away to start the gossip.

Yeah, Forks was gonna be _awesome._

"Mom?" I asked, shaking her shoulder a little bit. "What else do we need?"

She sighed and tossed the box of cereal into the cart. "Um. I…don't know. Stuff. A few more things…"

She pushed down the aisle again, this time at least appearing to browse the shelves. I wasn't sure how much more of my mother I could take. And she needed time away from me so she could be herself again. I knew she was just trying to put up a good front – not that it was working out for her.

"I'm going to go see if I can find a new toothbrush. I think I forgot mine," I said. She nodded absently with her blank staring eyes off in the distance. "I'll meet you up at the front."

"Okay, dear."

I turned away from her and wandered down the other way, passing the long row of cereal boxes again. I didn't really need a toothbrush so I just headed up towards the magazine rack. There were a few kids my age there, probably people I would see in school the next day - two girls and one guy. The girls looked like twins, both blonde, both short, but not identical. Sisters for sure. The guy was my height, with black hair that was shaved on one side. He wore a tee shirt for a band I had never heard of – just another piece of proof that I was not cool. Even in Forks.

_Maybe I could meet someone now so I wouldn't have to be completely alone on my first day._

I walked over to the rack and picked up the magazine closest to me, trying not to stand too near to the group, but close enough that perhaps they would notice me and include me in their conversation. I eavesdropped as I pretended to flip through whatever it was I was holding.

"Nope, not hotter," one of the blondes said, giggling. The three of them were huddled around a magazine that the boy held in his hands. He was pointing at one of the pictures. "You're not going to be able to find anyone, Will. It's just not possible."

The other girl sighed. "Yeah. It's a tragedy. A Greek tragedy."

The guy chuckled. "Yeah, well. I don't agree."

"You wouldn't," the first girl said. "But if we asked about the girls? Find someone hotter than they are, I dare you."

"I could," he said, defiant. "If I wanted to. I just don't care. Why should any of us care anyhow? It's completely pointless."

"Not even the French cousin?" the second girl asked. "What was her name again? Starts with an 'r.' You know you like her, Will. Admit it."

The first girl cut in. "Ew, Will! She's way old. Gross."

His face turned red. "I do not. Shut up, Aubree."

I coughed and flipped another page. That seemed to finally do the trick. From the corner of my eye, the closer blonde girl looked over at me.

"Hey, someone new," she whispered to the other two. "There's never anyone new."

"I heard Mrs. Marshall's sister was coming into town with her kid," the guy – Will, I suppose – hissed back. "I didn't know it would be so soon."

The girl called out to me, "You Mrs. Marshall's nephew?"

I looked up, and was starting to wish I hadn't wandered over. The three of them stared back at me, sizing me up. I wondered what exactly was running through their heads.

"Um…yeah. That's me. Ethan. Ethan Powell."

"Nice to meet you, Ethan," the girl said. "I'm Ava Parson. This is my sister, Aubree. And this freak is Will Yorkie."

She seemed nice enough.

"Nice to meet you guys." I crept a little closer, setting the magazine back.

"Where you from, Ethan?" Will asked. He ran a hand through the side of his head that actually had hair. It was down to his chin.

"Polson," I replied. The girls' eyes were puzzled but interested. Probably hoping for somewhere glamorous. "It's in Montana."

"Oh," he replied. I watch all their faces fall slightly, and then they seemed to take in my wardrobe as if finally noticing my ratty jeans and plain blue tee shirt. Finally seeing _me_ for the first time. He looked back down to his magazine.

"So, you starting school out here? Or are you just visiting?" Ava asked. Aubree was giggling about something that Will whispered to her.

"Um. School, yeah. I'll probably be there tomorrow," I replied.

"That's nice," she said.

Behind me, my mom called out, "Ethan?" I turned around to see her coming my way, her cart full. I had to act fast to head her off. I didn't really want her to meet these guys, and definitely didn't want her talking to them if at all possible. That would be…ungood.

"I better go," I said quickly. "See you guys tomorrow, I guess."

Will waved flippantly, and Ava and Aubree smiled. "Bye," Ava called.

I ran over to my mother before she got halfway to the magazine rack and steered her in the direction of the check out.

"Did you make some friends?" she asked. Her face looked better, actual interest lighting her eyes.

"Kinda, I guess." I started hoisting things out of the cart onto the conveyor belt. They passed through the scanner and I listened to the beeping as the total climbed higher. The machine filled the bags one at a time.

"That's good," she replied. "I'm glad."

She didn't ask about the toothbrush, but that wasn't surprising.

"I think this place is going to be good for us," she said, reaffirming her earlier statement. As though saying over and over was going to make it true.

"Maybe," I replied. "I hope so."

***

It was almost dark when we reached Aunt Madison's place, and it had started to rain. The house was easily over two hundred years old – a ramshackle two-story thing with prefab siding from the nineteen-nineties. That was probably the last renovation it had seen, and it was peeling from the layers of paint over the years. I wondered how long it had gone untouched. Aunt Madison just wasn't the fixer-upper type. With Carter gone I had a suspicion I would have a lot of new chores on my hands.

"Emma!" Aunt Madison called from the porch. Mom killed the engine and sighed. Aunt Madison walked down the short steps and out to the car, holding an umbrella. "I was starting to worry."

We got out of the car and I immediately started unloading bags from the back.

"Sorry. I should have called. We stopped at the store."

"You didn't need to do that," Aunt Madison said. "I have plenty. Empty house and all that."

"It's just a few essentials." Mom looked worn out. She turned to me, "Ethan, you got that?"

I was probably a little overloaded. I had all three of my bags slung over my shoulder and a grocery bag in each hand. But I was going to do this in one trip. I didn't want to go back out in the weather.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I trudged up the stairs, pausing only once in the kitchen to drop the grocery bags on the floor and shake myself off. The house was quiet and all the rooms in back were dark. There was something very lonely about that – spooky almost. It would be silly for Aunt Madison to have all the house lights on, I guess. She was only one person, took up only one room. Why should any others be on?

I took my bags upstairs, flipping on the hall light in passing. That helped a little bit, but not much. It was still eerily quiet and I didn't like how the floorboards creaked under my feet as I walked. Someone needed to redo their house.

Carter's was the second to last room, after the guest room that I figured my mom would be using. I didn't want to disturb anything. He still had posters up on the walls, trophies from high school swim meets up on the shelves. His desk was practically a shrine to swimming legends that I had never heard of. Phelps? Anderson? He had pictures from almost every major summer Olympics going back to the early nineteen-eighties – a collage of winners from the U.S. up on their podiums, gold around their necks.

Thankfully, Aunt Madison had sectioned off one side of the closet for me to hang my things. I didn't want to unpack just yet, though. I set my stuff down in front of the closet and sat down on the bed. The few seconds of silence were enough for me. I shoved my hand in my pocket, fished my phone out, and clipped it onto my ear. I pushed the button on the side.

"Call Jules," I said. After a moment, the line rang.

It didn't take her long to answer. "Thought it would be sooner," she said.

"We stopped at the store," I replied.

"Mm. Fun."

"Have I missed anything yet?" I asked, desperate for something to think about besides my new boring life. The rain started to really pick up outside, pelting on the window like little ball bearings.

"C'mon, Eepers. That's ridiculous. You've been gone a day. This is Polson we're talking about."

"Right." No such luck. "And don't call me that."

"Keep dreaming, kid." She laughed. "Mostly, they're all talking about you. And how you're gone. And how your dad is alone."

"I wonder if mom will let me call him," I thought out loud.

"I'll pass something along if she won't. What do you want to say to him?"

_Great timing, Dad. You're a jerk. An idiot. Why did you have to go and do this now?_

"Nothing," I finally said. "It's fine."

"Okay…" We were both silent for a minute and I thought I could hear the music playing in her room – a mix I had made her. "How's the new place? What's Forks like?"

"It's like Polson. Only rainier."

"Sounds like my kinda town. I'm gonna have to visit sometime."

"You better. I don't know if I am going to make any headway with the guys at school very quickly. It's gonna get really lonely."

"Oh?"

"I met some of them at the store…" I gave her a play by play of the goings on at the supermarket, and she read it a little more hopefully than I would have.

"They sound nice. And it seems that Ava girl has a crush on you."

I sighed. "Stop it, Jules. Stop it right there. She does not."

She giggled. "Touchy. Methinks you agree, but won't say so."

"Whatever."

From downstairs my mom called up, saving me from any more of Jules' teasing. "Ethan! Dinner!"

"Gotta go, Jules. Talk to you later."

"Coward," she replied, and hung up.

Dinner was good; Aunt Madison already had lasagna waiting for us. I was finished with it a lot sooner than they were, though Mom didn't seem to eat much. After a little small talk I excused myself with the pretence that I was tired from the trip. I knew she wanted to vent to Aunt Madison, and she wasn't going to do that with me around. They were completely silent as I took my plate to the washer and set it inside, silent still as I walked upstairs.

I stopped at the top and listened, my hand on the rail.

"Oh, Maddy," Mom said in a broken whisper. "I don't know how to do this."

"Emma, you'll be fine. Ethan will be fine. It just takes time."

"Time. Right." She sighed. "I'm such an idiot."

"No, you're not. He is."

"Don't say that for my benefit. How long have you known?"

There was a long pause. A fork scraped on a plate. "At least a year."

Mom groaned. "A year? I'm _such_ an idiot." Her voice broke at the end and I heard her start to cry. It was more than I wanted to hear.

I crept back down the hall as quietly as I could so they wouldn't know I was eavesdropping. Mom's echoing sobs followed me all the way to Carter's room.

***

First days in most places and most situations are very…awkward…for me. Some people do well in spotlights. I'm not one of them. I fidget, I'm nervous, and I never make a good first impression no matter how hard I try.

My first day at Forks High was no exception.

The rail stop wasn't too far from where Aunt Madison lived – where I lived, now – so that spared me the embarrassment of Mom driving me. I waited – not alone, because there were a couple of kids there from the closer houses, Aunt Madison's neighbors. I was silent, and kept to myself at the back of the crowd. I didn't recognize any of them. None of them recognized me. But I did hear a couple whispers and that made me think that perhaps the news was really spreading and I wasn't all too much of a surprise for them.

The big yellow machine stopped on the rail with a tinny huff. A creak sounded as the door opened and I heard the quiet internal clicking of the engine. But inside, the voices were deafening. Too many of them. Was the whole school on the rail? There had to be more than one rail going to school…right? Even Polson had two rails to the high school. Though, it had two sides of a humongous lake to contend with, but still…

I climbed inside and ignored the whispers as I made my way to one of the empty seats in the back, as far from the turning heads as possible. What I wouldn't have given to have Jules sitting next to me, talking to me, making me appear normal. Instead, I sighed and stared out the window, my head on the glass.

At the second to last stop, I recognized Ava and Aubree. They climbed in, chatting and shouting hellos to almost everyone. Ava nodded at me in passing, but didn't stop or sit nearby. Neither of them did. They found seats among some girls on the other side.

Will joined in on the last stop, and didn't even acknowledge my existence.

Well, there went all my prep work.

When we arrived there were only a few bikes in the lot. No cars. There were a couple of smarts I figured for faculty cars, only they would be willing to drive around in something so crazy looking. Even I knew that smarts equaled nerds.

The campus was not what I expected. It wasn't one big building, but a lot of little ones. And it took me a moment to spot the main office. Once I did, I jogged over – it had started to sprinkle and my stupid jacket didn't have a hood.

The ladies inside were expecting me, of course. The woman at the desk gave me a map and a schedule and asked that I come back at the end of my last class so she could double check my attendance in her computer. I was fairly certain she was the nicest person I was going to come across all day long.

When I stepped outside again it wasn't quite time for class. The students were huddled around, chatting and laughing in small groups, ignoring the rain. Easy for them. They all had hoods.

Just as I took shelter next to a building marked with a big '6' over the door, I noticed a car was sitting in the lot. A car. It was shiny and silver, much nicer than anything I had ever seen. I didn't even recognize the brand on the grill.

Before I could recover my open-mouthed stare, I spotted another car parked just a few spaces away. Black, and faster looking. There was a mild purr coming from each of them, and suddenly my mom's gas extravagance didn't seem quite so bad.

The cars were empty, save for the drivers, who seemed to be looking across the short distance at each other. A girl and a guy – both in their twenties. They smiled to each other, and the guy revved his engine. His dark hair was spiked short, he winked across to the girl and pealed out in reverse. He took off out of the lot, and I worried that a cop might go after him.

Though, from the looks of it, they probably couldn't catch him if they tried.

The girl rolled her eyes and chuckled, her soft bronze curls shaking back and forth with her head. She pulled out just a little bit slower and followed behind him.

Was I the only one staring? I looked around the yard and not a single head had turned. This was just every day to them, routine. I decided it was probably best if I did the same, and since I couldn't find anything better to look at, I stared down at my schedule, trying to get a better grip on what exactly was expected of me that first day.

History, building eight.

History. Perfect.

***

That first morning went by pretty much how I expected it to. The classes were small, the classes were predictable, and I was the only one who didn't already know everyone. Faces became less of a blur by lunch, and when I stepped into the cafeteria I recognized some of the students around the room. I could even match a couple names to the faces.

One in particular stood out.

Ava was watching me as I headed to the lunch line. She waved from a nearby table and motioned for me to join them once I got my food. I nodded and smiled, as the worst of it all seemed to be over now. I had someone to talk to.

I wandered over with my tray – an exciting egg salad sandwich and orange juice carton. Ava patted the seat beside her.

"Ethan," she said. "You remember Aubree and Will, right?" I nodded to the two seated next to her. They both waved absently and returned to some whispered conversation I had interrupted.

"And that's Nate and Charlotte," Ava continued. The pair across from me smiled politely. The boy had brown hair that crossed his forehead at a slant. The girl's was a brunette as well, but had a little lighter tint to it. Her hair fell in little waves to her shoulder.

"So how is your first day going?" Ava asked.

"Fine, I guess," I said. "How is it supposed to go?"

She laughed. "Fine. I guess."

It was then, as I tried to come up with something clever, something to keep Ava interested, that I first saw them.

They were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, as far away from the majority of students as possible. There were six of them, three guys and three girls. They didn't look like they were talking, and they certainly weren't eating. Their trays of food sat in front of them, packages unopened, utensils untouched. They seemed to be so wrapped up in whatever little world they were in that they didn't notice a single other thing in the room.

Which made it easy for me to stare.

I didn't realize I was staring, really. I couldn't help myself. They were just – as dramatic as it sounds – captivating. They all looked very different. The guys were in good shape – one of them was huge, the one with the curly brown hair. And then the taller one was leaner, blonde. They both looked like seniors. The last of them was shorter, and younger, probably a junior like me. He had a head of shiny, bronze hair.

The girls were…beyond words. One was short, and elfish, with black spiky hair that shot out of her head at weird angles. The tallest one was blonde, leggy, and could easily have stepped off of a couple covers of magazines I had hidden under my bed back in Polson. The third girl…well…

She won.

Maybe she wasn't as traditional in her beauty, but she was no less remarkable. Her deep chestnut hair seemed to flow down around her, graceful even as she remained motionless. Her heart-shaped face seemed too perfect. She had full lips, and just as I looked down to them, they moved. A bare whisper or mumble passing through as she stared down at her lunch tray.

I wondered what she was saying.

And though they were all so different, somehow they were all exactly the same. Pale, near to the point of looking ill, with dark purple shadows under their eyes. I wondered exactly what was keeping them up at night that they would look so tired. And all their features were perfect. They all could have been in magazines, models or something. Bizarre, for a town like this one.

Ava nudged me and I couldn't help the question as it leapt out of my mouth.

"Who are _they_?"

Ava looked over to where I was staring and sighed. As she did, the bronze-haired boy looked up briefly as though someone had called out to him. His eyes flicked to mine, and then he turned to the brunette, who sat across from him, and smiled.

I looked back to Ava as fast as I could turn my head. _No more staring, Ethan._

"That's Edward, Emmett, and Alice Cullen; Jasper and Rosalie Hale, and Bella Black. They all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife."

"They are very…different."

"I know," Ava said, resigned to the awed tone behind my words. She continued, her voice a little more bitter. "They are all together though. So there's no use trying." I guessed I wasn't the first guy to go looking after those girls. Heck, I probably wasn't the first anyone to go looking after those girls.

"Together?" I asked. I watched Will and Aubree become interested in the conversation. Aubree giggled.

"Emmett and Rosalie, Jasper and Alice, Edward and Bella," Aubree explained, her voice turning with the scandal. Her eyebrows peaked. "And they live together."

"Except for Bella," Ava amended. "I think she lives with her step-brother."

Aubree rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"Which ones are the Cullens?" I asked.

Will joined in. "Emmett's the big one, Alice is the short girl and Edward is the younger one. They're all adopted. And Jasper and Rosalie are foster children or something."

"And Bella?" I asked.

"The brunette," Will said. "Her step-brother married Edward's cousin, or something like that…" He tacked the end on quickly and looked off to the wall on the other side of the room.

Aubree cut in. "They just moved here last year. All of them. Mom told us Dr. Cullen had an ancestor who owned a house out here…went untouched for a really long time."

"Oh," I replied.

The six of them stood, graceful and fluid in their motion, all alike. It was like a choreographed routine. I half expected them to break into a dance right there in the cafeteria, but of course, they didn't. As they turned and left I couldn't help but stare again.

Beside me, Ava sighed.

***

My last class was Government in building three. Ava walked me there from lunch so I wouldn't feel like a complete social leper. I was beginning to think Jules had been right about her. And I wasn't sure what I thought about that. Ava left me at the door and I watched her for a moment as she shrugged off into the rain, in the direction of the gym.

It was almost full when I finally walked inside. I scanned the room and found the only open seat was in the last row, near the corner…next to Bella Black.

My heart started to race.

What a silly reaction to a pretty girl. Okay, much more than a pretty girl, but still. I had never found myself that nervous around girls before, even ones that I liked. Just before I reached my seat, I tripped over someone's bag and the notebook I had been holding clattered to the floor. Before I had a chance to look up again, she was there, crouched in front of me, handing back the fallen notebook.

"Here you go." Her voice was light and musical. I looked into her eyes and couldn't help but find myself staring again. They were an intense golden color that I wasn't sure was even possible.

"Um, thanks," I finally replied.

She smiled. "No problem. First day?"

Nodding, I picked myself back up and fought against the blush as I took my seat. A few giggles passed through the room.

She smiled. "I'm Bella."

"Ethan. Is me. I mean… I'm Ethan."

_So brilliant._

"Nice to meet you, Ethan. I hope you like it here in Forks."

"Me too." My voice was definitely shaky.

The teacher cleared his throat and we both turned to pay attention. Or at least pretend we were.

I should remember that class. I should be able to tell you what we talked about, what the lecture was on, what I wrote in my notes… The problem is, I have no idea what any of it was. I was far too distracted by the girl next to me. Her every breath, her every move, was graceful. From the corner of my eye, I watched her listening intently to the teacher, taking notes. Every once in a while I thought I heard a soft chuckle beside me and I would steal a glance only to see her face expressionless, eyes forward.

When the bell rang, I waited behind. If I was going to stumble, I didn't want an audience this time. I watched Bella rise from her chair and walk out of the room along with everyone else. But her movements made them all look like bumbling idiots.

Once I finally decided it was safe, I gathered my things and walked out into the rain. Ava, Aubree and Will were waiting there for me and I tried my best to pay attention to them. But it was difficult. From the stair I saw Bella meet up with the boy – Edward – and take his hand. They were turned away from me, walking toward the parking lot.

_Life couldn't be more unfair._

Just as I had the thought, Edward's head turned and he gave me a small smile from over his shoulder. At least, that's what it seemed like. But he was probably looking at someone else. By the time I really had the chance to process the expression, he was back to looking at her. His smile grew wider.

The cars from the morning had returned, and the two of them scooted into the backseat of the silver one. They exchanged kisses on the cheek with the woman driving as Edward's younger sister took the passenger seat. She was so short, her face barely showed over the dash. She looked at me for the shortest second, her head tilted and her brow puckered – and then the car was backing out, pulling out of the parking lot.

And they were gone.

"How was your first day?" Ava asked.

"Fine," I said. "Just fine."

* * *

**Thoughts? **


	2. Chapter 2

**a/n: I continued it. I wasn't planning on it really. And then they bugged me. And I kinda like this one.**

**Thanks to Project Team Beta for the beta on this. :) They are wonderful!

* * *

**

Chapter 2

When I got back to Aunt Madison's house that afternoon, I was sick of the rain. My shoes were waterproof but the rest of me was not, and my mom was going to have to surrender some money for a jacket or I was going to live my life as a mop.

I sloshed up the stairs and shook off on the porch. I wrung out the sleeves of my sweater.

"Ethan? Is that you?" Mom called from inside.

"Yeah," I replied, opening the door.

"Oh! You're all wet!" she said. "Stay there and I'll get a towel."

I stood just inside the threshold, waiting for her. The house was dark again; the clouds outside were thick enough to keep the sunlight at bay. I watched the lights flick on as Mom ran down the hallway.

"Is Aunt Madison home?" I called back to her.

"No," Mom replied. She disappeared into the bathroom at the end of the hall. "She's at the store until six. In fact…" She reappeared with the towel. "I think it would be nice if you offered to help her out down there. She might even pay you for your time."

_Might _pay me?

"Oh, well, I don't know anything about working in a store," I said. She began to towel my head and face. I took the towel out of her hands. "I can handle it. I'm not a baby."

"Sorry. You're right. You're not a baby. And that's exactly why I think it might be a good idea to get some work experience."

I rolled my eyes.

"Ethan. Do this one thing. It's all I'm asking for really. Be nice to your Aunt and offer some help."

This _one_ thing? Moving to a ridiculously tiny town in the middle of my junior year doesn't count? "Doesn't she have any employees? I mean, there's no way she runs that place by herself."

"Of course she does. But Carter used to help a lot, and now that he's gone…"

_I'm sensing a theme. _

"Fine. Whatever. I'll talk to her at dinner."

"Good. You want to help me cook?" Mom asked, her hand on her hips.

"I've got homework."

"Ok. Well, I guess I'll let you know when the food's ready."

"Yeah." I took my bag and now damp towel, and walked up to Carter's room.

After I had changed into some dry clothes and finally started to feel slightly less resentful about the weather, I got my notebook out of my bag and turned it on. It was time to face the music. It was time to face my friends back home. Homework, schmomework.

I pulled up the Internet connection and first thing that came up on my account were a series of messages from Jules.

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Call me._

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Call me._

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Call me. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Nevermind. I'm calling you._

The phone rang. "Jules Appleby calling."

I answered the line. "What?"

"Patrick Wells had the nerve to try to ask out Joy Peterson. And of course Brett retaliated."

I didn't care. "Really?"

"Pat's bike is in the lake." I could hear the smile in her voice.

"That sucks."

"You don't care."

"I _really_ don't care."

"How bad was day one? Lay it on me."

I sighed. There were ten emails, all about the bike-in-lake situation. Typical Polson High nonsense. Justin had sent me a sympathy card – because my social life had officially died.

"It wasn't horrible. I am probably making a big deal out of nothing. Really. I just…"

There was a friend request from Ava. I skimmed through her photo gallery. There were mostly pictures of her and her sister, a couple with Will. Her profile photo was the three of them with flashlights under their chins. I accepted her. It wasn't something I gave a second thought about. If I didn't, I would alienate the one person who was even remotely friendly to me. Even though I knew there was a possibility she might just take it a different way…

"You're now friends with Ava Parson," Jules said. "I'm going to have to add her you know. I want to meet the future Mrs. Powell."

"Shut up, Jules."

She chuckled. "So you were saying…?"

"I just hate it here. You know? It's raining. _Still_ raining. It's probably going to be raining tomorrow. It's just going to rain for the rest of my life." I changed my high school listing to Forks High on my profile.

"Yummy."

"And as much as I hate to admit it, I think you're right about Ava."

"So what? She looks cute."

"Stop stalking her profile."

"I'm a creeper. Get over it."

"I don't like her that way, Jules. I don't want her to get the wrong idea. And at the same time, she's the only nice person I've met…well…" She wasn't the _only_ nice person.

"Eepers?"

"Nothing." I tried to block out Jules' nosiness for a moment as I typed 'Bella Black – Forks High' into the search box.

"Eeeeeeeperrrrsssss. Talk to me. Other prospects?"

The search results read: _No profiles found._

Weird.

"EEEEEEPERRRRRRS!"

"Damn it, Jules. You're going to make me deaf."

How could Bella _not _have a profile? Seriously.

"You need to tell me about the girl. Don't change the subject on me," she said.

"Well…" I groaned.

"Yes?"

"There's this girl named Bella in my government class. She was nice to me. But she's beyond me. I mean completely out of reach. And she has a boyfriend. And he's like a model or something. Has to be. And he's got two older brothers. One of them is huge." I tried to search her name again. No listings found. "So the only sentence she will ever hear from me is, 'Can I borrow a pencil?'"

"Aw, Ethan, no one is too good for you."

"Shut up, Jules. If you saw her, you would agree. Wholeheartedly."

"Well if the boyfriend is as good looking as you say he is, maybe I'll just come up for a visit and we can break them up together."

I rolled my eyes. "I should be doing homework."

"And I should be putting away my laundry. But I'm not."

I tried taking out the school listing. It was feasible she forgot to keep her profile up to date; they had only just moved into town last year…

No listings found.

I don't know why I cared so much. It was wasted effort on a lost cause. I told myself I was just trying to make friends at school. But that wasn't really the truth.

"I'm going, Jules. I'll call after dinner."

"Teacher's pet," she replied, and hung up.

I switched my notebook to student mode and called up the assignments for my classes. I spent an hour or so reading _The Crucible _for English, and a chapter from the history textbook. I left the math for another day, I wasn't sure I was ready to face that monster.

By the time I was finished, Mom called me down for dinner. Aunt Madison was in the kitchen with her, helping her chop up the last bits of vegetables for the salad. The two of them brought bowls over to the table.

"So I was telling Ethan about your store," Mom said as she dished herself some peas. "And I think he was interested in helping you out down there. You know, if you need it."

"Oh, Ethan," Aunt Madison said, "That'd be wonderful. I could use a hand on Tuesdays and Thursdays if you had time after school. And maybe Saturdays too?"

_The weekend? _

"Um, sure." I put a piece of chicken onto my plate.

She was smiling so wide I knew there was no way I could back out. "You could come by tomorrow and get started. If you wanted."

"Sounds good."

After a couple of silent moments only filled only by scraping forks, Mom took up the other subject I didn't want to talk about. "So, Ethan, I didn't get to hear about your first day at school. How was it?"

"Wet," I replied. I pushed peas around the plate.

"That part I noticed. That reminds me, Maddy, can you recommend a good place to get him a rain coat or something?"

Aunt Madison rapped her fingers on the table. "I think I might have something of Carter's in the attic that would fit him well. Though it's supposed to be sunny tomorrow so he probably won't need it."

"I'm not taking my chances," I said. They both laughed.

"Are the other students being nice? Are the classes okay?"

"Everything is fine, Mom. It'll be fine."

She gave in. "Okay. That's good."

***

After dinner, I went up to the attic for the jacket. All the things Aunt Madison had taken out of Carter's closet to make room for my things were now in a box in the corner of the creepiest room of the house. I had to climb up a rickety wooden ladder to get there, and the light was really horrible.

There was a long row of plastic boxes against the right wall, each labeled on top. I walked down the side, squinting in the dim light to read what the contents were – _Joseph's Clothes, Grandma's Knick Knacks, Sewing Stuff, Grandpa's Yearbooks and School Trophies, Christmas Decorations…_

The last box was blank, but it had to be the right one. So I opened it and sure enough there was a pile of folded clothes inside. I dug down to the very bottom and found a dark gray raincoat. It was a lot nicer than my other clothes, and probably the most expensive thing I would ever wear. It was bound to look a little weird with the rest of my less-fashionable attire. But I wasn't going to be picky. Hoods are wonderful things.

I turned the light back off and slung the jacket over my shoulder as I climbed back down the frightening ladder. It made creaking noises all the way down but didn't collapse.

Aunt Madison passed me in the hall as I headed back to my room. "You found it. Great."

"Yeah. Now I can keep all that Forks' sunshine out of my eyes tomorrow."

"You'll see."

***

Sure enough there was real, honest to God sunlight pouring through the curtains when I woke up the next day. Something about the light made me feel a little more optimistic. I could survive Forks High another day. I could make more friends. I could talk to Bella Black in government class.

And who knows, every high school relationship has its breaking point; there must be one for that couple too. I just had to be patient. Right?

Right.

I left the raincoat on the bed for another day. I even whistled as I walked downstairs.

"You're awful chipper today," Mom remarked from behind the kitchen counter. She was wiping down the tile and the light from the window above the sink caught the newly wet surface. It sparkled.

"I like the weather."

"Just as Maddy said. She's a regular psychic."

I rolled my eyes. "Or she checked the weather report."

"Or that too. You got your notebook? Your lunch card?" Mom asked.

"Yeah," I replied. I shifted my bag on my back and started toward the front door.

"How about some breakfast?" she asked as my hand hit the knob.

I opened the door. "Um, not hungry."

"Have something, Ethan!" Mom called out to me as I started down the front steps. I paused at the bottom of the porch and looked back up at the doorway. She was standing there with something in her hand. "It's the most important meal of the day."

"Okay fine." She tossed what she was holding down to me – an apple. "Thanks."

"Have a good day hon'. I love you."

"You too."

I could feel her eyes on me as I walked down the road to the rail stop. I felt a certain relief when I passed around the bend and I knew there was no way she could see me anymore.

There were a handful of kids headed to the rail ahead of me. I could recognize them now as freshmen, and one junior who was in my history class. Most of them were wearing short sleeves, and some of the boys had shorts on. It was sunny, yes, but not very warm. I wasn't sure how they did it.

I sat down on a bench that was beside the sign for the rail stop, listening in on the conversations around me. Generally I try not to eavesdrop, but when there's no one to talk to, sometimes you can't help it.

One girl was staring off into the trees, talking on her headset. "You don't have the courage. And I still think you're a liar. – Yeah, whatever. – Nah, I'm bored…"

Two of the boys were tossing a ball back and forth.

"You think he'll let us play outside today?" the first one asked.

"Field's still muddy," the other replied.

"Damn."

The girl on the headset droned on, "…I dunno. I think we should run a story about Bigfoot…Ha ha…My brother swears he's seen him."

Bigfoot? What the hell kind of town was I in?

But then, we had our legends of lake monsters back in Polson.

The rail finally arrived and I lifted myself off the bench. I was still holding the damn apple my mom had given me on her way out the door. And there was no way I was going to eat it, so I set it down on the bench.

The little group of us stepped into the rail proper, and the girl on the headset continued to drone on. Only now, as we made our way down the aisle, I could hear the other side of the conversation coming from a girl in the third row on the right. The two of them didn't even think to turn off their headsets until they were sitting next to each other.

I shook my head as I passed. _Girls. _

I made my way to the very back, the last seat on the left, next to the window. After a moment we pulled away. I watched outside as the lonely apple waited behind for the next lap of the rail.

_Bye, apple._

My spirits were pretty good. The day ahead still looked nice, and I found I was actually kind of excited at the prospect of arriving at school. I stared out the window, trying to find the best words to open a conversation with Bella Black.

_Hey there, Bella. How are you? What do you think of the weather? _

If I asked her that, she would think I was an idiot.

_You know, I'm pretty good at government stuff. If you ever needed any help…_

Why don't you just call _her _an idiot?

_Hey, do you know where I could go to do something this weekend? I really haven't gotten a chance to get around town and I'm not sure what there is to do for fun…_

Except I have to work on Saturday.

I lost track of time as I ran conversations over and over in my head. I imagined what her replies would be to everything I said. Sometimes I was funny, and she would laugh like music and touch my arm. And then imaginary me would collapse onto the ground from the sheer impossibility that she would even lay a hand on me. Other times I would say something that accidentally offended her, or her family, or – God forbid – her boyfriend, and she would run away crying.

_Wow. Excellent daydreams, Ethan. _

Ava slid into the seat next to me, breaking me from my reverie. I hadn't even noticed the stop.

"Hey Ethan. Great weather, right?"

I almost started laughing in her face. I settled for a strained smile. "Better than I was expecting."

"You busy this weekend? The sun's supposed to be out 'til Saturday, and I was thinking of getting some people…"

"Actually, I have to work. Sorry."

"You have a job?"

I shrugged. "I'm helping out at my aunt's store."

And just like Polson, she didn't have to ask who my aunt was, or what store I was referring to. "Oh. That's nice."

"Yep."

Silence.

Silence.

"Do you camp a lot?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Well, I mean, helping out at Mrs. Marshall's store…I just thought you were the outdoorsy type. Never mind. I'm dumb." She turned her head to look at the back of the seat in front of us.

"Oh. Well I used to camp sometimes back home. But I'm more of a water sports guy. Swimming and stuff."

She smiled. "Oh, right…were you on a swim team?"

"No. Just lake stuff. Polson is right next to Flathead Lake."

"That must have been cool."

"Yeah. It was."

She was trying very hard.

Silence.

I was thankful when we finally arrived on campus. She followed me off the rail, all the way to building six. I hung out just beside the doorway and she waited next to me. Will and Aubree passed by, whispering and snickering. I waved, and they returned the gesture, and then laughed.

"They'll come around," Ava said.

"It's ok." I was a little distracted. My eyes were watching the parking lot for the appearance of the fancy cars from the day before. They weren't there yet, but I thought surely if I waited long enough I would get one look at her before I went into class.

"I better go," Ava said.

"'Kay."

"See you at lunch?"

"'Kay."

I didn't even turn my head as she walked away.

The minutes passed and the cars never came. I waited until the very last second before I finally gave in and went inside.

Where was she?

***

Classes went by pretty well. I was getting used to the routine of it. My teachers were nice enough and I was starting to learn my way around the bizarre housing complex that was the campus.

I found myself anxious through my whole last class before lunch. My leg bounced up and down and I stared blankly at the screen of my notebook as the sample problems rolled along with the lecture. From my periphery, the minutes on the clock face had frozen and refused to move at all.

_Gahhhhhhhhhh…_

"And if you watch the sample problem in the next frame…"

_1…2…3…4…5…_

Time had to go forward. I would make it.

…_34…35…36…_

"Who can give me another example? Andrew?"

The boy in front of me cringed. "Ummm…"

_…45…46…_

I tapped my fingers against the keys of my notepad. My notes were: _adjd;fdfdl;fjdfjfjfdfjf;sa;_

And then the clock finally changed. The screen of it flashed 'Lunch One' for a couple seconds as the tone sounded that told us we were finally free.

"Okay guys," Mr. Mendelssohn shouted above the students rushing out the door. "Pages one-ten to one-twelve from your books by Friday!"

I barely heard the end of his plea as I dashed out the door.

The Cullens weren't there when I walked in, but not many were. I grabbed a tray and the first lunch option from the cafeteria line. I went to the table I had sat at the day before, figuring it was a daily thing for the group and Ava would find me easily if she wanted to.

Plus it had a good view of the door and the far corner table.

Students filtered in and started getting their food. Ava and Aubree walked in with their arms linked and made their way to join me. Will came soon after with Nate.

"Where's Charlotte?" Ava asked, sitting down next to me.

"She's sick. Sore throat."

"Oh bummin'."

When the last chair had scooted out in the room, and the hallway was empty beyond the entryway, I started to think there was a chance I wasn't going to see her. None of them were there. It was a very weird mass absence that seemed to bother no one, and I felt uncomfortable asking why.

Perhaps they were so secluded from the student population that no one really noticed whether they showed up or not. Perhaps they had planned on being away – shooting a movie or out being the rock stars they most certainly had to be. Maybe they were at a photo shoot for some national sports drink endorsement.

"Man…we have to _do _something this weekend," Will whined. "I'm so bored I want to bash my skull into the wall just so I can clean up the blood."

"Did you have something in mind? Or were you just trying to make me gag?" Aubree asked.

There was no way they were also sick. Not all of them. Not at the same time.

I still couldn't make myself bring up the topic.

"We could head down to the beach."

"No. Not going down there again. Not after last time," Aubree said.

"Bowling?" Ava suggested. Everyone groaned in reply. "Fine. I'll shut up."

I ate my macaroni and felt my good mood evaporate. Forks sucked. Again. Nice weather be damned.

Will was drumming his hands on the edge of the table. "Something is going down this weekend, so be ready for it. I don't know what, but be ready."

"We should make sure it's after town closes up so Ethan can come," Ava said.

Will eyed me and then shrugged. "Okay. Whatever."

Evidently I had plans.

I really, really, really didn't care.

***

After school I took the rail to the first stop and walked into town. Aunt Madison's shop was an outdoors supply shop called 'Newton's.' It was one of the newer buildings in the area – Uncle Joseph had renovated the year before he passed away.

As I entered the shop, the display near the door spoke to me about the specials running in the store. Above the annoying advertisement, Aunt Madison shouted, "Ethan! Welcome!" She was standing behind the front counter, with a box of fishing equipment in front of her. "So glad you made it."

"Yeah. I didn't forget."

"Of course not." She gestured for me to come around to meet her. "You have great timing. I wanted to go back and handle a couple inventory things. Do you think you could watch the register for me?"

"Yeah. Um. I don't exactly know how…"

"It's not hard. It practically runs itself. It knows what people are buying when they set the stuff on the counter. All you have to do is bag and make sure their cards don't get declined. I couldn't afford one of those fancy self-registers."

"Um…"

"I doubt anyone will come in anyhow. Don't worry. I'll be back in a little bit." She took the box with her and started for the back of the store. "Oh! And there's an apron hanging on the wall for you."

She disappeared behind a door in the far corner that I could only hear as it opened and shut.

There was a quiet strain of country music coming from the loudspeakers. I put on the apron that waited for me on the wall. It already had my name stitched in one corner, along with a giant white "Newton's" logo in the middle.

Perfect.

At least I wasn't working at Walmart.

I thrummed my fingers on the counter for a couple minutes.

I counted the lights in the ceiling.

I memorized the names of the aisles.

And just as I started humming along to a song that I pretty much hate, a guy walked in the front door. The display shouted at him, "We have a special discount on live bait this week! Also be sure to check out our wide selection of hiking boots…"

He looked about my age, though I was certain I hadn't seen him at school before. He was tall and looked like the kind of guy who could easily beat my head into the ground if he so chose. His brown hair was a little past his eye line, and he wore a white tank shirt and shorts. He had no shoes.

"Hey man, can you point me in the direction of tents?" he asked.

Never more thankful for bored memorization, I replied, "Aisle seven."

"Thanks."

He walked away and I silently begged Aunt Madison to come back and take over for me so I wouldn't make a complete fool of myself. There were a couple shuffling noises from aisle seven, and then he started to make his way back up to the counter with three boxes in his hands.

No such luck.

He set the stuff on the counter and the register came to life with sounds and lights. It started talking to me and I wasn't really sure what it was saying.

"How much?" he asked.

"Ummm… one sec…"

He looked around as I tried to figure out which display on the register was the total. One of them was flashing "Sale?" and another one was lit with the words "End Task."

"I'm sorry, it's my first day," I said.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not in a rush." He chuckled. "Hey, you new around here?"

"Yeah. I just moved in yesterday."

"Ah," he replied.

I pushed the 'End Task' panel. It seemed to like me doing that. It changed to a number.

"That's one hundred and forty seven dollars and thirty cents."

He handed me a card. "You over at Forks High then?"

"Yeah." I passed his card under the reader and it went through. I started to bag his items. He had a tent, a propane stove and extra can to go along with it.

"How's that working out for you?" he asked.

"It's okay, I guess."

"I'm sorry. I just wonder what life off the rez is like sometimes. Our high school sucks."

Quileute then. "I bet it's no better than ours."

"I'm Jeremy, by the way."

"Ethan."

"Cool. Nice to meet you, man. Thanks for the help." He grabbed his bags and tapped the counter twice with his free palm. "See ya."

"Bye."

After he left, it was another hour before Aunt Madison came back. And when she did, I relayed the story of my customer and she said she was proud of me for having figured everything out. We spent the remainder of the day walking around the store. She showed me where the exciting cleaning supplies were and where the stock room was. No one else came in.

At six we drove home, and the last bits of sunlight burned out over the line of never-ending trees. I had a feeling it was exactly how the rest of my high school life would play out – boredom, sprinkled with random cameos of cool people I would never see again.

* * *

**Yes? No? Maybe? Drop dead? **


	3. Chapter 3

**a/n: I changed the title of this to 'Canon' as it's not really a one-shot epilogue anymore. *shrugs* I make up diseases. We're in the future...remember? Chapter four is going to be awesome. Monday perhaps. Um yeah. I'm in love with Ethan Powell. Are you? Oh, and I apologize in advance for the cliffie.**

**Thanks are owed to Project Team Beta for giving it a look over on my second draft. :) Thanks for the clean up, guys.

* * *

**

Chapter 3

Friday at lunch, Bella and her friends were still absent. As I stole glances to their empty table, I could only hope that my fresh depression wasn't too obvious. I kept watching out the door for them to trickle in with the latecomers.

"Will told me in Bio that he's figured out our plans for Saturday," Aubree said. "I don't know what he's thinking – rain's supposed to roll in sooner than they thought. Maybe tonight even."

"Rain won't stop Will. He's unstoppable," Nate said.

Ava and Aubree rolled their eyes in unison.

The hall beyond the doors was officially empty. They were officially not coming. And again, nobody seemed to think twice about it. This had to mean that they would be back soon, I told myself. I sighed into my tapioca pudding.

A sharp rapping on the table made me jump. Will was drumming two flashlights against the wood right next to me.

"Ladies and gents – Saturday – Cemetery Tag," he announced.

_Cemetery Tag?_

"Nice," Aubree cooed. "Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you are not as brilliant as I am. Nearly so, but not quite."

"Cemetery Tag?" I asked.

"This is perfect," Ava said. "Ethan can come."

"Oh, yeah, sure," Will replied. "You can handle this right, E?"

I had earned a nickname. "I'm guessing you do this in a cemetery?"

"Yes." His eyes grew wide and a grin spread across his face. He turned one of the flashlights on and pointed it upward under his chin. "At night…"

"Isn't it supposed to rain?"

"Got a coat?" He laughed.

Ava patted my shoulder. "It will be fun. You'll see."

I nodded along and spooned more pudding into my mouth. In my defense, I wasn't scared of cemeteries. I just didn't like the combination of night plus cemetery plus rain plus people I didn't know very well. But they had bestowed a nickname on me, not that I ever liked nicknames, and I was going to have to go along with them.

"Where is it…?"

"The cemetery is on the corner of Bishop and Main Street. You probably pass it on the way to Newton's and never notice it. It's not very big, just to the side of the chapel," Ava said.

Will took over, with his flashlight still shining up in his face. "Eleven thirty. Be there. Bring a flashlight."

"Okay. Sounds good."

How was I ever going to get out to the cemetery at eleven-thirty?

After school, I didn't have to work so I went home and logged onto my notebook again. It turned out that Patrick's bike had been recovered from the lake, though it was in need of a little repair – to the tune of five hundred dollars. Brett's parents made him pay for it. I'm sure Pat felt that a lot harder than Brett did – a bruise for every dollar.

Aunt Madison and my mom went out to dinner in town that night so they could talk without prying ears, and I was left alone in the dark house. It took only three minutes of creaking before I had Jules on the phone to keep me company.

"Tell me I'm stupid for being afraid of this house," I told her.

"Are we scared of ghosts?" she asked with a snicker.

"Not really. I am more afraid that it's going to collapse on me. I'm not used to buildings that make noises." I leaned back in my chair.

"I love old houses. Did you ever go to Ellen's house? She's got the best place. It has a basement and an attic. I love it. We played hide and seek there all the time."

"We've got an attic."

"Oh man, Eepers, you have to go up there."

"I did already. To get a raincoat. For, you know, the rain."

"I'm thinking of coming down there for spring break," she said.

I thought this over for a minute. "You'll miss the Lake Games if you come here."

"I hate the Lake Games. You know the current temperature in Flathead Lake is like thirty-seven degrees. There are still pieces of ice by the shore."

"I believe that's the whole game, Jules."

"And I believe this is why I don't play, Ethan."

"Well we'll be glad to have you down here then. Instead of having the cold water at a safe distance away in a lake, you can have it falling on you all week long."

"Sounds like fun." She made a humming noise. I recognized this as her 'changing subject' moment. Usually it meant she was going to ask me something I wouldn't want to answer. "So status check, how are things with Bella?"

"She's been absent since my first day. Nothing to report."

"Oh that sucks. Did you add her? Or were you afraid to make Ava jealous?" I could hear her wry grin in her voice.

"She doesn't have a profile that I can find."

"Weird."

"I know."

She hmmed. "What about her model boyfriend?"

"Um…Edward. Edward Cullen."

Her keys clicked in the background. "C-u-l-l-e-n?" she asked.

"I think so."

She sighed. "He doesn't have one either."

"Double weird."

"Damn. I wanted to stalk him. It was going to be my new hobby."

I laughed.

There was a tapping noise at my window, and the room had been so quiet that I nearly jumped out of my chair. "Ah!"

"What?"

I spun around, but I couldn't see anything beyond the windowpane. It was so dark outside that my scared reflection stared back at me. He looked ridiculous, and then he frowned and shook his head at me. _Stupid, Ethan._

"It's nothing. I think." I walked over to the window and looked outside. The tree just to the side of the house was blowing in a strong wind. A branch tapped against the pane…again. "Just the wind. It's too quiet here."

"I wish I could say the same. The terrible twins are downstairs having a birthday slumber party. I'm surprised you can even hear me. I should probably go down there and make sure they're not killing themselves."

"Okay."

"I'll call back."

"Make it soon."

"Wimp." And she hung up.

I stared out the window at the sky. There was a bright half moon outside, but it was growing cloudy. Splotches of dark gray passed over the light. The wind rattled through the trees and across the yard I saw leaves from Aunt Madison's oak blowing into the street. Ha ha. Less work for me.

And then, after a few moments, there was the familiar pelting of rain.

On Saturday I got a ride to work with Aunt Madison. She wanted to talk the whole way there; I think she was trying to get me to "open up" or something. It was nice that she worried, but there was no way I was going to talk to her about my life or how much Forks sucked.

"Have you talked to your dad at all?" she asked gently.

"Nope." I leaned my head against the glass. The rain had held through the night, and it was still faithfully running down the side of the car as we turned onto Main Street. We stopped at a light and I looked ahead of us to see if I could spot the cemetery I was supposed meet everyone at that night. "Is the chapel up here?"

She laughed. "You getting married or something?"

"No. Someone mentioned it at school. Just trying to get my bearings, you know?"

Aunt Madison pointed up ahead to the corner two blocks down. "It's there. We'll pass by."

"Ah." As we approached, I could better make out the little building with its steep roof and cross. Sure enough, there was a patch of green beside it with old tombstones. There was a couple in front of one, turned away from me, huddled together under an umbrella. The guy was tall; he had his hand on the small of the girl's back. She was shorter than him, with long, tumbling brown hair.

Graceful hair.

I didn't even realize I was craning my neck around to watch them out the window as we drove past, but as we hit the middle of the next block, I could just make out her profile.

It was Bella.

She held a single rose up to her face for only a moment, and then set it down on the grave. I think her lips were moving, but we had gotten so far away that I couldn't be sure.

"Ethan?" Aunt Madison asked. "Did you see someone you knew?"

"No. Sorry. I just got distracted…"

Bella and the Cullens were back from wherever they had gone. They would probably be back at school on Monday. The conversations in my head picked up where they left off. I had exactly two days to figure out what I was going to say to her when I saw her again.

***

The store was just how I had left it on Thursday. But this was Saturday, so more people came in and Aunt Madison took over the register duties. I swept the floor and stocked shelves. At two, Ava stopped by to remind me about the Cemetery Tag thing. (Did she think it was a date?) She told me I looked good in my apron. But then, I told her, who wouldn't? She laughed.

Perhaps Ava would be a good thing for me. She wasn't going to be very much work. She looked nice, and _was_ nice and…

…_and I really couldn't give a damn. _

But really…who was I kidding?

I was mid-stock on aisle nine (Hunting supplies. Not weapons, though. I wasn't allowed near the weapons. I love stocking fake ducks. Mm, fun.) when Aunt Madison called out to me from over the loudspeaker. "Customer service to the front."

She had a line of two people waiting to buy new boots, and the guy from the other day, Jeremy, standing off to the side.

"Can you show this fellow where the dehydrated food is?" she asked. She smiled and patted his shoulder.

"Um, sure." I turned around and Jeremy shuffled behind me.

"Ethan, right?" he asked.

"Yeah."

We wound down to the last aisle in the store and I pointed to the bottom shelf on the left. "Should be down there."

"That stuff keeps well?" he asked.

"Um yeah."

"Cool."

"Did you need anything else?" I asked.

"A couple things, actually. If you don't mind waiting." He started rifling through the different options of the best chalk-tasting crap money can buy.

"I don't mind."

He picked about a dozen packets and tossed them into his basket. "I'm planning on a rock climbing trip. Do a little camping, see a little more than the beach, you know?"

"Sounds cool." I stood, waiting with my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah. I've never been though. My friends say I'm nuts. And my dad keeps reminding me of more and more things I need to buy that I don't have." He grabbed a handful more of the food packets and dropped them in his basket.

"What else did you need?" I asked.

"Rope? Rock climbing stuff? What are those clip things?"

"Carabiners?"

"Yeah, those."

He didn't really strike me as the most proficient rock climber in history. "You going with anyone?" I turned around and led him back out to the front of the store. We turned down aisle ten.

"No. Just me."

"You know what you're doing?"

He laughed. "Um. No."

"My suggestion would be to go with someone who knows how to do it before you try it on your own. A fatal fall from a cliff is hard to recover from, you know?"

He tossed a coil of rope and three carabiners in his basket. "You sound like my dad. I'll be okay. I'm resilient. I laugh in the general direction of death."

I shrugged. "It's your blunt trauma."

"You ever been rock climbing?" he asked.

"A few times. My dad likes to."

"You want to come with me?" he asked.

"Um. No. My _dad_ likes to, remember?"

Understanding dawned. He chuckled. "Ah. Alright then. See you around, Ethan."

"Yeah. See ya, Jeremy."

He walked back out to the front of the store and stood in line. I silently wished him luck with his trip, if only to keep the customer.

It was three more hours 'til we closed up shop. A few hikers came through, commenting on the nice weather we had briefly, and didn't buy a thing. Aunt Madison talked to every person who walked through the door like they were long lost friends or some distant relative she had yet to meet. She gave hugs and pats on the back, and when they left without a purchase, she didn't seem to mind.

On the way home I asked her, "Aunt Madison, why do you even keep the shop up? I mean it doesn't seem to do much business."

She sighed. "It meant so much to your uncle Joseph. It was his dream. He inherited it from his father who got it from his father before him."

"Then why isn't it called 'Marshall's'?"

"Oh, the Marshalls didn't always own it. I think Joseph's Great-Grandpa Jeff bought it from someone he went to high school with, or was it Katie? I don't remember."

"Oh."

"It's been around a long time. And we didn't want to change the name. Town knows it. Most of Washington knows it now."

"I see." I looked out the window.

She turned onto the wet highway. The rain hadn't relented all day. "And now Carter's gone to school and I'm going to be the end of the line I, think. We had a good run."

The uncomfortable silence followed us the rest of the way home.

***

At dinner, all Mom could talk about was how proud she was of my work. She genuinely loved the fact that I had a job. She even gushed over the green apron I had forgotten to take off and so arrived wearing.

"It has his name on it and everything!" she said.

Yes. It had my name on it and everything.

You would think I had found a cure for Boppox or had won the Nobel Prize. Oh well. If she wanted to be deliriously happy over something stupid like that, I would let her.

After we ate, I waited in my room by myself, still unsure of how to get to the cemetery. The only answer was to drive. It wouldn't be very much of an issue to get to one of vehicles without being seen. Both my aunt and mom had their keys hanging on a post by the door. And I was riding on mom's pride train – she wouldn't think to worry over something like this.

I did have a couple problems, though. One – it was illegal. Two – Mom's car was loud enough to wake up the whole damn silent house. Three – Aunt Madison's two-seater smart was stupid looking.

So…loud and cool? Or stealthy and stupid?

Because, after all, problem number one wasn't enough to keep me from trying.

I didn't forget the purpose of the night's activities.

Loud and cool it was.

They both turned in for the night around nine, and I wished them sweet dreams on their way down the hall. I stayed up on my notebook for as long as I could, drumming up my courage, telling myself there was no way I would get caught. At eleven I crept downstairs to find a flashlight. I didn't turn on any lights, for fear of waking someone up. I even turned out the light in my room and closed the door behind me as I fumbled my way down the stairs. I had to count in my head to make sure I had actually reached the first floor.

My heart was really loud in the stillness of the kitchen. And every cupboard I opened sounded exponentially noisier than the last. By the time I got to the cabinet above the refrigerator, they were screaming at me, EEETHAN! EEEEEEEETHAN!

But no one came downstairs.

The flashlights turned out to be under the sink. I grabbed the big steel one that I'm sure could double as a weapon if needed and walked to the door. My eyes had adjusted and I grabbed my mom's keys from the post. I slowly opened the front door and stepped out into the drizzle. I had Carter's coat to keep me dry.

The gravel crunched underfoot as I ran down to the curb. Even outside, the air was hushed. My breath clouded in front of me as I nervously tried to open the car door, and dropped the keys.

"Damn it."

Surely they had heard something.

But the house remained dark.

I opened the door and climbed into the driver's seat. I lowered my hood, put the keys in the ignition, and took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth.

I turned the key. Deafening explosions told the world what I was doing. The night was so quiet that her stereo seemed to be blasting music so loud I thought I was going to go instantly deaf. I flipped the knob all the way down and found my heart was racing in time with the music it had left behind.

But the house remained dark.

I pulled out onto the highway and flipped a u-turn to head back towards town. Surely my headlights would wake them. Surely they were just about to shout my name down the street, run after me in their pajamas.

Or, I thought as I started to speed up down the long stretch of asphalt, they're quietly calling the sheriff to hunt me down.

Distantly now, in the rearview mirror, the house remained dark.

Once I was around the bend, I allowed myself a silent victory. I had made it. I was king. I was amazing. Even if I really didn't want to go where I was going.

And then my headset sounded in my ear and I nearly drove the car off the road.

"Jules Appleby calling."

"Gah!" I answered. "Damn it, Jules. You're going to kill me."

"What? Where are you?"

"I am currently driving past darkness and darkness, on my way to scary darkness with crazy people."

"Translation?"

I sighed. "I'm going to play something called 'Cemetery Tag' with some of the guys from school."

"Ooh. No fair. And your mom is okay with this?"

"I kinda stole her car. She's sleeping. Don't tell her."

"Why, Eepers, you're turning into a rebel." She chuckled.

"I blame Forks."

"I like this place more every day. It sounds like some kind of paradise."

"It's not."

"How do you play 'Cemetery Tag'?" she asked.

"I don't know. Actually, for all I know, this is some sort of weird hazing ritual. I'm going to show up and walk out in the rain and no one's going to be there."

"Or they're there, hiding, and they're going to strip you down and take your car."

I played along. "They'll paint something like 'You're a Spoon' on my chest in red paint."

"And by the time you find your way home you'll sign online only to find that they had taken pictures of you, and you're known world-wide as 'Spoon Boy in his underwear.' Even the folks back here will shun you."

"Completely possible."

"Like I said, paradise." She chuckled.

I reached the cemetery by eleven-thirty-seven. I pulled around the block and parked it just beyond the field. I could see little circles of light bouncing around in the black. I grabbed the flashlight from the seat beside me and flipped up my hood. Game on.

"Okay Jules. I'm here. I see people. Hazing seems to be a no-go."

"Good luck then. Give my best to Ava."

"Shut up," I grumbled.

"Spoon boy." And she hung up.

I turned on my flashlight and shuffled my way through the wet grass to meet them. I wasn't sure if the game was already going, or if I was supposed to _know_ it was going…

"Ethan! Is that you?" Ava shouted from somewhere off to my left. I spun around and could only see darkness.

I began to head over to where I thought the voice was coming from. "Yeah. It's me."

A little circle of light flipped on and Ava's face appeared; she was sitting with her back against a tombstone.

"Um, isn't that kinda…disrespectful or something?" I asked.

One of the circles in the distance shouted, "Ava! You're not dead! Did you give up?"

"Ethan's here!" she called back. She brushed off her jeans, and my comment, and grabbed my arm. "C'mon. We'll start a new game."

My eyes adjusted and the short off-black stones started to appear around me. We wove around them to meet up with the others, all huddled in the middle of the cemetery with their flashlights shining on their faces.

"You made it," Nate said. Charlotte was standing beside him, looking a little ragged, but smiling. Aubree and Will were talking back and forth quietly.

"Yeah."

"How did you get here?" Aubree asked.

"I took my mom's car."

That seemed to quiet them a little. Will's eyebrows rose. "You can drive?"

"I can. I mean, I don't usually…but what my mom doesn't know won't hurt her."

He nodded. "I hear ya."

"So how do you play?" I asked.

"It's pretty simple," Ava said. "We all start out with our flashlights off, except for whoever is the 'Ghost.' They go around and try to find people and shine their lights on them. If you're caught by the Ghost then you're dead too, and you have to help find everyone else. Last one with light off, wins."

"So this is Hide and Seek," I said. "With flashlights."

"No!" Will said. "This is Cemetery Tag. Did you not see the cemetery?"

"Yeah…and why does this all take place in a cemetery again?"

"Because that's where you go when you die!" he shouted, shining the light in my face. "Bwa ha ha ha haaaa!"

_Okay…_

"And guess what?" he continued. "Since I won the last round, I get to pick who's Ghost. E, you get to be it."

_Oh goodie. _

"Okay." Instantly their lights turned off and they took off running.

"Close your eyes Ethan! Count to twenty!" Aubree shouted.

I closed my eyes and didn't bother counting. What were we, twelve?

After a couple moments, I opened my eyes and turned on my light. It was completely silent and utterly dark. I could see, but I couldn't see any of them. I walked through the graves with my light scanning the grass and my other hand in my pocket. It was freezing, and the drizzle was picking up a bit. I decided Cemetery Tag was stupid.

Off to my right, I heard a quiet giggle. I turned and ran my flashlight through the row of stones beside me. There was a foot peeking out behind one. I jogged over with the light pointed at the traitor toe.

"Dead," I said.

It was Ava of course. She smiled up at me and flicked her flashlight on. "Let's kill them all," she said.

I have to admit, once I had a little company it wasn't too horrible. We shouted out strategy as we ran through the rain. She showed me how to check behind the taller tombstones, where people would fit if crouched down. And soon we had tracked down everyone but Will.

"Will!" Nate shouted. "You won! Come out and pick new Ghost!"

"Come find me," his voice echoed.

All of our heads snapped over to the far right corner near the chapel where the sound had come from.

Ava linked arms with me and smiled. "C'mon. We should take him down a notch."

The five of us ran down to the corner. We scanned through the rows methodically, but didn't find him.

"Bwa ha ha haaa!" he laughed. It bounced off the chapel and into the open air. We all pointed our lights different directions. He wasn't in any of them. "Can't find me?"

"Will. This is dumb. You already won," Aubree said.

"Come out," Charlotte said.

The only response was another laugh. The party spread out again, unsure that he was in that corner.

But he was louder there. He had to be somewhere around that area.

I hung back. I double checked the rows again, and nothing. He snickered in the dark.

"I know you're here," I said.

"Prove it."

"I will."

"No," he said. "I'm Will." And he chuckled again.

But he was betraying himself. With each echoing word and laugh, I knew I was closer. Finally, as I stood at the very corner of the cemetery, I knew I was where he was loudest. With any step I took in any direction, he grew a little bit quieter. He should have been right where I was standing, beside the chapel wall and the first row of stones. But I was standing there, and you know the law – two objects cannot occupy the same space at the same time.

I shined my flashlight above me. There was a long tree branch stretching out from the forest behind the chapel.

"You're dead," I said, pointing the light in Will's face.

He laughed. "But I won."

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay!" he shouted. "Ethan found me!" He dropped out of the tree and landed beside me on the balls of his feet with a thud.

Heads turned, and they all gathered back in our little corner of the world.

"I'm impressed," Will said. "Rookies don't usually find me."

I shrugged.

"I'll let you pick the Ghost." He patted my back.

So I picked Aubree for it. She counted and we all scattered in the dark.

I enjoyed myself a lot more than I expected. For another hour, we ran around with our lights in the rainy dark. Ava's giggles sounded a little better as the night went on.

Nate was Ghost. As he counted, Ava linked arms with me and lead me down towards Main Street. We hid together behind a tombstone two rows in from the road, as far away from everyone else as we could.

With our lights off, we could hear better as Nate shuffled through the grass. He was headed towards the forest where most people liked to hide. Ava felt comfortable enough to talk.

"Do you miss home?" she whispered.

"A little."

She nudged my shoulder. "C'mon. It's more than a little, right?"

I shrugged.

"I can't imagine. Do you mind if I ask why you guys moved out here?"

"My dad's an idiot."

She nodded. "Ah."

She seemed to sense I didn't want to talk about it. We stared out in the street and I tried to think about something else. My thoughts drifted through my day. How similar life was here to back home. And at the same time, how I was possibly going to find a way to feel as comfortable as I was there.

"Work okay?" she asked.

"Um, yeah," I replied. "Actually, it's nice to have something to do during the day."

As the shouts and laughter picked up behind us, we grew quieter. We changed positions, turning around to kneel into a crouch so we could be ready to duck behind a neighboring tombstone if needed.

Ava pressed her finger to her lips. "Shh…"

I nodded and looked off to the stone to my right – a short rectangle with a name and inscription. There was something lying on the ground in front of it. I squinted in the dark, and my mind flashed back to the morning drive to work.

The couple by the tombstone, the graceful hair, the familiar profile.

And the single rose.

I stood and flashed my light over to the rose.

"Ethan!" Ava hissed. "What are you doing?"

"One sec," I replied absently. But the game was up and the circles were all headed over to catch us. I had given us away.

I heard her follow me over to the neighboring stone. She stood just behind me as I shined the light on the inscription. It read:

Charlie Swan

_1964 – 2027_

Beloved father

A chill ran down my neck, and beside me, Ava giggled.

The group had caught up and were all standing around us, mumbling complaints about ruining the game.

I turned back to Ava. "Do you know who Charlie Swan is?"

"That depends," she said with a smirk.

"On what?" I asked.

"Do you like scary stories?"

* * *

**Dun dun dunnnnn...**


	4. Chapter 4

**a/n: Sorry it's late. Had a lot of rewriting to do.**

**First, a shout out to my girls over at [t20s]! I love you all. (Cemetery Taggers Unite!)**

**Second, no cliffie this time, so maybe this weekend for the update.**

**Please enjoy. And pass it along if you like it. Thanks for the reviews thus far, I appreciate it.**

**Thanks to Project Team Beta for checking things over for me and killing commas. :)

* * *

**

Chapter 4

"Scary stories?" I asked.

Everyone was gathered around us. They hushed, trading knowing looks and chuckles. Will leaned against the tombstone with his own personal spotlight pointed at his Cheshire cat smile. Nate sat down on the grass just beside us and pulled Charlotte into his lap.

"You know…ghost stories?" Ava said.

I shrugged. "I guess."

She cleared her throat. "There are a lot of versions of this story. It's our own local urban legend, I guess. But I like to think that I know it pretty well – our great-grandma was around when it happened."

"Everyone's great-grandma was around when it happened, Ava," Will said. "It doesn't make you an expert on the old sheriff."

"Shh," Aubree said. "Let her tell it."

He flipped the flashlight in his hand. "Whatever."

"Well, like Will said, Charlie Swan was the sheriff here in Forks a long time ago. He lived alone; his wife had run off with his daughter when she was still very young. But when the girl grew up, she decided to come here to live with him. Her name was Isabella."

Will cut in again. "She moved here because her mom married the principal at her school back home."

"No," Charlotte said. "He wasn't a principal. He was a singer in a band."

"I thought he beat Isabella up, so she moved here to get away from him," Nate said.

Aubree shook her head. "It doesn't matter really, does it? Ava, go ahead."

"So she moved here and transferred to Forks High. She fell in love with this guy there and the two of them ended up getting married right out of school. It was this big to-do, and kind of a scandal. The whole town figured she was pregnant, but no one could prove it."

"If she was pregnant, wouldn't the baby be enough proof?" I asked.

"Well, what happened was, they went on some exotic honeymoon…and Isabella got sick. Something rare and weird. Sheriff Swan was really worried about her but he couldn't even talk to her. She was that far gone. They took her to the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta and everything. As far as the town knew she was getting the best of care, but not getting much better.

"And then Charlie's story changed. Suddenly one day he started telling everyone she was okay again. And that she and the husband were off to attend Dartmouth in the fall. They never came home to visit though, and they never spoke to any of their friends from school again.

"Charlie stayed in Forks as sheriff for a long time. He would always relay stories of how Isabella was doing, how the husband was. Everyone just figured it was one of those things, small town girl gets a taste of city life and never looks back. Mostly people were just sad that she wouldn't come home to visit her father.

"And then Charlie got sick. Cancer I think. He spent a long time in the hospital, getting treatments. Still the daughter didn't come to visit. No one did. And eventually, as he got worse, he grew delirious. Said she had been coming to see him at night when no one was around. That she was wonderful, and beautiful, and she would always be there for him.

"It was really sad. In the end, when he knew he wasn't going to make it, he asked to be taken home. He wanted to live out his final days in the place he had lived his whole life. So the hospital agreed, as long as he had a home care nurse to watch after him. There were a couple volunteers. Everyone loved Charlie and a couple of the nurses had even gone to school with his daughter.

"One night the nurse turned out the lights, locked the front door, and left for home. About halfway there she realized her wallet was still on the table in Charlie's kitchen, so she turned around. When she got there the lights were back on and she could see someone in the house through the front window. It was a girl with brown hair, pale beyond belief. And the nurse recognized her instantly – it was Isabella Swan."

"So?"

"So…she hadn't changed at all. She looked exactly the same age as the day she left for her honeymoon."

"Maybe it was her daughter…?" I asked as the chill spread across my arms.

Ava shook her head. "The nurse ran in, looking for answers. The door was unlocked, the porch light was on, but when she got inside there was nobody there. And Charlie Swan was dead."

For a moment no one said a word.

And then Will blew raspberries into the quiet and we all jumped.

"Will!" Aubree shouted. She slapped his arm.

"It's only a story," Ava said with a smile.

I nodded. "But it's a good one."

"They say his house is haunted," Charlotte said. "It's never been up for sale. I think it was passed on to Isabella but she never came to claim the title. Or something. I think some random corporation holds ownership now, technically."

"We went down there once," Aubree said. "The place never changes."

"Why would it?" I asked.

"I mean it never ages. The grass is always mowed; the paint never peels. But no one takes care of the place."

_Weird. Spooky. _

It was easy to get caught up in the mood, that eerie feeling that made us all whisper. It didn't really help that we were sitting in a _graveyard_ at well past midnight.

But my mind was racing on a slightly different topic.

Isabella Swan – with brown hair and pale skin.

Bella Black – who seemed to care. And also had brown hair and pale skin…

Surely there was some completely reasonable explanation.

I wasn't living in a ghost story, was I?

***

Sunday morning was not filled with accusations. But my mom woke me up at nine, way before I was ready to get out of bed. After I got home that night I had a hard time getting to sleep. At two in the morning I had no ability to rationalize any part of the story Ava told. I was convinced that Bella Black was a ghost, or I was delusional, or maybe zombies were about to climb their way out of the graveyard, angry that we had disturbed their peace with our stupid game.

Well, you get the idea.

Don't know when I actually fell asleep but I'm fairly certain I didn't get eight solid hours. I dragged my way down the stairs; there was a bowl of cereal waiting for me on the table.

"Ethan, wake up. How late did you stay up last night?" Mom asked me.

I groaned and shrugged. The chair was cold and the table was colder. I propped my head up on my hand and began spooning mush into my mouth.

"You shouldn't stay up so late."

"Mmkay," I replied through drooping eyelids.

"The front could use a little work today," she said.

My reply came out a little whinier than I intended. "Mom. It's Sunday."

"It's not raining so we should do the work while we can."

"It's still overcast," I countered. "It could start any time." And, as if to save me, the little tapping of rain picked up against the kitchen window.

Mom sighed. "Okay. Maybe next weekend then."

_Vindication!_

"Where's Aunt Madison?" I asked.

"Went into town to run some errands. She should be back in a little bit."

After I ate I went back upstairs and took a shower. It helped to wake me up and made me feel a little saner. That's the thing about the day – you have to realize that things like zombies and ghosts just don't exist. Bella Black was just a girl at school. Perhaps she had an interest in Charlie Swan for other reasons. Maybe she was a distant relative, or had a fascination with long lost members of the Forks police force.

In any case, I knew I wasn't going to have any trouble sleeping that night. I had reassured myself enough that I could let it go a little. Sure, I was still curious. I wanted answers but wasn't sure how to find them. I wasn't even sure what the right questions to ask were.

I spent an hour or so wasting time on my notebook. I did a half hour of math and had just started my reading for government when Jules called.

"Yep?" I answered.

"So how was the date?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "It wasn't a date. It was a group thing."

"I looked for naked pictures of you this morning, but found nothing. I was kinda disappointed, actually."

"You want to see me naked?" I asked.

"Ew. Get over yourself."

I laughed. "You said it, not me."

"Oh, Eepers, we'll have our day. Just not today." I knew she was winking even though I wasn't there to see it.

"Whatever, Jules."

"So I gather you survived unscathed. How was it?"

I shrugged. "Not bad, I guess."

"And thoughts on Ava?"

"Not bad, I guess."

"Progress is a beautiful thing."

I gave her the play-by-play of the game and how in the end, I thought I was probably going to get along with the group. I did not tell her the ghost story however. I couldn't make myself admit how wrapped up I was beginning to get in the potential history of Bella Black. Telling her would make it a real problem.

Not to mention she would probably make fun of me for it. I could hear her mocking me in my head, _Ghosts, Eepers? Really?_

And it felt good to have a secret.

***

At two o'clock a truck arrived in front of the house. From my bedroom window I could see my mom sign a notepad for the driver and another guy begin to unload boxes onto the front porch. She shook the driver's hand and thanked him for his time. The other fellow finished stacking everything under the overhang, safe from the weather. There were probably ten boxes there.

This did not look good.

Mom walked back into the house and almost immediately I heard, "Ethan! Can you come down for a minute?"

_Ugh. _

When I got downstairs, Mom's eyes were raw and her nose was pink. She cleared her throat.

"Can you help bring the boxes in?"

"What is all this stuff?" I asked.

"Its just some of our things from back in Polson. I asked Tiffany to go by and pack up for us."

"Oh," I replied.

_Back in Polson. Not back _home_._

It was then that I noticed the small red disc she was holding. I think she saw my eyes flick to her hand – she quickly closed her fist around it.

Divorce papers.

"Where do you want me to put it all?" I asked.

"I guess the attic for now. I can go through it later if I need anything."

"Ok."

I silently got to work, hefting the boxes one at a time up the rickety ladder. Mom busied herself in the kitchen, turned away to the sink or oven any time I passed by. I was careful not to complain, she was teetering on a very thin edge and I didn't want to push her over.

I could feel the reality of the situation sinking in – I was staying in Forks. I would graduate from this school. I would go to senior prom with Ava. I would work in Aunt Madison's store…indefinitely. I was going to _live here._

You might say, "Hey, Ethan, you're dumb. You _moved_ there. Of course you were going to live there." And you would be justified in saying that. But there is a difference between _thinking_ your parents are splitting up which means you'll have to abandon your whole life for some new random podunk town, and _knowing_ it.

I put the last box in the attic; sat on the floor there. I stared at the pile of all our possessions and realized I wasn't ever going back to Polson. This was home.

And I didn't want to think about it.

So I let myself think about something else instead.

_Why on Earth would Bella Black care about Charlie Swan? _

If I wanted to, I could have called up Jules and set her to hunt down the real story of Isabella Swan on the Internet. She was much better at that sort of thing than I was. But this was _my_ mystery, and I didn't want to give her any ammunition. I would just have to find it all by myself.

I stood up and brushed the dust off my pants. I had some work to do downstairs. The Internet is a very big place and there were probably a thousand people named Isabella Swan. It was definitely going to take me a while to figure it all out.

Unless…

_"Everyone's great-grandma was around when it happened, Ava," _Will had said. "_It doesn't make you an expert on the old sheriff."_

A box in the middle of the row across from me called out in big bold type, '_Grandpa's Yearbooks and School Trophies.'_ Why hadn't I thought of it before? Was I an idiot?

Maybe Carter's great-grandparents were around when Charlie Swan died. More importantly, maybe they knew Isabella Swan.

There was one way to find out.

I walked over to the box and pushed the button on the side to unlock it. I lifted the lid. There were a couple basketball trophies, an old yellow tassel, a medal for second place at a science fair, and four yearbooks in a stack on the side. Graduating classes two-thousand and two through two-thousand and five.

Forks High is not a very big school and they were not very big yearbooks. I made quick work of the first three. I didn't waste time with any of the activities or clubs pictures, I skipped to the 's' section of each of the classes, but she wasn't there.

In two-thousand five though, I found her.

She was a junior, a petite brunette with a pale complexion and a heart-shaped face. She smiled for the camera, but it didn't quite touch her eyes.

And while there was a certain difference I couldn't put my finger on, it was unmistakable – Isabella Swan _was_ Bella Black.

"Ethan!" Mom shouted, and I jumped. "Are you coming down?"

"Just one sec!" I called back. Feeling like a thief, I tucked the yearbook under my shirt and closed the box up again. I climbed down the ladder and dashed into my room before my mom could catch me. I didn't open the yearbook again. Honestly, I'm not sure why I kept it at all. What was I supposed to do with it? Take it to school, show it to Bella, and demand answers? Yeah, right.

I tossed it into the darkness under my bed. That's where ghosts belong, after all.

***

The next day on the rail, I rationalized with myself. There was just no way the two girls were the same. And, I told myself, the fact that she visited that grave only helped to prove that she was related. They were distant relatives. Bella inherited a lot of the same genes and the name to go along with it. The more I thought it over the stupider I felt. Isabella had brown eyes. And Bella's eyes…well, they weren't brown.

I would just walk into government, sit down, and realize what a fool I'd been. I'd gotten what, one class with her, where I looked at her from the corner of my eye? Yeah, I was an expert on Bella Black.

Ava took the seat beside me. I was staring out the window and she nudged me to get my attention. "Where are you today?"

"Sorry," I replied. "Just spacing out."

"I was just asking you how the rest of your weekend went."

"Oh, fine," I said. "Chores mostly."

"Ah."

"Hey Ava, when did you say Bella Black moved into town?"

She sighed. "Last year. A couple months before the Cullens, actually."

"Where did she live before that?"

"Um, somewhere back east. It got too expensive, I think. They moved here so Jake could support them better. He runs a mechanic's shop in town."

"Oh. But I thought he was married to one of the Cullens?"

She nodded. "Edward's cousin. Don't ask me what her name is; I can't pronounce it. She's older than Edward, and she met Jake when she was visiting, or something. Fell in love and they got married. She lives here with him on the rez now. If you ask me, it all happened a little fast."

"Doesn't Bella's brother feel awkward that his sister is dating someone related to his wife? Isn't that like…incest or something?"

She laughed. "It's not incest but it's definitely weird. But they don't seem to care what anyone thinks. And she and Edward are completely in love. You should have seen the first day they saw each other across the cafeteria. It was like real live love at first sight, I swear. I could practically hear the cheesy music underneath their googly-eyed staring. I think they'll be together well past high school. They're almost never apart."

_ Subtle, Ava. Very subtle._ Though I guess I wasn't being very subtle either.

I decided to give her a break. "Cemetery Tag was fun."

"I'm glad you made it. You impressed Will, I think."

"Somehow I find that difficult to believe," I said.

"You did. He praised your driving skills after you left without crashing."

I turned back to the window. "Oh. The car thing."

"He's obsessed with cars. He has a countdown clock on his profile to the day he can take his driver's test."

"Well I will take what I can get, I guess."

The silence took over for a couple minutes and from the corner of my eye I could see Ava turn to her sister who was two rows back on the other side. She was shaking her head.

And then she asked, "Do you dance, Ethan?"

_Dear God, here it comes…_

"Not often," I replied.

"There's a dance coming up in a couple weeks, and Will, Aubree and I were just going to go together – you know, a group thing. But I thought you might be interested in coming along too. Because three's a crowd and all that."

This was the moment. I had to decide now if I was going to accept my fate or try to cringe away from it. And, facing facts, no matter what was going on with Bella Black, there was no way I was getting in _that_ front door.

"Sure," I replied. "Sounds like fun."

***

Despite my reassurances to myself, I found that I was a little more than nervous when I got to school that day. And I didn't wait behind to try to catch Bella arriving as I had the Friday before. I ducked through the rain to class as soon as the rail came to a full and complete stop. At least I knew from that last Friday that I had plenty of time to worry before lunch. Those slow clocks I had groaned at before were now my best allies.

And then the day went by about as oppositely from Friday as it possibly could. The clocks seemed to be in some sort of competition with each other, trying to make the current class run faster than the one just before it. Five minutes before the lunch tone sounded, the dread had piled itself so high that I seriously considered skipping out on the lunch crowd altogether, maybe eating alone in the rain.

But I would still have to face her in Government.

_No_, I told myself, _I just have to see her once so I can stop being paranoid about stupid, crazy urban legends. _

So the tone rang through the room and I made my feet take me in the direction of the cafeteria.

Ava was already there, and Charlotte. Their presence was comforting. I peeked across the room, I saw a certain table was empty, and the relief was so strong it was embarrassing. Will and Aubree joined us shortly after and I allowed myself to laugh with their jokes, to smile and nod along.

And then they came in.

_Damn it._

The little one and her boyfriend walked in first, followed by the burly one with his arm around the tall blonde. They found their way to the lunch line, grabbed food and sat down in the corner table. After a few moments, Bella walked in alone with a small smile on her face that didn't seem to hide the concern in her eyes.

And I felt two things nearly simultaneously.

First, hope. She was without the 'googly-eyed' love. Without him in the picture maybe I…

And second, complete and utter terror. The beat in my chest picked up to a gallop.

Because there was no reasoning with myself, there was no way I could deny or shrug off the connection I had seen in the yearbook. She had, without a doubt, the same face, the same hair, the same expression as Isabella Swan.

"E?" Will said. "Did you hear what I said?"

I turned my eyes away from her. "Um, no, what?"

"I said you should take me out for a ride sometime. What do you say?"

"Um, sure." My racing heart wouldn't quiet. I wiped away a prickle of sweat at my hairline. "Whatever."

She had joined the group at the table and they were all laughing now, all traces of sadness erased from her eyes. Did she know I was watching?

_Don't be ridiculous, Ethan._

_But we're talking about dead people here. Walking amongst the living. _

_She's not a ghost. Get over yourself. And stop talking to yourself, too. It's crazy. _

_Okay. _

There was one thing that got to me – if she was a ghost, wouldn't it be kind of hard for her to touch people? Hard to sit in the chair she was in right then? I tried to think back to if I had shaken her hand when we met or if we had brushed past each other at any point that day. I was coming up empty.

She sat with her hands folded in her lap. She wasn't eating. She wasn't picking anything up off the table. She nodded along to whatever conversation the other four were having.

All I really wanted her to do was prove me wrong – reach across and take a sip of the shorter girl's soda, steal a bite of the burly one's food. I spent so much of my attention just willing her to do something, anything, to show she was alive, that I lost track of time.

The five-minute warning tone sounded and everyone in the room stood up. I lost her in the crowd. Was I going to miss it?

I hung back, watching everyone exit. I made a show of gathering my stuff, going through my bag to make sure it was all there. And as Bella and her friends walked out the door, I breathed a small sigh of relief. The lean guy reached over and put his hand on her shoulder as he spoke. She nodded in reply.

The world was right side up again.

Beside me, Ava cleared her throat. "You going to class or what?"

We were the only two left in the room, and she had caught me staring.

"Um. Yeah."

"Mind if I walk with you?" Her voice was a tad acerbic.

"Not at all."

I shifted my bag onto my back and we started out the door. We both donned our hoods before hitting the weather. Ava shoved her hands in her pockets. "Listen, Ethan, I feel it's my responsibility to help you with a problem I am not sure you are fully aware of."

"Oh?"

"Bella Black has a boyfriend."

"I heard that."

"And, no offense, but I'm not sure you pose any kind of competition to him in that regard."

"I'm not—"

She held up her hand. "Ethan, I have watched every single guy at this school think they were the one for her. Not one of them ever had a chance. And most of this went down _before_ Edward came along…"

"Okay."

"I am just trying to save you some heartbreak," she said. We had reached building three and I was probably late. Oh well. Ava needed this; who was I to deny her the moment? "Sometimes I think the guys at this school are so delusional. They only want her because she's off limits. I'm pretty sure it's even worse with Rosalie. They just don't try anything too overt because Emmett's so big they fear their lives.

"But you, you can be saved from all that. Just stop. Now."

"It's not like that, Ava," I said. _Well, it's not exactly like that…_

_Okay, she kinda has a point. _

She pressed her lips together and nodded. "Okay. Fine." She turned abruptly and jogged off into the rain.

"Ava!" I shouted. She didn't stop, didn't even pause for a moment. She turned around the side of building seven and was gone.

I sighed. _What a mess. _

I gathered my wits and walked in to class. As I stepped inside, the whole room looked up at me. Mr. Barrett stopped his lecture; his hand paused mid-sentence on the display.

"Thank you for deciding to grace us with your presence, Mr. Powell. Take a seat. Quickly."

I nodded and shuffled through the rows to that last available spot next to Bella, trying to disregard the little shiver that was running through me as I sat down. Mr. Barrett picked up the lecture again and I got out my notebook. I was going to dutifully ignore the distraction beside me and be a model student for the entire hour.

"Pst…" Bella said. "Ethan, right?"

I could feel my face flushing. I was going to have to look at her directly. "Um. Yeah."

"I was wondering if I could bother you for notes from the days I was gone?" Even in the brief moment I looked, Isabella's image reinforced itself in my mind. And I started making comparisons. This version was prettier, paler. Like a glacier had passed over the girl and in its travels had smoothed over all the rough spots. Blemish and freckle-free, but too much the same.

"Oh. Sure," I replied. "Not a problem. After class?"

"Okay." But the eyes were not brown.

_Distant relatives, _I repeated in my mind.

I couldn't help my heartbeat picking up again, no matter how relieved I was that she was alive. There was something about her that made me sit uneasy with myself. Something so fundamentally _wrong_ that I was stupid to not have noticed before.

Or maybe I was the fundamentally wrong one. Nobody else seemed to notice or care.

It was a bit frustrating.

When the tone sounded for the next class, I was wrapped up in my head and had forgotten Bella's request. I closed up my notebook just as I felt a hand on my arm.

"The notes?" she asked. Damn, she was cold. I could feel the chill of her hand through my sweater.

"Um. Right." I opened the notebook back up and started hunting through my files for the notes I had taken the week before. She waited with her notebook open.

"Did anything particularly exciting happen while I was gone?" she asked. Her voice was light, sweet, perfect.

"No. Not really." I found the file and clicked it to transfer. "Where did you go, if you don't mind me asking…?"

"Went on a hiking trip with the Cullens. We like to get out when the weather's nice."

It was a simple, normal reply I hadn't been expecting. "Oh. Fun."

"Yeah. We have a good time." She smiled, the gold in her eyes glinting.

The notebook was done and we both started to pack up our things. "You know, I work down at my Aunt Madison's place. I could probably get you a discount, if you ever needed anything."

"Newton's?" she asked with a laugh. "That's really nice of you, Ethan. Thanks."

We both stood and picked up our bags. "No problem." I followed her out the door. There was something about the way she walked that sped up my heart once more.

Outside the door, waiting for her, were two of the Cullens – the short brunette and her boyfriend.

"Hey Alice," she said. "Jasper. Time to go?"

Alice nodded. "She's waiting out front."

"Okay." She put her hand on my shoulder for a moment. "It was nice talking to you, Ethan. Thanks again for the notes."

I nodded and smiled, my breathing relaxed. She was a nice girl. I was just a paranoid fool. Of course there was nothing wrong with Bella. And I realized I probably could be friends with her if I could stop being stupid. Even Alice and Jasper looked like nice people. She wasn't scary at all.

They walked outside and ran down to the silver car that was waiting for them. The woman behind the wheel was not familiar and I noticed they only had the one car that day. Jasper didn't join them. He walked over to the bike rack and unchained a sleek, red, half-motored thing on the end. I didn't even want to know how expensive it was.

Alice, Bella, Rosalie and the big guy got into the car and pulled away. Jasper followed along in his bike.

Yep, nice people. All of them.

* * *

**Comments? **

Yes? No? Maybe? Drop dead?


	5. Chapter 5

**a/n: How I love my [t20s]. If you are a Twilight fan, and in the twenty-year-old age bracket, you should join us at www[dot]twilight20somethings[dot]com. We have the fun. And we play virtual cemetery tag.**

**Now I have to preface this chapter with a disclaimer - every once in a while I write something that makes me giggle uncontrollably. This chapter has a specific scene, won't say which, that every time I even think about it, I start giggling. And I'm not sure it's because it's all that funny. It just may be because I'm all that crazy. So please tell me what you think.**

**Thank you goes to Project Team Beta for watching my words for me. Thanks, guys!**

**Peace, love, and waffles to you all.

* * *

**

Chapter 5

What was I thinking? Really?

By the time I got home that night the peace I had made with the Cullens seemed to have evaporated. I had no idea why I had been suddenly okay with Bella and her ghostly skin and bizarre resemblance to a girl who had died at least a hundred years previous. It just didn't make any sense why I would be so suddenly certain that they were new-found friends. And that kind of scared me a little bit.

I don't know if you have noticed, but I have a tendency to get a little obsessed about some things. So when the all-is-right-with-the-world feeling was gone, I ran up to my room and fished the yearbook from underneath my bed. I flipped ahead to Isabella's picture and stared at the face, trying to convince myself that it was someone else.

But it wasn't.

When I'd had enough staring, I moved over to the notebook on the desk and called up my search engine. I typed in 'Isabella Swan' in the box and watched the list of pages run on and on.

Too much information.

So I tried a better tactic – 'Isabella Swan Forks High School.'

This list was shorter – the first three were stories similar to the one Ava had told me, from different local publications. There was a link to a very old school transcript in the Forks High database, but the moment I clicked it, it told me I wasn't allowed access from my account.

'Isabella Swan Dartmouth' gave me more pages to hunt through but, surprisingly enough, none of them had anything to do with a girl from Forks that I could tell. And the mentions of her name in articles to do with Dartmouth College didn't have any pictures to prove that she was the one they were talking about. Not to mention the ones that had dates attached to them were not at all the right period of time to be her.

I shook my head and shut the notebook. I was really bad at this.

"Ethan!" Mom called. "Dinner's ready!"

"Down in a sec!" I replied. I threw the yearbook back under the bed and exited all the random pages I had open with her name on them. I jogged downstairs. Aunt Madison was already at the table and Mom was pulling a chicken out of the oven.

"Hey kid," Aunt Madison said. "How's homework going?"

_Homework? Hah. _"Fine."

"Did you have a good day?" Mom asked. She set the chicken down on the table and took the chair next to me. "Getting along with the other kids at school?"

"Sure," I replied.

"I heard from Mrs. Banner that there was a dance coming up…"

I scooped some corn onto my plate. "Mm hm."

"Were you planning on going?"

I shrugged. "Maybe."

"Were you going to ask anyone in particular?" Mom didn't look at me as she asked. Yes, she was very nonchalant.

"No, probably just go with the lunch group I hang out with."

She nodded. "Oh, okay. Do I get to meet any of your new friends? Maybe we should have a party…"

"Um, maybe not just yet, Mom. Still getting settled in and stuff."

"I just want to help you out Ethan. I wanted to make up for—"

I cut her off. "Jules was talking about coming down at some point. Would that be okay?"

"Of course, Ethan. That would be wonderful. I just worry that you need to start making friends _here_ and—"

"Mom. It's fine. I promise."

She sighed, surrendering. "Okay, okay."

"You know, Ethan," Aunt Madison said between bites of salad. "I hear a lot of the kids like to hang out at the little café in town on Friday nights sometimes. If you wanted a ride down there one of these weeks, I'd be glad to take you."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. "I'll let you know, Aunt Madison. Thanks for the offer."

Thankfully, the conversation turned to something that wasn't my social life. The two of them started to discuss how best to move my Mom's practice down to Forks. I focused my attention on cutting my chicken into appropriate-sized pieces before putting them in my mouth. Dying of asphyxiation in a town like Forks would really be embarrassing.

After dinner I called Jules to vent. Probably the exact wrong person to whine to, but she was all I had.

"I'm just so done with this whole place," I said. "I'm done."

"You mentioned that." I could hear the clicking of keys in the background.

I was lying on my bed with the yearbook open to Isabella Swan's picture again. "I just hate sitting there at the kitchen table with Aunt Madison and Mom pouring pity onto me. Like they have to fix my life because Dad screwed things up for everyone."

"I'm sorry your life is such a failmess, Eepers. I really am. But you have to be a strong little boy and buck up, kiddo."

"I hate you."

She laughed. "No. You love me."

"Shut up."

I tapped my finger on the page in front of me. A lot of the other students had clubs and activities listed under their names – yearbook, basketball team, astronomy – but Isabella Swan had nothing. She had no life.

Jules hummed. "So I heard there's a dance coming up at Forks High."

I groaned in reply and shut the yearbook.

"Hm. He's going to the dance."

"It's a group thing," I said.

"Ava doesn't seem to think so."

_Damn it, Jules._ I stood up and went back to the notebook on the desk. "What did she say?"

"I wasn't talking to her, I swear it. I only _stalk_ people in your life, I don't actually make my presence known."

"What did she say, Jules?"

"I just might have been following a conversation between her and the sister – who looks a lot like the evil twin version of her, by the way…"

I clicked over to Ava's profile and scanned through her conversations section. "She _is _the evil twin version of Ava."

"Anyway…you seem to be leading her on."

"I am not leading anyone anywhere. Did she say that I was?"

"Have you _looked_ at Ava?" Jules asked.

"Of course I've looked—"

"Have you _talked _to Ava?"

"Yes. I talk to her—"

"Then, in girl-world, you are in love with her. Obviously. Or you're leading her on. Obviously."

_Obviously. _"But—"

"What I want to know is…what did you say to her to make her go from 'he loves me' to 'he loves me not'?"

"I don't know, Jules. Evidently I know nothing of your kind," I said.

"Well you must have said something. Yesterday it was puppy love, today it's venomous."

I had no idea what she was talking about. I couldn't find anything about me in her profile. "Where are you getting this?"

"Um…"

"Jules."

"I might have stumbled onto her messages folder. Accidentally."

_Accidentally_. _Right_. "Jules."

"Can't we move past the part where you tell me I'm a bad girl, and get to the part where you ask me what she said in the message anyway?"

"Fine. What did she say?"

Jules giggled. "She said you were an incorrigible ass."

"Wow. She's not fooling around with that one."

"Kind of a classic. Made me like her a little more."

"I bet," I said.

"So why did she say that? What did you do?" she asked.

I sighed. "It wasn't a big deal."

"You _did _do something! I knew it!"

I closed my notebook. "Really it was all a misunderstanding."

"Isn't it always?"

"Yes."

"Eepers. Story. Go."

I groaned and picked up a pencil from the desk. I twirled it in my fingers as I spoke. "I was looking for something in my bag at the end of lunch. She was waiting for me and I didn't notice. When I was ready to go, I looked up and saw Bella."

"You were quote, 'staring at Bella,' actually. But continue."

"Whyask me if you _already know what happened_?"

"Just wanted to hear your side of the story."

"Well that's my side. She took it out of context. Really." I flipped the pencil in the air and caught it.

"Okay. Fair enough."

There was more clicking in the background.

"Well I'm going to go to bed," I said. "Try not to obsess over my nonexistent love life, okay?"

"Sure thing."

_Right. _More clicking. "Night, Jules."

"Incorrigible ass." And she hung up.

***

Ava did not sit by me on the rail the next day. After my three steps forward, I had taken two steps back. I wasn't sure if I was even welcome at the table with them for lunch anymore.

And then there was the issue of my dead end on all things Bella Black. (Dead end? Get it? I'll be here all week. Be sure to tip your waitress.) The night before I had realized at some point between awake and asleep that I needed help if I was going to unravel the mystery that had consumed me. I needed to know more about her. What she did after college, what profession she went into… I just didn't know where to find that information. And now I had alienated the one person I thought might be able to answer my questions.

I looked over to Aubree and Ava, two rows behind me on the left. Aubree narrowed her eyes at me and turned away.

_Good job, Ethan. _

The rail dropped us at school. Ava walked past, refusing to acknowledge my presence. Will, on the other hand, caught up to me as I got halfway across the parking lot. He threw his arm around my shoulders.

"E, you have a way with the ladies, let me tell you," he said with a laugh.

"That's what I hear," I replied.

"Listen, I'm going to give you some advice. And I really think it would be advantageous to your health if you took it."

"Okay…"

He tucked his hair behind his ear with his free hand. "I hate to admit it, but I've been in your shoes. I, too, have held a candle for a girl who was out of my reach."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't like her. I swear."

"Bella Black is a good looking girl. Everyone knows this. It's not shameful."

"Will, really—"

"My point is – move on. It's not worth it. It doesn't matter if her hair flows like water and the one time you stood close to her she smelled like a gentle breeze from a field of flowers. It doesn't matter if she's the most graceful thing on Earth. It doesn't matter if her name is like poetry and all you want to do is repeat 'Renesmee' over and over again until…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked. Certainly not Bella Black.

He didn't even pause to take a breath, "…you die from the beauty of it. None of these things matter. What _matters_ is she's _married. _And kinda old. Oh, God, that doesn't even really matter. What matters is it's _never gonna happen." _

"Okay…"

"Glad we had this talk." He slapped my back with his palm. "Play nice with Ava, 'kay?"

"Sure."

"Good man." And he ran off in the direction of building two.

***

Will must have said something to Aubree, or Ava, or the both of them, because at lunch they didn't attempt to shun me from their table. Will scooted out a chair for me with his foot. The chair happened to be next to Ava, and I glared at him for a moment to let him know I wasn't too keen on what he was up to.

I didn't allow myself to even glance in the direction of the Cullens' table. I could see in my periphery that it was occupied, but I wasn't going to add any fuel to the fires I had started. I focused my attention on the bowl of clam chowder in front of me, and my speculation as to where the clams had come from.

And then I wondered if Charlie Swan had left behind clues to his daughter's life in the house that never aged. And I wondered how strong the lock on the door was.

"Beach is gonna happen," Will announced. Aubree made a sound that was halfway between a hiss and a sigh. "Sorry darlin', you knew it was coming. It had to happen."

"And when exactly do you plan on this 'beach trip'?" Ava asked.

"It's clearing up by the end of the week. First sunny day that hits, we're taking the rail down to the First Beach stop and getting off. C'mon."

"I'm in," Nate said.

"Yeah, me too," Charlotte said. "Sorry, Aubree."

"E?" Will asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied. "If it's not a workday for me. I'll go."

"Ave?"

"Whatever," Ava replied.

"Traitor," Aubree said.

"Good people. Aubree can't sulk forever. She's coming. You know it."

"I'm _right_ here, Will," Aubree said. There was a shuffle under the table and a thumping noise.

"Ouch!" he shouted. "Yeah. But you know it's true."

"Yeah. I do." Aubree smiled.

The five-minute warning sounded and I cleaned up my meal faster than ever before. I tossed my bag over my shoulder and headed straight for the door without a look back.

Outside in the rain, Ava called out to me, "Ethan!" I paused and waited as she caught up. "You in such a hurry to get to Bella Black that you can't wait for a friend?"

I sighed. "I wasn't trying to—"

A little smile broke on her face. "I know. Sorry. I couldn't help it."

"Listen, Ava, I know that somehow I have found a way to make you mad at me. But I want you to know that I really didn't mean to…"

She nodded. "I know. It's okay. I just…" Her face flushed and she stared down at her feet. The silence stretched on. "I just don't like that girl very much, I guess. No, that's not really true. More like I don't like the effect she has on guys." She chuckled nervously.

I couldn't argue with that. "Fair enough." We began to walk forward, shuffling towards my class. "Listen, I have a favor to ask you. And you are completely free to tell me no. Really."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Well…the thing is, I liked your story the other night. You know, the one about the sheriff?"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah…and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind showing me his house…"

"You want to go to the Swan place?"

"Yeah." I shrugged. "You piqued my curiosity."

"When should I tell the gang we're going?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No gang. Just us. It can be our secret."

She blushed again. "Just us, eh? Okay."

"After school tomorrow?" I asked. "I have work today and Thursday. And evidently a possible beach trip on Friday."

"Alright. I'll have to come up with something to ditch Aubree. Hmm…" She thought it over for a minute. "I should get to class. We'll talk more on this tomorrow."

"Sounds like a plan."

"See you tomorrow, Ethan."

"See you." Either I had done something great, or something very, very stupid. Well, I would find out soon enough.

I walked up the small stair to building three and hung my coat inside on the rack. Bella Black looked up at me when I got inside. She waved.

My heart started to pick up its pace.

"Hey," I said as I took my seat.

"Hi," she replied. Her lips were a very deep red that seemed a shocking contrast against her skin. "Thanks again for the notes. They really helped."

I stared at her blankly for a moment until she looked away to Mr. Barrett. Only then did I find my voice again. "Um. No problem."

I was going to have to find a better way to talk to Bella. I couldn't go to pieces every time we had a conversation. It was just sheer luck that Ava wasn't in this class.

_I'll just have to find a way to _not_ look in her eyes when she's talking to me. _

_ Yeah, and then she'll punch me in the face._

Mr. Barrett droned on about the primary functions of state government versus local government. And I tried my best to pay attention, which, of course, meant I remained completely obsessed with Bella instead. She didn't shift in her seat once. She was utterly still, save for the quiet clicking of her keystrokes on her notebook that blended into the chorus of the room. The longer this went on, the weirder it seemed. She didn't itch anything, didn't twitch, she didn't sniff…

So, during the hour, I developed a new theory – Isabella Swan had gotten a degree in Electrical Engineering from Dartmouth. As her thesis she created a robot in her likeness in order to live on forever. It would explain so much – the cold skin, the bizarre light in her eyes, the perfect way she moved. Why she changed the name to Bella Black, I didn't know, but that was small potatoes compared to the fact that–

And then she coughed.

_Okay, maybe not a robot. _

_ Or maybe the world's _best _robot. _

I was being ridiculous.

When the class was over, things went a lot like they had the day before. We picked up our things and walked out – not together really, but not entirely separate either. She struck up a conversation again as we wove through the aisle.

"Hey, do you know my brother?" she asked.

"Your brother? I don't think so…" I replied.

Jasper and Alice were waiting by the door for her again. I felt the tension in my muscles melt away. I had no idea I was standing up that straight.

"Hey. I don't think we've officially met. I'm Ethan." I smiled and held out a hand to Jasper.

Alice looked at him. He shook my hand.

"Nice to meet you," he said, cold and businesslike. He nodded once.

I smiled a little wider.

These guys were really swell. Why hadn't I been talking to them every day? They were the kind of people you just wanted to be friends with. The kind you felt really comfortable around, the kind who listened to your problems and really cared.

"Oh. His shop isn't far from Newton's, so I thought maybe you had seen him at one point," Bella said. "His name is Jacob."

"Someone mentioned that to me once. Nope, don't think I have seen him." I looked down at the shorter girl. "And you're Alice, right?" I reached for her already waiting hand. It was really cold. Really, really cold. But in a good way. Refreshing almost.

"That's me," she replied. "We should probably get going, Bella. Edward's waiting back at the house."

Bella nodded and started to put on her raincoat.

"You mean Bella's boyfriend, Edward?" I asked. "Where is he? How come he's been out of school?"

"He's just a little under the weather. He'll be back soon," Bella said.

"Oh. Probably the same thing Charlotte had. Tell him to take his vitamins."

Bella laughed. "I will."

"Or you could just ditch him and go out with me sometime." I gave her my best debonair smile. She was bound to say yes. Right?

Bella's brow puckered for a minute and she looked over at Jasper.

"We should go," Jasper said.

The smile faded. _What the hell am I doing? _

My confidence started to wane.

I held back as they walked down the stairs, watching them grow more and more distant. The rain had picked up during class, and eventually they disappeared, swallowed into the sheets of gray.

And my stomach dropped through the floor.

_What the hell did I_ justdo_? _

I had asked Bella to leave Edward for me. Edward. The model-man. The perfect person.

For me.

I looked down at my jeans and blue-gray sweater that had a logo from a rafting company back in Polson; it was a size too big and hung on me. My shoes were caked with mud at the bottom and I was wearing mismatched socks.

_GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…_

I grabbed my coat and walked out into the rain. I had to catch the rail before it left or I was going to be late for work.

***

Normal people don't go shopping in the rain. In Forks, you have no choice.

There were a few customers that afternoon, mostly in to buy new coats or boots. But it wasn't enough traffic that I was needed to run the second register, so Aunt Madison had me dry mop the floors, because she couldn't afford a machine to do it. She couldn't afford anything to do anything, it seemed. Which is why she had me.

As I worked, I thought about Bella's friends, and Bella herself. Aside from the enormous waves of embarrassment I felt over the incident in the doorway, I realized that there was something that bothered me about them, too. But it wasn't really anything I could put my finger on – because every memory I had of them was encased in this little bubble of confident happiness. Of comfort and well-being. I looked back on it with fear, but I couldn't make myself fear them in the moment, no matter how reasonable it would be to do so.

_Maybe Aunt Madison is putting something in the food…_

Near closing, Jeremy walked in the door. His coat was hanging over his shoulders and he had his arm in a sling. He waved to Aunt Madison and walked back to the dry goods section. He grabbed a dozen packets of food with his good hand and came back up to the register. I walked up to meet him.

"How did the rock climbing go?" I asked.

He gestured to the arm and said, "You tell me."

"Not well it seems."

"Yeah…not well. But it was definitely a learning experience." He handed Aunt Madison his card and she packed up his order.

"What did you learn?" I asked.

"I learned that I have no idea what a carabiner is supposed to do. And that gravity is a bitch."

I nodded. "She is a cruel mistress."

"I'm gonna head over to the diner, wanna come?" he asked. "You can tell me what I did wrong."

I looked over at Aunt Madison who was ready with his total. "Thirteen-seventeen, dear."

"Can I, Aunt Madison?" I asked. Oh yes, I looked awesome, asking for permission from my aunt to walk somewhere that was probably within a three-block radius.

He handed her a twenty and she made change. "I guess so. You'll make it home okay?"

"I can get the rail."

"Fine by me." She had a grin on her face reserved for motherly laughter at your expense when you left the room. I knew she was going to call my mom the minute we left and gush to her that I had actually made an actual friend. "You go ahead, I'll lock up."

"One sec," I told him. I ran the dry mop to the supply room and came back with my bag and raincoat. I waved to Aunt Madison as I left.

I had no idea where the diner was, or even that we had one, really. I followed his tall figure through the rain, down the block. Neither of us said anything, the rain was too loud against our hoods for conversation. He turned a corner and I could see the glow of a sign on the corner in the distance.

The diner had five booths that lined the front wall and four tables out in the open space. None of them were occupied. There was a counter with stools as well; we headed for two of them in the middle.

"So what happened?" I asked.

"Problem was, the rocks were really wet. You know, all the rocks around here are really wet."

"Where did you go exactly?"

He looked at me from the corner of his eye and then down at his arm. "You know Hunger Mountain?"

"No. But you could have said anything there and I wouldn't have known it."

"Well, yeah. The other problem was I don't think I tied things right. I fell a ways and landed on my arm. Dislocated my shoulder. Damn near broke it."

"Ouch."

"You don't even know," he replied. "But I heal pretty quick. I'm gonna try again as soon as I'm able."

"What about school?" I asked. As I looked up at him, I realized he didn't much _look _like a high school student. He looked more like a high school.

"Oh I do that, too. Sometimes." He smiled. "Senior year. It's all bullshit anyways."

"Right. I'll have to remember that."

The waitress came by and took our orders. She seemed happy that we were there, perhaps to kill the boredom and quiet. He got a slice of apple pie with ice cream and a hamburger and shake (plus the implied order of fries) – asked for them to come all at once. I got a tuna sandwich, and when his smorgasbord arrived I was just worried that I would only be able to eat half of mine.

"So, Ethan," he said with a mouthful of meat and bread, "How's Forks treating you so far?"

"It's not the worst thing I have ever experienced."

"That bad, eh?" He chuckled. "Yeah. I hear ya. I can't imagine living here forever. Some people do it."

"I'll probably leave after high school," I admitted.

"Good to hear." He shoved a handful of fries into his mouth. Luckily, he chewed and swallowed before he spoke again. "Some people go and come back, though. How in the hell do they do that? I mean, who would ever want to come back to this God-forsaken town?"

"It's not _that_ bad," I said. I started to actually eat, and realized I didn't like tuna sandwiches. Or maybe it was watching him eat that made my stomach turn.

"It is. Trust me. Get gone when you can and stay gone. Go someplace warm."

I nodded. "Okay."

"And the girls at your school? They any better than the ones we have?"

I shrugged. "A couple of them are not too bad."

"Yeah. But untouchable, probably."

I sighed. "Most definitely."

"It's the way of the world, my friend. The way of the world."

We ate in silence for a while. He somehow managed to wipe every plate clean and still had room for the mint on the tray when the check came. I asked for a box. Maybe Mom would like it.

We paid and walked back outside. He gestured to a bike that was chained to a streetlamp on the corner. "That's me. I guess I will see you around, man," he said. "I'll probably be in for food again sometime or another." He chuckled.

"Sure."

"Thanks for keeping me company. Don't let gravity get you, eh?"

"You do the same."

He donned his hood and jogged down the sidewalk.

He never did ask me about rock climbing.

* * *

** I can't decide at this point if I am Team Ethan or Team Will. What about you guys?**


	6. Chapter 6

**a/n: Thanks for all the reviews and support from everyone. It really means so much!**

**My dearest Lindsey has made some awesome Canon-themed icons. Somehow I will get them on my profile. For now...I guess pm me if you're interested.**

**Not my favorite chapter ever, but stuff had to happen before other stuff happened.**

**Apologies for the cliffie. Updates this Sat/Sun hopefully.

* * *

**

Chapter 6

All I could think about on Wednesday was the fact that I had asked Bella out. And that I had to face her at school. And that it was completely possible that Edward would be back and she would have told him and that he would come after me and…

…bad things would result.

I invented dozens of scenarios – you know, instead of actually paying attention in my morning classes – all of which ended with me beaten to a bloody pulp. Sometimes it was outside in the rain walking to building seven for Calculus, sometimes he came to interrupt History and the teacher didn't seem to mind, and sometimes he followed me home to attack me in front of the only family I had.

It was a little distracting, to say the least.

So it wasn't 'til lunch that I even spared a second thought to my upcoming visit to Charlie Swan's house. Edward was still absent and that was enough to let me stop quivering in terror as I sat down to eat. I continued to quiver in nervousness, because Bella and the other Cullens were there, but not so much that anyone noticed but me. I think.

Ava sat next to me and, in keeping with our 'just us' clause of the trip, whispered, "Still on for today after school?"

I nodded into my soup. "Forty-five, right?"

"Yep."

That was the long and short of our talk on the matter. Will yammered on about the beach trip, and it was sounding like Friday was definitely the day we were going. I asked if I should bring my swim shorts and was laughed at. Because of course you don't _swim_ in the _ocean_…dummy.

Stupid Forks.

Ava patted me on the back and said, "Common misconception. Don't worry about it."

Then what the hell were we going to the beach for?

As the end of the lunch hour approached, the nervousness turned into dread. I was going to have to actually face Bella in class and I really, really didn't want to. I thought about skipping, but that was almost worse. The idea of being absent – after being obviously _there_ at lunch – and having her realize that she was the reason I was gone, that I couldn't even face her after the incident the day before…

No, the better thing to do would be to show up and keep my head high. I could do that, right?

Right?

Yeah, right.

I could show up at least.

So I did.

I didn't say a word to her when I stepped into class. I didn't wave hi or even nod my head in her direction. She did the same. I was glad I didn't have to talk about it, but it would have been nice to have her openly ignoring our awkward conversation – a cheerful hello, a 'how's your day going?' or even a 'you're not an incorrigible ass in my book, Ethan.'

And if wishes were horses…

If silence was all I was going to get from the roboticzombieghost-girl, then silence was what I would take. We spent the class studiously ignoring each other, or at least pretending to. She was still again. But every two minutes she would make some movement that would make her seem a little more human. Though even that was bizarre – choreographed fidgeting.

When the hour was up, she rose fluidly from her chair and walked out of the classroom faster than anyone else. She didn't want to linger. She didn't _want_ me to talk to her.

Fine then. I wouldn't talk to her.

Ava waited beside the door for me (see, Bella, I matter too) and talked to me as I put on my coat.

"I'm gonna tell Aubree that I have some research to do at the library. If you take the rail now, I should be pretty close behind you."

"Sounds good," I replied.

"Okay. And…you're not telling your mom where we're going or anything, right?"

"Oh, no. It's fine though. I told them I would be home later than usual because I was working on a school project."

She pursed her lips. "Okay. See you down there, I guess."

"Yeah. See you."

***

Rail stop forty-five was a little south of the school. The fog was still heavy and when I stepped down from the stair I got a few looks from the other students still waiting inside. They knew where I lived. This was not it.

I trusted Ava would be along shortly to guide me the rest of the way, so I sat down on the bench by the rail sign.

"Hey Ethan!" Ava called. She was riding up on a bike, blue and silver. She stopped in front of the bench and climbed off. "You been waiting long?"

"No. Just got here."

"Good." She pulled a chain from her bag and locked the bike to the rail bench. "C'mon."

"Tell me how many miles first."

"Not even one." She pointed down the road. "If it wasn't so foggy, you'd be able to see it from here."

"Okay." We started down the asphalt. In the beginning it was just the sound of our footsteps muffled by the weather.

Then she asked, "What made you so curious?"

"Hm?"

"About the old sheriff?"

"I dunno. I like a good story," I lied. "And I've been a little bored at home. I guess it's an excuse to get out."

Her mouth turned up at the corner slightly. "Right."

"So. Anything else to the guy? Anything you didn't mention in the graveyard?"

"Hmm…" She put her hands in her pockets. "Every year on Halloween, _someone_ goes as Isabella. Usually a freshie who has just heard the story for the first time." She chuckled. "Will went as her last year, actually."

_I wonder what Bella thought of that. _I laughed.

"I know, right?" Ava said. "Will is bizarre."

"That he is."

"Um…what else? Some people swear that they've seen the house lights on at night. Or music coming from her bedroom." Ava rolled her eyes.

"You don't believe them?" I asked.

"It's just stupid people trying to sound cool." She nudged me with her elbow. "You don't believe any of it, do you?"

"Like I said, I'm just curious."

The house, quite appropriately, came out of the fog. None of the lights were on. There was no music coming from anywhere. But the lawn was leaf-free and mown – it looked better kept than Aunt Madison's place – and it looked as though it had recently gotten a fresh coat of paint. The darkness behind the glass of the front windows was disturbing. The kind of black that was empty, hollow. My feet froze in place.

"Well, this is it. What are you waiting for?" she asked. "Don't you want a closer look?"

I nodded absently, staring into the hypnotic blank windows. Ava looped her arm around mine and led me up the brick driveway to the porch. There was a hush to the air around us; I could hear Ava breathing next to me. The wooden planks of the stair creaked under our feet.

Ava held a hand over her eyes and peered into the window beside the door. I was too afraid to even touch it.

"Well, what do you think? Should we knock?" She laughed and banged on the old screen door twice. "Hello!" She called. "Is anyone home?"

"Ava!" I hissed.

"What?" She bumped her hip against mine. "Ethan, don't be silly. No one has lived here for _decades_. You aren't letting all the ghost story nonsense get to you, are you?"

I gathered the courage to peek through the dark glass beside the front door. The living room was still furnished, but with white sheets over the sofa and chairs. They didn't look dusty, though. And the corners were clean and cobweb-free. The coffee table was empty; no vases or dishes with candy. No books to browse, of course. The only items in the room were a row of pictures lined up on the mantle. They were mostly of a little girl growing up through school. The last picture in the row was hard to make out, but from the black and white the figures were wearing I guessed it was the wedding. I couldn't make out the faces to see if it was Isabella. I couldn't tell who the groom was.

And then I remembered…Isabella Swan _got married. _

No wonder I was having so much trouble finding out what happened to her after high school. Her name wasn't Isabella Swan anymore. How dumb was I?

"Ava, who did Isabella marry? The guy who went to school here…"

She thought for a moment. "You know, I never asked. He's such a minor character in the story…his name just never was mentioned. I could ask my mom, though."

"Yeah. Find out for me if you can."

"Okay…"

I continued to stare into the living room. Ava turned around and sat down on the porch.

"Do you know where her bedroom is? Do you think we could see inside?" I was feeling braver by the minute and I even jiggled the handle to see if it would open. No dice.

"Don't know which one is hers. Probably on the second floor somewhere," Ava said from below me.

I turned and went back down the driveway to get a better look at the top half of the house. There was an old bare tree growing up to touch one of the windows on the second floor. I wondered if it would support my weight.

Probably not.

Or I'd fall and break myself in the process. Bad idea.

Ava sighed. "Well, I guess I better get home."

"Wait, what?" I asked. "Why are you leaving?" I walked back to the porch and sat down beside her.

"Well you wanted to see the house – here's the house. If you're planning on breaking in, I don't think I want to be around for that part. You don't really need me anymore, do you?"

Ah.

"Don't say that," I said.

"It's the truth." She wiped her nose and looked away up the road.

"I didn't mean to make you think…" I ran out of words.

Ava looked back at me; her eyes were flushed around the edges and the tip of her nose was pink. I don't think it was the cold. "Ethan, what do you think of me?" she asked.

_Now there's a question with no good answer if I ever heard one._ "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" She swallowed. "Do you like me?"

I shifted on the stair. "Um. Sure."

"I thought when you wanted to come out here, just the two of us…" She shook her head. "I'm an idiot."

"I don't think you're an idiot," I replied. She pulled her hood up and looked out to the street. I pulled her hood down again. "Hey, look at me."

Yep. She was crying.

Great.

She wiped her face quickly, trying to hide the tears before I could see them. Yeah, right.

"It's okay, Ethan. If you don't feel anything for me, it's really fine. I mean, Bella's got a boyfriend and everything, but if you want to go after her, then great. More power to you. Maybe then I'll have a shot at Edward." She chuckled bitterly.

"I _don't _like Bella_."_ I almost growled the words. I wasn't sure how many times I could say it before I strangled someone. Didn't people believe me? I guess that was really what made me angrier than anything else – that they all decided it wasn't true. I wasn't sure I believed myself, but I figured this was the decision I had made, and I was going to stick to it.

She blinked the last few tears away and tilted her chin downward to look up at me through her eyelashes. "Prove it."

Gulp.

She leaned forward and closed her eyes. Her chin lifted slightly. She got closer. Closer. Closer. Was I backing away unconsciously? Maybe. I don't know. But it seemed like an eternity had passed and we still weren't touching. I had to make a move.

I had to let it happen.

I leaned into her and our lips met. The kiss was out of control before it even started.

She reached up to my hair and was tugging it as her tongue slipped in my mouth. Her other hand found its way to my shirt to pull me even closer. I could feel my body temperature rising to uncomfortable levels in my raincoat.

And what did I think of all this?

C'mon, let's be honest. I'm a guy. I'm seventeen. I thought it was kinda awesome.

And when she finally let go of me and leaned back, she had a new kind of pink to her face. I liked this one a lot more. She smiled, accomplished, and aware of the fact.

There was something about that look on her face, and the way her hair hung a little over her left eye. The way her lips looked fuller now, and how I had something to do with that.

"I have wanted to do that since I saw you in the grocery store that first day," she said. "So there it is. I've laid my cards on the table."

I nodded. "Yes. Yes you have."

"And what do you say?" She was back to being nervous. Her hands twisted the edge of her jacket.

I smiled. "I think…I think there's no harm in trying."

"You sure know how to romance a girl, Ethan Powell." She giggled and leaned over to kiss me again.

I could hear the distant sound of a speeding car, tires against wet asphalt.

_The hell?_

I broke away to look at the road just as a silver sedan burned by us, glinting through the fog. The engine revved as it passed.

Ava was waiting.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly.

She rolled her eyes. "Boys and cars. I will never understand the fascination."

***

When I got home that night, I was done messing around. I knew I was ready to burn the mystery to the ground. I no longer cared about figuring it out on my own, and I had a weapon waiting in the wings. I just wanted to know so I could stop thinking about it and move on.

"Ethan, is that you?" Mom called as I opened the front door.

"It's me," I replied. I hung my coat on the rack by the door and kicked off my wet shoes.

"Did you eat?" She was in the kitchen, wiping off the counter. "There's some leftover meatloaf and salad."

"Great."

I reheated the food and sat at the table. I could feel Mom's eyes on me as she worked her way around the room, cleaning. When I couldn't take it anymore, I cleared my throat and asked, "Was there something you wanted, Mom?"

"No. Nothing at all." She was grinning. Like she knew something. Damn small towns. I wish I knew the mileage per hour on gossip in Forks. It was probably pretty high.

I abandoned my food completely. "What is it?"

"Aunt Madison told me about your friend."

"My friend?" _When did Aunt Madison see me with Ava? Was that her in the silver car?_

"The guy…Jeremy? She said you two went out for food after work yesterday."

Oh. That friend. "Ah. Yeah, we did."

"And who is he? Did you want to invite him over some time? You guys hanging out regularly? Does he go to your school?"

"Woah, slow down, Mom. He's just a customer that likes to go rock climbing. I was talking to him about that." Well…not really. "It's no big deal."

"Okay. I'm sorry, Ethan. I just get excited at the prospect of you making friends. I get so worried…"

I sighed. "Got it, Mom. But I'm fine. I swear."

"I know." She nodded. "But if you ever want to bring friends over on the weekend or after school sometime, just go ahead. Maddy said it's totally fine—"

"Okay. Will do." I picked up my plate. "I think I'm going to take this upstairs. I have some homework to do."

"That's fine, dear."

Once in my room, I opened my notebook and put on my headset. Between mouthfuls of meatloaf, I rang Jules.

"Why it's the Don Juan himself," she answered. "Ethan Powell, ladies and gentleman, a round of applause."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked.

She affected a high, sing-song voice, "'He's just the best kisser in the world. You don't even know. I feel like I'm living in a dream, Aubree.'"

I'm pretty sure I was a deep shade of red. I groaned. "Jules. New topic. Now."

"Why? This one is _so good." _She burst into a fit of giggles.

"Because I refuse to talk about this to you. And if you don't get something new to talk about, I will hang up this phone."

"Oh…Eeeeeperrrs. You are no fun."

"And promise me you will not start talking to her over the Internet. No divulging life-long secrets. And no calling her my girlfriend. She's not my girlfriend."

"Yet."

_Gah_. "Stop."

"Fine. For the record, this is the second best day of my life. Only ranking after the day you beat Alex in the water-ski event at the Lake Games and he had to wear footsie pajamas to school that Monday. But if you want to ruin that statistic, go ahead and tell me what you would rather I talk about."

"I want you to do me a favor."

"And now he's asking for favors. First he kills my fun, and then he goes asking for favors."

"Here's the deal – there's this old ghost story around town about a girl named Isabella Swan. I have tried to figure out who she was, what exactly happened to her, and it's been impossible."

"Why do you care?" she asked.

I hedged. "Mostly it's a curiosity that has gotten out of control. It's the pickle jar I just can't get open."

"Okay."

"Hunt her down, Jules. Find her for me. Please?"

"I'll do my best." I could hear her keystrokes picking up in the background.

I let out a sigh of relief. It would all be over soon. "Thanks, really."

"But you owe me." More clicking.

"Sure thing," I said. "You don't know how much sleep I've lost over this. It's really kinda stupid. I just want to stop thinking about it."

"So stop thinking about it," she said. And then she paused. "Hm."

"What?"

"I just…hm. I thought I found something but it was a dead end – deleted or something. Let me make sure I'm spelling it right. Isabella? Like I-s-a-b-e-l-l-a?"

"Sure."

"And S-w-a-n?"

"As far as I know."

"Hm," she said again. "This is gonna take some work, Eepers. Give me a couple days, I think."

"What?"

"There's some sort of…I don't know. I would call it a firewall, but it's more like a firewall with razorblades and shooting arrows. It's gonna be a bit before I can get around it."

This was new. "Okay."

"I'll talk to you later."

"Okay," I replied. "You will call me when you have something?"

"Sure thing."

"Night then."

"Lover boy." And she hung up.

***

Thursday was another day full of anxiety. Only this time I got to worry about what Ava would say and do when I got to the lunch table. What were we? Not a couple. Not a not-couple. There was no word for what we were and that was a big problem. Because Nature abhors a vacuum.

When she didn't opt to sit next to me on the rail, I took it as a good sign. She did blush when I waved to her in passing, though. She took the seat next to her sister, two rows back.

Aubree knew what had happened at the Swan house, but did Will? Did Nate or Charlotte?

These were things I wanted to know, but also didn't want to know. So I worried through my classes again. I was probably developing ulcers or something. I certainly wasn't passing Calculus.

And when the lunch tone sounded, all my nightmares came true in the span of ten minutes.

Ava was waiting outside my door with a tiny smile and her backpack.

"Hey," she said softly. "Thought you might want some company on your way."

"Um. Sure," I replied.

We didn't get very far before I saw them, walking hand-in-hand across to the cafeteria from the other side of the campus. He didn't notice me, or he was too busy noticing her, but he was very much _there_. And I knew by the way they walked, the way he pulled her hand up to kiss it gently, that he had to know. She must have told him. I don't know how I knew this, but I was certain theirs was the sort of relationship where you didn't keep secrets.

So Edward was back.

Which meant it was only a matter of time before my face and the brick wall were the very closest of friends.

Meanwhile, Ava was trying to make conversation.

"So about the dance coming up. You know…originally we were doing a group thing, driving all together, but I thought it might be fun to go just the two of us and meet them there."

"Mm-hm," I replied. I was staring into the space just beside Bella and Edward. Partly because I couldn't help myself, and partly because I wanted to make sure I was paying attention to him if he suddenly came at me like a madman. But I didn't look directly at them because I didn't want to get caught staring again. I had learned my lesson.

"Oh good," she said. "I wasn't sure what you would think of it all. But I'm so glad. Do you have a suit? You know it's a formal, right?"

"Mm-hm." Bella and Edward met up with Alice and Jasper. Jasper held the door for them and they disappeared into the cafeteria.

"Perfect," she replied. "What color is it? It's not one of those brightly colored ones that were in last year, is it? Because I always thought those were just kinda stupid."

"Mm-hm," I replied. I was now staring at the orange door of the cafeteria. It was growing bigger. We were almost there. We were going to make an entrance. People would turn to see who had just come in. And then Edward would pick me up by my neck and throw me out the door.

"Ethan, are you even listening to me?" she asked.

"Mm-hm." I didn't even really know anything about the guy. He could be a pacifist for all I knew. But his brothers didn't look so much like pacifists.

And then it was the three of them in my mind, rushing at me. The biggest one could probably crush my skull between his hands if he wanted.

"No, you're not. Where are you? Ethan?" She shook my arm and we paused just before the door. Thank goodness.

"What?" I asked. "Sorry. I was kinda lost in thought."

She shook her head. "Ok. I can take a hint. I'll dial down the dance talk."

Oh. The dance. Was that what she was going on about? "It's okay."

"And I want you to know that I haven't really told anyone anything. I mean, we're not really 'official' or anything so…well, are we?"

"Um..."

"That's what I thought. Well, that's okay. I mean…I would like to go out just us sometime though. Would that be okay with you?"

"Well, sure. If there's anything to do, just us, around here."

"There's a theater in Port Angeles," she suggested.

"A movie?" I asked. "How quaint."

"If you haven't noticed, we're a quaint sort of town. C'mon, let's go. I'm hungry." She opened the giant bright orange door.

_Here goes nothing. Just don't look at him; maybe he won't notice you. Maybe she didn't say a word. Yeah, right. They're probably all talking about it right now. And laughing. And planning my demise. _

Everyone was there, already seated and mid-meal, which made our entrance stand out even more.

_Great._

Ava dropped her bag at our table and went for food. I wasn't that far behind, but I couldn't find an interest in me for lunch. I picked a package of saltines from the soup cart and ginger ale.

_Now that I have sufficiently flaunted myself around the room…_

"E!" Will exclaimed. "Oh wait. You're working today, right?"

I nodded. I took the open spot between him and Ava. "Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday."

"Bummer. Nate and I were going to go to the café in town. We were hoping you could drive."

"Why?" I asked.

"Why not?" He laughed.

I wanted so badly to look over at the Cullens' table just to see if Edward was smiling and happy or brooding in my general direction. But I couldn't gather the courage to look because knowing my luck, the moment I did, he would be staring me down.

"Will just wants to look good in front of all the girls who hang out there," Aubree said. "And he was hoping you driving him would help his chances in some way. What he doesn't realize is that the girls shun him for his general appearance and cleaning habits."

"Girls do not shun me. They worship me."

_I wonder how much a punch in the face hurts. I wonder how long it would take to heal. If he broke my jaw I would probably have a good excuse to go back home…_

The bright side was hard to see.

"You wish," Aubree said. "It's a pointless trip anyhow. Nate's taken."

"Yeah but E could use some action. Eh, E?" Will jabbed me in the ribs with his elbow. I jumped.

"Huh?"

"Space case. Wake up," Will said. "What's wrong with you?"

"Just tired, I guess."

Ava and Aubree exchanged a look. Aubree swooped in to save the day.

"So I guess I'm going to officially tell you I'm going on the stupid beach trip to the stupid beach where all the stupids live."

"Thanks, darling," Will replied. "I knew you'd come around sooner or later. You'll have a good time this time. I promise."

"You can't promise that," she said. "Not really."

"Well, we'll all do our best, right?" Will hung his arm around her shoulder.

"Whatever," she replied.

I finally stole a glance at the table in the corner. My eyes flicked over for just a half second – just enough time to help me feel a little better. They were talking, but no one was looking my way. And while he didn't look _happy_, he wasn't really angry either. The six of them were just talking.

I let myself relax a little.

When the hour was almost over, I started to clean up my "lunch" a little early. I was taking all the precautions I could. If I made my way to class a little sooner than usual, I could probably avoid all things Edward Cullen. He was bound to pass me at some point if he was walking her to class, because he seemed like the kind of guy who would do that. So this was the only sure way I could think of to steer clear of him.

Ava noticed me packing up, and started to do so herself. I guess I had company.

"You taking off, Ethan?" Will asked. "We still have like ten minutes."

"Yeah, I have to go over some notes before class starts. I have a suspicion of a pop quiz."

"Ava?" Will prompted.

"I was late yesterday, just want to make sure I'm not today."

"Okay…" Will nodded and gave a knowing smile. "You kids have fun."

_Great. That'll get the rumor mill going. _

Ava followed me out of the cafeteria. She didn't say a word until we were out the door.

"What was that about?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Like I said, possible pop quiz."

"Okay..."

We walked in silence through a light drizzle. When we were almost to building three I looked behind me. The distant cafeteria doors were still closed. This was a good thing. "Well, what do you think about the movie?" she asked. "Maybe sometime this weekend?"

"It's possible," I replied. "I have to work on Saturday, though."

"After. Port Angeles is open later than Forks."

"Ok. Sounds good." We walked around the corner to get to the entrance. I turned around and stepped backwards a few steps so I could see her reaction. She was blushing again.

"Good," she replied. And then her eyes went a little wide. Someone behind me cleared their throat.

I slowly turned around to see who it was, and I could feel the color draining from my face. _Of course. Makes sense. This was to be expected. _

_Damn it. _

"Ethan, right?" Edward said. He was sitting on the small stairway in front of the door. "Could I talk to you for a minute?"

* * *

**Ooooohhhh.... ;)**

**Question for the reviewers: What do you think of Ethan/Ava?**


	7. Chapter 7

**a/n: Sorry it took this long. Life happens. Mickey mouse happens. Random family visits and check engine lights happen. Life goes on.**

**Thanks go out to my lovely new beta, Azbella! She was a marvelous help. *applause***

**Thanks also to all of you out there in reviewerland. You seriously rock my world and make me want to keep going.**

**Today I am Team Aubree.**

**This one is dedicated to Nae, because she asked, and Lindsey, because she told me not to say.

* * *

**

Chapter 7

_He wants to "talk" to me? Right... _

_Dear God. _

"Um. Yeah. I guess so," I replied.

Edward stood from the stairway and lightly brushed off the side of his pants. He was a good four inches taller than me, and from what I could see through his sweater, not lacking in the muscles department. Not that I was staring at his chest or anything. I just never noticed how big he really was, I was always too busy noticing how big his brothers were.

He looked over at Ava for a moment, but didn't say anything.

He didn't want her here for this. Great.

Ava shifted her weight and looked back and forth between the two of us. "Well, I should be off to class."

_Deserter. _"Um. Okay…" I said. I pleaded with my eyes for her to stay but she didn't seem to catch the hint. No witnesses meant a better chance for more damage. _Damn it. _

There was one last awkward moment where she stood there, unsure of what to do to end the conversation. Hug, or not to hug? No. No hug, Ava. _No_ _hug_.

"I'll catch you later, Ethan." She turned around and walked off to class.

_Good girl. _

"I don't think I got a chance to introduce myself. I'm Edward, Bella's boyfriend. She's in Government with you?" As if I needed a prompt. As if he really thought I didn't know _exactly_ who she was.

"Sure. I know Bella. She's mentioned you," I said. "Listen, I don't have huge amounts of time before class starts." I looked behind me to the cafeteria. The door was still closed. No witnesses.

"I know," he replied. "I won't keep you long."

I put my hands in my pockets to keep them from trembling. "What's up?" I asked.

"Bella mentioned to me that you work down at Newton's. Is that true?" he asked. His eyes were on something behind me in the distance, and for this I was grateful. I don't think I would have been able to reply if he had been staring back at me.

"Yep."

"Have you had a chance to see much of the town?" he asked. Polite conversation? He didn't seem angry at all, but she had to have told him everything. Maybe he just wanted me all comfy before he hit, so it would be more painful and surprising. You know, because it's more fun that way.

"Not really. I mean I go to work every other day. I see whatever's out the window on the way. Had food with a friend down at the diner. But that's about it." _And the cemetery tag insanity. And you at the cemetery with Bella. Why isn't he asking me about Bella? Doesn't he even _care_ that I hit on his girlfriend? "_Why do you ask?"

"Is your mother's car running well? I heard it was a rather old model."

_Now he wants to talk cars? _"As far as I know. She hasn't complained about it."

"You know Bella's brother has a shop on Main Street…" He looked at me then. He was obviously referencing the conversation I had with Bella right before I went insane and asked her out. My heart started to beat a little faster.

"I heard," I replied.

He was toying with me.

"Oh, did Bella tell you?" he asked. "Okay. Well, if your mom ever needs it looked after, Jacob can do wonders with almost anything on wheels." He was still staring at me. I looked back at the door to building three as casually as I could manage.

Did he want a confession? A prickle of sweat broke through at my hairline.

_I did it. I asked Bella out. So what? It's not like she said yes. It's not like I molested her or anything. If you're gonna beat me up, you better do it before the teachers come out that stupid orange door. You don't have much time. _

"Sure," I said.

He stood there, watching me for a moment, and then he nodded. "I'll see you around, Ethan."

Veiled threat if ever I heard one. "See you."

There was a distant noise, and the lunch group began to pour out into the courtyard. He put his hands in his pockets and walked off towards the crowd.

He had wasted his chance and ran out of time. And he knew this. So much for cat and mouse.

I walked up the stair, still shaking a little from the encounter. I looked over my shoulder to see him say something to Bella briefly and give her a kiss on the forehead before walking toward building seven. He was muttering something to himself as he disappeared around the corner.

_Yeah, you're a dumbass, Edward. _

Not that I was going to let myself be alone with him…ever again.

Bella was heading my way and I turned back around quickly. And I realized that I spent far too much time trying not to be caught staring at people.

I took my seat in the corner and pulled out my notebook. Students filtered in, talking, laughing. All I could do was hope that Ava would keep up her routine of waiting for me outside after class.

I wondered if Bella held some sort of bitter taste in her mouth from the incident. Maybe she didn't really like me anymore. Perhaps she was happy to let Edward pound me into the ground. Or maybe she was indifferent.

Or maybe he stopped himself because she told him to leave me alone.

Bella walked in, fluid and graceful. I tried not to watch the dance she did as she avoided crashing into a couple students. The girl tripped on a bag in the aisle way and fell into the guy's arms. Bella just jumped backwards delicately and laughed to herself. The boy and girl were sorting out the contents of their spilled bags, blushing and stammering at each other in the process.

Bella suddenly looked up at me. All traces of the smile gone.

I swallowed.

The smile returned, along with a small wave. She found a different path to get to her seat.

"Hey, Ethan," she said. "How is your day going?"

"Um. Fine," I said. "Yours?"

"Nothing to complain about." She pulled her notebook out of her bag. "Edward mentioned that he got a chance to finally meet you."

"Um. Yeah. Just a bit ago."

"Mm-hm?"

There was more to this question? "He seemed concerned for the welfare of my mom's car."

She nodded. "Yeah. He's a little bit of a car-nut. It's one thing he and Jacob have in common, which is good."

Mr. Barrett cleared his throat at the front of the room. I turned my eyes up to the man and she seemed to take the hint. After a moment I could hear the soft clicking of her keystrokes.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, its that season," Mr. Barrett announced. "Pop quiz time."

_Well how do you like that? _

Mr. Barrett went to his computer and brought up a quiz on our notebook screens. Notes were locked, and I stared at the screen, completely unable to think of the first answer. Which wasn't completely surprising because I had nothing of any use in the notes anyhow. I hadn't been up to speed in the class pretty much ever.

I was going to fail this one big time.

I sighed and clicked a random answer. The next question appeared.

E, because Ethan just doesn't belong.

A, because Ava likes him anyway.

B, because Bella is…something else.

E, because Edward will kill me today.

It was going to be the strangest set of answers Mr. Barrett ever saw.

When the nightmare was over and I could stop making up poems in my head about the people in my life, Mr. Barrett took up the lecture from the previous week. He finished with a review based on the missed questions on the quiz. What I learned: fear does not make a good study environment.

_Ava please meet me at the door. Ava please meet me…_

When the tone sounded, I wasn't sure if I should rush out or lag behind. There wasn't really any benefit either way. But Bella didn't dally, so I waited just long enough to see her walk out the door. Then I gathered all my stuff and hoped beyond hope that Edward was otherwise entertained.

"Ethan, you look funny," Ava said as I reached her.

"That's because I _am_ funny. Walk with me to the rail."

She smiled. "Okay."

We passed through the parking lot as the Cullens and Bella were sliding into their car. Jasper was on a bike again, and Edward was, too. The two of them were talking as they waited.

_Why does she always go home with them? _

"So what did Edward want to talk to you about?" Ava whispered. "That was very weird."

"Was it?" I replied.

"They rarely talk to _anyone. _Especially Edward. He talks to Bella, and his family, and the teachers when they ask him questions in class and…yep, that's it."

"Huh." Whoever was driving the car backed up, but the boys waited longer still. They continued talking even as the car hit the end of the lot, as it pulled out onto the road.

"So what did he want?" Ava pressed.

"Just wanted to introduce himself," I said.

"That's it?" Ava asked.

"Yep. Pretty much."

"Weird." Ava took the moment to look over at Edward and Jasper. She shook her head. "They're all just…weird."

And here I thought Bella was the only weird one.

***

Work was boring, but safe. On the way home I watched out the window for Jacob's shop. It was on the corner across from the diner, dark and closed for the day.

"You ever go to that mechanic's shop down there, Aunt Madison?" I asked.

"Jake's place? Sure. I've been in a couple times. This thing doesn't run on magic."

I continued to stare out the window. The rain ran sideways across the glass. "Do you know the owner very well?" I asked.

"Only as much as I know everyone else in this town. Jake's a nice guy. His wife is gorgeous."

"Oh," I replied. "His sister goes to my school."

There was a suspicious quiet and then she asked, "Are you planning on asking her to the dance?" She nudged me with her elbow.

"Um. No. She has a boyfriend."

"I see." She nodded. "Well, if you want my opinion…boyfriend doesn't mean husband, if you know what I mean."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll keep that in mind."

When we got home, Mom's car wasn't in the driveway. I asked Aunt Madison where she had gone, and she said she was meeting with someone from the staff at the local hospital about her practice. We were on our own for dinner that night.

The kitchen was quiet. The back rooms had that eerie empty feel to them again with the lights off. I heated up some soup and made extra noise getting out the bowl and spoon just to make myself feel better. Aunt Madison made herself a sandwich and went into the office to do some paperwork.

I drummed my spoon against the kitchen table in between bites. I could hear an old clock ticking in some far off room. Outside, the sun was almost set and the clouds were breaking up. Little shafts of dim light peeked out, cutting through our kitchen window to the ceiling. It was going to be nice weather the next day. Will was going have his way after all.

The clock was still ticking. And dear God was it annoying.

I drank the last of my soup and left the bowl in the sink. I took the stairs two at a time to my room. You couldn't keep me down there if you tried.

The notebook was open before I sat all the way down. I was calling Jules as I signed on to my profile. It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

Her recording came on. "Jules did not answer her phone. Either the world has ended or you have somehow managed to get on her blacklist. Ponder that before you leave a message."

"I hope it's neither," I said. "Call me back."

If she wasn't answering her phone, she was probably online. She was always on one or the other, sometimes both, but never neither.

Until today.

She wasn't there. And I checked her profile. It said she was last online that morning.

_Hm. Weird. _

Perhaps she was watching the kids. But that wouldn't stop her from answering her phone. Unless, God forbid, something happened to her phone. Someone threw it in the lake? Someone stole it? I tried shuffling though her conversations section and could find no threat of such a horrible act of violence.

_She'll call._

I actually reviewed the notes I took during Government, as well as the reading assignment. It was a lot easier to concentrate when I didn't have to worry that it was potentially the last hour of my life. I did three of the take-home exercises for math and finished up _The Crucible. _

Mom came home around eight-thirty, completely ecstatic because one of the doctors at the hospital had a great location in mind for her, and even said he would help her get set up. He said it was about time there was a new family practice in town, children shouldn't have to go to a hospital for everything.

And she said he was dreamy, but married.

Ew, Mom. Ew.

When I lay in bed to go to sleep I tossed and turned. Part of the problem was my nervousness about the next day at school. I told myself not to worry about Edward, he wasn't threatening me in any way whatsoever. This was logic. Why expect the worst when there is no evidence to suggest it will happen?

But there was no convincing my imagination. I still continued my play-by-play of _A Thousand Ways Ethan Can Die by the Hands Fellow Students _into the night.

Jules didn't call.

***

The weather was the opposite of my mood the next morning – sunny and even a little warm. Some birds woke me up by singing from the tree branch outside my window. I wanted to throw my pillow at them.

_Tweet tweet, isn't it a lovely day? _

_Tweet tweet, it really is. All is for the best on this best of all possible days. _

Aunt Madison was already gone for work, and Mom was gone too, probably off dreaming of my future stepfathers. Maybe men would become her new hobby. She would bring home someone new each weekend and stop fussing over me. This was almost appealing.

Almost.

I ate a bowl of cereal, ignoring the clock, and gave myself a new goal: survive the day. I had done it before; I could do it again. If I could just get through today, I would live to see the weekend. And unless he had the audacity to attack me at home, I would be relatively safe for two whole days.

The rail ride gave me a little more optimism. It was hard to ignore the feeling that spread around the bus – a nearly tangible electric enthusiasm. It was Friday. It was sunny. It was a world with endless possibilities. I almost felt better by the last stop at school. Almost.

There were no cars in the parking lot. There was no tall, bronze-haired fellow waiting for me outside my first class with his huge brothers in tow. And when I stepped into the cafeteria for lunch, their table was empty.

_That's right. Sunny days mean camping trips. _

A smile broke out on my face. I sighed.

I whistled my way from the lunch line to our table. I sat down between Ava and Will. The girls were all wearing tank tops and Will had somehow managed to get through his classes not wearing a shirt at all. He had painted his chest and shoulders blue as if he was wearing one, along with a giant white 'W' on his back.

"Aren't you a little cold?" I asked with a laugh.

"Are you kidding? This is the hottest day we've had all year." He put his arm around my shoulder and a little of the paint came off on my sweater.

"It's January, Will," Aubree said. "That's not saying much."

"I celebrate the weather," he replied.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"So, Ethan, you ready for the beach trip?" Nate asked.

I shrugged. "I guess so. Is there something I should bring?"

"Unless you are stealing your mom's car again…no."

"I'm stopping at home to get some picnic stuff," Charlotte said. "You can just take the rail. It's stop thirty-two. Then a little bit of a hike."

Ava patted my hand. "Don't worry. I'll show you where to go."

Charlotte looked at Nate, Aubree looked at Will, and I looked at my sandwich.

"Um. Thanks."

"We'll probably do a bonfire once the sun starts to set," Charlotte said.

"Fires are allowed on the beach?" I asked.

"Ethan, you have seen what our weather is like around here, right?" Nate said. "It's not a problem."

"Okay." And I shut my mouth.

***

After school, Ava, Will, Aubree and I took the rail to stop thirty-two. It was a windy trip thorough La Push down to the fringe of the forest. I could smell the difference in the air closer to the shore – a salty tang mixed in with the regular evergreen. Once off the rail, we followed a tiny worn path through the trees that looked on the verge of being overtaken by ferns.

Will had put on an actual shirt, identical to the painted-on one he was sporting during the day. He had a hooded weatherproof sweater tied around his waist. Aubree was wearing a sweater she had pulled out of her locker, also equipped with a waiting hood, and Ava had a matching one over her arm as she walked.

Was I out of the loop on something?

There is a saying in Montana: "Only a fool or a tourist is more than an arms length away from a sweater."

And while I was wearing one, mine did not have a hood. It was sunny, but I was slowly realizing that perhaps in Forks, they had a similar motto.

I was going to get wet at some point, wasn't I?

_Damn it. _

But the light that found its way through the thick trees felt good. And it held promises of dry warmth. So I tried not to worry about it.

When we got to the shore, we had to climb down some rocks to get to the water. I let Ava take my hand a couple times to get over some of the more uneven ones. When I did, she blushed…of course.

Ava and Aubree set up camp at a small semi-circle of weathered logs, thick enough to sit on. Will threw off his shirt in the general direction of the wood and ran shouting down the shoreline. It was bizarre to see the blue replaced by blue again on his skin – like a cartoon where the shirts just keep on coming no matter how many you take off.

I stood watching him, with my hands in my pockets. "Where's he going?" I asked.

Ava rolled her eyes. "Who knows?"

Aubree sat down on the closest piece of driftwood and put up her hood. She pulled the drawstrings tight and tied them.

"Want to walk?" Ava asked.

"Um. Sure," I replied. "Aubree? You want to go?"

Her voice was muffled by the thickness of the sweater. "Don't worry about me. Go ahead. Nate and Charlotte will be here soon." Her shoulders raised and lowered – a sigh.

_Okay…_

We wandered off southward –the opposite direction of Will.

First Beach was not unlike the lake back in Polson. Instead of real sand, it had tiny pebbles of different colors, and for that little thing, I felt a bit more at home. The water rushed against the shore in small waves. The sound was comforting in the quiet. I reached down for one of the pebbles and tossed it out into the water.

"So I got the schedule of movies playing in Port Angeles tomorrow," Ava said with a little blush. "If you were still interested in going, that is."

"Um. Yeah," I replied. I put my hands in my pockets. "What are our choices?"

"Some old action movie. I think a romance, too."

"Just the two?" I asked.

"It's only got two screens. Really old-fashioned place. They even serve popcorn."

"Sounds kind of cool." The rocks crunched underneath our feet. "Well, either works for me. I don't really care."

"Okay," she replied. We walked in silence for a moment and then, "You do _want_ to go, right?"

Careful. "Of course. Why would I go if I didn't want to?"

"To make things easier. Like Aubree."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"She didn't want to come down here. But everyone else did. So she came with us."

I put my hands in my pockets. "Well, I want to go. It sounds like fun."

"Okay," she said. "What time do you get out of work?"

"Town close – six."

"Should I just meet you there? The rail ride will take a while. We could switch to the Olympic Coastal in Sappho – if we make it there by six-thirty. It will be close, but a much faster trip if we do."

It was all gibberish to me. "Sounds good."

"Cool."

There was an awkward lull in the conversation. She was most definitely thinking more about our date, and what to talk about in that department, and I was trying to think of ways to not talk about it.

She opened her mouth and before words could come out I asked, "Out of curiosity, why doesn't Aubree like the beach?"

She hmmed. "Something happened last time."

"Oh yeah?"

Ava looked over her shoulder to see how far back Aubree was. I looked as well; she was still visible, alone in the circle of wood. She was huddled up with her arms around her knees and the hood still pulled tight over her face.

Ava sighed. "Yeah. To do with a guy. Isn't it always to do with a guy?"

"A guy? As in a boyfriend? I didn't know she had one."

She shook her head. "She doesn't. There's just…this guy."

"What do you mean?"

"It was like a month ago. We came up after school just like today. Charlotte and I were building the fire and she decided to go for a hike, alone. The boys were making towers of rocks by the waterline, trying to see who could make the highest one that didn't fall. Some weird ritual they go through every time we come down. Like manly building or something…

"Anyways, she was wandering on the rocks and she slipped. She fell into the water. The tide took her up the shore a ways from our camp. We didn't even realize she was gone for a really long time, and when we did, the sun had gone down. Went looking for her with flashlights, calling her name. I was so scared she had drowned or had been eaten by bears or something. The kind of fear that makes it hard to breathe, you know?

"Well, we found her about a mile up the road. Some of the Quileute boys were treating her for hypothermia. When I went in to get her she was asleep on someone's bed, with this guy next to her, his arms wrapped around her. I was so startled, I screamed. "

"Whoa."

She shook her head. "I shouldn't have overreacted. They were just trying to get her warmed up. Body heat, you know."

"Oh."

"Well, she woke up. She was okay. Just very embarrassed about the whole thing. She doesn't remember much from the incident. She remembers trying to swim, a vague sense of someone pulling on her. And waking up when I screamed."

"Well that doesn't seem _so _bad. I mean, avoid the rocks this time?"

Ava sighed. "It's not just that. See…she was wearing different clothes when she left. Dry ones."

It took me a minute. "Oh. Ohh…"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm sure it was good intentions all around. I'm sure it was all fine, but still. She doesn't _remember." _

I nodded. "Okay then."

"Meanwhile, she does remember him. Heck, I do too. He looked a little shocked, a little embarrassed. The guy was stammering apologies as we ran out the door. Don't know why. He saved her life for God sakes."

"Well, that makes a lot more sense."

Ava looked down to the ground. "Don't bring it up. Touchy subject."

"Don't worry. I won't."

"So we've adopted a buddy system now." She looked over to me and smiled. "We go in pairs."

"What about Will?"

"Well he doesn't have to. Because, you know, he's _awesome_." She rolled her eyes.

I laughed.

We turned a corner, around a big outcropping of rocks. She tugged on my arm until I stumbled against her. We tripped over each other's feet for a moment and once righted, she was standing just next to the rock, still holding onto my arm. She leaned back, pulling me with her.

"Ethan. We're alone. We're together. We're not at school. We're not at some quasi-haunted house. There are no absurdly beautiful girls around to obsess over. Just you and me."

"I don't obsess over—"

"Shh…" She giggled. "Kiss me."

_Okay…_

I took my hands out of my pockets. She decided this meant she should put her hands in mine. Our fingers intertwined. I think my palms were a little sweaty. Oh well.

I leaned forward against her and pressed my lips to hers. She tilted her head and opened her mouth and I found myself wondering how uncomfortable she must have been against the rocks. She didn't seem to mind, her tongue didn't leave. So I let myself enjoy it for a moment, and felt my own softer support. She was much better than the rocks.

I let go of her hands and used one to prop myself up in front of her, the other found its way down to her hip, tracing her side.

And then she made a noise. Something between a hum and a groan.

_Interesting._

Not unpleasant.

"Ava!" Charlotte called. The voice was far off, but gaining. "You guys coming back? Fire's going. Aubree is asking for you!"

I jerked away from her and she was smiling conspiratorially. "Yeah! We're coming!" she shouted, running hand over the back of her head to straighten her hair out. She reached up and put her hand on my heart. "Just give it a minute. You're a little red."

I nodded.

After a couple moments, she put her hands in her pockets and walked back around the corner. I followed.

There was a small crowd gathered around a big pile of wood. I think Will was wearing his shirt again, but I couldn't be certain. Charlotte was a little ahead of us. She nodded when we appeared in her line of sight, and turned back for the camp. Nate was tossing more wood into the middle with the help of some guys I didn't really recognize – but from their tanner complexion and dark hair, I figured them to be the locals.

Aubree was no longer sitting. She leaned against a rock a distance from the group, her hands folded across her chest, hood gathered even tighter. Only the very tip of her nose was showing.

Ava looked at me. "Sorry. I'll see you back there." She took off in a run for the campsite.

I had a feeling we were in for a little drama.

* * *

**Ethan's right, there's drama to come. Questions? Comments? Theories? Mwahahahaaa!**


	8. Chapter 8

**a/n: Wow. That took longer than I thought it would. Thanks go out to my lovely beta, AZBella, who helped me make the ending not suck.**

**Thanks also to the wonderful folks who have been reviewing. It really means so much to me to hear what you guys think. :D**

**So this one's a little less with the funny, a little more with the serious.**

**Oh, by the way, UMT=University of Montana**

**Today I am of two teams. I am Team Ethan and Team... (You'll have to get to the end to find out) :)

* * *

**

Chapter 8

Ava caught up with her sister. The two of them huddled by the rocks for a moment, and then Ava looped her arm in Aubree's. They started walking towards me.

I paused just out of earshot of the guys at the fire. The girls stopped for a moment.

"We're going for a walk," Ava said. "Back in twenty or so."

I nodded.

The fire was pretty big by the time I joined the circle. Nate and Charlotte were sharing a spot on one of the logs. Across from them, the three local guys sat with sticks in hand. They were spearing hot dogs. Will sat in the sand close by with his hot dog already in the fire.

"E!" he shouted. "Where were you?"

"Just went for a walk down the beach. I've never been to the ocean before." I took the log next to him.

"Never? Never ever? That's weird."

"I'm a weird guy," I replied.

"That is what I'm learning." He pulled his hot dog out of the fire. It was completely black. "Perfect."

Nate threw a bun over to Will. "Did you meet everyone, Ethan?"

"Um. No." I stood and reached out a hand to the nearest guy. He was broad shouldered – a linebacker in the making. "I'm Ethan."

"Nice to meet you," he replied. He had been sitting too close to the fire. His hand was like a million degrees. "I'm Logan. And to my right – Jonah, and that's Trip on the end."

Jonah was tall, lanky; his knees stuck out way too far. The log was certainly uncomfortable for him. Trip was younger – still had a little baby in his face, but he had enough heft to him that I could tell he was stronger than me. (Sigh.) All three of them had buzz cuts that made them look like some kind of Native American army.

I wondered which one was Aubree's drama guy.

"Will says you just moved down here. True?" Logan asked. We both sat back down.

"True," I replied. "From Montana."

"Oh yeah? What part? I have a couple distant relatives out there – or had – I think."

"Polson. On Flathead Lake."

He nodded. "They were in Kalispell, I believe. Always wanted to get over there. Heard it's beautiful."

I smiled – someone had heard of Polson! And as much as I hated small towns in general, I was a little homesick in that moment. I wanted the patches of snow that were probably still fighting for their lives. I wanted to take the boat across the lake to camp on Wild Horse Island. I wanted the endless stretches of cloudless blue that met the water and just kept on going.

"It is," I replied. "If you ever go, you should look me up online. I could give you some tips for your trip if you like."

He looked out to the waves as they grew heavier and a little louder. "Yeah. I'll do that."

Will handed me a stick with a hot dog on it. The sun was setting over the water. The sight made me have a moment of non-hate for Forks. You see pictures of beach sunsets and can't really appreciate them because you're not _there – _it's not all around you.

When I had finished my food, and Will had eaten three coal-dogs, Ava and Aubree returned. They took a spot on the farthest log from the local guys. Ava made herself a hot dog while Aubree traced shapes in the sand with her finger. The hood was looser now, but with the angle of her head, her face was still hidden. The two of them mumbled back and forth to each other.

After everyone was done eating (mainly because we ran out; Logan and Jonah ate five hot dogs each, and Trip ate three) Will and Nate goaded all of us guys into their stone-stacking game. I went along with it because I thought Aubree would feel more comfortable with Ava alone.

Just as we stood to leave, Jonah nudged Trip. "Why don't you go get the bag? This might be the only chance."

"Why me?" Trip whined.

"Because you're the youngest, and because I said so."

"Whatever." Trip turned to head north. Jonah put his hand on Trip's shoulder to stop him.

"Oh, and tell Seth we're down here. He's probably home by now. If not…" He looked over to me. I was staring out at the water. "Well, just tell him, okay?"

"Yeah. Okay." The whine disappeared. He put his hands in his pockets and set off up the shore.

I wandered forward and Logan caught up with me. Down near the water, Will and Nate were already stacking rocks. Will's tower was about a foot high. Nate, however, had three of his fall down before we even came close to reaching them.

"So, Polson, how do you like Forks?" Logan asked.

"It's not too horrible. What do you think of it?"

Logan chuckled. "I can't say I know much else to compare it to. So yeah…"

I nodded. "Small towns are small towns. Forks isn't all that different from home, really, aside from the weather." _And the zombierobot-girls. Don't have many of those back home. _"The people have been pretty nice so far. So I really shouldn't complain. But I do anyhow."

"Okay!" Will shouted. "No one breathe on my stack. It's perfect. It's perfection." He backed up with his arms spread wide. "Back up, gentlemen, or you will wreck the eighth wonder of the world."

We took a few steps back. He had managed a foot and a half of stones. Nate was still working on his, with Jonah now stacking beside him. I decided not to participate. I sat down on the driest nearby rock I could find. Logan got to work just beside me.

"Hey Logan, do you know a guy named Jeremy?" I asked. "I work at my aunt's shop sometimes and he came by a couple times. Nice guy."

Logan shook his head and put a forth rock on his pile. "Hm. Don't think so. There's a Jeremy Loweree up in Clallam Bay. But that kid's like seven. His brother dated my sister for a summer."

"No. Not him. He said he went to school on the reservation. A senior."

"Got a last name?"

I shook my head. "I never asked."

"What does he look like?"

"Really tall. Like Jonah, but not as thin. Honestly, the guy looks kinda like he could lift a truck if he wanted."

"And he said he went to school down here?" Logan asked.

"I thought he did. But now that I think about it, he just said, 'on the rez.'"

"Well, this is the closest one to Forks."

"He seemed like the kind of guy who kept to himself most of the time. He was going rock climbing a lot instead of school. Maybe that's why you haven't met him."

"Maybe." His brow furrowed, but he kept his eyes on the rocks. "I'll keep my eye out for him. I'll be honest; I don't know everyone on campus. I'm not a man of perfect attendance myself."

"If you do see him, tell him Ethan was wondering how his arm is doing."

"Sure thing."

Logan won the contest. Somehow he managed to get his stack to a height of two feet, and Will was awed.

"I have to say…while officially I hate you…I kinda love you right now, man." Will wrapped his arms around Logan and turned him blue. And I had thought he was wearing his shirt. My eyes must have been weak in the twilight.

The boys kicked their towers of rocks down, which was probably more fun than actually building them, and we all walked back up to the fire. When we got there, I could see the distant silhouette of Trip and someone else walking down the beach. Trip had something in his hand that, as they came closer, turned out to be a grocery bag. The pair paused just before our camp and had a short conversation. The other guy was very tall with dark hair that was only marginally longer than the buzz cuts the other guys wore. (What the heck was with all these tall Quileute fellows anyhow? How come my gene pool didn't have their height?)

Trip nodded one last time to something the guy said and then walked over to join us. Whoever the guy was, he wasn't comfortable joining the group. He stuck around for a while, looking after Trip from a distance. He leaned against a rock.

When Trip reached the campfire, he nudged Jonah with his elbow and handed him the bag. "Here. Take it."

Jonah stared at the bag a moment and said, "Uh, no. Give it to Logan."

On the log beside me, Logan rolled his eyes. "Oh, you guys are such babies. Here." He stood up and snatched the bag from Trip. He started to walk around the fire towards Ava and Aubree.

I grabbed his arm – a reflex response. "Wait a sec. I – um – I don't know if this is such a great idea."

"I'm not going to hurt her. I'm just going to give this to her."

"What is it?" I asked.

He looked over his shoulder for a moment and then back down to me. "Do you know something?" he asked.

"If you're asking if I know about what happened in January then…yes."

"It's her stuff. Her…um…clothes and stuff. She left them behind."

_Oh. _"Well. Okay. Um…okay." I didn't know what else to say. There was obviously no real harm in his intentions, and I felt weird taking it from him to give to her. No matter what, she would be embarrassed. It was just a matter of who did the embarrassing. I offered anyway. "I can take them if you like."

"No, I should." Logan sighed. "I'm just going to give the bag to her, promise. Honestly, we don't even know her name. He never even got her name."

"He?" I asked.

Logan shook his head. "What I mean is, she was unconscious when we found her. Almost dead for sure. And then when the sister came for her, a couple kids brought her in. Said she was shouting up the shore. And then they left so quickly…it's not like we have an address to send her the stuff or anything."

I let go of his arm. "Okay. Just don't linger."

"Won't," he replied. He paused for a moment. "She's okay, right? I mean…there wasn't any permanent damage or anything? No lost digits?"

"Not as far as I know. I think she's fine. Her sister says you guys definitely saved her life. She's just…skittish."

He sighed. "Right. Got it. Well…good." He started walking towards her again.

"Oh, Logan?" I said. He turned. "Her name is Aubree."

"Thanks."

I sat down to watch, in case I needed to jump in and help in some way. Not that I could, really. Not that I had any idea what help to give. Logan walked slowly, like he was approaching a frightened cat. Ava saw him first, her eyes wide. Aubree had her head down, staring at her shoes, or the sand, or some combination of the two. She didn't look up until his bare feet were right in front of hers.

Everyone was watching. Not that you could tell – their eyes were not on Logan or Aubree – but they were all suspiciously silent. Even Will shut up. It was like the whole semicircle was holding their breath. The fire popped.

Logan handed her the bag. "It's all there, I think. Just wanted to make sure you got your stuff back."

Aubree nodded and took the bag so she had something safe to put her attention on. She rummaged through it. "Thanks."

"Yeah."

She looked up at him. "Tell the rest of them thank you, too. I'm sorry I—" She broke off, and there was a tiny glint of light as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Don't worry about it," Logan said. "Really."

Ava took over. "Thank you so much." She stood up and gave him an awkward hug. "You don't even know."

"Like I said, don't worry about it." Logan teetered backward as she released him. He looked back down to Aubree. "Stay safe? Okay?"

She nodded and looked back to the sand. Her face disappeared into the black of her hood.

Logan turned around and walked to his side of the campfire. Everyone stared for a moment at Aubree, still quiet.

But I was looking elsewhere. In the distance behind us, the guy who had come with Trip was standing ramrod straight. His silhouette was dying against the darkening sky, but he was still visible for a moment, staring at us. Then he turned and walked back up the coastline.

***

The party was killed when the rain rolled in. (Surprising much?) We ran back to the rail stop as fast as we could. Because I didn't have a hood, I ended up a wet mess on the rail seat and no one would sit next to me. Ava was busy keeping Aubree company, so I didn't really blame her. Will sat just in front of me, laughing. His hood came attached to a blue sweater with a big, white "W" across his back. Imagine that.

When I got home, Aunt Madison and Mom were sitting around the table with mugs of something warm in their hands. I pulled off my wet socks and shoes by the door, envious of the steam they had in front of them.

"I wasn't expecting you to go swimming with all your clothes on," Mom said. Aunt Madison chuckled.

"I didn't go swimming," I said. "You don't _swim _in the _ocean._ Obviously." I pulled off the wet sweater and hung on the post by the door.

"Why?" Mom asked.

"I don't know. Maybe because they don't really need to. Learn something new every day."

Aunt Madison picked up a towel off the handle of the fridge and tossed it to me.

"But you had a good time?" Mom took a sip from her mug.

I was going to keep up my teenage sarcasm but decided to grant her a small reprieve. "I did." I ran the towel over my hair.

"Oh good," she replied. "Leftovers are in the fridge."

"Thanks," I said. "I'll be right back." I peeled off my shirt as I walked up the stairs.

When I got to my room, I turned on my notebook. I changed clothes and felt a lot better for it. There's something to be said for being dry and warm. I sat down at the computer and looked up Jules' profile. She wasn't online, but there was a message in my box.

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] I'm babysitting at the go-karts. Then getting a new phone. I'll call after nine. _

Well, she was alive, and the world hadn't ended, and I wasn't on her blacklist. So all must have been right with the world. I was relieved.

I walked back downstairs to get a snack. It was only 8:45.

"…and she told me—" Mom paused her story as I walked in. "Did you want me to make you some soup or something, Ethan?"

"We've got some chicken noodle in the cabinet," Aunt Madison said.

"No, thanks. Just gonna make a sandwich." I pulled mayonnaise, lettuce, and turkey out of the fridge.

Mom went back to her conversation. "And she told me that someone had broken into the pharmacy. Whoever it was stole enough tranquilizers to down a herd of elephants."

I spread the mayo on a couple slices of bread. I sliced a tomato.

"Wow," Aunt Madison said. "Do they know who did it?"

"I don't know. But it definitely sold me on the safe. And the camera system. It was pricey, but I don't want to have to worry about it."

"I don't blame you. Maybe I should get something new for the store. Our security system is very old."

_Everything in the store is very old. _

"Well, what did Dr. Cullen say about the whole thing?" Aunt Madison asked in a sing-song voice.

I put a couple slices of turkey and a piece of lettuce on the bread. I wrapped the whole thing up in a napkin.

Mom made a halfway shushing noise. "Dr. Cullen didn't know what to say about it, Maddy." Her voice lowered, "Really, he's _married."_

"I know. But it sure is nice to dream, isn't it?"

"It's a purely professional relationship and I intend to keep it that way. And he's married," Mom said, and then, because she has eyes on the back of her head, "Ethan, put that stuff back before you go upstairs."

"Right," I replied. I put all the ingredients back on the shelf that was closest. I figured I'd let the fridge sort it out. Before my mom could bug me about it, I ran back upstairs with the sandwich.

Ava had left me a message on my profile in the short time I was downstairs.

_[Ava Parson thinks Will Yorkie is insane] Thanks so much for the thing at the beach. I know you were trying to look out for her. Can't wait for tomorrow. _

I peeked in on my conversations section, which I hadn't really checked in days for fear of backlash from the move. Justin had left me a string of comments about how I disappeared off the left end of the Earth. There were a few theories about when I would crawl back to Polson on my knees, or if I had gone crazy from the solitude and killed myself. I typed up the comment, "Enjoy the Lake Games without me, folks," and left it at that.

At 9:01, Jules called.

"Hey," I said. "I thought you had disowned me."

"I thought about it," she said. "Honestly Eepers, what the hell have you done to me?"

I took a bite of my sandwich. With a full mouth, I asked, "What are you talking about?" The lettuce crunched around my words.

"I'm talking about this Isabella Swan madness. It's destroying my life."

I swallowed. "Aren't we being a tad dramatic?"

"I am never dramatic. I am always completely serious. And in this, I am dead serious."

"Get it? Dead serious? Get it?" I laughed.

Silence, and then, "Not funny."

"Sorry. The point then, Jules?"

"I can't crack it," she said, defeated. "I really can't."

This was not something I had ever heard from her. "What?"

"And it's like an addiction now. I can't help but try all the time. But it's impossible, Ethan. I _can't_ do it."

"Wow. You called me Ethan."

She sighed. "Remember the part where I said I was serious?"

"Well…just don't worry about it then." Though it only made my own curiosity build a little more. Who was hiding this? And what was so important that it be kept a secret? What had happened to Isabella Swan?

"Don't be stupid. We both know _that's_ not going to happen." She sighed again. "I did find one little thing. "

"What?" I moved over to the bed and pulled the yearbook from underneath. I flipped it open to Isabella's picture.

"Well, after trying for her school records, which should have been cake but wasn't, and I lost my phone in the process—"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to ask, what happened to your phone exactly?" I took another bite of my sandwich.

"Dropped it in the lake. Call me paranoid."

"What?"

"I had such a hard time getting through. But I was doing it. And then…every time I made a little headway, _something_ came through the cracks I was making. And I think it was trying to hack my phone – you know, get my info."

"What the hell?" And now I was truly worried. Whatever this business was, I shouldn't have sent Jules in after it. Evidently it wasn't just a stupid little urban legend. I set the sandwich down on top of the yearbook.

"I _know_." She sighed again. "So I gave up on the school and dropped my phone in the lake. You should feel safe knowing that a hundred years from now your B minus average will be protected from prying eyes in the Forks High database. Sheesh."

"Weird."

"Yeah," she replied, running onto the next part of the story. "So I went to visit Sean at UMT. Well…to visit the computer lab anyhow."

"I'm sure he cared…"

She didn't really hear me. "And I still couldn't find much. I mean, it's a ghost story, after all. But I have proof that she existed as a real person once."

"What did you find?" I asked.

"The marriage license. A matter of public record. I'm dumb that I didn't find it sooner."

Not what I was hoping for but… "What was the husband's name?"

"Oh! That's the best part. Didn't you say there was a guy named 'Cullen' at your school?"

The little hairs on my arms stood on end. "Um. Yeah."

"That's the name. Probably a great-great-great-grandfather or whatever – Edward Cullen."

"I heard his ancestors had a house here back in the day," I mumbled. But it wasn't really the train of thought I was on. _Edward Cullen and Bella Black. Edward Cullen and Isabella Swan who…c'mon…_was _Bella Black. _

"Small towns, go figure," Jules said. "Anyhow, I guess you could just ask him, or his dad. They might know something. She's probably related to them."

"Right. I'll…do that." _And Jules is going after them. She's been after them this whole time and…_

"I was going to look into Dartmouth. I read in one of the versions of the story that they supposedly went there and—"

My heart was beating overtime. "You know, Jules, it's really no big deal. I'm kinda over it." I hoped she couldn't hear the lie in my voice. If she had been sitting in front of me, she certainly would have been able to see it on my face.

"What about the pickle jar?"

"Um. Yeah, over it."

"Okay…"

I had to give her something else to talk about, quickly. "I'm going out with Ava tomorrow night."

"What?" she shouted. "When did this happen?"

"Um…yesterday? Just a movie."

She hmmed. "Well, then I just have to meet this girl now. I'll have to come up sooner than the break."

"Don't go overboard, please."

"Travel arrangements will be made. When's the wedding?" she asked.

"Jules. It's one date." I wanted to groan, but this is what I was hoping she would do. This was the tangent I needed her to be on. My heart was still racing.

"This girl doesn't know what she's gotten herself into."

"So I should get some homework done," I said.

"Homework shmomework. Tell me more about your date tomorrow."

"How about I call you after? I have to do stuff now if I'm going to get anything done at all. I've got work and the movie tomorrow so…"

"Yeah, whatever. Call me tomorrow. I expect at least twenty minutes of information."

"Sure thing," I said. "G'night Jules."

"Heartbreaker." And she hung up.

I took a deep breath and looked back down at the yearbook. The sandwich was still sitting there, half-eaten, with a litter of crumbs spread across the pages. I picked it up and tossed it into the trashcan by my desk. I really wasn't very hungry anymore. I brushed the book off.

Isabella Swan's mild smile taunted me. She had to think I was an idiot for having the answer right in front of me the whole time. And I had to agree with her.

I flipped backward to the "c" section one page at a time. Just trying to delay it, I guess. Giving him time to hide away…or something. But his name was there – a junior, just like Bella. Of course. And just above his name was his sister's – Alice Cullen. There were two blank gray boxes to accompany the names, with the three simple words "No Photo Available."

Because it wouldn't do to leave behind evidence, would it?

With desperate fingers, I flipped to the seniors' section. I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to find a bunch of names that I didn't recognize. And then I would turn back to the juniors and Bella and Edward would be gone – a figment of my imagination.

I had no such luck. The rest of them were listed there just like Alice and Edward – no photos, just the three names: Emmett Cullen, Jasper and Rosalie Hale.

It wasn't just Bella. It was all of them. And for all the talk that ran around school about how weird they were…it seemed so obvious. Once I realized it, it seemed so stupid that I hadn't thought of it before.

They were all beautiful, inhumanly so. They were cold and pale. They never came to school when the sun was out. And evidently they had been around a long, long time…

I laughed out loud in the quiet of the room – a hysterical, lonely giggle. Because it was silly. It was impossible.

Vampires didn't really exist.

Right?

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**...SETH! Who saw that one coming? Hm? OK, I think some of you had suspicions.**

**SO! For the reviews: Aubree/Seth? Yes? No? Maybe? Drop Dead?**


	9. Chapter 9

**The thank-yous first (cause I've got a bunch this time):**

**Thanks first to my beta, AZBella, for all her work. Its so helpful to have a second set of eyes.**

**Thanks second to the Lex and Google Maps. Without them, research would be impossible.**

**Thanks third to my reviewers. To the girls at [t20s] who keep me so big-headed it's a wonder I even fit through doors. And every one here at ff too! Especially mhgood, Niqi, neniainas, and meldown17! I love hearing what you guys have to say about this whole crazy thing. :)**

**Thanks last (though certainly not least) to all the wonderful betas at Project Team Beta who are helping me with my second draft. **

**Today I am Team Garlic.**

**On with the show…

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**

Chapter 9

Fun fact: Polson, Montana, is exactly six hundred and sixty-six miles from Forks, Washington.

Omen? Perhaps.

_I don't have to go to school tomorrow. _

_I have work and the movies with Ava. Ava in Port Angeles. We're taking the rail to Sappho and…_

I was lying on my bed. The yearbook was closed and sitting on my chest. I had opened and shut it too many times to count. It didn't change anything. She was still there. They were all still there.

I had been thinking in circles for hours, playing my own knowledge of myths and legends against the real world facts in front of me. I had been driving myself bonkers. Because vampires or no, they were _something._ Maybe I was way off and they were the good guys, but it wasn't a risk I really wanted to take.

_I wonder if it will be sunny on Monday. _

A noise at the window made me jump. I lifted myself off the bed and walked over to the dark glass, hugging the yearbook, afraid to see what I was making myself look for. But it was only the tree blowing in the wind again – _tap, tap, tap. _No one was there.

_ I wonder how many people they have killed. _

_ I wonder if I'm next._

It was three-fifty-seven in the morning.

_I wonder if I should tell someone._

Of course, logically, I knew I couldn't tell anyone. No one would believe me. Heck, _I _didn't really believe me. And it wasn't like I was looking to put myself in the spotlight. No matter what they were, I didn't want to make them mad.

_Oh God. Dr. Cullen…and my _mom_…_

There was just no part of this that was good. And all that time I had complained about how much I hated Forks, how much I wanted to go home, how much I didn't belong…I was just whining in the dark.

I started pacing the space in front of my desk, banging the yearbook against my forehead. I needed to be proactive about the problem. I needed to _do_ something so I could live my life again, not completely afraid that one of them would come walking around every corner. I needed to discover some little fact about vampires that made Bella and the Cullens _not_ vampires. And, God forbid, if I couldn't find that, I needed something to keep them from getting to me.

So…how do you protect yourself from vampires?

_I wonder if Bella has fangs. Have I ever seen her smile with her teeth?_

I knew they weren't supposed to be too keen on crosses…

I walked over to my desk and signed onto my notebook again. I typed "vampires" in the search box, feeling really stupid and giggling again. The list of pages ran on and on. One site swore that they didn't like garlic. Another said it was the color green. Some of the legends said they had no reflection, and the only sure way to know if one was a vampire was if you could get him in front of a mirror. There was one page that devoted itself to home protection, and it recommended mustard seed on the roof and a dead animal on the porch. _I could so do that. Seems easy enough… _

_I think this town is making me crazy. _

The one thing the websites _weren't _doing: disabusing me of my theory. Most of them agreed on the points of cold and pale skin, strength beyond the average human, and immortality. So that wasn't really making me feel very much better. And then there was another little tidbit they seemed to all have: vampires drank blood.

Okay, I knew that already. But I was hoping it was one of those common misconceptions – you know, "Nah, they don't _drink _blood. They _give _blood. That's why they're so pale." Or maybe, "Yes. Blood…oranges. Vampires are really just big fans of citrus fruit."

But…not so much.

_How often do they have to eat? What the hell are they doing in Forks, anyway? _When people go missing in small towns, it tends to be rather noticeable. But, then again, maybe that's why it was such a small town.

And then I ran into a site that made me break into a cold sweat.

_Native American Legends of the Pacific Northwest_

It seemed that our local Quileute friends had a fable about a woman who came to their area and ate nearly everyone in the tribe before being killed by their "wolf warriors" hundreds of years ago. Now, it was kind of a sketchy thing to confirm my theory, I will admit. I mean, it also claimed that the Quileute boys were some kind of werewolves or something. But I found myself losing that defining line in my mind where the rational world and the world of myths kept themselves happily separate. There was a record, albeit questionable, that vampires had existed at some point in the coastal region of Washington.

So, even if I was very wrong and they were something beyond my scope of understanding, I had to at least _try _to defend myself. And at four-ten in the morning I was hatching a brilliant plan.

I would not be a victim.

I would find a way to protect my family and friends.

I would do anything and everything to stay alive.

Point one of my plan meant I needed some kind of self defense. I crept down the hall to my mom's room. The floorboards creaked under my feet as I walked, and I worried that I would wake her. But when I stepped in the room, she was snoring lightly with one arm almost off the bed. Silently, I crossed to her dresser and started to rifle through her jewelry boxes.

Mom wore a cross regularly. It was small, gold, and discreet. She almost never took it off. She was probably wearing it as she turned over in bed. She didn't have anything else like it. That I knew of. But…

Great-Grandma Abigail had left a lot of things to my mom that she kept as keepsakes but never wore. Broaches, watches, pendants, and…

A rosary.

But it was pink.

_Suck it up._

Like really, really pink.

_It's no big deal. Wear pink beads? Or be brutally murdered by creatures of the night who happen to attend your high school? _

Pink it was.

Once I had lifted it over my head and settled it around my neck, I felt a lot better. I walked back to my room, breathing normally, with my heart settling to a less frantic pace. I shut off the notebook and climbed into bed. It took another ten minutes (and leaving the light in my room on) but I finally got to sleep.

My brilliant plan was in action.

***

The next morning, Aunt Madison had to resort to pounding on my bedroom door to get me up. My alarm had been sounding in the room for twenty minutes and I didn't hear it.

"Ethan!" she shouted. "You coming down? We've got fifteen minutes!"

_Damn it. _"I'll be down in a sec!" I called back. My throat sounded like it had gravel in it. I sat up from the bed and the room started to tilt. My head was pounding, carrying the beat Aunt Madison had made with her fist. I had to steady myself with my hand before I could stand up.

I walked over to the mirror on the closet door. There were pillow wrinkles across my left cheek, my hair was splayed out in ten different directions, and my eyelids didn't seem to want to work quite right. I couldn't get them to open more than halfway.

Mmm…three hours sleep. Yummy.

But even with the dull light of a Forks morning, I didn't really feel any different about the conclusions I had come to the night before. Maybe if I had gotten a full eight hours, I would have. But I was just going to keep my assumptions for what they were, keep my plan in action. I had work to do.

I was still wearing the same jeans from the day before, so I just tossed on a new t-shirt and green sweater. I threw on some socks that were lying on the floor by my desk and squeezed into my still-wet shoes.

When I got downstairs to the kitchen, Mom gave me a once-over from behind the counter. "Ethan, did you even brush your teeth? Your hair?"

"Will do. Just want something to eat first." I opened the fridge and made a show of going for the milk. I opened the vegetable drawer instead.

_Gah._

It wasn't there.

I opened the pantry door. "Mom, where do we keep potatoes and garlic and stuff?"

"Why?" she asked.

"Um…hash browns."

"Oh, well, bottom shelf."

Aunt Madison walked in from the living room as I was rummaging through the pantry. "Ethan, we don't have time for that kind of stuff. We have to _go._"

I crouched down and looked through the little containers on the shelf. "Right. Of course not." The garlic was in a blue box, two bulbs.

_Enough? Hm. _

I took them both and put them in my sweater pocket.

"I'm just going to take an apple then." I grabbed one from the fruit basket on the counter. "One sec, Aunt Madison. I just have to brush my teeth."

"Okay," she replied. "Hurry."

I took the stairs two at a time. I did a cursory rinse and spit and ran a hand through my hair with a little water to smooth over the insane pieces. I was going to have to live with the way I looked. It wasn't great, but it was good enough to wipe dust off shelves for eight hours. It wasn't like I had anything _special…_

_ DAMN IT._

The date. With Ava.

And I hadn't even told my mom. _Oh dear God. _

I was pretty certain I couldn't bail on Ava. She wouldn't really believe the "I'm too tired" excuse, and I didn't want to be an asshat.

Aunt Madison was holding my coat open for me when I got back downstairs. I thanked her and pulled it on. I had one last thing to do before we could leave.

I put my hand in my pocket and pulled off a clove from the garlic in my pocket. I slipped it into the pocket of my mom's jacket hanging by the door. She would be safe in the house – vampires couldn't come in unless you invited them – but I wanted something to go along with her in case she decided to run errands.

"Hey, Mom," I said. "Before I go…"

Aunt Madison opened the front door. "_Now_, Ethan." She tromped down the steps into the rain.

"I've got a date with a girl named Ava after work today," I blurted out. "Movie in Port Angeles. Don't wait up. Okay, bye!" I shut the front door behind me, with a split-second image of my mom's gaping mouth that didn't get a chance to reply.

Perhaps it was better that way.

***

Aunt Madison gave me a promotion. Which meant now I was in charge of all outbound orders. It was more work, and I got to do this for an increase of zero dollars and zero cents. Which made my wages jump to zerody-zero per hour. Yippee.

The good part about it: I didn't have to work in the front very much anymore. My appearance didn't matter after all. I spent the whole time in front of a computer, printing labels, stuffing boxes, and trying very hard notto fall asleep.

I managed to drop a couple cloves of garlic in Aunt Madison's purse when she asked me to watch the register for a minute while she went to the restroom.

Despite my fatigue, I still carried around the nervous tension that had built up the night before. I found myself flinching at the slightest movement just on the edge of my field of vision. My stomach was in knots for most of the day – enough that I didn't want to eat lunch, but I forced myself to have a little bit of a burger anyway.

In the moments between label printing and label putting-on, I was working on another project entirely. I had snapped off the end of the handle on the dry mop and was now whittling it to a fine, tapered point. This was part and parcel to the first point on my plan: _I would not be a victim._ Garlic and crosses aside, I knew I had a lot of work to do on the other points. Sunday was going to be a day spent in town.

Ava arrived at five-fifty. Aunt Madison shouted back to me that I had a visitor and at first I just figured it was Jeremy asking about dehydrated crap again. I put the stake in my sweater pocket and went out to the front.

She was wearing a skirt. _Damn it. _She had her hands clasped in front of her with her coat hanging over them. She smiled at first when I walked through the aisles to see her, and then her face fell as she took in my scraggly hair and splinter-covered sweater. _Damn it. _How was I ever going to make this up to her? I was a very bad date. And I was doing an awful lot of internal cursing. _Damn it. _

"Um. Hi," I said.

"Hey," she replied. "You almost…ready to go?"

"Sure thing, two shakes." But before I went to clean up, I could still make a little bit of the gentleman come out. "Have you met my Aunt Madison?"

"Of course," she replied.

"Ava and I go way back," Aunt Madison replied. "I had no idea you two were an item though…" She winked at me. Ava blushed.

"I'll just be a minute," I said.

I ducked back through the aisles to the men's room. When I looked in the mirror, I realized it was worse than I thought. It wasn't just a splinter-covered sweater – it was a splinter-covered, grease-stained sweater with a blob of ketchup on the front of it leftover from lunch. And it wasn't just scraggly hair – it was scraggly hair that had taken on a life of its own and was trying to devour me from the top down.

Water helped. I splashed it on my face and ran a couple hands through the mess on my head. I got most of the ketchup off scratching at it with my fingernail and dabbing it with a little water. The splinters were trickier. The big ones dropped when I brushed at the front of my sweater, but the little ones held on with their claws. I had to pick them off one by one.

When it was over, I looked passable. Not great, but not like a hobo either. (Though I hear some girls go for that sort of thing.) As I walked through the aisles again, I heard Ava and Aunt Madison chatting.

"…yeah, kind of incorrigible. But what can you do?" Ava asked.

Aunt Madison chuckled. "Believe me, I know. You should have seen him this morning, trying to get out the door…"

I cleared my throat and they shut up quick. "Ready?" I asked.

"Yep. We should hurry," Ava said. She started to open her jacket, and immediately Aunt Madison was giving me bug eyes.

"What?" I mouthed.

"Her coat," she mouthed in reply. She made a gesture of holding something in her hands.

_Oh…right. _

"Let me," I said to Ava. I took the coat and held it open for her.

"Thanks," Ava replied softly.

And before Aunt Madison could give me any more advice, I cut her off. "We're going up to Port Angeles. Don't know when I'll be home though."

"Your mom knows about this?" Aunt Madison asked, reaching for her phone.

"Sure. I told her." The hand came down. "I'll have my phone in case you need anything."

"Okay. Have fun."

"Sure thing." I held the door for Ava.

"Bye, Mrs. Marshall," she said. She put up her hood, and I did the same. We walked out into the cold.

Once the overhang of the store no longer protected us, we started to jog through the streets to the rail stop. The rain was coming in sheets now. I could see the distant glint of silver as the rail pulled around the corner. Ava didn't look up, and as quiet as it was, she probably didn't know it was so close.

I grabbed her hand. "C'mon. It's another fifteen minutes if we don't run."

She didn't mind. Her hand squeezed mine and we broke into a sprint for the bench three blocks away. We started laughing as we somehow managed to hit almost all the puddles that were between our goal and us. Her coat seemed to keep her pretty dry, but my pants were something else entirely. When we hopped over the track and finally got to the bench, I was soaked through to the skin. The sweater held up pretty well; it was probably pretreated for water.

"Oh man," I said. "This is ungood."

"You'll be fine," she replied with a giggle. "Sit by the fan. And we have the Olympic too. You'll dry before Port Angeles."

I was skeptical. "Sit alone by the fan, you mean, so I don't get you wet, too."

"No, that's not what I meant." She looked up at me from under her lashes. She seemed to be blinking excessively. "I'll sit by you."

I smiled. "Okay."

The rail pulled up in front of us. There were a few kids from school on board and a couple townies I didn't really recognize. I think one of the women was the waitress from the diner. We walked to the very back by the air vent and took the last seat. She sat in the spot by the window and I leaned over the grate in the floor. The air wasn't very warm. It shot up the legs of my jeans, and they billowed out like clown pants. My hair was whipping wildly.

Ava didn't start a conversation, or maybe she tried to and I couldn't hear. Either way, it was a peaceful ride to Sappho.

We got off the rail and started running again. She grabbed my hand the instant our feet hit pavement and led me through the town streets to the bigger interstate rail station.

She took a moment to wipe her feet at the door. "We don't have time for either of us to slip on the marble. Wipe your feet." So I did.

And then we were running again.

Over the loudspeakers, a mechanical female voice announced: "Six-thirty to destinations east is pulling in now. Six-forty-five to destinations west is on time."

"Tickets?" I shouted. I slowed, expecting her to pause and lead me to the ticket counter.

"I have my mom's pass. Let's _go_." She tugged on my hand and we picked up our pace again. We went down a big white staircase, weaving around the more casual traffic, earning some protesting shouts in the process.

The rail was still on the track when we got to the bottom – a giant silver miracle. The doors were open. Ava waved her mom's pass at the little gate to the platform and stepped through. She handed it to me through the bars and I did the same.

We made it.

Over the loudspeaker: "Last call for the six-thirty to points east."

We stepped into the rail proper and tried to find a spot by the air grate again. The seats were taken this time, so we had to settle for the spot just in front of them.

The mechanical voice started talking again: "First destination is Lake Crescent and Ovington. Twenty minutes." The rail pulled out of the station tunnel, and the green outside began to blur by.

"We made it," Ava said. "I can't believe it, really." Her face was flush from the run and she was breathing heavily. She took a moment to smooth over the stray hairs that had escaped her ponytail.

"Me neither. That was all you." I pulled down my hood and Ava laughed. "What?"

"Oh God, Ethan, if you could only _see_ your _hair." _She fished through her jacket pockets and came up with a compact mirror. She opened it up and held it out to me.

I looked like something from a comic. My hair was standing on end, dried by the grates and stuck that way. What a date I was turning out to be.

"Oh, wow," I said. "How can you even stand to sit next to me?"

She shrugged. "I'll survive."

I took the mirror from her and held it in front of me as I tried to get my hair to cooperate. It didn't want to go down. It wanted to be up. And I couldn't convince it otherwise, no matter how many times I ran my hands over it.

"It's gonna have to stay that way a while, I think," Ava said. "A shower will help, I bet."

I groaned and leaned back against the seat. I handed the mirror back to her. "Yeah. You're stuck with me."

"I don't mind," she replied. "So, we've got twenty minutes. Tell me your life story, Ethan Powell."

I stared up at the ceiling. "I'm really not that exciting."

"C'mon." She nudged me. "I want to know more about you. What's Polson like?"

Everyone asked me that question. All the time. "Small town. Less rain than Forks."

"No, I mean…what was your _life_ like? Friends? Don't you miss any of them?"

"Well, sure." I looked over at her. Did she really care? Really? "I had friends there – have friends, I guess. I keep tabs with them online. I talk to Jules almost daily."

"Jules?"

"My best friend back home. We talk every night. I have to vent to someone about the weather, after all."

"I can understand that."

"Jules thinks it's hilarious actually…that I'm here. That I had to move mid-year. Yeah, it's all sorts of funny."

"I don't think it's funny," Ava said. She put her hand on mine. "I think it's a good thing for me. But I'm sorry you had to leave it all behind."

"Thanks," I murmured. I wasn't sure what else to say. "What about you? I feel like I know all about your sister…"

She shrugged. "Small town girl hopes to see more of the world someday."

"We have that in common," I said.

"You're a small town girl, too?" she asked with a little chuckle.

"Ha ha," I replied, smiling. "I mean…well you know what I meant. What colleges are you applying at?"

"I want to apply somewhere in the South, I think. Or maybe D.C."

I chuckled. "Looking to put some distance between you and the rain?"

"Something like that," she said. "Where do you want to go?"

"I don't know. I'll probably just end up at UMT with Jules and Justin."

"Sounds…exciting."

"It's not. But it's where I fit in."

"I can understand that. But what about the rest of the world?" she asked.

"Maybe after. Maybe when I'm an adult."

The whole rail ride went on like that. We talked about our life at school, what we wanted to do for a living, our messed up parents, our even more messed up friends.

When the voice announced the stop in Port Angeles, Ava took my hand.

"C'mon, Ethan," she said. "We've got a movie to catch."

***

We ended up seeing the romantic movie because I let her pick. But what I should have realized was the movie was _The Last Ending – _the last movie actually made on film. Most theaters, where they were still in business, had a showing of it weekly. Tradition or tribute, I didn't know. But I had seen that one too many times to count. I didn't even like it.

The theater was musty and cold. There was leak in the roof in the corner of the room. There were only a handful of other people in the audience. When the room went dark, I settled into the red velvet seat and propped up my head on my hand. The title flashed on the screen, Ava sighed, and the opening credits rolled along with the dialogue…

…and then she was nudging me awake. The movie was over. The lights were on and people were walking out the side doors. I blinked a couple times and had to remind myself where I was. And then I realized I was a horrible, horrible person.

"Oh, God, Ava, I'm so sorry—" I broke off as a yawn took over. "I didn't get a lot of sleep last night and—"

"It's okay," she said. Her smile was a little on the disheartened side. "It's no big deal."

"I'm really, really sorry," I said again. "I will totally make this up to you. I promise. Dinner? Bowling? Anything you want. We'll do something next Friday. I don't have work and…"

"Ethan. Really. It's okay."

"I feel so awful. What you must think of me..."

She shrugged. "But if you really want to go out next Friday, that's fine by me."

"Yes. You name it, we'll do it."

She pursed her lips together. "Can I think about it?"

"Of course. Take your time. Make your plans."

"Sounds good," she said. "C'mon. We have to get back to the rail station. We don't want to be stuck here all night."

The rail ride home was quieter. I wanted to ask her what she was thinking about, but she just stared out the window at the darkness that sped by us. The few times I started conversations she ended them casually and went back to the window.

Maybe she wouldn't want to go out on Friday after all.

And as that occurred to me, I realized that I kinda wanted to. I was looking forward to the plans, maybe not because of the implied furthering of our romantic relationship, but because she was more than just another person at school now. We were at least friends, _real_ friends. I liked talking to her, and she seemed to care enough to want to hear what I had to say. So, while it was all probably an elaborate ruse to get me into a suit for the dance so I would make good arm candy, I was still a little worried that I had scared her off.

We switched to the local rail and I got off with her at her stop. She let me walk her to the house. We shuffled up the sidewalk. I had my hands in my sweater pockets, unsure if she expected me to hold her hand or not. It was too confusing. She turned to give me a goodbye as we hit the driveway.

"Aubree's probably staring at the porch from the living room," she said.

It was midnight. And as I looked around the yard, I realized that I was back in Forks, and that it was very, very dark in the woods that neighbored her house. I wondered if my rosary and garlic were doing me any good.

"I guess I better get home," I said. But as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I couldn't leave her unprotected. Even in the short walk up the driveway, she could be attacked. I had to do _something… _"Would it be okay if I kissed you goodbye?"

She blushed and looked at her feet. "Yes."

I broke off a clove of garlic from inside my pocket. I palmed it and reached for her waist. She looked up at me and leaned closer.

As our lips met, I would like to say that there were fireworks, or that I had some sudden realization that I did really care for her the way she did for me. But that's not what happened. I played along with the kiss and dropped the little piece of garlic in her coat pocket. I was too focused on what my hands were doing to pay much attention to what my mouth was doing.

She pulled back. "I guess I'll see you on Monday."

"Sure thing," I replied. "You start thinking about Friday."

She walked backwards up the drive. Her smile was bigger now. At least I did _something _right.

I waited on the sidewalk, watching her as she finally turned to the house and opened the door. I held my breath as she walked across the threshold. She was safe.

Which meant I could leave.

Which meant I got to wait another twenty minutes in the dark for the next rail home.

Fun.

* * *

**Thoughts? Questions? Comments?**

**We will be back in school by the next chapter. I'm SO EXCITED.**


	10. Chapter 10

**a/n: This would have been sooner, but ff had a major fail - they don't recognize the greater-than or less-than symbol! I had to go back and replace them all with square brackets (and am now realizing I have to do the same in previous chapters). Grr. Argh.**

**Anyway...**

**Thank you so much to everyone who took the time out to review on that last chapter. I love hearing what you guys think. 3 (I CAN'T MAKE A HEART? REALLY FF? REALLY?)**

**Thanks to my beta, AZBella, who is a wonderful, wonderful person and a fabulous writer in her own right.**

**Thank you to Project Team Beta for watching over my words and punctuation marks as well. Looking for a beta? Check them out. They're the awesome. **

**And I wanted to let you guys know I'm doing a little companion to this fic. It's called "Grace Note" and it's Aubree POV of some stuff along the way. A little side story that's very different than this one. The first part is already up if you're interested. I'd love to hear what you think of the idea…if I should continue it.**

**I apologize for the cliffie, but I will update no later than next Tuesday.**

**And on with the show…Today I am Team Bowtie.

* * *

**

Chapter 10

Sunday was filled with all my last-ditch safekeeping efforts. I tagged along with my mom to town and bought some mustard seed from the local nursery. When we got back to the house I had to climb the dumbass tree that was outside my window, but I managed to get the seeds up there. I might have spent an inordinate amount of time hugging the largest limb before I convinced myself it was safe to scoot out to the end. When I did, I tore the seat of my pants as the pocket snagged on a little branch. And then I decided I really, truly hated that tree.

But I did get a chance to snap off the end of the branch that had been tapping against the glass each night and scaring the bejesus out of me. So it was a day of true accomplishment.

I stole a couple of chicken legs from the freezer and tossed them in the bushes that grew on either side of the house. Maybe not the same as killing an animal and leaving it on the front porch, but I just…couldn't. It would have to do.

All these things were silly. I knew this. I mean…how ridiculous is it to think that some seeds on my roof would keep the bad guys away? But, then again, their existence was just as silly, so who was I to argue?

And it really did help me sleep better that night. Or maybe it was just the exhaustion cashing in.

Monday morning was _not _sunny. There was a light sprinkle pattering against the glass and, when I looked out the window, fog. Lots of fog.

This got my heart going early.

My one green sweater was unwearable. I needed to do laundry; the ketchup stain wasn't going to make an appearance at school. So I hunted down every green thing I could find in my wardrobe: a pair of green plaid socks, a green baseball hat, and a green bowtie that my dad gave me for Christmas the year before.

I wore them all.

Sweaters and bowties are a bizarre combination.

The hat didn't help things either. (But on a side note: Go VOYAGERS!)

I tucked the rosary into my sweater; it wouldn't do to have it hanging outside, obvious and mock-able. It was hard to make the beads disappear completely; there were always a few of the pink traitors poking out on either side of my neck.

I got a few sideways glances when I reached the rail stop.

_Yes, I am aware that I look like a complete fool. Move along. _

When the rail arrived, I rushed aboard. I walked to the back and took the last seat in the corner, alone. There were giggles and whispers, and in my mind it was all about me. I guess it was just the price I had to pay.

Ava and Aubree came aboard. They waved hello to friends in passing but made their way to the back and took the seat just in front of me.

"Nice hat," Aubree said.

"Team back home," I said. "Good morning, Ava."

She grinned. "Hey, Ethan. How are you today?"

"Dandy. Yourself?"

"Not too bad. Do anything exciting this weekend?"

"Not too much." Why was she putting up the pretense? Aubree knew. She had to know. "You?"

"Oh, you know…the usual," Ava replied, and threw me a wink.

I smiled and shook my head. Aubree rolled her eyes.

Will joined us on the next stop. His eyebrows rose at my outfit, but he didn't comment. He slid into the seat across the aisle from Aubree. The two of them leaned into the walkway and the traditional whispering and snickering began.

"Well, did your hair recover?" Ava asked. "Or is that what the hat is about?"

"It's fine. Just being a little homesick today, I guess."

"Ah," she replied. "And the bowtie?"

"Gift from my dad."

"Okay..." She flipped back around on the seat and looked out the window.

When we got to school, I was determined to not walk alone – I still wanted to avoid Edward Cullen, but now for new and more dangerous reasons. I was no longer worried that he would take his revenge on me via his fist. I was more worried he would use his teeth.

I kept pace with Ava, Aubree, and Will as they crossed the parking lot. The Cullens' car was already pulling out onto the road after having dropped them off. I could see the backs of their heads in front of us. Edward and Bella were holding hands, Jasper trailed just behind tiny Alice, and Emmett had his arm around Rosalie's shoulders.

They walked so smoothly. Like predators.

I had to struggle to convince my feet that it was still a good idea to even head in the same general direction. The biggest thing keeping me moving was the fact that I didn't want to lose the group. And I had my garlic, my cross, my green; I was protected. How well it would work was anyone's guess.

In front of me, Will rambled on about his awesome weekend at his brother's house, and how awesome his brother was, and all the awesome things they did…etc. etc.

I stared at the ground, only flicking my eyes up to the Cullens every once in a while to make sure the group (Clan? Colony? Rookery?) of them was still far enough away from me to be comfortable. Just before we reached my building, we all parted ways with waves and promises of more talk at lunch.

"See you guys," I said. _Watch out for the vampires. (Vampirii? Vampiren?)_

Blissfully unaware, they disappeared around corners and up stairs into other buildings.

I turned for the short stairway to my class and the little hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Standing just outside the front door of the neighboring building seven, Edward Cullen was staring at me.

_Act casual, Ethan. Smile. Wave. _

I smiled. I waved.

Edward nodded in reply.

I fumbled with the knob in front of me before I could get the door open. I rushed in to take my seat.

_There's no way he knows you know, so stop being paranoid. _

I spent that class devising the best ways to stay with the bulk of students as they exited the building. The problem was I had no real friends in the class. I knew the guy at my right was Tom Bert because his bag had a giant tag on it that said "PROPERTY OF TOM BERT. DON'T TOUCH!" And the girl on my left was someone Ava often waved to on the rail. They were the closest things I had to acquaintances.

Well I would just have to lurk in the crowd anyhow.

And so just as the tone sounded for the next class, I was up and out of my seat, walking too closely to Tom Bert.

"You think you'll do okay on the test?" I asked him.

"What test?" he asked. "Do I know you?"

"Sure. Ethan Powell." I pointed a thumb at my chest.

"From where?"

"Here. Just now. We're in this class together…remember?"

We reached the doorway and he left, ignoring me completely. I ran up to squeeze into the closest huddle of students going the same direction as me. I got a few weird looks, but none of them commented on my existence. I abandoned the herd at my next class. When I got inside, I sat in the middle of the room, sweaty and anxious.

And this was my morning. Dashing from class to class, trying to keep in crowds, trying to avoid the Cullens. It was pretty effective. I did see Alice once. She was leaning against building two with her eyes closed. So she didn't see me…luckily.

And then I had lunch. And the impending class with Bella afterward. I was seriously contemplating going home and just chalking it up to a sudden illness, but I would just have to face the music all over again the next day so…

Will was waiting for me at the door. He looped his arm around my neck and began to drag me along with him to the cafeteria.

"Listen, E, we are going to go in there and sit down and have a nice talk, all of us," he said.

"What?" I asked. My eyes darted around the perimeter of the orange door; none of the Cullens were there. Safe entry.

"I'm just saying you should get some good food and sit down with us and listen to what we have to say."

"Okay…" I said. I had learned it was best to just go along with Will and pretend you knew what he was talking about. You didn't have to listen to as much of his nonsense that way. "Whatever you say."

He pushed open the door and escorted me to the lunch line. I grabbed whatever sandwich was handy. He took two of them, and two drinks as well. I followed him back to the table. Everyone else was already there. I picked a chair with a line of sight to the Cullens table in the corner.

"Should we let him eat first?" Will asked Aubree.

Across the room, Bella and Edward were leaning across their table, talking. The others seemed to be looking off in random directions.

"Whatever," Aubree replied.

Ava piped in. "Will, this is silly."

"It's important. C'mon. You _have_ to agree with me."

I wasn't listening. Maybe I should have been.

I was going back and forth between staring at the cheese in my sandwich (and turkey, evidently) and staring at Edward and Bella talking across the room. It looked intense. What my mom would call "not an argument, Ethan, a _discussion." _

"Let the man eat his food," Nate said.

"He's not eating his food, he's staring at it," Will replied. "I'm going to go ahead. He can eat along the way."

Charlotte giggled.

"Ethan," Will said. He cleared his throat when I didn't look at him. "E. Pay attention. This is important."

"Hm?" I finally looked up to see Will staring at me. Actually…the whole table was staring at me.

Will had his serious voice on. "Listen, man, we need to discuss something."

"What's that?"

"Your clothes," he replied soberly.

"What about my clothes?"

"You look a little strange—" he began.

Charlotte cut him off. "We are not here to judge you. We just want to get you some help."

"Help? What do you mean?" I asked.

Aubree chuckled. "We're just saying that you need to wear elsethings. If _Will Yorkie_ can tell you that you look bizarre, you are in a pretty bad place, my friend."

"This is truth." Will nodded. "I take no offense. I mean…you're wearing a bowtie. A green bowtie."

"Bowties are not that bad…" The funny thing was I agreed with them, and I still found myself being defensive.

"And are you aware that you are wearing a pink necklace?" Nate asked.

I had no justification for this.

"So?" I asked.

"So you look like a gay leprechaun," Will said.

They just didn't understand. And what could I do? Explain my reasoning to them?

_Well guys, you see… if I don't wear this stuff I might get eaten by the Cullens over there. What? Why will they eat me? Because they're vampires. You mean this isn't common knowledge? _

"Well…" I had nothing to finish that sentence.

"Well?" Will asked. Nate laughed.

I sighed. "I'll wear something less…insane tomorrow."

"What about today?" Will asked. "Will you at least relinquish the bowtie?"

"No."

"Fine. Be that guy. But tomorrow…"

"Normal clothes. Promise."

Will nodded. "Good man."

I had some laundry to do.

The rookery of vampiren stood to leave. They all walked in perfect fluid strides to the trashcan and threw away their uneaten lunches.

_Maybe _I'm_ lunch. _

And then they were out the door and off to their respective classes. I was running out of time to worry. I would have to sit next to one of them soon enough.

_ Get a grip, Ethan. _

Ava would surely walk with me to class. I even had an excuse to have her along: I could ask her if she had come up with any plans for Friday.

"Well kids, it's pretty foggy out there today," Will said. "I was thinking we should get down to the cemetery again tonight. Weather's good for it."

"It's a school night, Will," Charlotte said.

"C'mon." He nudged Aubree. "That's not stopped us before."

Playing in the dark and foggy cemetery did not sound appealing. I kept my mouth shut.

"I can't," Aubree said. "I've got stuff do."

"Way to be specific, Aub," Will said. "C'mon…please?"

"Not gonna happen tonight." She left it at that.

"You guys are no fun."

The five-minute warning tone sounded. It was time to face my fears. My pulse quickened. My mouth was dry. The rest of the table stood to leave, but I couldn't seem to get my legs to work.

"Ethan?" Ava asked. "You coming?" Nate and Charlotte walked out holding hands. Aubree was not far behind them. Will was fishing through his bag for something.

"Mm…yeah. Sure thing." I picked up my bag, still seated, and put it over my shoulder. I gripped my lunch tray with the other hand.

"It helps if you stand up," she said.

Will caught up with Aubree and they walked out the door.

"Right." I stood up. I knew this because I heard the sound of the chair scooting out from underneath me, and my view shifted a little higher. But it wasn't something I was really controlling.

Ava came over and hooked her arm in mine. "We're gonna be late."

"Right."

"Did your sandwich have garlic on it?" she asked.

"Maybe," I lied.

We started walking forward on her guidance. We dropped my tray and lunch before we stepped out into the fog. It was really thick. I could hear people and see fuzzy shapes in the distance, but if a vampire wanted to jump out at me I would never see it coming…

_Ava isn't safe with me. _

Why was I so convinced they were after _me? _I was just another student to them. Why would they care? I needed to back off on the paranoia. Really.

_I asked her out. He has a reason for revenge. I am surely next. He's going to hunt me down and share me with the rest of them. _

"Would you really be up for bowling on Friday?" Ava asked.

"Anything you want to do, I'm up for it." I said.

_He's going to wait until after school. He's going to get me as I walk to the rail. He's going to break my legs so I can't move and then carry me off into the woods where they are waiting with forks and knives. _

"Yeah, but…are you just saying that because I'm asking? Because I really want to do something that we _both _want to do."

I shrugged. "I like to bowl. There's a place in Polson, I used to go there on Fridays with Jules and Justin. I don't suck."

_Maybe they don't use forks and knives. Maybe they use nothing but their hands and teeth. Sounds painful. _

The door to building three was ten feet away.

"So you're saying you'll give me a run for my money?" she asked.

"I'm saying that I might blow you out of the water, Parson."

The door was seven feet away.

_Maybe they only use forks. As an homage. _

"Well we'll see…Powell."

The door was four feet away.

Three feet.

Two feet.

It was right there.

"Okay. I'll see you after class. I've got to hurry off."

"Okay." My voice was shaky. "See you." _Maybe. Maybe not. _

She gave me a puzzled look and took off into the fog.

I had no excuses. It was time to face my destiny.

I turned to the stairway and gave myself a moment of breathing before I walked up. And then I was taking a step; the moment was too short. I was numb, moving robotically up the stairs, not completely aware of my own legs. I pushed the door open and walked around two students who were hanging up their raincoats.

She was already there. Of course she was. She saw me standing at the front of the class and gave me a tiny, friendly, mouth-closed smile.

_Keep your fangs hidden away, why don't you? _

My heartbeat was pounding through my chest and down my legs and arms. I felt like the whole of me was shaking slightly with the rhythm. The legs were still moving. They were taking me to the corner whether I wanted to go or not.

"Hello, Ethan," she said. Her voice was calm, modulated. "How are you today?"

I coughed and took my seat. "Fine," I eked out.

I pulled the notebook out of my bag and turned it on. My hands were shaking against the keys.

"I was wondering if I could ask you something," she said. She looked at me, her head tilted downward slightly. She was wearing a light blue dress with a little ruffle around the bottom. She had on white tights underneath it; her legs were crossed at the ankles.

"Ask me something?"

"After class I mean. I don't want to interrupt…"

Mr. Barrett stepped up to the front of the room. "Good afternoon everyone. I'm sending you the results of the pop quiz today, along with individualized lesson plans to help you each cover the information on the questions you missed…"

"After class?" I whispered. _Ohgodohgodohgod…_ "Interrupt?"

"You know, the lesson," she whispered back. "We'll talk after."

The lesson plan that came up on my screen outlined my homework – pretty much the entirety of the chapters we had covered before the quiz. I had managed to get a C minus.

_Excellent job. _

The new lecture slides took over my notebook screen and Mr. Barrett began to talk about the importance of public participation in the political system. I couldn't hear him. Well…I mean, I could hear him, but the words were not really registering. Halfway through the lecture a little box appeared on my screen.

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] You. Did. Not. Call._

The one and only person I have ever known who could bypass student mode _in a school_.

_[Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I'm so sorry, Jules. I completely forgot. _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] This is not a good excuse. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I know. I'm sorry. _

Beside me, Bella uncrossed her legs and itched her arm.

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] So now I have to ask for details over this damn thing. I don't even get to hear you freak out. Oh well…_

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] You do realize that I am at school right now, right?_

Bella's typing stopped for just a brief second, and then she picked up again.

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Go. Now. Information, Eepers_

_[Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] What do you want to hear? It was a movie – The Last Ending. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Well that's a given. But did you guys make out through the whole of the thing? _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] No. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Why not? What happened?_

I didn't reply. I thought about just shutting the notebook, but that would be suspicious. Mr. Barrett wouldn't let me get through the class without it open to take notes and follow along with the lesson slides. Especially not after that last grade. And the conversation was actually annoying enough to hold my attention from the fact that the girl beside me equaled impending doom.

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] You owe me this. _

_[Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] …I fell asleep. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] What? _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I fell asleep. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] How could you…? _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I was tired. I fell asleep. That's the story. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] The whole movie? _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] The whole movie. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Poor Ava. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I know…I know. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Well did she yell at you or something? _

_[Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] Nope. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Damn. The girl's got patience. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I guess. We're going out again this weekend. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Good for you. Though now that I think about it…_

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] What? _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Don't you see? She got her second date without really trying. And it's not like you're seeing anyone else. You guys are practically dating exclusively. In reality…she's your girlfriend. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] She's not my girlfriend. Don't get ahead of yourself._

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] If you think about…you're practically married to the girl. I mean you're not going to date anyone else from your circle of friends. Charlotte's got Nate, and Aubree's a bitch so…_

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] How do you even get to married? And how do you know about Nate and Charlotte? _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Jules knows all. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] Whatever. _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] So you won't go out with Ava or Charlotte…pretty much ever, and knowing you…you're not going to date _outside _the circle of friends. Forks ain't that big a town. Slim pickins. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] Are you finished yet? _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] You and Ava go out this weekend, you actually stay awake this time. Wait. Activity? _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] Bowling. _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Ah, good. So you get to show off a little. Unless you throw the game to make her feel good. But she'll know you're doing it on purpose. She's already smitten with you, so the smittenness turns to love over rented shoes and chili-cheese fries…_

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] Jules. I'm at school. This is getting long. _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] And you become official by Monday. You're holding hands in between classes. Weekends at the beach. Summers up here with your dad. Junior year turns to senior year. Senior year is rocky, you're on-again, off-again, but ultimately the impending graduation makes you nostalgic and you can't help but cling to each other through the pomp and circumstance…_

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] You think about my life way too much. _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] You are UMT-bound, she's going to an art school in Seattle. Long distance is hard as freshies. But you try. And when the final string breaks its really the loss of the decade…_

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] You just know I can't shut the notebook during class. _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] You date a little in college, but nothing really sticks. You are still thinking about her. You can't help it. And then, after graduation, you move back home for a while before you can get your own feet on the ground, career-wise…_

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] Jules. _

_ [Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] You're out in town running errands one day and who do you see…who just happens to be opening up a gallery on Main Street? Ava Parson. The one and only. You get to talking, catching up on the college years, reminiscing about the good ole' days at Forks High, and you realize you should have never let her go… You're engaged a month later. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] No. Not going to happen. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Hmm…or perhaps…are we still holding a candle for Bella Black? _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] Gah. No. Stop. I'm going to leave now. I have work to do. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Touchy, touchy. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I'll call you later. _

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] I won't hold my breath. _

_ [Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I will. I promise. Tonight after dinner. Later, Jules._

_[Jules Appleby, Destroyer of Worlds] Sleepyhead. _

And the little box disappeared from my screen.

If nothing else, Jules had a good sense of timing. Ten seconds after she signed off, the end-of-class tone sounded. Bella already had her notebook shut and was putting it in her bag. She cleared her throat.

"So, Ethan, would you walk with me for a minute? I just wanted to talk to you about something."

"Um. I…um."

Her gold eyes were burning into mine. I couldn't move. I couldn't even blink.

"It won't be that long. I promise." She looked down at her bag just long enough for me to gather my wits. But then I was noticing the ruffles, and the legs…

_Creature of the night, Ethan. Deadly. Dangerous…_

_ …but so so pretty. _

"Um. I have to…I don't know if…" I shut my notebook and dropped it into my bag. The words came in a rush. "I really don't have time today. Maybe another day. Sorry."

"Oh. Okay, but—"

Before she could continue that thought, I was out of the chair and walking to the door. I didn't want to get caught in her stare again. And evidently the dress wasn't helping things either.

Ava was walking up to the building as I stepped outside. Two yards behind her, Edward was on his way to meet up with Bella. He didn't look too happy. Luckily for me, Ava was a good buffer. Certainly he wouldn't try anything with other people around as witnesses.

Right?

_Let's not take any chances. _

"Let's go," I said the minute Ava was in hearing distance.

"Where's the fire?" she asked. "What about everyone else?"

"Um. They can meet us there. I want to get good seats."

"Okay…" But she didn't question me further.

I let myself peek once over my shoulder when we were halfway across the parking lot. Edward and Bella were staring at me. They didn't even bother to look away when they saw me look back at them. In fact, the other Cullens met up with them in front of building three and they all joined in staring me down.

Edward looked unhappy, Bella looked confused, and the others…just blank faces, with burning golden eyes.

I turned back to look at the rail. What I had done to offend them, I didn't know. But I had somehow brought them all down on me. Just because I wouldn't talk to Bella…alone?

Maybe they knew that I knew.

Or maybe they just figured I was the easiest prey. New guy comes to town…who would really care if he just disappeared?

Pretty much no one.

I stepped onto the rail and quietly chanted for it to hurry up and leave. We sat there, waiting, for at least ten minutes. My leg bounced up and down and I stole glances out the window, watching the Cullens' exit. None of them got on the rail, thankfully. Their ride arrived and they filed into the car. Edward and Jasper started up their bikes and peeled out of the parking lot.

I had a fleeting thought about Emmett…why didn't he use a bike?

He probably didn't fit.

A nervous giggle escaped as I pictured what would be a very uncomfortable Emmett Cullen trying to stay upright on the tiny half-electric bike.

"What's so funny?" Ava asked.

"Nothing. I just remembered…I…I'm wearing a bowtie."

"Yes, you are." She giggled too.

_ Good save, Ethan. _

The rail closed its doors and we left for home. I was safe. One day down, the rest of my high school career to go.

_I wonder what mom would say about home school. _

***

Home was a very welcome sight. The moment I saw it from the rail I was breathing easier, and my stomach started to growl furiously. I wished Ava, Aubree, and Will a good night and jumped off the step, practically giddy with relief. It didn't matter that I had to see them again tomorrow. Tomorrow didn't exist. Now did. And now was good. Even the fog didn't bother me.

I could smell the chicken in the bushes once I hit the porch. No wonder it was supposed to ward off vampires, it was horrible. I wondered if Aunt Madison had noticed it at all when she left for work that morning.

There was no happy-go-lucky mother waiting for me as I walked in the front door. I peeked around to the kitchen, and she wasn't there either. I could hear a chuckle coming from the living room – low-pitched, masculine. And then my mom's accompanying laughter.

_And so the dating begins…_

I didn't think it would be so soon.

I was just going to walk upstairs. Maybe if I was quiet enough, they wouldn't notice me as I passed, and I wouldn't have to be introduced to whoever the guy was. I was not interested in getting to know my mother's conquests.

I kept my eyes forward, trained on the stairs. I took a breath and held it as I zipped past the doorway to the living room.

My foot was on the stair, my hand on the rail, when I heard, "Ethan! Are you there?"

_Damn it. _

There was a shuffling noise and I recognized mom's footsteps headed my way.

I had a brief thought that I could make it upstairs before she got to me, but I didn't act fast enough. She was staring at me from the doorway.

"You're home. Finally."

"I get home the same time every day, Mom," I said. "It's not like I can control the speed of the rail."

"I know, I know, I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was, we have company."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, they've been waiting for you. Your friends from school?"

_My friends from school? _Ava, Aubree and Will were on the rail. _Nate and Charlotte? _

"C'mon, they said they just dropped by to say hi and talk to you about some school project. I would imagine they have to get home at some point for dinner. Their families are bound to be waiting for them."

_School project? _I dropped my bag by the stair and followed my mom.

"You were right, it was him. You have some good ears," she said as she stepped from the hall to the carpeted floor of the living room. I turned around the corner and froze in the doorway.

It was _not _Nate and Charlotte.

"Hey Ethan," Bella said. She was sitting on my Aunt Madison's old-fashioned tan couch. Edward was beside her with his arm resting on the back of the sofa. They looked comfortable, relaxed.

_She invited them in. _

"Um. Hi."

"Well I'll let you kids get to work," Mom said. "I know you have to get it all done before you go home. Are you sure I can't get you anything to drink? Edward?"

_She's offering them drinks. What a laugh. _

He raised his hand and smiled. "No, thanks. I'm fine."

_Because dinner just arrived. _

Mom nodded and put her hand on my shoulder. "I'm going to run into town to get some stuff for dinner. Do you need anything from the store?"

_At least she will be safe. Maybe they'll leave when they're finished with me. _

"No," I replied.

"Ethan, you look pale. Have you been feeling okay?" She put her hand on my forehead.

"I'm fine." _Get out of here. Go. GO. _

"Okay." She looked over at the couple on the sofa briefly and then whispered, "Don't mean to embarrass you. Sorry. I'm gone."

I waited in the doorway until I heard the front door click home and the lock turn.

"Ethan," Edward said. "We won't stay long."

Bella and I stared at each other, and I understood. It was all very simple. She was only here to play a role – the hunter. And I was the prey. Nothing more.

The face I once found beautiful now terrified me. The sad part was…I was slowly realizing that, in the short time I had been a resident of Forks, I had always been obsessed with her in one way or another. In the beginning it was just the girl I poured over, a reason to go to school at all. Then the ghost story, something to ponder in the long, dull days. And now here she was again, the subject of my worst fears come true. Bella Black…Swan…Cullen…whatever the hell she wanted to be called…she was what my whole life was now _about. _It seemed fitting she would be the end of me here too.

My voice was even, resigned. "So," I said. "What did you want?"

* * *

**SORRY! I know. I'm a horrible person.**

**Thoughts? Questions? Death threats?**


	11. Chapter 11

**a/n: I said Tuesday, and by gum I'll make it happen on Tuesday. (Did I just say 'by gum'?)**

**Thanks to AZBella again. Without her, I think this chapter might be like three words long. Those three words: "This sucks. Yeah."**

**Thank you to the lovelies at [t20s]. I can't really thank them enough for the enthusiasm. Keeps me going.**

**Thanks to the reviewers again! OME you guys...you're like the bestest ever. (I ran out of eloquence a long time ago.)**

**Thanks always to the lovely, hard-working crew of Project Team Beta for helping me edit to a second draft. **

**And on with the show. Today I am Team Jasper.

* * *

**

Chapter 11

"We just wanted to talk," Bella said.

It was one of those life-altering moments. (Life-ending?) Maybe not the kind that people usually have, but I knew it would change me nonetheless. Here I was, standing in my living room doorway, looking across Aunt Madison's small living room to a couple of _vampires _who wanted to have a little "chat" with me.

I seemed to be doing a lot of chatting with vampires lately. Probably a lot more than was healthy.

Bella looked over at Edward. Who gets to break the news? _Ethan, we're here to have you for dinner. _

He nodded at her.

"We wanted to ask you what you know. About us…" she said.

"About…what we are," he said.

So they knew that I knew. Even more reason to kill me dead. _Great._

I took the chair across from them. It was one of those wooden ones with the giant springy cushions. Aunt Madison had reupholstered it recently – pink with little white flowers. I rapped my fingers on the polished wood of the armrest. It was dark – cherry, perhaps.

Maybe lies were best. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do," Edward said, no longer the cheerful face he had for my mom. "Vampires."

I giggled. I couldn't help it. As many times as I had thought the word, I had never said it out loud. It felt so…wrong…to hear him say it. My chair squeaked.

"Ethan," Bella said. "We just need to hear you say that you're not going to tell anyone. That you haven't mentioned it to anyone already…"

_Yeah, I'm gonna tell the whole town. And then they'll lock me in a white padded cell for the rest of my life._

They were just trying to find out who else was on the to-die list.

"I haven't said anything. To anyone," I said. It was the only admission I could give them. And I was never more thankful for having kept secrets, because that lie wouldn't have escaped them. Then they would have had to torture me find out who else knew. I wanted to be perfectly clear. "I swear I haven't breathed a word of it."

"No one? At all?" Edward asked. He stared at me, unblinking.

_Who would I tell? _"No one."

Somewhere in the darker rooms of the house, Aunt Madison's old clock ticked.

He nodded. "Alright. I believe you."

_So I've been a good boy. Does this mean I get the less painful death? _I was gripping the armrests of the chair like a life preserver.

Edward gave a half smile and stood from the couch. I flinched about a half-foot, squinting against the oncoming pain. But he didn't come any closer to me. He leaned down and kissed the top of Bella's head.

"I'll leave it to you," he said. "I'll see you later tonight."

"Okay," she replied. "Be safe."

He chuckled softly and…disappeared. My eyes registered some sort of movement, but it was too fast to follow. His motion left a wake of wind; the curtains tossed. My hair ruffled, as did the edge of Bella's dress and her light curls.

My mouth was hanging open.

"Could we go for a walk?" she asked.

So Bella got the honors then. I have to admit, I was kind of glad she was the one.

_Out of the house? Sure. Anything to put distance between you and my family…though it doesn't look like that's much of an issue anymore. _

"Okay," I replied. I shoved my hand in my pocket and gripped the wooden stake I had whittled from the mop handle. It was time to put it to use. If I could.

She stood from the couch and followed me out of the room. I was memorizing the lines in the wood floor, the pattern of the rug. When we reached the front door my fingers gripped the knob and I took a moment to appreciate the cool metal. And then I was out of the house. I locked the door behind me. It all seemed so quick.

We didn't head down the driveway, but instead walked around the side of the house to the forest. There was a little path that wandered through the trees, hard to see in the fog, but there. For a couple of minutes, neither of us spoke. I was listening to the wet gravel crunching under my feet.

_Well, if Bella has her way, I won't have to worry about the bad weather anymore. From what I understand, there is no rain in either direction. _

When we were a good thirty feet down the path she asked, "How did you find out?"

There was no reason to lie. I didn't want to go out that way. "I just…figured it out."

"Quite an assumption to make. Vampires, Ethan? Really?" She gave me a small, mocking smile.

"I had a lot of sillier ideas before I came to that conclusion."

"Radioactive spider bites?" she asked.

"What?"

She chuckled. "Never mind."

I kicked a stray rock down the path and surreptitiously adjusted my grip on the stake. It was getting slippery in my sweaty hand. "I thought you were a ghost at first. But just you. I didn't even have the others in the equation."

"Why did you think anything about me at all? If you don't mind me asking." There was no whisper of skin against fabric as she moved. The sound of her feet on the dirt was minimal. If I didn't see her in my periphery, I wouldn't have known she was there.

"I don't mind," I replied. My heart was thrumming. "It feels good to talk about this, actually. In a weird way."

"I completely understand," she said.

"Well…I saw you at the cemetery. You and Edward, visiting Charlie Swan's grave."

Her face went blank. "And someone told you about my dad."

It was very bizarre to have her admit it. "Yeah. Some of the local kids told me the story of Isabella Swan. But that's all it was to them, a ghost story. I swear…"

"I know."

I sighed. "Well, it was just…weird…that you would even care. And I started thinking of ways I could learn more about you, the _old_ you. Because the way they described her, she sounded like you, the _now_ you. And I wanted to know how you two were connected. It was a mystery. I couldn't help it."

"But how did you…?"

"Up in the attic I found an old box of stuff. Carter's great-grandpa's school trophies…and yearbooks."

She nodded. Her curls moved softly against her shoulders. "Ah. You found me in one of them."

"Yeah," I replied.

How could I kill her? How could I even _think _about killing her? Even if she was lethal, even if she was going to end my life here and now, it was so hard to think about attacking her. She was, well, a _she. _

I wiped off my hand on the lining of my pocket and gripped the stake again.

"And then you saw the Cullens listed?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No. Actually, that came way later. I didn't even think to check. I was just certain you were the undead."

"Well…I am."

"But not like that. I thought you were a zombie or a ghost or something. I even had a theory about a robot…no, never mind."

She chuckled. "Okay. Then…how did you get to vampires?"

"Well…" I did have one lie to tell. I hoped she wouldn't see through it. "I tracked down your marriage license. And it had his name on it."

"A matter of public record."

"Exactly."

"Interesting," she said. "Well, there's a base we can cover better." She smiled.

She was still beautiful. She was still beyond me. And it didn't matter that she was going to be the end of me. I could still appreciate the way her hair fell, the contrast of her bright lips against her pale skin, the way her dress hugged her figure…

I was staring at her again.

Oh well. Perhaps she would understand. A dying man's last wish and all that.

I hoped she would give me a couple answers before… It was only a matter of courtesy. "I have to know one thing. How did you know that I knew?" I asked.

"It wasn't that hard. Have you looked in the mirror, Ethan?" Her smile was teasing.

"Oh."

"I can see the imprint of the cross around your neck through your sweater. And we could smell the garlic from a mile away. Literally. Not to mention the ridiculous accessories." She reached up and tugged on my bow tie.

"I take it this isn't helping me any?" I asked, suppressing a cringe as she came so close.

"They're nothing but myths, sorry. And the stake in your pocket isn't going to help, either."

My shoulders sagged. Honestly, it was more relief than anything else. I pulled the stake out of my pocket, ashamed. It was like confessing to having some sort of illegal substance. I studied it; my hand was red from holding it so tightly.

It was just an overgrown splinter. Even I could tell how silly it looked.

"Well, I had to try." I tossed it into the trees. It whistled as it went and landed with a far-off thud.

We walked a little bit longer before she picked up the conversation again.

"They can be helpful sometimes for us. They let us know when people are growing suspicious. Actually, you can blame Jasper for the green stuff. He started that rumor. Easier combination to spot – green, garlic, crosses."

"Oh."

"Though St. Patrick's day can be a little confusing. And Italian restaurants."

We came to a small break in the trees. There was a boulder off to one side and I went to sit down. I closed my eyes and took a moment to just listen to the world around me, the hushed air, the crackling noises of little animals in the pine needles behind us. The rock wasn't comfortable, but I could still be grateful for what it was.

"Well," she said. "I guess that's about it."

It was time. It was going to happen now.

_Now. _

"Yeah. Okay. I get that."

It wasn't enough. There were so many things I still wanted to do, things I had to say. I didn't get a chance to tell anyone back home how much I missed them. Not really. And Jules! Jules! I was going to break her heart. I could only hope that she was strong enough to take it. Knowing her, she could survive anything, and she still had Justin so…

…but it wasn't the same.

_Now? _

Mom would blame herself for bringing me to Forks in the first place. Aunt Madison would blame herself for suggesting it or for not warning me about the dangers of the forest, or something. Not to mention the kids at school. Well…they might just have a moment and move on. Except Ava. God, I could do no right by that girl. At every turn I was letting her down. I was going to mess up another date.

_Now?_

Here I was, about to die, and all I could think was how horrible it was going to be for everyone else. I felt _guilty. _

_ Now?_

_ Now? _

The word had lost all meaning.

"Anything else you want to say?' she asked.

So much. Too much. There was no time for any of it.

I was bizarrely calm for the moment. "Um…stay away from my family and friends? I'd really like it if you didn't eat them, too."

I closed my eyes again. I didn't want to _see _her do it. I didn't want the pretty image of Bella ruined by the face she was about to make. Feral. Savage. And I was pretty sure I didn't want to watch her eat if I was going to be at all conscious for any portion of the event.

_Now._

"Ethan," she said. "I'm not going to _eat _you."

_Wait. What? _

I took a deep breath. Let it out.

I opened my eyes. "Wait. What?"

She was laughing, like it was the most ridiculous idea in the world. "I'm not going to eat you. Don't be silly."

"But you're a vampire. Isn't that what you do?"

_Yes, Ethan, please continue trying to convince her to kill you. _

"No!" She was laughing harder now. "You mean all this time, you thought I was taking you out here to…?"

"I figured that was the general idea, yeah." My skin went cold, and then immediately hot. My heart picked up pace, beating overtime, as though it was recovering from being resigned to its silent fate.

She shook her head. "No, no, we don't do that. Animals only. No people."

And then…I was a little miffed. I should have been relieved, but instead, I found myself on my feet, shouting. "You couldn't have told me that at the beginning? Might have saved me a lot of stress. 'Hey, Ethan, we know you know we're vampires. Oh, and by the way, we won't eat you. Promise.'"

The laughter subsided. "I'm sorry. I realize that you are completely justified in that conclusion. I forget sometimes how much _we_ are the minority in our species."

"I mean, here I am, thinking I'm about to _die _and_…" _I swallowed. "Hold on. Minority?"

"Well, there are others out there. Not as…nice as us."

_Oh great. _

"You really just wanted to know how I found out?" I asked.

"Well people aren't really supposed to know. We wanted to make sure you were the only one, and that it wasn't something others could figure out easily, that we weren't leaving clues."

"Oh. What would you have done if…?"

"I don't know." She looked off into the trees, to some place my eyes couldn't see. "Honestly, we're usually long gone by now. The moment we think someone has grown suspicious, we leave town."

"Why did you stay this time?"

Her forehead crinkled, her eyes still distant. "We've got a family…situation going on right now. So we can't."

It seemed that was all I was going to get. "I see."

"Ethan, can I ask you a weird question?"

_Right. Because the rest of this conversation has been _very_ normal. _"Um. Sure."

"When did you first decide to go to the beach?" she asked.

"The beach?"

"First beach. You guys took a trip down there recently, right?"

"Sure. We went last Friday."

"Did you have plans to do that earlier? Like when you first came into town, did you see the ocean on the way in and have a plan to go down there at some point?"

_What the hell does this have to do with anything? _"Um. No. Not really. It was all Will's doing. He brought it up last Tuesday I think."

"Oh. Okay."

"Why do you—"

She cut me off. "I should get home. You should, too. Your Aunt Madison is just around the corner."

_How could she…? Oh. Right. Vampire. Vampires do it better. _This was going to take some getting used to. "Okay. I guess I'll see you at school."

She nodded. "Keep it to yourself, Ethan. No one can know."

"I know. I will."

She turned for the forest.

"Aren't you taking the rail?" I asked.

She smiled. "It's faster just to run."

"Oh. Well…safe trip?"

"Thanks."

And then she was gone.

***

When I got back to the house, Bella was right. Aunt Madison was already parked in the driveway, locking up the car. I wandered over to her from the fringe of the forest.

"Hey, kid," she said. "Where's your mom?"

I shrugged. "Went to the store. I'm surprised you didn't see her in passing."

"Where were you?" she asked.

"I just went for a little walk. I haven't really taken the time to appreciate the nature up here, so I thought I would while it wasn't raining." I was getting a lot better at that whole "lying" thing.

She grabbed her bag and headed for the steps. "Hard to do when it's pea soup, I imagine."

"You know, it doesn't really bother me that much." I was grinning.

She ruffled my hair as she passed by. "You are a funny kid, you know that?"

"I do."

I walked up the steps behind her and waited as she unlocked the door. She flipped all the lights on as she walked inside and shrugged off her jacket. The house was a beautiful sight.

"Did your mom say when she'd be home?" she asked.

"She'll be home soon. She was getting stuff for dinner."

And then something occurred to me: I was alive. I was _still_ alive. Something about the way the living room looked from the hall…it clicked. I didn't really believe I would make it back to this place again. I wasn't planning on ever talking to Aunt Madison again. Or Mom. And yet, here I was.

The grin grew wider.

"What's with you?" Aunt Madison chuckled. "Does this have something to do with Ava Parson?"

It in no way had anything to do with Ava Parson. "Just happy."

"Well…good." She reached into her purse, rifling through whatever it was that women kept in those things. "I almost forgot…"

"What?"

"Oh, Jeremy stopped by today." She pulled out a folded piece of paper. "He said to give you this."

_A paper note? How quaint. _

"Thanks."

It read:

_Hey Ethan, _

_ Do you think you could teach me how to tie a knot so it doesn't come undone on its own and make me fall to my death? That would be great. Diner tomorrow, after you get out of work. _

I shoved the note in my pocket as my mom pulled into the driveway.

"I'm going to go help with the bags," I said. I whistled my way back outside. Aunt Madison was chuckling in the background.

"There's only the two, Ethan," Mom said. She had a grocery bag in either hand.

"Well, I can take them for you," I said. I held out my hands and she passed them over to me. It looked like she was planning on making hamburgers for dinner – my favorite.

"Thank you, dear. That's awfully sweet," Mom said.

We walked back inside. I helped her unload everything and even helped with the vegetable chopping. Through it all, Aunt Madison kept chuckling, and it wasn't lost on me.

"So, how did the little study session go?" Mom asked.

"Huh?" I replied.

"With Edward and Bella?" She put on a pot of water to boil. "Edward seems like such a nice boy. I hope you guys are good friends. He's really a tribute to his father. You can tell where he gets his looks, that's for sure."

I groaned. "He's _adopted,_ Mom."

"Oh," she replied. "I didn't know that."

I rolled my eyes. "The study session was fine."

"And Bella? Such a sweet young lady. I wish you could meet someone like her…"

"Mom."

"That reminds me. We never did talk about your _date_ on Saturday. Who was the girl again?"

From the kitchen table, Aunt Madison piped in. "Ava Parson."

"Right. Ava Parson," Mom said. She was smiling into the pot as she sprinkled salt into the water. "And when do I get to meet Miss Parson?"

"I don't know. New subject, please." They were ruining my not-dead good mood.

"Oh, Ethan, just talk to me, won't you?" Mom asked. She put her arm around my shoulders. "I know I'm not your father, but you can at least _talk _to me."

"Um. No." _At least not about Ava. _

The arm fell. "Oh. Okay."

"I think I'm going to go upstairs and work on homework for a little while," I said.

"Alright, dear," Mom replied.

I walked up to the second floor and their conversation picked up before I reached the hall. I waited on the landing, listening.

"I don't understand," Mom said. "What am I doing wrong?"

"He's a teenage boy," Aunt Madison replied. "He's fickle of heart and shy about girls. It's not uncommon."

"What do you mean, 'fickle of heart'?"

I sat down on the stair.

"I don't think it's Ava Parson who he's after, Emma."

"Oh no?" Mom asked.

"Didn't you say that Bella Black came over today?"

"They were both here, Edward and Bella. For some study project."

Aunt Madison didn't reply.

"Oh," Mom said. "Ohh…"

"He was practically beaming when I got home," Aunt Madison said.

I heard a package being opened, something being added to the water bubbling on the stove. "But she's got Edward. They're such a cute couple. I don't see how…"

"It's my fault, really," Aunt Madison said.

"How?" Mom asked.

Aunt Madison cleared her throat. "I may have said something about 'boyfriend' not meaning the same thing as 'husband.'"

"Oh, Maddy, you didn't."

"I've never met the guy. It's not like I really had any frame of reference. His brothers have been in the shop once or twice. And Bella once."

"Well…then there's the matter of that Ava girl."

Aunt Madison sighed. "She is clearly head over heels for Ethan. I wish he could see it."

"He's going to break her heart, isn't he?"

"He just doesn't feel the same way."

Mom's voice was quieter, a murmur. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, they say."

"Did the papers go through?"

A pause. A strangled sigh. "It's official."

"It's a good thing, Emma," Aunt Madison said.

"I know."

I stood up and turned back to the hall. I might not have been a vampire, but if needed, I could walk without anyone hearing me, too.

***

After dinner, I called Jules as I said I would. I wasn't sure what more she wanted to talk about, but I had made a promise to her. I got the feeling she wasn't too happy with me, and I really wanted to hear her voice again, now that I wasn't going to be a headline on the 7:00 Tri-State Update.

"So," she said. "He actually called."

Yep. Not very happy. "I told you I would."

"Just like you said you would call Saturday night."

I sat down at my desk, spinning around in my chair once. "I forgot, Jules. I said I was sorry."

"I think that town is getting to you," she said. "Maybe all that rain has dripped into your ears and found its way to your brain."

"Nothing I say is going to change this, is it?" I asked.

"Nope. Best to wait 'til it peters out. My moods kill themselves eventually."

I chuckled. "Fair enough."

"So tell me again. What happened at the movie?"

I closed my eyes and leaned back in the chair. "You heard the story. Why do you want me to tell it again?"

She groaned. "Because I didn't get to _hear_ it. I had to read it. It's always better when I get to hear it."

"Fine," I agreed with a sigh. "I fell asleep."

"No flourish? No build up? Where's the crescendo in the story? How can I ever fully appreciate the tragedy of your mistake if you don't _tell it right?" _

"Date with Ava. Movie. Lights went down. I fell asleep. She woke me up when it was over." The laughter that followed bounced around her room. She didn't even stop to catch her breath. I found myself smiling despite the humiliation. "Jules. Breathe."

"Right." More laughter. "Getting to that part."

"Please do."

"Whew." She took a couple breaths. "You are a great source of entertainment, Eepers. What can I say?"

"Glad to serve." I turned on my notebook. "So…I think the divorce is final."

"Yeah. I heard."

"How did _you _hear? I mean my mom hasn't really even told _me_ officially…"

"Justin told me, actually."

"How did he—"

"I don't know. But he knew." A beat of silence. "I'm sorry, Ethan."

"It's okay. It's not something we didn't already know was coming." I wasn't lying. I really was okay with it. It was what was better for the both of them. And my mom deserved to be happy.

"True." She sighed. I heard her keystrokes pick up in the background. "You're going to be up here for summer, right?"

"I plan on it, even if I don't stay with my dad. Maybe I'll just stay at your place."

"Okay."

"Listen, Jules, you know that I miss you, right? And Justin, too. I never call him anymore. I should."

"He knows. You could send him a message every once in a while. He got his early acceptance."

"That's great," I replied. "That's really great."

"And I know you miss me," she said. "Of course you do. You have to. It's the law or something."

"That's right. It's the Law of Appropriate Appreciation."

"Section three, bylaw seven, states," she took a deep breath, "'If at any time Ethan Powell is more than thirty miles away from Jules Appleby for more than a three-day period, he is required to have and express feelings of anxiety over the lack of her presence in his life.'"

"Well, consider me a law-abiding citizen."

"You always have been."

Outside, a gentle pattering picked up against the window. I stood up and walked over to the glass. The leaves in the tree outside tossed in the wind. The fog was receding and the grass that I could see sparkled with new life, wet and shining in the streetlight.

I laughed.

"What?" Jules asked.

"Nothing. It's just…it's raining. Again."

* * *

**So some questions answered perhaps? New ones to be had?**

**I'm gonna say that this whole 'week between updates' thing is probably gonna be my usual routine. I have a lot of work ish going down right now. So, sorry for that.**

**If you haven't already, please have a looksee at "Grace Note" which is the companion to this fic. Well, if you like angst that is.**

**And if you want, drop me a review. I'd love to hear all y'all's thoughts. (Bonus points for use of two single quotation marks in one word?)**


	12. Chapter 12

**a/n: Man this was hard. Sorry I didn't make your deadline, Nae. Wish I could have.**

**Usual thankings go to:**

**-AZBella for her eyes. Thanks for making me not throw it away and start over again. Heh.**

**-Girls of [t20s]. You complete me.**

**-All of you in reviewerland. It totally makes my whole week to hear what you have to say.**

**-Project Team Beta for telling me how to make it better than the first time 'round. **

**This chapter is dedicated to BabySis and her Epic Comments of Doom.**

**And today I am Team Will.

* * *

**

Chapter 12

Boy, was I happy when I woke up the next day. I wasn't going to die. I wouldn't have to worry about Edward Cullen's fists or teeth. And, best of all, I didn't have to wear pink beads and a bow tie anymore.

Life was grand.

After I got off the phone with Jules that night, I finished one of my more major assignments (also known as Government review), got a healthy eight hours of sleep, and felt ready to face the day. I walked downstairs with a light step, my bag slung over my shoulder. I was actually looking forward to school again.

Mom was making eggs with her fancy clothes on. She poured me a glass of orange juice and put a plate of food on the kitchen table for me.

"You look nice today, Mom," I said as I sat down.

"Thanks, hon." She brushed her hand over her sleeve. "I have a couple meetings with contractors about refurbishing a space for my practice."

"That's good," I replied.

She spread butter across a bagel. "I probably won't be home for dinner tonight. Madison said she would take care of it."

"Okay, no problem," I said between mouthfuls.

"Ethan, I've noticed you seem a little more chipper than usual." She brought her bagel over to the table and took a seat beside me. "And I was wondering…why is that, do you think?"

I shrugged. "Life isn't so bad here after all, I guess."

"Getting used to the town?"

"Yeah. You could say that."

"That's good to hear. We should take some time to get out and do something together. Just the two of us. Maybe have dinner in town?"

I was in a good mood, but I wasn't sure it was _that _good of a mood. "Um. Okay."

"You and me, kid. We'll be fine." Mom ruffled my hair and stood to head out of the room. She disappeared into the hall with the half a bagel in her mouth. Just after she stepped out, my headset went off in my ear. The voice was pleasant, even if the message wasn't.

"Bradley Powell calling."

_What? No…_

I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer it or not. Truth be told, I was still angry with him. But I had things to say. Things to ask. A lot of stuff resting on my chest.

And he was still my father.

"Mom!" I called back into the house. I picked up the plate and scraped what was left of my food into the disposal unit. "I'm headed out!"

The headset continued to talk to me. "Bradley Powell calling."

"Okay!" Mom called back. I heard her footsteps and then her head popped out from around the corner. "Did you finish your breakfast?"

It was on the third ring. "Bradley Powell calling." I walked over to the front door.

"Yeah. Of course," I said as I opened the door. I needed to get out of there.

"Okay. Bye then."

I didn't turn. "Bye."

"Bradley Powell calling."

I shut the door behind me and reached up to answer the call at almost the same time. "Dad."

"Hey, Sport!" he said. His voice was far too enthusiastic for the conversation I was planning. But I will admit, it was hard not to be a little bit happy that he had called me. I missed him, whether I wanted to or not.

"What do you want?" I asked. I walked down the stairs, trying to get as much distance from the house as possible.

"I just wanted to talk to you. I haven't seen you in almost three weeks. You didn't say goodbye. Your _mother—"_ He could turn it into an insult, too.

"What do you _want_, Dad?" I shuffled down the walk. When there was enough space between me and the house, I started pacing my walk to the rail. It wouldn't do to have this particular conversation surrounded by the other students who waited at my stop.

"I just wanted to talk to you. That's all, Ethan. I promise."

"Okay."

"How are you? I miss you, buddy."

"I'm fine."

"How is the new school?" he asked.

"Fine."

"That's good to hear. You're making friends over there?"

"Sure." I was watching my feet as I walked. The fog from the day before had let up. It was nice to be able to see things again.

"Good." He sighed. "So I imagine your mom has talked to you about this whole thing."

"A little."

"I want you to know it has nothing to do with you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I know."

"Because I would give anything to have you back again. I wish you could just live here. I don't know why some podunk town in Washington is the answer…"

"Dad."

"Sorry. All I am trying to say is…if you wanted to live here with Claudia and me, we would be glad to have you—"

_Claudia? As in Claudia Cheff? _"No. I…can't."

"Listen, your mother and I had a long discussion about this yesterday, and we both agreed that it is your decision who you want to live with. I know she's gunning for you to stay there, but Ethan, it's _your choice._"

This was new information.

The rail stop was just up ahead and I was having a hard time finding a way to close the conversation. Possibly because I didn't want to.

"You have to be missing Jules about now. And Justin?"

"Well, sure, but I'm surviving."

I lingered at the edge of the crowd, trying to keep out of hearing range. The rail was growing close.

He sighed. "Well, just tell me you'll think it over. That's all I really want. Think about it."

"Okay." The rail parked itself in front of the stop and kids started to get on. "I've got to go, Dad. Rail's here."

"Sure thing. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay."

"Bye, Ethan. Miss you, kid."

"Bye, Dad." I hung up and stepped aboard before the rail could leave me behind. I walked to the back corner seat and began my sulking.

So I hadn't yelled at him for ruining everything. I had been telling myself almost daily that when I got a chance to talk to him again, I would chew him out for making such a mess of our lives. But when it came down to it, I knew he wasn't completely out of line for the whole thing. Maybe he was the one who triggered it all, but I had always known they would split up. Always. I was just upset about the timing.

And then he had to go and drop a bombshell.

I wasn't sure what to think about it. Of course I _wanted_ to go back to Polson. It was easy to say that when I thought I was stuck in Forks. But now that the choice was actually mine, I wasn't sure what I should do.

I stared out the window with my head on the glass. The scene outside was a blur of green and gray – familiar to me now, routine. I ran over the arguments in my head. Did I want to go home? Yes. Of course yes. Did I want to leave Forks? Not as much anymore.

_If he had only called yesterday, I might be on the interstate rail home by now. _

But why did I want to stay? Part of it was the group of friends I had made. I guess to some degree, I would miss them. Although, if I did go home, I wouldn't have to worry about Jules's fantasy prediction of my life coming true. Ava wouldn't really be much of an issue anymore.

And then there was Mom. I really couldn't see myself leaving her alone to live with Aunt Madison.

But to have my senior year back at Polson High…

It was then, as my head was spinning about what I was going to do with the rest of my life, that Ava and Aubree joined me at the back of the rail. Ava sat next to me and I didn't really give her much attention. She nudged me with her elbow.

"Hey," she said. "Ethan? You in there?"

I lifted my head off the window. "Hm? Yeah. Sorry."

"You okay?" she asked. Her brow was wrinkled. Aubree ignored us from the seat across the aisle.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

I couldn't bring myself to tell her why I had become the Broodmaster General. At least, not until I had some sort of answer to the question I was asking myself.

"You sure?" she asked. She put her hand on my knee.

I sighed and forced a smile. "Yeah."

She let up and returned the expression. "So I reserved a lane for us on Friday. Is eight okay?"

"Sure," I replied. "Sounds good."

Will joined in at the next stop and shoved onto the seat next to Aubree. She stared out the window as Will leaned over to us. "E. Your clothes are approved."

"Um. Thanks?" I replied.

"And no more bow ties?" he asked.

"No. Won't happen again."

"Good man. You up for the café this Friday?" he asked.

"Oh. Um." I looked over at Ava. She was flushing and staring at her fingers. "I have plans. But thanks."

He reached over to pat Ava on the shoulder. "I'm just teasing. I know you got plans." He laughed. "You guys are adorable. _Adorable_."

_Can I leave all this behind?_

_ I left everything else behind. _

I was a turning into a professional leaver-behinder.

I was very homesick in that moment. I could imagine myself sitting on the west-lake rail headed to campus. Jules would be sitting next to me, drawing on her notebook with a fine-tipped permanent marker – the never-ending work of art. Justin would be sitting in the seat in front of us, twisted around so the two of us could talk about the latest Voyagers game or attempt to come up with new and different ways to avoid Mr. Byrne's after-school projects.

It was all completely possible. It could be my tomorrow if I wanted.

"…and I took the vase of flowers. I mean I only needed the one but—" Will said.

Ava cut him off. "Why would you do that?"

He shrugged. "They were just—"

I couldn't talk about this with them; they didn't understand and wouldn't want to. There were a lot of things I couldn't talk to them about. It was very frustrating.

I stood up from the seat. "I have to…I'll be right back."

The mechanical rail-voice sounded. "Please remain seated while the rail is in motion."

"Okay," Ava said. The concerned face was back.

I walked up to the front of the rail and found an empty seat on the right side. I pushed the button on my headset. "Call Jules Appleby."

It rang once. "Well, good morning to you. Rail talk. This is new."

"Jules," I said. "He told me I could come home if I want."

"What?"

"My dad called this morning."

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah," I replied. "And he said it was my choice."

"What time should I plan on meeting you at the station tonight?"

"No. I mean…I don't know." I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm just so confused…"

She laughed. "What's confusing? You get to come home. So come home."

"It's not that easy, Jules."

She gave a humorless laugh. "Right."

"My mom is here and…"

"Okay. There is that."

"She's not coming back, you know. Her practice is coming here. To Forks."

She sighed. "Yeah. Alright."

"She didn't even say a word about this whole thing. Dad said they talked about it yesterday. They talked _yesterday. _You think she would be decent enough to at least _tell_ me that I could go home. Give me the option. Maybe she was lying to him…"

"Maybe she's just working up to it. I mean a day is not that long a time, Eepers."

"Whatever," I grumbled. "She should have said something."

"Maybe she will."

"I don't know what the right thing to do is. I want to come home. But I also don't fancy the idea of living with my dad and Claudia Cheff."

"Yeah. Saw them at the Stageline last weekend. That's rough stuff."

"You _saw _them?" I groaned. "And you didn't tell me?"

"What would that have done, Eepers? You really want a play-by-play of your dad's escapades with a woman who is not your mom? It's a small town. I've seen them around. Everyone has."

"I don't need you trying to protect me from evil." My voice was not very nice. "I do that pretty well on my own."

"I'm just being a friend, Ethan."

"You're being a something."

There was a moment of silence before she spoke again, and when she did, her voice was cold, detached. "Listen, maybe you should stay there. If you're going to be this guy, then by all means, let Forks enjoy your mood."

"Fine," I said. "I'll stay."

"Glad I could help you make up your mind."

"Yeah. Thanks." And for once in my life, I was the one who hung up first.

The rail arrived at school and I was the first out of my seat, the first out the door. I lifted my hood as I stepped off the stair because it had started to sprinkle at some point along our ride. I didn't wait for Ava or any of the others. I kept my head down and trudged off to class.

And the day had started out so well.

***

All morning I mulled it over. Or perhaps "mulled" isn't really the right word. It was more like an unending loop that played over in my mind. What would happen if I went home? Daily calls from my mom to see if I was okay, living in a house with Claudia Cheff but probably spending the majority of my life avoiding her, seeing Jules and Justin every day again… Or what would happen if I decided to stay in Forks? I would have to be okay with the routine I had set up here. I could always live in Polson vicariously through Jules.

If she'd ever forgive me.

Yeah, I knew I was an asshat for saying what I'd said. By the time lunch rolled around, the anger had ebbed and I was back to just being completely confused. Add in a dash of guilt for Jules, and I was seriously considering finding a table for myself in the corner.

But I was in the mood for penance, and sitting at the same table as Will definitely counted as such. And I didn't want to give them more fuel for asking questions I wouldn't have answers to.

They were all already there. Nate and Charlotte didn't care that I had arrived; Aubree was staring at her soup and never cared where I went, so…

I sat down with my tray in my hand and put on a smile. Ava opened her mouth to say something, but Will was quicker.

"You ditched on the rail," he said. "What is going on with you, E?"

It looked like the questions were coming anyway. "I had a phone call. Sorry."

"Something you couldn't talk about amongst us?" he asked.

"I just didn't want to interrupt everyone else's conversations."

"Right." He rolled his eyes. "People are weird today. What's wrong with the world?"

"Lots of things," Nate replied. "The fact that you exist is proof positive that we've got issues."

"No, I'm serious." He set down the pudding he was eating. "I mean E is treating us like lepers—"

"I'm not treating you like _lepers…"_ I said.

He didn't seem to care that I had spoken. "—and Aubree has been staring off into space all day." He waved a hand in front of her face. "You coming back to us, dear?"

Aubree shook her head. "Sorry. Just….sorry."

"What is your deal?" he asked.

It was good to have the heat off me. Their conversation faded to background music as I paid attention to my meal. I took a bite of my sandwich and started comparing the cafeteria food with that of the stuff back home.

Then I realized I had started calling it "back home" in my head. Perhaps that was telling enough.

"Ethan," Ava whispered. "You sure everything's okay?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind."

"Want to talk about it?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Not right now."

"Oh…okay."

Will was back to his pudding, threatening a spoonful in Nate's direction. He angled it back and poised his finger to fling it across the table.

"No one wants a food fight, Will," Aubree said.

Nate was oblivious, talking to Charlotte about her upcoming trip to Lake Crescent with her folks.

Will laughed. "Everyone wants a food fight, you mean."

Aubree narrowed her eyes at him. "Will. Don't."

"Fine. You are no fun anymore." He dropped the spoon back into his pudding cup. He shouted across to Nate. "Her Grace has spared your life. Though I don't know why she deems you worthy."

"What is your deal, man?" Nate asked.

Aubree put her hand on the table, reaching across to Nate and Charlotte. "Never mind him. He's having issues of his own."

"I'm not having issues," Will snapped.

Aubree ignored the rebuttal. "He's just pissy because the French cousin hasn't been driving the Cullens to school lately. He misses the four seconds of staring he used to indulge in at the start of the day."

"I do not," Will said. His face was flushing.

Nate chuckled. "Oh."

"Shut it, Nate," Will snapped. "Just…shut it."

"I didn't say a word," Nate replied. He held up his hands in surrender.

"Yes, you did. And the word was 'oh.'" Will picked up his bag, hiding his blush in the pointless exercise of rifling through his belongings. "I don't need your judgment."

Nate's smile didn't die. "It wasn't a word. It was a syllable. It was a letter."

"Right," Will said. "Whatever."

The lunch warning sounded and we all headed out to class. Ava kept pace with me, silent, probably waiting for my deluge of thoughts to come spilling out. It didn't happen.

When we reached building three, she sighed. "I guess I'll see you after class?"

"Sure thing."

She nodded once and left.

I walked into the classroom and hung my jacket on the post by the door. When I got to my seat in the corner, I sat down without even a second thought to the girl next to me. She reached across and tapped my shoulder. I flinched away from the cold.

"Sorry," Bella said. "I just had a question for you."

_Always with the questions. _"That's okay. Go ahead."

"I was wondering if you could come over to our house tonight."

"Down on the rez?" I asked.

"No," she replied. "Sorry. What I mean is the Cullen house."

_Right. Because they're married. _

I was having a little trouble keeping fact from fiction in my head, and even more trouble wrapping my mind around the concept that she was old enough to have been married. For decades even.

I pulled out my notebook. "I have work after school. And I'm supposed to meet a friend afterward. So…"

_I wonder what the traditional gift is for a centennial anniversary? _

She nodded. "Right. Okay."

_And what do you get your vampire wife to celebrate anything, anyway? A goat? _

_ I wouldn't have to deal with any of _this_ back home. At least…I don't _think_ there are any vampires in Polson. _

_ Oh man…_

Mr. Barrett started his lecture. I sent him my homework and hoped that it would pull up my grade a little bit; perhaps I could salvage something of the class. I nodded along with the slides and took meticulous notes. I didn't want another pop quiz fiasco.

During it all, I continued my flip-flopping argument with myself about going back to Polson. I couldn't make up my mind. The longer I thought about it, the less likely it seemed I would ever know what to do.

At the end of class, Bella picked up the conversation again. We both gathered our things and walked down the aisle.

"Listen, I know you have plans. But in case something happens, your friend doesn't show or something like that, we're at rail stop ninety-seven. Just shout that you're there and someone will come over to pick you up."

"Um. Okay."

She nodded. "And if not today, maybe tomorrow?"

"Sure," I replied. "Not that I don't appreciate the…attention…but why the sudden invite?"

"We just wanted to talk over some stuff with you. And thought you might be able to help us out with something." We had reached the door. She put on her coat.

"Okay…"

"I'm sorry I'm being vague. I would just rather talk about all this at home, andI think your friends are waiting for you outside."

"Oh. Okay. Um. Thanks." These four words were turning into my entire vocabulary. I guess you could add "sorry" in there too. "See you tomorrow then."

She opened the door and we walked out together. She gave me a little wave and took off down the stairs for her family. Edward was just a few yards away, his open hand waiting for hers.

And then my eyes came back to the little group huddled in the rain, waiting for me – Will, Ava, and Aubree were all staring, with their mouths open to various degrees, speechless.

"What?" I asked.

"Did she just wave at you?" Will asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," I replied. "So?"

"So she knows you exist," he said.

"We sit next to each other in class. Of course she knows I exist." I walked downstairs and started across the lot for the rail, hoping they would come along with me. It worked. Will walked beside me and the girls followed a few steps behind us.

"But…how is that possible?" Will asked. "I mean…"

"Like I said, we sit next to each other." I shrugged.

"You are acting like this is no big deal. It is. I mean, Nate sits next to Alice in geography. They're not bestest buds like you and Bella."

"We're not bestest buds, Will."

He lowered his voice to a whisper. "You know this is going to kill Ava, right?"

"It's not anything. She just waved at me. We're barely friends."

"But you do admit to engaging in friendship with one Bella Black?"

I shrugged. "I guess."

"Seriously. This is…I have no words."

"C'mon. It's nothing. Why does it even matter?"

"It matters because they have _no friends._ Outside of themselves."

"Ah."

"So this means that you have to help me out. When the day comes that you get to go to some exclusive party that they are throwing, you will bring me along. You will."

"Are they really known for exclusive parties?" I asked. We reached the rail and I peeked over my shoulder to make sure Ava and Aubree were still following. They were a few steps behind, but they were there. Neither looked very happy. _Gee thanks, Will. _

"In my mind, they have them all the time. The kind that celebrities fly in for. Fancy clothes and tiny food. French champagne…"

I coughed and stepped aboard the rail. Will followed a hairsbreadth behind. "I doubt that a group of high school students would be having parties with champagne," I said. "C'mon. It's no big deal. New subject."

"Yeah. Right." He slid in next to me on the seat. "Promise me, E. Promise me you'll bring me along. And that you'll drive."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. If I am ever invited to a fancy party at the Cullens, you can be my date."

"Yes!" He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and shook me. "You are the man! I give you the official title of King of All Things for tomorrow. It will be known throughout the land."

"Okay, but as King, I ask you to take a seat somewhere else."

He laughed. "As you wish, your Highness." He switched to the seat behind me.

Ava and Aubree sat at the front of the rail and ignored us the whole ride home.

***

After work I went down to the diner to meet Jeremy. The place was empty when I arrived, so I took the same seat at the counter where we had sat before. The waitress came over to take my order.

"What can I get you, darlin'?" she asked.

"Um. Just water for now. I'm waiting for someone," I replied.

She nodded and went to pour me a glass. There was an oldies album playing in the background. She hummed along to the song and brought my drink. She reached under the counter and pulled up a slice of lemon.

"This too?" she asked.

"Nah," I replied. "Thanks, though."

"No problem. Just let me know when you're ready to order." She wandered to the other end of the counter and clicked a key on a notebook sitting there. She started to type.

"Okay," I replied. I don't think she heard me.

The music went on. I drank my water.

As I waited, I thought about the conversation I'd had with Bella that afternoon. Why did they need my help exactly? I wasn't sure just how helpful I could be to anyone, especially them. I mean, what kind of help do vampires need anyway? And the idea of going over to a house full of them wasn't very appealing. I knew that they wouldn't hurt me, but I still couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't the safest place for me to be.

_Why on Earth did I tell her I would go over there? _

I could still back out if I wanted. I had another whole day to see her and explain that I just didn't feel comfortable spending my free time in a room full of creatures who drank blood for a living. Well, perhaps they didn't do it as a career, but they certainly did it to live.

If it were just Bella and I, perhaps I could do it.

Why was she any different from the others? Well…she wasn't, not really. She was just as much a vampire as the rest of them.

But I knew her. Maybe that was the difference.

And she didn't have biceps the size of my head. That helped with the whole "feeling safe" thing.

Still, she wanted my help. How could I deny her that? How could I deny help to anyone, when I wasn't doing much around here, anyway?

I just didn't know why it had to happen at her house. _Why couldn't we just meet somewhere else? Like here at the diner like…_

It was 6:30. Jeremy was still nowhere to be found.

_Where the hell is he? _

I finished my water.

Then I was back to my own life problems.

I really had to patch things up with Jules. And I needed to find a way to smooth over whatever was going on with Ava, too.

I groaned. Girls were work.

Of course I still had to decide what to do about my father's offer. That was just going to have to wait until I talked to my mom. And that conversation was going to have to wait until I wasn't mad at my mom anymore.

The waitress came over. "You sure you don't want to order anything? Can I refill your water at least?"

I was starting to think I should just go home. He wasn't going to show. And the longer I sat there, the more I felt like a complete idiot for doing so.

"No, never mind. I'm just going to head out."

"And if your friend comes?" she asked.

I shrugged. "Tell him I waited."

***

I did not go to rail stop ninety-seven, even though I now had the availability to do so. I wasn't in the mood to drum up my courage; and I didn't feel like giving myself another thing to lie about when I had to eventually talk to Ava.

When I got home, Mom was still out working. Aunt Madison was finishing up her dinner in the kitchen, still wearing work clothes.

"Hey, kiddo," she said. "Did you have fun meeting your friend?"

"He wasn't there," I replied. "I gave up."

"Oh, that's too bad. Maybe something came up. I'm sure he'll stop by again. He's there all the time."

I shrugged. "Yeah. Whatever."

"You okay, Ethan?"

I had heard just about enough of that question for one day. "Fine. Going to go do homework."

"Okay." She picked up her plate and moved over to the sink. "If you need anything, just let me know."

"Thanks."

I trudged upstairs and dropped my bag on the floor. I didn't bother turning on the light. I closed the door and sat on my bed in the dark.

It would be one problem at a time. I took the headset out of my front pocket and clipped it to my ear. Jules was first on the list.

"Call Jules Appleby."

It rang.

And rang.

And rang.

The familiar voice picked up. "Jules did not answer her phone. Either the world has ended or you have somehow managed to get on her blacklist. Ponder that before you leave a message."

The first had not happened; the second was a possibility.

After the tone sounded, I had only one thing to say.

"I'm sorry."

I hung up.

I lay back on my bed and closed my eyes, sick of the person I had turned out to be on that particular day. It would serve me right if she just stayed angry with me. But, if that was the case, I couldn't go back to Polson. Not if she cut me out of her life.

The hours passed and eventually my sulking in the dark turned to sleep.

There was no call from Jules to wake me up.

* * *

**I know. It's like the longest running cliffhanger ever. I promise more Cullen goodness in the next one. Maybe a couple answers. I don't know. I haven't written it yet.**

**Yeah...why do they want his help? Theories? Please drop a line in the reviews.**


	13. Chapter 13

**a/n: Busy life a comin'. Won't be able to keep up my regular pace unfortunately. :( But I am still working on this in the spare moments I have. They will just be a little longer in between.**

**If you're following Grace Note, read that update first. It happens before this does, and there are spoilers in here. Kinda.**

**I love you all. Thanks to my beta, AZBella, for being awesome in general, and helping me do the impossible today.**

**Thanks to my friends at [t20s]. Without you, I would cry myself to sleep at night.**

**Thank you to all that reviewed. It really means a lot to hear what you have to say, even if it's "You suck" or "Update now!"**

**Thanks to the wonderful gals who beta my second draft. Project Team Beta is FTW. Just sayin'. (Properly punctuated.)**

**And on with the show. Today I am Team Sheep Dog.

* * *

**

Chapter 13

So what would you have done? Your best friend hates you. You are hundreds of miles away from her and the life you know and love. And your mother is determined to keep her new roots in a tiny, wet town. Oh yeah, and vampires have taken up residence there, and they seem to want to befriend you.

What would you do?

Maybe that's a stupid question. These things don't happen to anyone else but me.

There were no calls from Jules that morning. No messages on my profile from her either. Justin had left a comment in my conversations section that said, "What did you _do_?" It didn't really lift my spirits at all.

Problem number one – _Jules hates me_ – was put on hold.

Problem number two – _I'm mad at my mom_ – was about to be addressed.

She was making oatmeal and whistling as she stirred. I dropped my bag on the kitchen table and waited for her to look at me.

"Morning hon," she said. "You want some breakfast?"

I was in an abrupt mood. "Dad called me."

"Oh." Her face fell. "Oh. Okay…when?"

"Yesterday morning."

"Well…good." She went back to her stirring. "I think it's good for you two to—"

"He said I could move back home if I wanted. That you two had discussed it and decided it was up to me."

A whispered curse escaped. She pulled the spoon out of the pot and set it beside the stove.

"Why don't you sit down?" she asked with a forced smile. "I'll make you a bowl—"

"I'm not hungry."

She sighed. "We did talk about it, Ethan. And I was going to tell you. I was. But we had only just figured every thing out and, well, I wanted to take some time to talk with you about everything. I didn't want this to be something I told you on your way out the door. I mean, I know you want to go back. I'm not stupid. Do you really blame me for taking my time with this? For wanting to keep you here just a little bit longer?"

The worst part was…I _did _understand. I didn't want to, though. She made it hard to stay angry.

"You should have told me," I said.

"I was working up to it," she replied. She looked back to the pot and absently stirred the oatmeal. "I'm sorry."

I nodded and picked up my bag off the table. I headed for the door.

"What time will you be home?" she called. Her footsteps followed me down the little hallway and paused just inside the foyer. "Maybe we could go to town and—"

I didn't even turn my head. "I have plans. Another time."

And I left.

***

I knew I would let up on my mom at some point. Maybe I didn't know when that point would come along, but it was only a matter of time.

It was time to tackle problem number three – _Ava is upset with me_.

On the rail I took evasive action when the girls came aboard. They were two rows ahead of me. I walked down to meet them and ignored the even-toned warnings of the mechanical rail voice.

"Ava," I said, standing in the aisle. "Can we talk?"

It was Aubree who replied. "I don't think that's going to happen, Ethan."

"Please remain in your seat while the rail is in motion," the rail voice said.

As Ava ignored me, I ignored the warning. "This is silly. Come on. I just want to talk."

Ava continued to stare out the window.

"Ethan Powell, please return to your seat while the rail is in motion." The addition of my name to a rail warning – never a good thing.

"You heard the machine," Aubree said. "Return to your seat."

More ignoring ensued. "Ava. I'm not leaving until we talk."

"Ethan Powell, final warning." The rail voice was so polite about it. "Return to your seat or you will be issued detention."

Aubree turned and whispered something to her sister. Ava nodded.

I had maybe five seconds left.

Ava stood and I sighed. "Thanks," I said. She kept silent as she followed me back to my seat.

As soon as we were seated, she spoke. "What do you want?"

"I want to fix this," I replied. "I want to be capable enough to have just _one _less problem in my life. So listen, whatever I did to upset you, I'm sorry."

"You can't just issue a blanket apology and expect things to be all better, Ethan. It doesn't work that way."

"Then tell me how it does work. Tell me what I did. Is this about Bella?"

She took a deep breath. "Yes. And no."

Great. Got to love the convoluted workings of the female mind.

"I don't know how to properly apologize for someone waving at me," I said.

She rolled her eyes. "It's not really that she waved at you."

The rail stopped and a new batch of students stepped aboard. Will paused to give a greeting to Aubree, but he made his way down the aisle to us. He kneeled on the seat just in front of us, facing backwards.

"Your Majesties," he said. "I take this to mean all is well in the royal palace?"

We both turned to him at the same time. "Go away, Will."

He held up his hands. "Your wish, my command." He stood just as the rail took off and the voice didn't let him off the hook.

The warning came as he walked down the aisle. "Please remain seated while the rail is in motion."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he replied. He took the abandoned spot next to Aubree.

"That kid has issues," I mumbled.

Ava chuckled softly. "He really does."

"Maybe not as many as me," I said.

For a moment, we were both quiet, trying to find a new, less-volatile way to have the conversation we were having. It was up to me to take it up again.

"I just hate the way yesterday happened," I said. "All of it. First I get Jules angry with me and then you—"

"Jules? Your friend from Polson?"

I nodded. "That's who I was talking to on the rail yesterday."

"Oh."

"And I managed to really screw things up between us. So now my best friend hates me and I can never go back home – even if it _is_ my choice."

"What?"

I sighed. "My dad called yesterday and told me I could go back home and live with him. Only…I don't know how to do that. How do I leave my mom behind? How do I live in a house with my dad's evil girlfriend…who I just learned about over the phone?"

"Oh no," she said. "Wow. That's…"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"Wow," she said again.

"And then I go and make the whole world hate me."

"I don't hate you. I just wish… I wish you felt like you could talk to me. I wish I didn't have to live in the mystery of what is going on with you. I was mostly upset that you were upset and didn't feel like you could tell me why.

"And then she waved and it just…tipped the scale, you know? Another thing I didn't know about Ethan Powell. I mean, I know she's not interested in you. She has Edward and—"

"Hey. I could—"

She scoffed. "Be real, Ethan."

"Yeah. Okay."

"But you guys seem to be friends. And I had no idea. And that's what upset me. Maybe that's my fault. I'm not even really your girlfriend or anything…"

_Hint much? Dear God. _

She kept on. "It just took me by surprise. Made me feel foolish. And then Will made such a big deal about it. He even called me last night to see if I could nudge you about a party at their house…"

"Ah."

"So really there were a lot of things that played into what happened."

"I see. Well, I'm sorry for making you feel foolish. I even apologize for Will. Because he won't."

"Right."

She was right about one thing: I needed to be able to talk to people. But the people I felt like I could talk to weren't here. I wasn't really sure I knew how to open up to anyone else. Practice maybe.

The rail arrived at school and everyone began pouring out into the parking lot. We waited behind for a few moments.

"So you're going back home soon then?" Ava asked.

I shook my head. "I don't think so. I don't see how it can work."

"But you want to?"

I shrugged. "I don't know anything anymore. I certainly don't want to go back if Jules hates me."

"Yeah. If Aubree hated me, I couldn't live here."

I nodded. She could understand, in her own way.

The rail voice sounded. "Ava Parson and Ethan Powell, please exit the rail."

We stood and gathered our bags. There was no one else aboard.

"Well, perhaps it's selfish, but I kind of hope you stay."

I smiled. "Thanks."

_One problem down. Two to go. _

_***_

At lunch, Ava had a smile on her face when she came to sit next to me, and it was a relief. I had experienced enough drama for one week and I knew there was still more to come.

Will stood on the chair beside me. "Hear ye, hear ye!" he shouted. "I have a proclamation!"

Nate groaned. Aubree ignored him. Charlotte and Ava were all ears.

"Ethan is to be King on this the 22nd of January, 2149. May his reign be filled with happiness and fancy parties with tiny food." He threw me a wink and then stepped down from the chair. He bowed.

Nate threw a baby carrot at his head.

Across the room, the Cullens entered the cafeteria. They were all wearing smiles, talking amongst themselves. They looked friendly, happy, approachable, and yet, I was in no way looking forward to going over to their house that afternoon.

_I could claim an illness._

But she needed my help. And if I didn't go, I would have to go home and face the stuff with Mom. She'd probably drag me into town the whole afternoon – find a way to go shopping for new underwear in front of my friends and then take me to the diner where Jeremy would pop in to say hi. She'd introduce herself and pat my head or call me her "little man." Or both.

Yes, vampires were certainly the lesser of two evils.

"Hey, Ethan!" Nate said. "Earth to Ethan…"

"Hm?" I replied.

"You must address him as 'King Ethan' or 'Your Highness,'" Will said. "He will not respond to anything less."

"Oh shut up," Nate said. "So, Ethan, we've been talking about transportation to the dance. What do you think abut driving us?"

"Um…"

"Hey!" Will said. "No way. You are not getting a ride before me. Not happening."

I wasn't sure how to resolve this situation. "Well, you guys…"

"C'mon. Charlotte and I have a reason. We're an _actual_ couple."

"A couple of stupids," Will replied.

"Listen," I cut in. "I'm not going to be able to drive to the dance. There's no way we'll get away with it."

Will nodded. "King Ethan has a point."

"Yeah, okay," Nate said. "Maybe after? Maybe we could sneak out after…"

"I make no promises," I said.

The five-minute warning sounded and it was now time for me to make up my mind about what to say to Bella. Was I really going over there?

Ava picked up her bag and lifted it over her shoulder. She was ready to go and thankfully the smile was still there.

If I was going, was I supposed to tell her about the visit? There was a certain implied anonymity requested from Bella. I mean, it was just me going over to their house, but I had a feeling I wasn't really supposed to tell anyone about it. Maybe it was my own desire to keep the vampire part of my life separate from the rest of it. Plus Ava would definitely not be happy about it. And there was the possibility that Will would find out, and want to come…

Secret it was. Secret it would stay.

As we walked out into the rain, Ava picked up the conversation. "Speaking of the dance…"

"Hm?" I replied.

"I'm going dress shopping with Aubree and Charlotte this weekend."

"Oh. That's good."

"You mentioned you have a suit already. Do you mind if I ask what it looks like…?"

"I did? When did I say that?"

She sighed. "Last week. You don't remember."

"Sorry. I'm an idiot."

"You do have a suit, right?"

"Um…"

"Ethan."

"Not so much."

She gave a small, exasperated sigh. "Okay. This is fixable. I think the store in town still has a couple for rent. It's not going to be a great selection, but it's all we can do."

I nodded. "This weekend. Okay."

"I could come along with you if you needed help."

"No. It's okay. I can… I can figure it out."

"The dance is next week. You know that, right?"

I will admit I hadn't really paid much attention to the calendar. I didn't have it marked down or anything. "Right. Sure. Of course."

"I'm starting to learn what your bullshit voice sounds like. Write it down."

_Did she just say "bullshit"? _"I will."

"Alright, I'm off. Try not to flirt with Bella too much in class, okay?"

"Um. Okay." She ran off into the rain.

When I got inside, I took my seat in the corner and had a last minute argument with myself over whether or not I was going to fake a sickness. Just because I didn't go over to the Cullens' house didn't mean I had to go home. I could potentially ditch them all for an afternoon alone. Perhaps I would go down to the beach, sulk in the rain, and call Jules over and over again until she took pity and actually picked up the phone.

Very very tempting.

And then Bella walked in.

She was wearing a pair of jeans and a soft–looking tan sweater. Her hair was pulled back in a headband, a gold thing with little sparkling bits that went around it. The brown curls fell on either side of her face, almost choreographed in their turns.

No. I wasn't going to bail on her.

She looked up at me and smiled.

"Hey," I said as she reached her seat. She set down her bag. "Sorry I couldn't make it yesterday."

"That's okay. Today works too. You're still coming over, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'll be there."

She sighed. "Oh good. You don't know how much I appreciate this." She opened her notebook.

I went ahead and opened my notebook too. _Maybe Jules will interrupt class again. That would be nice. _

Jules did not interrupt class.

I took my notes, I watched the lectures slides go by, and I wondered about what would happen when I got to their house. What if there was some sort of formal protocol for being introduced to vampire families? Was I supposed to bow to their leader? And if they were vampires, that meant they didn't age, so how was I supposed to know who _was_ the leader? The only thing I could be certain of was that it wasn't Bella.

_Unless it isn't because of age. For all I know she's their queen or something. _

Did they all live together in one house? Bella was supposedly living on the Quileute reservation with Jacob, but I knew best that their stories were just stories. If they _were_ all living together, that had to be one damn big house.

_Maybe it's a castle. With turrets and everything. _

_ A castle in Forks? Doubtful. _

And how old was Edward, anyway? His name was generic enough, and very old. Although who knew if it was his real name.

I hated the idea that he was hundreds of years old. I wondered how many people he had lived past. How many graves he had visited.

_I wonder if they will visit my grave. _

What a horrible thought. But it wasn't unreasonable.

At the end of class, Bella turned to me again. "Rail stop 97."

"Yeah. Okay," I replied.

"I would offer you a ride with us, but I have a feeling that might not go over well with some of your friends."

_How does she know about…_ "You're probably right. It's okay. Don't worry about it."

"When you get there, just shout down the road and someone will pick you up."

"I can just walk. It's not really a big deal."

"The house isn't very close to the main road. Not easy to see the way in, either."

"Oh. Okay. Sounds good."

"See you in a bit." She slung her bag over her shoulder.

"Sure thing."

She left without me, maybe another gesture to help me keep nice with Ava. I couldn't help but get lost in the questions of how she even _knew_ about that. Maybe it was just talk around campus. I mean, it was easy to think that all that went on with us was wrapped up in our own little bubble world, but there was a whole school full of students who…

…probably couldn't care less what I did with my life.

So why did they care about finding out about me? And more importantly…how?

Ava and Aubree waited by the stairs. Will was behind them, staring at the Cullens' car as it pulled out of the parking lot.

He sighed.

"She wasn't there again, was she?" I whispered to the girls.

"Nope," Ava said.

"Poor guy. Needs to get over it."

Aubree sighed. "He knows this."

Aubree put her arm around Will's shoulders and led him to the rail. Ava and I followed.

***

Railstop 97 was way out in the boonies. Houses grew sparser by stop 80, a mile between them. By 90 it was forest, endless trees in both directions. I worried that I had misheard her and that maybe it was 79. But she told me twice. How could I really get it wrong both times?

_I should have written it down. _

At 92 the last student got off. I was completely alone for the last three miles. Just me and the trees.

I got off the rail at 97 anyhow, and when the rail pulled away, I wondered how long I was going to be waiting for its return. You know, when I found out that I was in completely the wrong place.

I felt ridiculous.

And then I remembered her instruction to shout into the trees and decided I was about to feel a little ridiculous-er.

I started out quiet. "Um…I'm here."

_You can do better than that. _

"I'm here!" I called again, louder, in the direction of the forest on the other side.

Was that all I had to do? How long was I going to have to wait?

No, there was no way they were really there. I sat down on the railstop bench, resigned to wait however long it was going to be for the southbound lap.

_Maybe a half hour? At least I could go to the beach after all…_

And then the rain picked up. I lifted my hood.

_Perfect. _

Before I could get a real good temper going, a car pulled down the road and stopped just in front of me. It was the sleek black car I had seen that first day at school, the fast-looking one that had peeled down the road.

Something I wouldn't mind driving myself.

The passenger window rolled down.

"Ethan, right?" It was the big one – Emmett. "You coming man? Or do you like the rain?"

I shook my head and swallowed. I stood and reached my shaking hand out to open the door.

_Don't freak out. Don't freak out._

"I'm a little wet," I said. "Won't that ruin the seats or something?"

He chuckled. "Don't worry about it. We can replace them if we need to."

I took a deep breath and got inside. The interior was black leather. There was a fancy lighted display and a few controls I didn't have any idea how to operate.

He flipped the car around in the fastest u-turn I have ever experienced. My stomach flew back into the seat.

I groaned. I couldn't help it.

"Oh. Sorry," he said, chuckling.

I wanted to say, "That's okay," but he was driving too fast for me to form words. He turned into a nearly-hidden driveway and the dust flew up behind us as we breezed down the unpaved road.

_Don't freak out. Don't freak out. _

_And whatever you do, don't throw up. _

That was going to be a daunting task.

The trees broke and I saw the house in the distance, past a field of tall grass. It was huge and white. There was a wraparound porch and a row of old cedars on either side that kept most of the rain off the immense lawn. With the clouds and the shade, the front of the house was dark enough to be scary. A chill ran down my arms.

Or maybe it was the giant undead guy sitting just next to me. Who knows?

When we hit the end of the drive, he pulled the car in front of a giant garage. The door was open, the light was on inside, and a pair of legs poked out from underneath a red car inside.

_How many cars do they own? _

"C'mon," he said. "I think they're waiting for you."

"Um. Okay…" My stomach fought to settle itself. It was convinced we were still moving. I forced my hands to relax. I had been gripping the armrests, nails and all, without really realizing. I left little crescents in the leather.

The patter of rain on the trees lining the house was very loud. I followed Emmett up the front stairs to the door. He opened it and my heartbeat went into overtime. I was really there.

He opened the door and looked down at me. "They're in the living room."

There was a bronze head poking up from the couch facing away from me, but no accompanying brunette. Across from the couch there was a tall tan guy sitting in a chair that looked too small for him.

"I wasn't _following _her," the tan guy said.

"I know," Edward replied. "Though I wouldn't be one to judge, if you were." And then Edward chuckled. "Trip makes a good sheep dog."

The other guy smiled. "Don't tell him that."

Emmett gave me an encouraging nudge with his elbow. "Go ahead."

Edward and the guy were both standing as I entered. Their smiles fell away and turned to blank, businesslike expressions.

"Ethan," Edward said. "Thank you very much for coming."

"Sure thing," I replied.

"This is Seth," he said, gesturing to the tan guy. Seth reached out a hand.

I shook it. Far too warm for a vampire. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," he said.

Edward tilted his head slightly. "Bella should be down in just a moment, and then we'll get down to it. Why don't you have a seat?"

I wondered where the others were. Emmett didn't linger; he disappeared the moment I walked over to the couch. Jasper and Alice were nowhere to be seen. And I knew Dr. Cullen and his wife had to be around.

Maybe they were just trying to help me be comfortable. I could appreciate that. I sat down on the farthest end of the couch, and the two of them did the same.

Or was this guy Seth in on the family secret? Maybe they were just keeping up pretenses for him. I would have to be careful of my words just in case.

As if answering my thoughts, Edward said, "You don't have to worry about Seth. He knows everything."

"Oh. Okay." I fidgeted, adjusting the way I was sitting. The couch was white. I worried that I would get it dirty.

"Here she comes," Edward said, and then Bella appeared on the other side of the room. She was holding a stack of papers in her hand.

Or…not papers. They were too small…

"Ethan," she said. "Glad you made it. We won't take up a lot of your time."

"What did you want to ask me?"

She sighed. "You remember when I said we had a family situation going on?"

I nodded.

"Well, I was hoping you could help us figure something out about that." She walked over to the table and spread the papers out in front of me. They were pictures. All of the same person.

He was tan, had short hair, a wide grin. One of the pictures was a wedding picture, the guy in a tuxedo holding onto a bride with bronze curls. Another of the couple running out toward the water in swimsuits. One with a little girl, same bronze curls, sitting on his lap. He was smiling in all of them.

"Have you ever seen him before?" Bella asked.

* * *

**Everybody now: NOOOOOO!!!!!**

**Who saw that coming?**

**Lots of answers coming next chapter. Promise.**


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n: So evidently I'm a big fat liar. I made it. By the skin of my teeth, I made it. But I make no promises for next Tuesday. (Yes, you are free to roll your eyes.)**

**Thank you to the gals at [t20s] of course. I would not be writing this were it not for all of you. All of you.**

**Thank you to AZBella, my beta, for kind words and good use of the space bar.**

**Thank you to the lovely ladies of Project Team Beta for helping me with my second draft. **

**Thanks to all the people out in reviewerland! Over a hundred now?!? HOooRayyy!!**

**One note for this chapter: No, I didn't invent the song. It's an old kiddie ditty called "Boom, Boom, Ain't It Great to Be Crazy?"**

**I promise no cliffhangers this time. That I am aware of.**

**And now, on with the show. Today I am Team Emmett. (Because Bear Hugs Are the Best Hugs, right gals?)

* * *

**

Chapter 14

I picked up one of the pictures. The guy was sitting on a motorcycle, his smile a challenge to whoever was holding the camera.

I could feel all three of them watching me, waiting for me to speak. Bella kneeled next to the coffee table to get a better view of my face as I studied the image in my hand. I strained to remember. He did look familiar…

"Is that the guy who drove you guys to school on my first day?" I asked.

Bella nodded, and let go of the calm expression she had been wearing. She bit her lip.

"And the girl too…isn't that Edward's cousin?"

Edward gave a sad smile. "Daughter, actually."

_Daughter? _Now this was unexpected and a little bit disconcerting. I picked up another picture and looked it over – the two of them were dancing at a party. _Renesmee_, Will had called her.

They hung on my every word. "So, this would be…Jacob…then?"

"Yes," Bella said.

"Your brother?"

"No," she replied. "Not really my brother. Just…family."

"You have to excuse me," I said, shaking my head. "I'm just trying to understand, trying to wrap my head around…"

"Of course," Edward said. "But have you seen him?"

"That first day, yeah."

"After that? Ever again after that?"

"No," I replied. "I don't think so."

Seth sighed and sank back into his chair again. "So square one then."

Bella looked at Edward. "Nothing? Nothing at all?"

"Ethan," Edward said. He sat down for a moment and picked up one of the pictures. He held it out to me. "Can you just take one more look? Look at the picture. Does anything at all come to mind?"

I knew it was pointless, but I did as he asked. I strained to recall anything. But all I could think of, the only thing I remembered, was that first day – his smile across to the girl, Renesmee, and his speedy exit.

Before I could reply, Edward spoke. "No."

Was it a question? It sounded like a statement.

"No," I agreed.

Bella began to gather the pictures together into a stack. "Well, thanks for trying."

"Is he missing? Is she…?"

"She's fine," Edward replied. "But yes, Jacob is missing. Has been for a couple weeks now."

I still had no idea what was going on. "Can I ask one thing?"

"Sure," Bella said. She looked up at Edward again and he nodded.

"Why me? Why am I here? I mean, I guess I just wonder why, out of the entire student body of Forks High, you thought I knew something about Jacob?"

Edward and Seth exchanged a look.

"I need to get back to her…" Bella said. She stood up, and Edward and Seth followed suit. Somehow I also found myself on my feet, caught up in their gesture. "I'm sorry to abandon you, Ethan, but Edward explains it best anyhow."

She clutched the pictures against her chest, looking off to the back wall of the house. It was made entirely of glass. The view stretched out for miles.

"It's okay," I replied. "Whatever you need to do." _Go ahead and leave me here with your frighteningly strong husband who probably has a secret vendetta against me. _

I was being petty. I knew this.

"And I should head back to La Push," Seth said. "I'll talk to you guys later tonight."

Edward nodded. "Of course."

Seth gave Bella a hug and stepped out of the room.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Ethan," Bella said. And in her own graceful way, she blurred out, leaving only a faint trace of her perfume behind her.

After she left, Edward motioned to the sofa. "Why don't we sit down? This is a bit of an involved question." The two of us took our seats on the couch again. With Bella gone, I found myself sinking back into an uncomfortable skin. I put my hands in the pockets of my sweater.

"Bella said you met my sister, Alice. Do you remember?"

_Sure thing. That was the day I hit on a vampire. Hard to forget. _"Yeah."

"You might have noticed that our kind have certain inherent abilities – speed, strength, keen senses..."

I nodded.

"Beyond that, as individuals, we sometimes carry added talents with us into this life. It's not normal; we are definitely the minority. And it's never the quite the same thing twice, because it's a strengthening of some characteristic that we might have had as humans. "

"Okay…"

"Alice has the ability to see something of the future. Where people will end up if they continue on the path they are on."

He was testing my limits. I had to accept that they were quick, I had seen it. And it was pretty obvious that they weren't like anyone else. But to think that little Alice could see the future? Hard to believe.

I played along anyhow. "So she saw me with him? Or…"

Edward shook his head. "Her ability has certain blind spots, and Jake happens to fall in one of the places that she can't see."

"I don't understand."

Alice's smaller voice came through from the other room. "You're dancing around the subject, Edward." She paused in the doorway and crossed her arms. "Werewolves. I don't _see_ werewolves."

_Werewolves? _

My life was slowly spinning itself into an old b-list horror movie.

_I am insane. I'm asleep and dreaming. None of this is really real…_

"Jake is a werewolf," she said.

"Too fast, Alice," Edward said.

"He'll get over it," said the psychic. She smiled. "Eventually."

"So let me get this straight…" They held silent as I let my jumbled thoughts settle themselves into sentences I could actually voice. "Jacob is a…werewolf. You guys are vampires. Jacob, who is not Bella's brother, is married to Renesmee, who is not Edward's cousin, but Edward and Bella's _daughter_." I felt like I needed a pen and paper to draw it out as a diagram. "Alice, who is Edward's sister, can see the future. But she can't see the future when it comes to werewolves. Which means she can't see…Jacob's future."

Edward nodded. "Right."

"And somehow this has something to do with me?"

I blinked and Alice was sitting in the chair across from us. My hair rustled.

"When you came to school that first day, I thought I would take a peek into what was in store for you. I often do that with new students, just as a precautionary measure for our family."

"What did you see?" I asked. I wasn't sure how much stock I could put into what she was going to tell me, but I was extremely curious to hear it anyhow.

"A lot of nothing."

"What?"

"You…blinked out. I mean that night was coming through easily enough, the sopping wet hair, your mom with the towel…" They never ceased to amaze. I don't know why I hesitated to believe them. The strange just kept getting stranger in this town.

_At least they aren't robots. _

She continued. "But the farther I went out, the more faint maybes I hunted down, the more you just…disappeared."

"I disappeared?"

"I honestly didn't really think much about it until after Jake was gone. We were so preoccupied with other things, and Edward went off to look for him and…"

"Wait. Go back. I _disappeared_?" _Dear God. How many days do I have left? Will Bella kill me after all? _

_ Calm down, maybe I go back to Polson. _

_ No, she said "disappeared_," _not "moved away."_

_ Look how casual she is when she talks about my death. _

_ I wonder if I will get to talk to Jules one last time…_

_ She's talking again. Pay attention. _

_ Okay. _

"Don't worry. It's not like I saw you dying. I just didn't see you at all."

_OhthankGod._

"But I'm no werewolf," I said.

She chuckled. "I know that," she replied. "Which is why I later thought that maybe you were going to see Jake at some point. The moment your path gets mixed up with them, you disappear too."

"Oh." _Okay. Okay. Okay. This is acceptable. _

_ Wait, I know werewolves? _

"So we thought that maybe he came to visit you at work, or you had seen him in town or something."

"I get it…I think." I sighed. "I'm sorry I wasn't any help. I really wish I could have been."

Edward stood. "It's alright. Though if you do see him by some chance…"

"You'll be the first to know."

"He'll probably come home at some point," Edward said. He put his hands in his pockets and walked toward the windowed wall. "It's not the first time he's run off."

_I guess they don't really need me around anymore…_

Edward continued to stare out the glass. "If you want, Emmett can drive you back home. Or if you're more comfortable taking the rail…"

I wasn't too sure I could make it all the way home in that car without puking. "The rail is fine," I replied.

"Okay. He'll just be a minute," Alice said. "He's finishing up a conversation with Rosalie in the garage." Maybe I only imagined the innuendo. Seventeen-year-old, after all.

Alice waited on the couch, smiling, as an awkward silence took over. Edward stared at the stretching green that ran outside their house. And as the quiet went on, I stumbled my way into nervous small talk. Something I should _never_ do.

I chuckled nervously. At least I managed not to giggle. "So, Alice, you can see the future. Does anyone else around here do something special?"

Edward turned his head slightly. "Alice…" he chided.

"Sure. Edward, Bella, and Jasper all have gifts." Her smile got a little wider.

"Oh yeah?" I was just trying to fill the void, really. And trying very hard to keep my mind off the fact that I was going to have to get back in the car with Emmett. "Like what?"

"Jasper can control people's emotions. Edward reads minds. And Bella's is more of a mental block…or a shield perhaps—"

"Wait…" I said.

Edward was silent.

"Yes?" Alice asked. Her eyes were wide and innocent.

I regretted the words as they tumbled out of my mouth. "Edward can…read…minds?"

_Dear God. _

Alice grinned and nodded.

"No…" I said.

He had heard it all. It was worse than Bella just telling him about it. He knew _exactly _how I felt about Bella. From the horse's mouth…or head, so to speak.

"Yes," Edward said. He turned around to face me.

He wasn't just disagreeing with me. He was _answering_ _my thoughts._

OHMYGODNO…

And then I was trying to remember if I had ever pictured her naked.

And then I realized that was a very stupid thing to do.

Edward sighed. "Yes. Please. Don't do that."

But I was stuck on the topic. All the times I had imagined conversations with her, all the times I had thought about her, looked at her, wanted to touch her…

Edward was no longer smiling.

"I'm going to go outside now," I said.

"Good idea," he replied.

I stood from the couch and walked around toward the front door. I would just bother Emmett instead of waiting. The option of having my skull pounded in by the overgrown linebacker seemed much more preferable to having Edward root through my internal monologue. If I didn't have a head, he couldn't very well get inside it, could he?

_I'm going to see him every day at school. _

It was a new and creative form of torture I wasn't sure I could have ever imagined.

Maybe someone got to Emmett before I got there. Maybe they told him and with his super-special-magic-I'm-better-than-you hearing he could pick it up while they were still in the living room, because he was standing on the porch just outside the front door when I stepped out of the house.

_He probably heard every word Edward and I just said. _

"Ready to go?" he asked.

I didn't make eye contact. My gaze landed blankly on his too-big chest. "Very much yes." He didn't scare me as much as he should have.

"Edward get to you?" He chuckled and waved a hand in front of my face. "That looks like the face Rose makes sometimes." I shook my head and looked up at him. He was smiling.

"I don't know if he really 'got to me' as much as I just died a little inside. There are some things best left in your head, you know?"

The chuckle turned into a full belly laugh. It's possible I should have been offended by his reaction, but there was no room left inside for any other feelings. The dread occupied every inch of me.

"I know what you mean, man. I know," he said. "I lost my sense of shame a long time ago."

"I don't know how to recover from this."

"You will. Everyone else has."

"But I have to be at school and…" I wiped my eye with the heel of my hand. I ran my hand down the side of my face. My head was feeling a little heavy and it was nice to have the extra support. "How can I be there when he's there? How can I be anywhere? It's like I don't know how to exist."

"Whoa, kid, slow down."

My hand fell away. "No. I mean…let's really analyze this situation. Right now I am standing on the porch of a mansion probably built before the turn of the millennium, talking to a vampire who seems bizarrely jolly for someone who has been alive…what? A hundred years?"

"Two-hundred and thirty-four actually."

"God." My reply was a whisper. And then I was shouting. "See? See what I mean? How does anyone _deal_ with that? How do I live knowing about all this stuff? Alice can _see_ the _future_. I'm not in it, evidently. Edward can _read my mind._ And I hit on his _wife._"

"You know that what Alice saw doesn't mean you're going to die, right? It just means you've been spending too much time down in La Push."

Honestly, his words were not much more than background music. "He heard it all. All the things I thought about her that whole time…and she probably knows, too. I have to sit next to her in government and she knows every little thing that ran through my head."

Emmett put his arm around my shoulders and gave me a little shake. "You got to hang in there."

"That's what Jules would say. If I could talk to her about all this. If she was talking to me at all."

"Jules? She your girl?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Oh," he replied. "Sorry to hear that."

"No, it's just not like that between us. We're just friends. Or _were_ friends."

"Ah. Well if I know friends, she'll come around." He dropped his arm to get his keys from his pocket. "And just so you know, Edward is pretty cool about keeping the head stuff secret. He's not big on telling us what's going on in everyone else's worlds. Bella might not know. Much."

I held on to that statement for my own personal sanity. _She doesn't know._

If that was true, I could maybe get by.

"C'mon," he said. "Let's get you home."

"Okay."

We walked down the steps and crossed to the garage. Emmett unlocked the car and the doors opened.

"I think you'll be okay, Ethan," he said. "Just take it one day at a time. And try singing kiddie songs in your head. That usually does wonders to keep him away."

***

When I got home, my mom was sitting in a chair on the porch waiting for me. I walked the last couple steps up to the stairway and stopped.

"So when am I taking you to the interstate?" she asked. "Or, I could drive you home if you like."

The real world was calling me back. "I'm not going," I said.

She sighed. "Really? You're sure?"

"Why even ask?"

"Ethan." She stood as I climbed the stairs. "I want you to be happy. Of course I want you to live here with me, but not if it hurts you to do so. Your father and I decided to let you pick because it's what we want most."

"I know." I put on my best convincing smile. "And I _am_ happy here. I'm staying."

"I'm so glad." She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "And of course you're welcome to go up to visit him whenever you want."

"I was thinking summer." I pulled the front door open.

"Sure," she replied. "Great idea."

We walked into the house. Aunt Madison was stirring something on the stovetop. She smiled as we reached the kitchen and held a spoonful up for us to see. It was chili.

"Hungry?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "But can I just take it up with me? I have homework."

"Sure thing, kiddo." She dished out a bowl for me and handed it over. "Let me know what you think. I tweaked the recipe. Cardamom. Thyme."

Those things didn't sound like they belonged in chili. "Thanks. I will."

"Are you going to come back down after you're done with your work?" Mom asked.

"I doubt I'll be done before bedtime."

"Okay, hon," she replied. "See you in the morning then."

"Night."

When I got to my room, I shut the door behind me. I set the bowl and my bag on the desk. If I was being honest, there was no way I was going to eat that stuff. And I really didn't feel like doing any homework.

_And so ends another day in Forks, Washington. _

I collapsed on the bed.

_I wonder how long it will take before I go completely insane. _

Staring up at the ceiling, I pushed the button on my headset.

"Call Jules Appleby."

_Ring…_

It was just a matter of balance. I could get by with balance.

_Ring… _

I was swimming in all this stranger-than-fiction nonsense, and I was just having a hard time leveling it off. What I needed was _normal._

_Ring… _

I needed normal like air.

Her voice was still nice to hear, even if it was just a recording. "Jules did not answer her phone. Either the world has ended or you have somehow managed to get on her blacklist. Ponder that before you leave a message."

"Jules," I said. "I miss you. I'm a horrible person. Please forgive me, even if I don't deserve it."

And I hung up.

***

Jules did not call back. It was Thursday and I had to get up, face the day, and let problem number one simmer in the background of my life indefinitely. I'd made my bed. I would just have to lie in it.

But, then again, it didn't necessarily mean I was going to give up.

To say my mom was chipper when I got downstairs would be an understatement. She was whistling as she made omelets.

"Good morning," she said. "I'm making your favorite."

It was true. They were my favorite. She was trying awful hard for someone who already won the fight. She set one on the table and handed me a fork.

"Thanks."

"So I know I'm your mother, and it's nearly too painful to bear, but I wanted to know how things were going with that girl…Ava, was it?"

I shrugged. "Fine? I don't know."

"Fine? As in a question? As if you think I know something?" She laughed. "I just want a _little _information. A tiny speck of something. Is she your…girlfriend?"

I took a bite of the eggs. If I didn't eat them soon, they would be cold and worthless. And if I answered with my mouth full, maybe she would be disgusted and quit bugging me. "No. Definitely not."

Fat chance. "Did you break up with her?"

"We've never been a couple, so there was no point at which I could. But, no, we're still going out, I guess. We're supposed to do something tomorrow night."

"Oh!" She walked over with a mug of coffee. "Does that mean I get to meet her?"

"Um. Probably not. I think we're meeting there."

"Oh."

In the short silence that followed, I shoved as many forkfuls of omelet into my mouth as I could.

"And the dance…when is that?"

"Nrft wrrk," I replied. I could feel a little piece of egg on the side of my face. (Ha!)

That seemed to do the trick. "Yeah, okay. I'll leave you alone. But I want to meet her, Ethan. If you're going to spend all this time with her, I should get to know her, too."

"It's not like we're getting married." _Despite what Jules thinks. _

And then I was back to Jules.

"I know, I know," she replied.

I abandoned the last third of the meal. "I'm heading out."

"Okay," she said. "Have a good day, dear."

"Thanks." I picked up my bag. "See you tonight."

I took the stairs slowly, mulling over what I could possibly do to get Jules to talk to me again. I needed more information. If I was there, across from her, or on the same rail as her, I could just read her expression and know what to say. Or at least get the ball rolling.

I needed a comrade-in-arms.

I pushed the button on my headset. "Call Justin Halifax."

It rang twice. As the third ring sounded, I was afraid I had somehow gotten the whole town of Polson mad at me. But before I could convince myself of that, he answered.

"Sorry," he said. "I had to give Jules an excuse as to why I was answering on our walk to the railstop. And then I had to hang back far enough to actually answer."

"Because you can't even talk to me in front of her. Great."

"Hey, listen," he said. "I'm not looking to get her mad at me too. Whatever you did, I want no part of it."

I shook my head. "I said bad things. But really, I've said worse. I just…I don't know how to make it better without actually _being there_."

"I really wish I could help. But she won't talk to me about it. She won't talk to me about _you_. It's like…I mention your name and she pretends she didn't even hear it. Whole sentences vanish from our conversations. She just ignores whatever I say. I've given up, actually."

_Wonderful._

"You have to keep it up, Justin. You have to keep bringing me up; you have to mention me as you always would. She has to crack sometime. Right?"

"I don't know man. It's Jules. Once she's decided something…"

"I know. I know. I just…I need help."

"I'll try, man. Listen, she's staring at me now. I gotta go."

"Okay." I could easily picture her in my mind, standing there with her hands on her hips, staring back at Justin as he tried to wrap up the conversation. Her left eyebrow would be slightly raised; one of her white-blonde pieces of hair would be falling across her forehead. "Thanks for the help."

"Sure thing," he replied, whispering. "Bye."

"Bye."

***

Ava sat next to me at lunch, smiling and excited for Friday. Aubree sat next to her, silent and brooding about something she didn't seem to want to talk about. Will was across from us, stirring his pudding and muttering something under his breath. Nate and Charlotte were locked in some whispered conversation that was only interrupted by Charlotte's occasional giggles.

I wasn't really paying much attention to any of them. I was focused on something else entirely.

_Eli, Eli had some socks_

_A dollar a pair and a nickel a box_

_The more you wear 'em the better they get_

_And you put 'em in the water and they don't get wet!_

I was thinking so hard about the song, it was hard to keep up with conversation.

"Did you get the suit yet?" Ava asked.

_Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy?_

"Um. No."

_Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy?_

"Ethan!" she said with an elbow to my side. _Ouch. _"We don't have a lot of time."

_Giddy and foolish the whole day through. Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy?_

"This weekend. I swear."

I tried to not look over at the Cullens' table. Problem was, the moment I realized I was trying not to look at them, I thought about them. And then I would think about Edward and how he was probably listening in. Could he hear that far? I wasn't sure what his range was, but I wasn't really going to ask, either. And then as I thought of Edward, I would remember the conversation we'd had the day before. And the subject of Bella…and…and…

_Way up North where there's ice and snow_

_There lived a penguin and his name was Joe_

_He got so tired of black and white_

_He wore pink slacks to the dance last night!_

It was uncomfortable to say the least.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," Will said.

"Hm?"

"Edward. He's staring right at you."

_Oh God, where did I slip up? _

"Oh. Weird." I allowed a glance in his direction. He wasn't throwing daggers via his eyes, luckily. His expression was more annoyed than anything else.

_Sorry. I just don't want to… _

He nodded. It was very slight, but I saw it.

_This is very weird to have a conversation with someone in my mind. _

He nodded again.

_I'll try to keep it down over here. I'm doing my best to keep from thinking about…_

And as thoughts were, I couldn't help but follow the train.

He sighed and looked away to the far wall.

"Ethan," Ava whispered. "Are you even listening to me?"

Had I missed something? Completely possible.

"Um. Sure."

"So what do you think?"

"About what?"

She groaned. "Rail in? Or have my father drive us?"

"For the dance?"

"Yeah."

"The rail, definitely."

The lunch warning went off and the noise and bustle of the cafeteria was a welcome sound. Ava gathered her things and followed me out the door.

"You know you'll have to meet him eventually," she said. "He's already threatened that we can't go out anymore if you don't introduce yourself tomorrow."

"Oh. Okay. Well…"

"Five minutes, that's all I ask."

"I thought we were going to meet there so you could have time to get ready and all that."

"Well you could just take the rail up to my place before, at say…seven? Then we could ride the last stops together."

I sighed. Was there really any way to get out of it? "Okay."

"Thank you." She looked around us for a moment, as if checking to see if anyone was watching. And then she kissed my cheek.

In public.

At school.

_Damn it. _

My face was on fire. "Um."

"See you after class," she said with a wink and ran off for her building.

Edward and Bella came around the corner. Edward was chuckling. They walked past me, pausing just before the stairway up to the building. He gave her a hug and whispered something in her ear.

_Gee, so glad to amuse. _

I stomped my way up to the classroom door, doing my best to ignore them.

The room was already half-full. I wound my way to the corner chair and dropped my bag beside me. I had a few moments to myself. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. It was a relief to not have to think though kiddie music for just a little while. Aunt Madison's house was only an hour away. It would be complete heaven to just lie on my bed and drift away and not think a damn thing…

"Hi, Ethan," Bella said. I jumped a little in my seat. "How are you today?"

I opened my eyes. "As good as I can be, I guess."

"Did everything get sorted out after I left yesterday?"

She had to already know what had gone down. There was no way she hadn't heard by now. "Yeah."

"Okay. Good. Thanks again for coming up. I realize it probably wasn't something you really wanted to do."

I shrugged. "I wanted to help. Wish I could have done more."

The answering smile was weak. "I appreciate it."

"Any new leads?" I asked.

Her forehead crinkled and the corners of her mouth turned down a little bit. "No. Nothing new. He's still gone."

And then the teacher entered, and the worry in her face vanished. She turned her eyes up to Mr. Barrett, attentive and studious. The smile she now wore was bright and in no way artificial. I couldn't imagine what it must have been like to turn that on every day. To have to wear that kind of mask for the whole world while a part of your family was missing.

Yes, I had problems. But maybe they weren't the worst in the world after all.

* * *

**Awwwww.**

**So what did you guys think? Questions? Comments? Please let me know in the reviews! :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**a/n: So I was planning on this chapter ending at a certain point that I actually wrote a couple weeks back. And then I started writing, and I didn't get there. I was thinking of just going and going until I did, but that chapter would have been too long for my life. And it would have been another week to get it out. So I just cut it here. Sorry [t20s] for my teaser siggy fail. **

**This is probably not the most plot-heavy chapter of all time. But I have been waiting for this day for ev er. I hope you like it. I had some people asking about the next Grace Note update. Here's the deal: the next GN chapter will most likely spoil some plot stuff here in Canon. So I'm going to take Ethan forward a couple days at least before we rewind to see what happened next to Aubree. 'Kay? **

**Oh, and I updated the playlist for Canon. The song for this chapter and the next are up there, and are possibly two of my favorite songs of all time. Seriously. Go listen. The link is on my profile. **

**Thanks to AZBella for betaing for me. :D**

**Thanks to Project Team Beta for looking over it on my second draft. They are fabulous and mahvelous.**

**Quite possibly geniuses. Thanks to my loves at [t20s]. Keep being awesome, you're damn good at it. Thanks to all the folks who review out here on ff. I love you dearly for it. For reals. And on to fifteen. Today I am Team…

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**

Chapter 15

Friday started with the darkest, thickest, most frightening storm I have ever seen in my life. When I rolled out of bed it hadn't actually started raining yet, but the light was weird in my room. I thought maybe the alarm was wrong and it was still four in the morning or something fun like that. But I checked the time and, sure enough, it was seven. I should have known. Machines are never wrong. Stupid Ethan.

The sky was a deep gray that was very near black. The clouds churned in on themselves, curling and writhing like a pit of snakes. A growl of thunder sent me backing away from the glass.

We had snow days back in Polson. Surely they had "really, really bad rain days" in Forks?

"Ethan!" Mom shouted. "You awake? School!"

_Guess not. _

"Yeah! Be right down!"

When I got to the kitchen I could hear the last murmurs and giggles of some conversation between Mom and Aunt Madison. They both looked up at me at the same time, both with the same dumb grin on their faces.

"So, Ethan," Mom said. "Today's the big date, eh?"

_Oh, here we go…_

I hid my embarrassment in the refrigerator. "Milk," I mumbled, and as the carton found its way from behind all the other drinks, I replied, "Yeah, I guess…"

"Are you excited?" she asked.

"We've been out before. I see her everyday. It's not like it's Christmas or something."

"Oh. Well, okay…"

Aunt Madison took over. "Ava's a nice gal. I'm glad you get along so well with her."

"Um. Okay." I stopped staring at the milk carton and picked it up off the shelf. I made myself a bowl of cereal.

"So, what's the plan for tonight exactly?" Mom asked. "What time will you be home?"

"Um. I'll probably stop over here for a couple hours after school. We're not meeting 'til seven. And then…I dunno. Bowling. How long does it take to bowl?"

"Sportspage was open 'til 1 a.m. on Fridays."

"Yeah. I doubt I'm gonna want to bowl 'til 1 a.m. But midnight isn't a bad guess. Let's just say I'll be in at midnight. And don't worry about waiting up for me. If you get tired, you're more than welcome to go to bed."

The two of them exchanged a look made of tiny smiles and raised eyebrows.

"Well, we'll see about that," Mom said.

They left me to my breakfast, murmuring and giggling again. And here I thought _one_ mother was bad enough.

***

I gave Justin another call on the way to the railstop to see if there were any developments in the Jules department. His reply was somber and short: "No. Sorry, man." It left me with a renewed feeling of depression that I carried with me onto the rail.

Which, of course, Ava took personally.

"What's wrong, Ethan?" she asked. She was sitting next to me, studying my frown. I should have figured out a way to turn it upside down as my mother always tried to get me to do. It would have been a lot less work.

"Nothing," I replied. "Just…nothing."

"You don't want to go out tonight." She turned her head forward, certain and angry.

_Gah…_

How many times was I going to have to have this conversation? Girls were just too much drama for me. Too much work. Too much time and effort and…

"No," I said. "Not that. Of course I want to go. I am just frustrated about Jules. I have to find a better way to ignore that part of my life."

"Still not worked out between you two?"

I sighed. "No. Some distant day, perhaps. But for now, I think I just have to learn to live with it."

"Okay. Sorry I jumped to conclusions." She put her hand on my arm. "I'm a little sensitive sometimes."

_A little? Sometimes? _

"It's okay. No worries." I spread the smile on thick.

When we got to school, the parking lot was very dark. Will and Aubree walked ahead of us with their hoods already activated even though there was still not a drop to be seen. A pair of cars pulled into the lot and took the first two spaces near the campus. The Cullens began to pour out.

Will stopped in his tracks. As I reached him, his hand flew out to my arm. He gripped the sleeve of my jacket.

"She's here," he said.

I followed his stare off to the first car. Through the driver's side window I could just barely make out a woman's profile framed with curling hair. Will dragged me forward slowly so he could get a better look.

It was Renesmee. I recognized her a little easier after having seen all the pictures that Bella had of her. And I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that as mature as she looked, she was their _daughter_. She looked older than they did. How did that happen?

_Weird._

And how did she even exist in the first place? The word "daughter" implies certain _things_. Carlisle at least added "adopted" and "foster" to his role as their father. Bella and Edward had given no such qualification in regards to Renesmee. Did that mean that they…

No, maybe not a subject I needed them to divulge. I certainly wasn't interested in a vampire sex ed class. I could almost imagine Edward standing in front of some outlined drawing of himself with a pointer in his hand, going on about the reproductive system of the undead. Definitely unpleasant.

But…were the theoretical fangs involved?

_New topic, Ethan. _

I looked over at Will; he was still holding tightly to my sweater. I don't think he was breathing.

"She's here," he whispered again.

Renesmee's face was blank. There was no smile, but no frown, either. She waved goodbye to them all and pulled the car out of the lot. The second car followed behind.

Will stared after the empty road. "She was here," he said.

Aubree came around and helped me to unclench his hand from my sleeve. "Yes, she was here. Now we have to get to class. Maybe she'll come back at the end of the day to pick them up. Take a breath."

He took a breath.

Aubree hooked his arm in hers and led him off toward their building.

There was a flash of lightning and a few seconds later a loud rumble of thunder followed. The sky erupted.

And I wasn't quick enough with my hood.

***

I wondered all day about Renesmee and her sudden appearance in their lives again – or at least in their _public_ lives – and what it meant for them. It was becoming too much my daily concern. I needed a real life. I needed _my _life.

I asked Bella about it in government anyways. She didn't seem to mind my whispered interruption to Mr. Barrett's lecture.

"I saw Renesmee this morning. Does that mean…?"

She was better at keeping it nonchalant. She kept her head forward as she replied. "Just wanted to get her out of the house. And if the boys had taken their bikes, they would have gotten caught in the rain."

"Oh."

"You have no idea how much it bothers Edward that he can't drive." She chuckled.

_HA!_

"That so?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's one of his passions, and it frustrates him to no end that the legislature passed. He really can't pass for 21, and we usually start out as young as we can claim."

"That passed like…fifty years ago," I said.

She nodded. "He poured a lot of money into the campaign against it, and now he has to depend on Jake for…"

There was a moment of silence and then I said, "Sorry."

"It's okay. Not your fault."

We let the awkward silence turn our attention to the lecture. Or at least we pretended to. Bella wore the painted smile, she typed up her notes, and I tried not to let my heart break as she coped. When the class was over, she reached down to her bag.

"I'm supposed to give you something," she said. "It's from Alice."

She pulled out a single wrapped Band-Aid, the kiddie kind, blue with glow-in-the-dark polka dots.

"Um. Thanks?" I studied it for a moment, trying to figure out the significance. When nothing came to mind, I slipped it into my back pocket.

"Just hold onto it." She smiled. "And have a good time tonight."

"How do you even know…?"

She raised her eyebrows.

_ Oh. Right. Edward. _

_All-knowing Edward. Stupid, fancy-pants, better-than-everyone Edward. I can read people's minds. Anything you can do, I can do better. _

_ And if he's right outside the door, he can probably hear you right now. _

_ Sorry, Edward. _

_ Oh, never mind. If you're out there, we both know I'm not sorry. _

_ I hate this. _

"Ethan?" Bella asked. "Are you in there?"

"Sorry," I replied. "Tell Alice…thanks?"

She nodded. "Don't ask me what it's for. I don't know. But she usually has good reasons. You can thank her on Monday."

***

When I got home, Mom was in the office. I could hear the clicking of her keystrokes around the corner.

"Ethan? That you?"

"Yeah, I'm home."

She walked into the room. "Did you survive the storm? Or do you need a towel again?"

My sweater had dried pretty well on the rail ride, and I didn't get a chance to get completely soaked again on my run from the rail to our porch.

"I think I'm okay," I said. "I'll just drop the shoes and socks at the door."

"That's probably a good idea," Mom replied. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. "How was your day?"

"Fine. Nothing exciting." I decided to leave it at that, hoping there wasn't another date-related conversation headed my way. I started towards my room.

"You going up to change?" she asked.

I paused on the first stair. "I was just going to do homework or whatever in my room until it was time to go."

"Oh. But you're not going to wear that tonight, are you?"

I looked down at my sweater. It was a faded blue, with a logo for the Flathead Raft Company. I couldn't see what was wrong with it. "Um. Yeah?"

Mom shook her head. "You should wear that nice button-up you have from Denise's wedding. The one with the stripes."

"Um. No."

She sighed. "Well, at least put on something clean. You've had that on all day."

"It's not dirty. Haven't you noticed it's been raining? It's kinda like it's been in the wash all day long."

"Not exactly, Ethan."

"Mom. It's silly to add another shirt to the pile. This one is fine." I looked down at the front and could find no stain, no reason to put something else on.

"It's a gesture. Be nice and change."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

It was an argument I knew I had lost before it even got started.

When I got upstairs, I turned on my notebook and shrugged off the sweater. There was no way I was going to wear the button-up. It wasn't a formal affair; it was bowling. I grabbed the first sweater that was hanging within reach and pulled it over my head.

I sat down in front of my notebook and called up Jules's profile. She had been online that morning, but not since the end of school. Phone calls were doing me no good; it was time to try another media.

_[Ethan Powell died, please leave a message] I admit to my incorrigible ass-ness. _

This ridiculousness was turning into the longest running fight in the history of our friendship. In its run at that point it was second only to the time she refused to talk to me for a month when we were thirteen, because I called her older brother Sean an idiot. This was possibly worse than that. But we were older now, wiser.

_Doesn't that mean we can get beyond such things?_

No. I was an ass.

I sat at the desk, staring at my inbox, waiting for the reply. She hadn't signed on yet, but it was only a matter of time. She wouldn't give up her time online just to avoid me.

Would she?

I tried going over my assignments for math as I sat there, but my eyes flicked over to the screen more than was helpful for homework. So I decided to check in with Justin again.

"Call Justin Halifax."

It only rang once this time, which left me a little curious.

"Hey man, I wish I had good news," Justin said.

"She's letting you answer my phone calls in her presence. That must be something."

"No man, she stayed home from school today. Sick or something. She told me to leave her be tonight, she wasn't up for anything."

"Sick? What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask."

"I hope she's okay."

His voice was blasé. "I'm sure she's fine. Listen, the guys and I just pulled up to Wild Horse. I'll talk to you later."

"'Kay. Bye."

And then I was back to staring at the screen of my notebook. If she had been home all day, there's no reason why she wouldn't have been online at some point. She must have been feeling really horrible to stay away from her notebook that long. _All_ day? There was just no way.

If I called her, would I seem desperate? Or just concerned?

Oh who was I kidding? I _was_ desperate.

"Call Jules Appleby"

_Ring._

_ Ring._

_ Ring. _

"Jules did not answer her phone. Either the world has ended or you have somehow managed to get on her blacklist. Ponder that before you leave a message."

I definitely fit the first category now. I left the message anyway. "Heard you weren't feeling well. If you could just call to tell me you're not dying, that'd be swell. Or you could get Justin to. Whatever…

"Anyways. Um. Just wanted to say that. And did I say I was sorry? I think I might have mentioned that. Hope it didn't get lost in the airwaves. If it did, I'll say it again. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Like mountains of sorry. A lake full of sorry. And I'm drowning in it…

"You're not there to cut me off. You're not there to laugh at my drama.

"This is a really long message with a very short point, and I think you get it. Call me."

I hung up.

I went back downstairs to make myself a sandwich. The impending date night was seeming more and more like a bad idea. Or torture. I was bound to be wrapped up in my new worry about Jules, and that never made for a good time with Ava. She seemed far too attuned to my moods than was normal.

As I pulled the pickles and turkey out of the fridge, the doorbell rang.

"Ethan!" Mom shouted from the office. "Can you get that? I'm expecting a package!"

"Yeah!" I sighed and walked over to open the door. I still had the pickle jar in my left hand.

The moment that followed will forever be burned in my memory as the one time I thought I might just actually faint. I'm not ashamed to admit it.

I pulled the door open and it was not quite the delivery person I was expecting.

At first I was confused and a little concerned for my mental well-being. Because obviously I was delusional. The person standing on the porch was five inches shorter than me. She had a cap of black and blonde hair. She was wearing a plaid skirt with red leggings underneath. Her shoes were black hi-tops, laced all the way up. She had on a yellow hoodie sweater and a black scarf. One hand was on her hip, and the other was gripping the strap of a bag slung over her shoulder.

This delivery person looked a lot like Jules.

I dropped the pickle jar on the floor. It thudded as it landed on the wood. I was lucky it didn't get my foot.

"This is my breaking point," I mumbled. "And it is being witnessed by some random postal worker."

"You going to let me in?" she asked. "Or am I supposed to stand out here in the freezing rain all day?"

I rubbed my eyes. When I removed my hands from my eye sockets, she was still there. She was still… "Jules?"

"Yes." She pointed a finger at her chest. "Jules."

"Oh God. Come in!" I pulled the door as wide as it would go. The sheeting rain hadn't let up through the day, and the wind blew in cold, wet air behind her. "What are you doing here? When did you…You're not sick, are you? Justin said you were sick. You're not dying, right? This isn't like a final visit before the end?"

She chuckled. "No. Not dying. Not sick. I'm okay."

_What is my problem? _

_ JULES IS HERE. _

My arms acted of their own volition. They wrapped around her and squeezed.

"I'm so sorry," I said. It came out muffled against the top of her head. A few strands of her hair ended up in my mouth. Oh well.

"I heard."

I was talking so quickly I'm not sure she heard me. "I'm a horrible person. I'm worse than anyone. I'm worse than Brett. I will go back to Polson with you now and jump in the lake if you want."

"I might take you up on that. But first, can I move again? That would be wonderful."

"Oh, sorry." I dropped my arms and took a couple steps back. "What are you doing here? Why? How?"

Mom stepped into the foyer. "Jules? What are you doing here, darling?" She laughed.

Jules looked over at Mom. "I had nothing to do this weekend." She shrugged. "I hope it's okay that I came down, Mrs. Powell."

"It's fine!" she replied. "Of course it's fine. Your parents know about all this?"

"Yeah, they know. Actually, Roger's in Helsinki this month, and Beebu might go for a visit with the twins. I was going to be all on my own anyhow."

Mom nodded. "Well, welcome to Forks." She turned to me. "Your room isn't a mess, is it? She's going to need a bed tonight."

I opened my mouth to reply, but Jules got there first.

"Oh, I don't want to kick him out of his own room."

And then I was going to say something, but Mom took over again.

"Don't be silly, of course you will take his room. He'll take the couch. It's the least we can do."

"I—" I said.

"You're sure?" Jules asked.

"Well, I—" I said.

"Of course we're sure," Mom said. "Not even a second thought. Ethan, go upstairs and make sure it's presentable. I'll give Jules a tour."

I waited, silent.

"Ethan?" Mom prompted.

"Oh, I get to talk now?"

"You hush," Mom said. "Go on."

Jules gave me a challenging grin, one of her eyebrows peaked. I shook my head, chuckling silently.

"Yeah, I'm going," I replied.

"Thanks, Mrs. Powell," Jules said as I walked upstairs. "I really appreciate it."

"C'mon," Mom said. "Let's go have a look at the more well-kept rooms of the house."

"I heard that!" I shouted from my door.

"Good!" Mom shouted back.

My room wasn't really _that _bad. The sweater I had changed out of was still lying on the floor, along with a pair of jeans from the week before and several pairs of socks, and my leftover homework was in a pile by the desk. I kicked the clothes under my bed and stacked the books a little neater. Did she expect me to actually _make_ the bed? Because I really didn't do that.

I pulled the sheets and comforter up over the pillow, tugging out the wrinkles as best as I could. They didn't seem to want to go away. And there was a lump somewhere near the foot of the bed that I couldn't figure out. The blankets there seemed to defy the laws of physics. There was no reason for the lump. It just _was_.

All the while, I was working with a stupid grin on my face, repeating the same three words over and over in my head: _Jules is here._

There was a knock at the open door. "Wow. He makes beds now," Jules said.

"Or attempts to," I replied.

She set her bag next to mine by the desk. It was gray with black writing all over it, thin cursive that looked like a pattern on the fabric unless you looked closer. A running public journal of sorts. A catalogue of her life. There was a lot less empty space on it than I remembered.

"How was the tour?" I asked.

She wandered around the room, studying Carter's trophies and medals, the posters on the wall. "It was good." She picked up a marker off the desk and took it to the mirrored closet door. "Nice place." She made a face at herself and then drew a handlebar mustache on her reflection.

"Are you going to tell me why you're really here?" I asked.

Her face went blank again. "Because, Ethan, we are not doing well. I don't know if you realize that."

"Yeah. I noticed."

She talked to me through the mirror. "And it's not only your fault. I mean…it's _mostly_ your fault, of course."

"Of course."

"But I had a hand in it. I mean, I've just been so angry…" She looked away from me, blankly into some downward part of the reflection in front of her. She probably wasn't really looking anywhere at all.

"Well, I said bad things."

"Yeah, but…" She sighed, and her eyes came back to meet mine. "But you're you. You know? It doesn't make much sense. After the conversation on the rail, I just didn't want to talk to you anymore. I didn't want to hear your voice. I didn't want to think about it. I just…hurt."

"I'm so sorry. It's probably the worst thing I have ever done in my—"

"Ethan. Let's be real. You said mean things, but it is in no way the worst thing you've ever done."

I sighed. "Okay. Then…?"

"So yesterday Justin gets a phone call while on our way to the rail. It's you. I know it's you. He knows I know it's you. But we say nothing anyway.

"And then all day long it bothers in my mind. That he can talk to you, and there's no reason why he shouldn't. But I can't. I don't want to.

"It took me all that day to figure it out. Why I hated you so much then." She grew quiet. "I was more upset about the decision, I think."

"The decision?"

"You were going to stay. I knew that the moment you told me it was your choice to make. And I was mad about that. I knew there wasn't anything I could do to change your mind. And I would have been horrible to even try."

"Oh."

"So you weren't coming home. And I couldn't do a damn thing about it."

"You know I wish I could."

She shrugged. "Your life is here now."

"And you live there."

"Exactly."

We were quiet. Jules added a goatee to her reflection.

"I'm still sorry," I said.

She turned around. "It's okay, Eepers. You have made that perfectly clear. So now I'm here to tell you that _I'm_ sorry."

"For?"

"For being a drama queen. For not being a friend. I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry you're stuck here."

I sighed and sank down onto the bed. "It's not horrible. I decided that yesterday. That I have it okay here. Things could be worse."

"That's good."

"And things are a hell of a lot better now." I smiled at her.

Her face brightened. "So tell me everything. I want to see it all. I want to experience the city of Forks at its Forksiest."

"You want to be a tourist in Forks, Washington?"

"Just give me a camera and some sunglasses."

"Or a hood and some waterproof shoes."

"Whatever works."

But we didn't really go out. We didn't even leave the room. She took a spot at the foot of my bed, cross-legged, with her marker in hand. She drew on the bottoms of my shoes and told me about life back in Polson. In all my time spent worrying about ghosts and robots and vampires, I had missed a lot of what had gone on in her world. Justin was dating a girl named Andrea from his future college. He was away every weekend visiting her at UMT. Jules's siblings were taking Taekwondo. Brett had broken up with Joy Peterson. Joy had a new boyfriend every week, so it wasn't entirely surprising. Jules was considering dying her hair red, or pink, or green, or all of the above. Beebu was pregnant, again. It was twins, again…

The gray outside the window turned to black. I found myself turning the light on in the room without breaking the conversation for a moment. When she was done with the bottoms of my shoes, she went on to draw on my socks and the edge of my pants. The pattern always changed, depending on what we talked about. There were stick figures of a girl and a guy shouting at each other. There was a shoreline and a distant boat on the water. There were trees and rain clouds and a guy walking around underneath with two forks stuck in his head. (Ha ha.)

"So, I'm definitely coming back for summer," I said. "I told Mom about it. She's okay."

"I already have our campsite reserved. I'm hoping Justin isn't going off to Billings or some such with his new puppy love."

I laughed. "Ah, let him have his fun."

"Eepers. You don't know. You haven't been there. He's up all night on his phone with her or online. He gets like two hours of sleep, and then he comes to school the next day looking like the undead..."

I giggled. I couldn't help it.

"…and I get to put up with him all day. Honestly, I can't imagine UMT is going to very much appreciate his level of ridiculous affection once he actually arrives on campus in September."

Downstairs, the doorbell rang. The postal service was running a little late, it seemed.

"Well you got to give the guy a little slack," I said. "He's been alone what? A whole month now?"

Jules rolled her eyes. "Yeah. And he's in _love." _

"Ethan!" Mom called. "You have a visitor!"

Jules raised her eyebrows and smiled. "A visitor, eh?"

"One sec," I said. I pulled myself off the bed. "Be right back."

With as much bizarre as I had been living through that particular week, I half expected to see Edward on my front porch holding a flashlight and a shovel, telling me we were off to dig up a new member of his "family."

But when I got to the foot of the stairs, I realized it was much, much worse than that.

Ava was standing just inside the doorway with her arms crossed and a cold stare reserved just for me.

"Oh no…" I mumbled.

_I just can't get anything right. Ever. _

"Oh yes," Ava said. "I've been sitting at my house making excuses to my dad for forty minutes now, Ethan. I gave that up. And then I tried calling…"

My headset was on my desk, so of course I didn't hear it. I had never hooked up to Carter's room system.

"I was worried. I thought maybe you had been eaten by bears or something."

"I'm so sorry," I said. "So, so sorry…Jules came up and we were talking and I just lost track of…"

"Jules?" she asked.

And the footsteps behind me told me that Jules was making her presence known.

"Ava, right?" she asked.

Ava's face twisted in horror for the shortest second, and then she wiped it clean and smiled. "Right."

"Nice to meet you," Jules said. She came to stand beside me and held out a hand.

Ava took it. "Likewise."

"Ethan, your date was _tonight_? And you forgot?" Jules turned to me and winked. "You're incorrigible."

"Tell me about it," Ava muttered. "Well, I guess we'll just have to do this another time. I mean I don't want to bother…"

I sighed. As horrible as it made me, I kinda liked this plan.

"No!" Jules said. "No, no, no. He's most definitely going with you. I'm the barger-iner. Go. Bowl. Have the time of your lives."

This option did not seem as appealing.

"Are you sure?" Ava asked.

And for the second time in a matter of hours, I was having a conversation where I didn't get to be the one making any decisions about my own life.

"Of course I'm sure," Jules said. "Don't worry about it. The former Mrs. Powell is probably up for a game of cards or something."

"Oh, well…" Ava said. She stuffed her hands in her pockets. "You could come along too, if you wanted."

I couldn't decide if that would be better or worse.

"No…" Jules said. She laughed. "You don't mean that."

"Sure I do," Ava said, defiant. "Of course you can come."

Jules thought this over and then…shrugged. "Let me go get my coat." She turned for the stairs.

"Sounds good," Ava replied. Once Jules was out of earshot, she said, "And all this time I thought Jules was a guy…"

"A guy?" I asked.

"You know, like Jules Verne. I just figured."

"Oh." I had no real response to that. "No. She's a she."

"I can see that."

Jules came prancing down the stairs with her yellow sweater on. She flipped up the hood and came to stand beside Ava.

"Well, lead the way," she said. "This should be fun."

* * *

…**JULES!!!**

**Be honest, who saw it (or her, rather) coming?**


	16. Chapter 16

**a/n: Apologies first. Sorry to Stephenie Meyer, whose wonderful lines I have butchered for my own selfish use in this chapter. It's only slightly cheesy. Promise.**

**Sorry to John Gordon, who wrote the book to 'You're a Good Man Charlie Brown,' for near plagiarism. We'll call it an homage, and I'll call it a day.**

**Thanks next. To AZBella for reading over my little worlds and helping me in any way possible. :)**

**To the girls at t20s who make my whole life with their constant wonderful enthusiasm for this story.**

**To my lovely reviewers here at FF. I LOVE YOU ALL. I'm sorry for being slow in replies. Just know that my delay only comes because I'm working towards next Tuesday. I'll try to be better this time around.**

**And if you haven't checked out the playlist for this story on my profile, fair enough. But I do hope you at least check out the song for this chapter. Because it is one of my favorite songs of all time and completely perfect for this.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Nae. Because of a text message she sent me a couple months back, asking a question I couldn't answer. Until now.**

**And today I am Team Pablo. :)

* * *

**

Chapter 16

The three of us took the rail into town. At first I thought it would be very, very awkward. I mean, who was I supposed to sit next to? There was just no right answer, and I wasn't sure which was the better offense. The not-girlfriend I would have to see every day at school? Or the best friend I had just made up with?

But Jules came to my rescue. When I sat down she took the seat behind me so Ava wouldn't have to be polite again and then secretly angry about having to be polite again.

We weren't the only ones headed into Forks that night. A couple of seniors I recognized as players on the varsity basketball team sat two rows back. There was a huddle of giggling freshies at the front. And just beside us there was a middle-aged man who seemed like he didn't quite belong on that particular rail ride.

Jules propped her arms on the back of our seat. "So, Ava, outside of tonight's potential date fiasco, how would you rate Ethan Powell as a suitor?"

"Jules," I said.

She ignored me and continued. "Using a scale of zero to one hundred – fifty being average, seventy-five being above average, ninety is excellent…"

"Jules," I said. "No."

"Shh…" she said. She looked at Ava who was, of course, blushing.

"Um…seventy?"

"Fair," Jules replied. "I would say you are being careful of his feelings. You don't have to be. He can take a critique."

Ava looked at me for a minute and then back to Jules. "Umm…"

"You don't have to say anything," I assured her. "I know I'm below average. Let's leave it at that."

_This is going to be one long trip…_

"Alright," Jules said, turning to Ava. "You have to tell me what this place is like. Tell me about you and your life and your everything. I want to know it all."

"Well…" Ava shifted in her seat. She adjusted the edge of her skirt. "I'm not sure what to say. How do you reply to something like that?"

I laughed. "I know. People kept asking me about Polson when I first moved here. I always had trouble with all the questions."

"How about…what are your interests?" Jules asked. "What do you hope to do after school?'

Ava shrugged. "I don't really know. I figure it's something I'll decide when I get there. I just want to make sure I get into a good school, and that Aubree and I can stay together."

"Your sister, right?"

Ava nodded.

"Twins?" Jules asked.

Ava nodded again. "You seem to know an awful lot about us…"

"Ethan is a Chatty Cathy, what can I say?" Jules said. "But what about your hopes and dreams? There must be _something_ you want from life."

Ava sighed. "A family. I've always wanted to raise a family." She blushed and looked off to the front of the rail.

"That's sweet," Jules said. "And far and above anything this kid ever wanted." She pointed her thumb in my direction.

"Hey," I said. "I have goals. I have aspirations."

"Yeah, right." Jules chuckled. "You have the goal of making it out of high school alive."

She didn't know just how true that rang. "Well…"

"Fine then, Eepers," she said. "What do you want to do with yourself?"

I almost choked on my own tongue at the sound of the nickname. My face burned. "Well, I'm barely passing government, so no public service. Maybe I'll work at Aunt Madison's store for the rest of my life. I'll probably inherit it or something, anyway. God knows Carter's not coming back to this place—"

"Wait," Ava said. She turned slightly, tucking one leg under the other so she could see Jules better. "What did you call him?"

"No," I said. "Don't repeat it."

Jules only smiled. "I called him—"

"NO."

"I called—"

"NO! NO! Don't you dare."

"Ethan, shush," Ava said. "I want to hear this."

Jules opened her mouth and I stared her down. She closed her mouth and smiled. "Maybe another time," she said. She threw a wink in Ava's direction.

_Great. _

"Anyways…" I said. "New topic. New topic."

"Well if you deny me my need to expose that particular embarrassment, I get to pick another one."

"No, no embarrassing me."

"You're no fun E—"

"Don't say it."

"—than."

"Good girl," I said.

"What am I, a dog?" Jules asked.

"No. Just the bane of my existence."

"Okay…" Ava said. "I vote for a new fun fact about Ethan, since that one seems to be vetoed."

"The ayes have it," Jules said. "Did you know that when Ethan here was seven, he locked himself in the basement of his house for an hour? Poor kid thought he was going to be stuck there forever."

"How do you lock yourself in a room?" Ava asked.

These girls were perhaps getting along _too_ well.

"It was really dark!" I said. "Really, really dark."

"It's not rocket science," Jules said. "It's a lock. She's got a point."

"If you can't find the door how do you unlock it?" I asked. "We need to talk about other things."

"Did you know that when Ethan was eleven he had a crush on a girl named Jenny Hodges, and he brought her flowers every day at school?" Jules wasn't even bothering to look at me now. Ava smiled at her and leaned against the back of the seat, turned to face her a little more. "Daisies."

"That's sweet. He's never brought _me _flowers…"

I groaned.

"And for good reason," Jules said. "They were his mother's prized daisies. When the first week of his romantic gestures had passed, every one of her plants had been decapitated. She yelled at him for an hour, at least."

Ava laughed. "Poor guy."

I leaned my head against the window. "This isn't going to stop anytime soon, is it?"

"Did you know that when Ethan was thirteen, he went stag to the Spring Fling and managed to pour punch all over himself as his first order of business? He was pink in a matter of minutes. He finished out the night bare-chested and wet-crotched, because he wouldn't relinquish the pants."

Ava's laughter picked up a bit. "Oh Ethan…"

I couldn't take it anymore. I sat up in the seat.

"Did you know that when Jules was twelve, she tried to ride her bike all the way around the lake, on a dare—"

"A dare from you," Jules said.

"—and she only got three miles around – the lake's circumference is about a hundred and twenty miles just so you know – before she was lost and calling her mom for help back home. Only Beebu wasn't at home. She was at the hospital in Billings, having twins. And Jules's dad was there too, of course. So they didn't really get any word of Jules's escapade until she had gotten back home. She was supposed to be at my house, sitting tight like a good girl. Ask me, Ava. Ask me how she got back home."

Ava played along. "How did she get back home?"

"She hitchhiked on a truck coming to town with a shipment of frozen chicken."

"Hey," Jules said with a smile. "Pablo was a good driver. And he knew some good knock-knock jokes."

"You're lucky, kid," I said, ruffling her hair. "Luckiest one ever."

"Don't you know it," Jules replied. "So, Ava, now that you know our deepest and darkest, do tell…anything I should be aware of? Ghosts lurking around corners? Bats in the belfry?"

Ava shrugged. "I've never tried to bike around a lake, if that's what you mean. I'm more of a rail girl myself. And no lake here to speak of."

"Right," Jules said.

"It's hard to get into a lot of trouble in a town like Forks," Ava said. "Nothing ever happens here."

_Yeah, right. _Nothing_ ever happens in Forks. _I almost rolled my eyes. _Nothing that ever happens anywhere else, you mean. _

"C'mon," Jules urged. "There has to be _something_…"

"No, Jules, she's right," I said. "Forks is a pretty boring place. You'd be hard pressed to get into any kind of shenanigans here."

She smiled. "Yeah. We'll see about that."

***

The bowling alley was a popular spot. Friday night meant the lights were low, the music was loud, and there were glowing pins and bowling balls. And because the fog outside wasn't enough, someone had the fake stuff cranking in. I couldn't figure out how that was supposed to aid in knocking the pins down, but maybe that's why they were glowing.

Jules went straight for lane eight once we picked up our shoes. Ava and I went to find balls we could lift. Ten thousand jokes ran through my teenage head as she tested the weights. But I bit my tongue. It was in poor taste, and I was supposed to be on a date, after all.

She ended up with one that was bright pink with a flashing light at its center. I picked a light green one that caught the blacklight enough that I could actually see it. I was more concerned that it was heavy enough that I wouldn't seem like a sissy. Ten pounds seemed okay. It didn't have the words "For the Kids" written between the holes, anyway.

Balls. Holes. Yes, I was going to have a hard time not laughing tonight.

Ava was giggling when we met up with Jules at our lane. I thought maybe I wasn't the only one with dirty jokes running through my mind – and I kinda liked Ava a little better for it – until I looked up at the score screen.

It really was only a matter of time. I don't know why I protested so much on the rail.

Player One – Jules. Player Two – Ava. Player Three – Eepers.

"Is that what she called you on the way over?" Ava asked, shouting above the music.

"I don't speak on such things," I replied.

"Eepers. I like it. It's cute."

"It doesn't leave the bowling alley," I said.

She nodded in mock solemnity.

"And you're not allowed to call me that. Ever."

"Sure. Of course." The smile spread.

"Jules!" I shouted. She was sitting in front of the keyboard for the display. She peeked her head over her shoulder. "Why? Why on Earth?"

Her head turned back around to the screen. "Had to happen. Get over it."

I groaned.

We played three games. Well, "played" is a strong word. Jules started a rousing game of interpretive dance-bowling – in which we had to express a mood through our movements down the alleyway before we threw the ball. When the night was over and the scores were tallied, Ava had taken the first two and Jules the third. But that was only because they danced a lot better than I did. And in my imbalance, I often ended up throwing the ball straight into the gutter.

I shouldn't have even gone along with it; I never did back home. But I was feeling sentimental. Who knew I was such a sap?

As I paid for our games, the girls went out to see how far off the rail was. The rain had cleared and they were desperate for fresh air. Especially because, at the end of the night, there was more fog indoors than out.

I handed our shoes to the guy behind the counter. "That's $27.50," he said.

I nodded and gave him my card. I looked over at the girls; they were just outside the glass doors. Jules sat on the railing on the right side of the stairway to the parking lot. Ava stood beside her, putting her raincoat back on.

Two figures approached the girls. They were tall. I squinted to see if I recognized them.

"Thanks man," the guy behind the counter said.

"Sure," I replied absently. He handed back my card.

One of the boys said something to Ava that had her looking out into the lot. The other guy moved to stand next to Jules. She was leaning away from him before he could even get near her.

This did not look good.

I shoved my card into my back pocket and double-timed it down the long entrance way. When I was only eight feet out I figured out who they were – the varsity guys from the rail. I saw the guy next to Jules reach for a slice of hair that was across her forehead.

And then I was running.

She slapped his hand away. But as she had been balancing precariously on the railing, the sudden shift of her weight sent her falling to the cement.

"Jules!" I shouted. I was just inside. The doors opened. "Jules!"

She was on her hands and knees. She stood up slowly and brushed herself off. The two guys were laughing. Ava was inching closer to Jules, now with her hood on.

"You okay?" Ava asked.

"Yeah. Yeah," Jules said. She glared at Asshat Number One, the guy who had been standing next to her.

"Hey," I said as I reached them. "Leave them alone."

Asshat Number Two smiled. "Why? Are they yours?"

"No. Because I'm not sure they really want you around," I said.

"Listen to this cream puff," Asshat Two said. "He thinks he's all tough."

Asshat One smiled. "Yeah. Do you know who you're talking to, buddy? We're your worst nightmare."

I laughed. "You are in _no_ way my worst nightmare. Trust me."

"That right?" Asshat One stared me down and cracked his knuckles. "Maybe you don't have much of a grasp of the situation."

"I really couldn't care less," I said. "Listen, I don't know if you realize this, but you're outnumbered."

"What?"

"There are three of us and two of you," I said. "And last time I checked, three was a bigger number than two."

"But they're just girls," Asshat Two said.

"This is truth," I said. "But do you really want to find out the hard way what two of them can do against one of you? I'm pretty sure I could take the other. So one of you gets beat up by a cream puff, and the other gets beat up by girls. Which one do you want to be?"

Asshat One leaned forward for a moment, sizing me up. I didn't move an inch. I looked into his eyes and tried to think of a reason why I should be scared of him, but I was coming up short. So what if he could probably give me a black eye as soon as look at me? I would take it. And I had enough fight in me that he wouldn't go quietly into the night unharmed. He wasn't indestructible. He was certainly no Emmett.

After a long moment of staring, and his heavy mouth breathing too close to my face, he took a step back. And in that one small movement, I had already won. He took another step back, eyes still narrowed. My smile grew.

"C'mon Devon," Asshat One said. "Let's go down to the bar."

_Yeah, like they're getting into a bar. _

"Have fun with that," I said. "Be sure to tip your waitress."

Asshat One put his hand on Asshat Two's shoulder and they walked off into the darkness of the parking lot.

Ava let out a long breath. She shuffled over and wrapped her arms around my neck. "How did you do that? Ethan…you just…"

I pulled her back. "You guys okay?" And then down to Jules. "Jules? Are you hurt?"

"Just a skinned knee," she said. She sat down on the concrete to study her injury. Her leggings were torn and there was a small scrape on the peak of her left kneecap. Ava let go of me as I went to help Jules with the cut.

"Here," I said. "I think I have something that will help." I pulled Alice's Band-Aid from my pocket, thanking her silently for her foresight. The polka dots glowed slightly from the blacklight leaking out the glass door.

"Thanks," Jules said. She looked up at me with familiar eyes, warm brown with a darker rim. "Thanks."

We both knew she wasn't talking about the Band-Aid.

"Anytime."

***

When we got to Ava's railstop, I did the gentlemanly thing and walked her to the front door. Jules waited for me at the bench, determined to take the last bit of the lap home with me. I felt awkward leaving her alone like that after all that had gone on just outside the bowling alley. But I knew of no wards for creepy guys. Garlic certainly wasn't an option this time. I put my headset on and told her to buzz if anything happened.

"So, that was different," Ava said as we walked down the drive. The lights in the house were still on, midnight or no, and I had a feeling someone was waiting to meet me inside.

"I'm really sorry again," I said. "I am just the worst date ever." Our footsteps echoed down into the trees and back, and I wondered how much Jules could hear from the stop.

"Not the worst ever," she replied. She wrapped her arm around mine. "You make up for your faults in spades. I still can't believe what you did…"

"I offered you two up to fight someone who was probably on the varsity basketball team. I don't know if that can be considered chivalrous."

"You got them to leave us alone. That's the part that counts."

"Yeah, right."

"You know that first day we met you, in the grocery store… Aubree said she thought you were scared of us."

"I probably was. I don't remember. I'm definitely still kind of scared of her."

She chuckled. "I remember her saying something when you left with your mom…something about how we intimidated you. And how you looked like you wanted to throw up. But I said you were probably tougher than that."

_Yeah, he's tougher than that. He sits next to vampires in government. _

"And then tonight…" She smiled. "You saved me."

I shrugged. "It wasn't like I could stand there and watch."

"Still…" She sighed. "I will always be grateful."

We reached the porch and she turned to face me. It was time for the traditional end-of-date kiss, and all I could think about was that her father was just three inches of wood away and that Jules was tapping her fingers against the railstop bench, whistling in the dark.

"I guess this is goodnight," she said.

"Yeah," I said.

She gave a small sigh and closed her eyes. Her breath clouded up in front of her as she tilted her head towards mine, waiting.

I couldn't just leave her there.

But what if he was watching?

Or, worse still, what if _she_ was watching?

I leaned down to Ava anyway. I planted a small, safe kiss on her lips and pulled away.

"Ethan?" she said.

"Um. Your dad?"

"Oh," she replied. "Yeah. You'll come in to at least introduce yourself, right?"

I nodded. "I'd like to do this as quickly and as painlessly as possible."

She turned the knob. "Of course. C'mon."

Her house was a lot nicer than Aunt Madison's. I could tell as I stepped inside that it was a lot newer – the floors were Newwood, the walls betrayed no noises from outside. The foyer was bright and open. There was a mirror to just the right of the doorway with a small table underneath it. A vase of flowers sat there, fresh, fragrant. I could see the stairs up ahead and two wide archways on either side that opened into other parts of the house.

"Ava?" a deep voice called – her father probably. "Are you home?"

"Yeah. It's me, Dad," she replied. "And someone is here to meet you." She took my hand for a moment and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Just two minutes," she whispered.

I glanced over at the mirror to make sure my hair wasn't being ridiculous. I tugged at the end of my sweater to straighten out any bunching. There wasn't much I could do about the reflection staring back at me. I tried to make the smile a little more genuine and failed.

The man that entered the foyer was almost as tall as Edward. (Since when had they become my height gauges?) He had brown hair that swept across his forehead in an attempt to cover a bald spot. His stomach was a little pudgy, but not so much that I would call him overweight. He crossed his arms as soon as he came to stand in front of us.

"You must be Ethan," he said.

Ava had inched away from me, allowing a good amount of space between us.

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

"You know that my daughter had to wait here for you for nearly an hour, only to give up and go searching for you herself? Do you know what kind of worry you put her through?"

_Tread lightly. _"I'm so sorry. So very sorry for tonight. I didn't mean to…"

"You didn't mean to. Well, that's all well and good but—"

"Daddy," Ava interrupted. "It was all a big misunderstanding. Promise."

He huffed. "You're Madison Marshall's nephew?" he asked.

"Yes." I shifted my weight.

"Your aunt is a very nice woman," he said.

"I like to think so," I replied. I fought the urge to stuff my hands into my pockets.

"Ethan should probably get going; it's awful late," Ava said.

Her father frowned a little bit. "Ethan, I don't want any heartbreak around here, is that understood?"

I nodded.

"And I don't want you two doing anything you wouldn't be comfortable telling your mothers, if you get what I mean. You do get what I mean, right?"

The nodding continued. I looked like a bobble head doll.

"Alright," he said. "Ava, say goodnight to the boy. Your sister's been asking when you would get home."

"Okay," Ava said. "I had a good time tonight, Ethan. Be sure to tell Jules goodnight for me."

"Will do," I replied. "It was nice to meet you, Mr. Parson."

"You too, Ethan. Long overdue." His arms were still crossed.

My face was turning red and I was nodding again. Ava took the couple steps back to the door with me. I could feel her father staring at us, and all I could think was, _don't you dare kiss me in front of him. Or touch me. Or breathe on me. _

She turned the knob and pulled the door open. She leaned against it and I took a protective step away from her.

"Maybe we'll see you around town tomorrow," Ava said.

"Sure thing," I replied. "'Night, Ava."

"'Night."

I stepped out into the open air and listened to the door click shut behind me. It took me a few seconds of just standing there and taking deep breaths before I could even think of walking. Sure, I could face up to two jocks from school with no problems, but ten words with Ava's father and my knees were going jelly on me.

I had a new ranking system for the scary people in my life. And he had just taken a place above the vampires.

Jules was waiting faithfully on the rail bench for me. It seemed like so much time had passed since I'd left her there, but she assured me I was only gone fifteen minutes.

"Did we miss the next lap?" I asked. I sat down next to her.

"Nah," she replied. "It should be here soon, though."

"So now that you've met the girl…"

Jules pursed her lips. "Not bad. I've seen worse."

I laughed. "Does Justin's girlfriend count as 'worse'?"

"Definitely. Ava is actually _nice_, if a bit of a button-lip. I want to meet Aubree. What are we doing tomorrow?"

"Well, I've got work until town close but—"

"That sounds like fun. Aunt Madison. Hiking boots. Bait. Living the high life."

The rail crested the hill to our left; its soft blue light spread across the rain-watered street. Jules and I stood to wait.

"You don't have to come with me."

"Don't be silly," Jules said. "Of course I do." The doors opened. She stepped aboard, trailing her hand on the banister as she climbed the stairs.

"It's going to be boring," I said.

She slid onto the first seat. "When is time spent with me ever boring?"

"True," I said as I sat next to her. "This is very true."

***

It was 2:00 in the morning and I was not asleep. Aunt Madison's clock sounded unfailingly, echoing down the hall. I turned over on the sofa and readjusted the quilt. It wasn't long enough to cover my feet, or, if I did cover my feet, it didn't get past my chest.

_I wonder if she's awake. _

It was weird to think she was even here, in this place. Even after listening to her talk to my mother as if no time had passed, even after spending the whole evening in town, I still couldn't fathom the idea that she was upstairs in my bed right that second. I couldn't believe she would come all this way just for me.

I should have been pretty good at believing the unbelievable by now, but it was a collision of worlds I was unprepared for.

_I wonder if she's awake. _

It was something I really didn't deserve.

_I bet she's awake. _

I kicked off the quilt. I felt silly tiptoeing up to my own bedroom, but I did. The wood underneath the carpet had a tendency to go off underfoot if one was not careful. When I got to the door, I wasn't sure what to do. Knocking was the common procedure in these circumstances, but that would wake the whole house. I settled for tapping.

"Jules," I whispered. "You up?"

There was no answer.

I tapped again.

"Jules?"

No answer.

I took the liberty of turning the knob. "Jules?"

The room was dark. A shaft of moonlight filtered in through the window beside her and spilled across her face and hair. The streaks of blonde glinted, and the black shined blue. Her lips were parted slightly. One arm was curled against her chest and the other lay next to her, clutching the blanket.

She was not awake.

But I spent the moment anyway, watching her breathe, thinking how lucky I was that she was here. How lucky I was that I had her at all.

And then I realized how much of a creepy stalker I was being.

I walked back out of the room and closed the door as quietly as I could.

I was wrong. It _was_ Christmas.

* * *

**Okay. A bit of a dalliance, this is true. But I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.**

**Still...I need to know what you thought. I need to know this like…like a writer needs similes. So please tell me****.**

**For those who haven't yet - please check out the companion to this fic. It's called "Grace Note" and the link is on my profile.**


	17. Chapter 17

**a/n: Hello my lovely friends. Welcome to the chapter that almost killed me.**

**Dramatic, I know. Sorry. But it's trufax, I'm afraid.**

**A few things before we get started: After you read this, you're going to ask me for an update on Grace Note. How do I know this? Alice told me so. I have to tell you now that it's being written but won't be posted until after Canon 18. It definitely spoils that chapter, and I won't have that. But I'll try to make it worth the wait. :)**

**Anyhow…thank yous are in order to AZBella for helping me not die of this one. Seriously. Seriously.**

**Thanks also to the wonderfully brilliant ladies of Project Team Beta. **

**And my friends at t20s. You rock my world it too many ways to count. Oh! And happy early birthday shout out to BittenByJacksper! :D**

**Thanks to all of you wonderful reviewers here on FF. I love reading every word you say.**

**I'm told this has a cliffie, so consider yourself warned.**

**This is in the running for longest a/n ever so…**

**Today I am Team Logan.

* * *

**

Chapter 17

So evidently my aunt wakes up at 5:00 in the morning, and that's a lot of fun. A half-hour later, my mother wakes up, and then it's really a party.

What do they do at this godforsaken hour, you ask? I can tell you what they _don't_ do. They don't quietly sit in the kitchen being quiet. They don't keep their mouths shut because _Ethan is sleeping on the couch in the next room, shhhhhhhh. _No, they do not do these things.

They make themselves breakfast. They talk about their day. And they do so in normal voices that can easily pierce the thin quilt over my head. Forget keeping warm. I was just trying to keep asleep.

Jules came down at six and I just straight gave up. My eyes were closed, but I listened as they greeted her.

"Jules!" Mom said. "You didn't get a chance to meet Maddy last night, did you?"

"No, we passed like ships in the night," Jules replied. "So good to finally get a face for the name. Ethan talks about you all the time."

"Me?" Aunt Madison replied. "He talks about _me_? I consider myself flattered."

"He says you make very good lasagna."

"I do. I would be humble, but I know it's true." Aunt Madison laughed. "You're a sweet girl. Ethan's lucky he has a good friend like you to come all this way and spend some time with him."

"I was looking for something to do," Jules said. "Just as much selfishness as anything else."

_Yeah. Right._

"Oh, Maddy, speaking of friends," Mom said, "I didn't tell you…I finally got to meet Ava last night. I like her. Jules, what did you think, dear?"

"I think she'll do wonders for him," Jules said. There was the rustle of packets being moved around, the sound of the fridge opening.

_Do wonders for me? _

"I think so too," Mom replied. "Did you meet any of his other friends?"

The fridge closed. "Not yet," Jules said. "But Ethan said they would probably see us in town today."

"Oh?" Aunt Madison said. "Are you coming in with us?"

"If that's okay with you, of course," Jules replied. A chair slid out, scraping against the floor.

"Sure, hon. I don't mind the company."

"I'm just happy he's not sulking around the house," Mom said. "I'm grateful you're here to lift his spirits. He won't talk to me."

"You know that's not you, Mrs. Powell," Jules replied. She coughed. "That's all _him." _

_Gee, thanks, Jules. _

"I mean, he just needs to _wake up_ and learn that he _can't_ just _keep to himself_ up here all the time."

_Got it, Jules. _

"Kid's got issues."

I picked myself up off the couch. The quilt came along with. I draped it around my shoulders like a cape. The light in the room was too new – it was giving me a headache. I wasn't used to this hour at all. I shuffled my way into the kitchen.

"Why, speak of the devil," Aunt Madison said. "Good morning, Ethan."

"Mhmrg…" I replied. Through squinting eyes, I saw Jules sitting at the table in her purple ninja pajamas next to my Mom and Aunt Madison. She smiled brightly as I crossed to the fridge.

"So when do we leave for work?" she asked.

I let Aunt Madison answer for me. "We open at nine, so I like to get there by eight."

I opened the door and leaned into the cold air. "Milk," I mumbled to the machine.

"Fabulous," Jules said. "Can Ethan show me how to stock shelves?"

"You're on vacation, dear," Mom said. "You don't have to help Ethan do his work."

"Oh, I like helping, Mrs. Powell. Idle hands and all that."

The milk found its way forward and I pulled it off the shelf. I took a glass down from the cabinet.

"Well, don't think that you _have _to. Ethan didn't say…?"

"No, of course not," Jules replied. "He would probably rather I stay home."

She was right. If I thought I had a chance of arguing the point, I probably would have tried to get her to just meet me after work…for a couple of reasons. One – my work is boring. Two – Ava threatened a visit. Three – Ava meant Aubree. And Aubree probably meant Will.

Okay, maybe I was over-thinking things a little bit. Ava was only out with the girls, shopping for dresses. Even if that were to change…my friends were probably safe for her to meet. Embarrassing possibly, but Ava was supposed to be the greatest of my fears, and that had proven to be a lot easier than expected.

But with _some_ friends – the ones who had gone through more high schools than I had fingers _and _toes – maybe I wasn't really interested in her meeting them. Maybe it would be better for her just to "miss" them altogether on this particular visit.

I poured my milk and shoved the carton back in the fridge.

It wasn't that I thought the Cullens would hurt her. No, I knew better than that. I just didn't want them to spark her curiosity. I didn't want her following in my footsteps – she would get there a lot faster than I had. And, had I the choice, I would happily go back to the innocent bliss I had lived in before.

Jules spread cream cheese on one half of her bagel and strawberry jam on the other. I came to take the last empty seat beside her at the table. She handed the half with the cream cheese over to me.

"Thanks," I said.

"You're welcome." She bit into her own bagel half and smiled. There was jam on the corner of her mouth.

Yes, I would try my best to keep my drama out of her world. She didn't need it.

***

The first half of the day wasn't too bad. Jules "helped" me work by trying on the various outdoor outfits around the store, like some kind of really lame doll. She was Fisherwoman Jules – complete with thigh-high waterproof boots, giant floppy hat, and fishing rod. She was Hiker Jules – with pink boots and a tall polished walking stick. And she was Extreme Weather Jules – with fur-lined Eskimo body wrap, waterproof gloves, and heated face protector.

When it got too hot in the body wrap, she abandoned the outfit and lifted herself up onto the work counter in the back. She sat there with her legs dangling down as I stuffed boxes and put labels on them.

"So this is your job?" she asked, eyeing the stack of the thirty kajillion boxes I had already stuffed and stamped, and the fifty kajillion I still had left to go.

"Yep," I replied. "I'm really living it up over here."

"Well, you're certainly getting paid more than I do for babysitting." She kicked her legs back and forth. She was wearing olive green Capri pants with multi-colored striped socks and a pair of heavy black boots.

And all I could think was…_how did it all fit in the bag? _

"Think again," I said.

"Oh, man…" she said. "That's…ungood."

"My sentiments exactly."

Over the loudspeaker we heard, "Sales assistance to the front counter, please."

I stood up and brushed off my pants. "That is her fancy way of saying, 'Ethan get your butt up here.'"

Jules laughed and hopped off the counter to follow me. We wove our way up to the front of the store. There was a small huddle of people waiting with varying degrees of smiles on their faces. Aunt Madison watched from the counter, her head propped up on her hands, as Jules and I came to stand in front of them.

_All_ of them. At the same time.

Lovely.

Nate had his arm around Charlotte's shoulders. She was grinning and holding a shopping bag. Aubree stood next to Ava, and they looked a lot more alike than they usually did. They wore the same polite, forced expression. And while the lines and finer details of their faces were different, I knew neither was happy to be where they were. They both had white garment bags in their hands. Will was just to the left of them, in a sweater that read "Future Tense and the Pluralizers." His smirk spread as he sized us up.

"So this is Jules," Will said. "I thought she'd be taller."

"And you're annoying," Jules replied. "So that makes you…Will, right?"

I couldn't help but smile a little bit. At least I kept it subdued; Nate burst into a fit of hysterics. Will reached around the girls to smack the back of his head.

I looked over at Ava. "I thought it was just going to be the three of you…?"

"Nate and Will were hanging around the café, and we stopped in to say hi, and I might have mentioned Jules and…the rest is history."

"So do I get introduced around?" Jules asked. "Or is this part of the initiation? Do I have to guess for everyone else? Not that I mind…"

I shook my head. "Sorry. Ava you know, and this is her sister, Aubree. And last but not least, Nate and Charlotte." I took a deep breath to address the group. "And guys, this is Jules. Be nice. Please."

Aubree's polite smile died. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. They were back to looking different again.

"We were hoping you would be on your lunch break soon," Ava said. She turned to Aunt Madison. "Could Ethan come out to get some food with us, Mrs. Marshall?"

"_Can Ethan come out to play?" Not at all embarrassing, Ava. Thanks for that._

At least she wasn't hugging me.

"Sure," Aunt Madison said. "Go ahead, kid. Take the day."

The whole day?

"I'm off?" I asked.

"Do you see a lot of work around here to do?"

Only the kajillion or so boxes in the back room…

"Not really," I said.

"Alright, go ahead then."

"Thanks," I replied.

Ava walked over to the counter with her bag. "Do you think we could leave our dresses here while we eat? We can pick them up before you close."

"Sure thing, hon," Aunt Madison said. She reached for the garment bag and hooked it on the apron hanger behind the counter. Charlotte and Aubree added their bags as well.

And then, before Aunt Madison could change her mind or get a good look at the stockroom, I put my hand on Jules's shoulder and gave her a gentle push towards the door. "Let's get gone."

The crowd shuffled outside. Hoods went up, drawstrings were tightened. We were the first ones out, but we stood back for a minute as the rest of them headed out into the rain. Jules chuckled.

"You all look like a gang," she whispered. "Or a poorly choreographed musical number about a gang, rather."

Evidently their habits were rubbing off on me. I didn't realize I had even put up my hood. But, sure enough, it was there.

"Hey," I replied. "When you're a fork, you're a fork all the way…"

We linked arms and followed after, jogging. We headed down the block to the diner. When we got inside, we took one of the booths that lined the front window. I sat between Ava and Jules; Aubree took the spot across from us with Nate and Charlotte. Will dragged over a chair to sit at the end.

The waitress stopped over – still the same woman, always the same woman. I was beginning to think no one else worked there. Maybe she owned the place.

"What can I get you kids?" she asked.

The menu screen at the head of the table was flashing the specials of the day. Most everyone ignored it. We had orders of cheeseburgers go around the table, save for Ava, who asked for a salad. I followed the trend, and Jules said she would just eat my fries. Will, however…

"What I want is the chicken sandwich. But I want provolone instead of Swiss. And pickles on only half of it. And can you make sure the chicken is still hot when it comes out? No tomato, extra lettuce. Any condiments…put them on the side. And barbeque and ranch sauce to dip. And some chocolate sauce too. Do you have any pudding…?"

The waitress narrowed her eyes. "I'd have to check in the back."

"Yeah. Do that," he said.

And because he most definitely wasn't going to, I said, "Thank you very much."

"Sure thing," the waitress replied. She turned on her heel and left for the kitchen.

There was a moment of complete silence. We looked at each other, unsure of what topics were really suitable to bring up with this new group dynamic. I was only there to dodge bullets, to spare myself from humiliation at any possible turn.

"What are the dresses for?" Jules asked Ava.

"We have a dance coming up next weekend," she replied, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Ethan doesn't even have a suit yet."

"Oh, I can take care of that," Jules said. "I'll take him tomorrow and make sure he doesn't end up in something that makes him look like a dimwit."

"Oh, you don't have to," Ava said. "I mean, you're probably only here for the weekend. Right? I don't want you to waste all your time here running errands…"

"It's really no problem," Jules replied. "Believe me. I'm not sure you want to know what he'll end up in if I don't go help him."

"C'mon," I said. "It was just the one dance. Am I ever going to live it down?"

"Never. Never ever. Never ever ever."

"Is there a story here somewhere?" Charlotte asked.

"No," I said, at the same time that Jules said, "Yes."

I groaned. Bullet dodging – unsuccessful.

"Ethan played the waiting game for his suit at our eighth grade cotillion." Jules's face lit up as she recalled the night. "He was the absolute last person in our entire class to get a suit. And they only had one left that even came close to his size range."

"What was it?" Nate asked.

"White. All white. The sleeves hung on him like mittens and he kept tripping over his own pants. And the very best part were the shoes, which were an interesting shade of purple."

"Hey," I said. "Those were—"

"Your shoes. I know," Jules said. "Like I said, best part of the outfit."

The girls giggled, a high tittering noise that was sure to come back and haunt me in the middle of the night.

"What did his date have to say about it?" Ava asked.

"Oh, I didn't mind," Jules said. "But I'm pretty forgiving as far as clothing is concerned."

The giggles faded. Ava's smile went back to Politeville.

"Well, I really appreciate it," she said.

"No problem."

Nate assigned himself the task of drumming up conversation on what we were going to do with the rest of my unexpected time off from work. "We're going to have to do something crazy awesome."

Will leaned over to Jules. "You didn't bring a flashlight up with you by chance, did you?"

"I always bring flashlights everywhere," she replied with a wink over to me. She reached into her bag and pulled out a hand-sized one and turned it on. She held it under her face. "Life is better with a flashlight."

Will was dumbstruck – a new look for him. "Oh. Good."

"Yeah, there's an idea," Nate said. "And Char's not sick this time so…"

His enthusiasm was not catching. Ava shrugged. Aubree said, "Whatever," and turned to stare out the window.

Charlotte tried to fill the awkward silence. "We play this game called Cemetery Tag sometimes and…"

Jules was nodding. "Ethan told me. Sounds like fun."

"So evidently you know everything about us," Will said. "I wish we could say the same of you."

"What do you want to know? My life is an open book."

"Open book? Hmm…oh! I know." He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. Important words to come, indeed. "What is your favorite band?"

Yes, this would definitely be proof of her worth to society.

"Favorite is a strong word," Jules said. "I doubt it's a title I could really assign to one band."

"You're stalling. You just don't want to admit that you're another fan of Spare Hearts_."_

"Hey," Charlotte protested. "I like Spare Hearts_."_

"And there is no shame in that," Jules said. "'Lonely for Awhile' is a good song."

"Ha!" Will said, leaning back in his chair. "I knew it!"

"But," Jules continued, "they would definitely not fall in my 'favorite' category. I think if I had to pick a couple bands, because I can't really limit it to one, I would go with…Jet School Robot_, _Greenflier, Gee,and…well, the Pluralizers are good too, of course." She held a hand out, gesturing to his sweater.

Will opened his mouth, but no words came out.

I laughed. Flabbergasted Will was kind of fun to watch.

"I saw them in concert once," Jules said. "For my birthday one year, Beebu took me down to Seattle. It was a good night."

"You. Did. Not," Will said.

"I did so," Jules said. "Andrew Bishop signed a shirt for me. I don't wear it though. It hangs in my room."

There was a mixture of pain and hatred in his eyes, probably a good dose of jealousy in there somewhere too. He ran a hand over the hair-covered side of his head.

She had successfully shut him up.

Hallelujah.

The food came, and the conversation that had died never really got a chance to pick up again. Nate and Charlotte talked between themselves, Will sulked, Aubree kept to herself, and Ava murmured things to Jules – pointing out different town landmarks through the glass of the window. I was thankful for her decision to play the even-tempered hostess. It was easier that way.

And I have to admit, I was very glad no one was talking about me for a change.

When the meal was over and I had left a very big tip for the waitress, we took to the sidewalk outside again. It seemed to be the consensus that we would be playing a round of Cemetery Tag that night, which meant we had some hours to kill. Window-shopping is never my first choice, but Jules seemed happy to just tag along with the group and soak in the scenery.

"It's really not that different," she muttered to me.

I nodded. "I know. I swear you could change the street names and switch a couple of the major buildings around and it's like home. I think that's what makes it worse. It's _almost _home. But it's not. You know?"

"Yeah. I know."

We wandered around nearly the whole town. Jules found a couple shops that had trinkets she could take home as souvenirs. She bought a spoon with a miniature painting of the Hoh River Valley – the fact that it was a spoon made her laugh uncontrollably for twenty minutes. None of the others seemed to get the joke. She also got a shirt that read, "Forks, Washington is My Happy Place!"

As the sun set, the shops started to close for the evening. The café lights stayed on, as well as the bowling alley's and the diner's. We had done a full circuit and were heading back up the block to the rail. I noticed the shop across from the diner was still open.

Will was ahead of us, tugging on Aubree's arm. "C'mon, it will only be a second."

"We have to go back for our dresses." She groaned. "And she's not there. You know that, right?"

"Can't hurt to peek. Let's go." He looked down the street to make sure there was no traffic coming and jaywalked. Nate and Charlotte immediately followed. They were aiming for that one lone light at the end of the block.

"Where are we going?" I asked Ava.

We were already stepping into the street as she answered. "That's Jake's shop. I'm sure Will just wants to see if the wife is in…"

_Oh no…no no no. _

"Um, well, maybe Jules and I should just head home. We probably should have dinner with my Mom and—"

"Ethan, don't be ridiculous. It's not even six," Jules said. "We've got time. C'mon."

There was no reason for the shop to be open at all. The last report was that Jake was still gone. Maybe this was good news, and he had come back after all, but I wasn't entirely looking forward to finding out this way.

"Jules, this is kind of silly. Let's just go home."

"What's your problem?" Jules asked. She didn't slow and I had to actually tug on her arm to get her to stop just outside the door.

Ava lingered with us as the rest of them filed inside. A mechanical bell jingled.

"I just think we should get back home and…"

Jules pulled her arm from my hand. "Fine. Go home. I'm going to stay behind and not ditch your friends. I'll catch up later." She turned around and walked into the shop.

I sighed.

"Are you eager to get the day over with?" Ava asked. "Do we embarrass you?"

"No, it's not that. Of course not."

"Right. Whatever." She stepped backwards in the direction of the shop and then turned as she reached the door.

I was two for two.

Fabulous.

I had to follow them; there was no way I could just wait outside. I could see them through the window, all huddled together in front of the counter. Will was leaning against it, trying to get a better look into the garage space off to the side.

I took a breath and walked up to the door. As I stepped inside, the bell jingled again, and a figure came through the side entry to greet us. He was tall. He was broad shouldered to the point of looking like a cartoon character. He had a wrench in his hand and a smile on his face.

It was Emmett Cullen.

"Can I help you guys?" he asked. "You here to pick up?"

Will hopped down from the counter. "Oh. No. We were just looking for someone." The group took a couple unconscious steps backwards. It didn't matter how friendly his grin was.

"Oh, sorry. Jake is…out of town for a while."

I looked out to the garage. The lights were on and a rock song was playing in the background. There was a green car with its hood up in the center of the room…and the unmistakable profile of Rosalie Hale leaning over the engine.

And then I noticed Logan next to the counter, fishing through a toolbox. He waved.

I gave the tiniest wave back.

"Who is this guy?" Jules asked in a whisper. "And where is his blue ox?"

Emmett's eyes met mine for a second and he chuckled.

"Um. Just a guy who goes to our school," I replied.

"Oh," she replied. She looked into the garage, fascinated, as Rosalie turned some kind of bolt with her fingers – and I realized Rose probably didn't have much use for tools. Her hands were greasy.

"And what's with the calendar girl in the garage? If Justin was here he would probably faint."

It was definitely time to leave.

Will was trying to maintain a conversation with Emmett. "I just thought… She was there on Friday and…"

"You mean Ness?" Emmett said. "Yeah, she's home. Only Jake is gone. Little trip. We're watching things while he's away."

"Oh," Will replied, crestfallen. "Okay. Thanks anyhow." He shuffled back to the front door. Our time there was thankfully over.

The girls went back to get their dresses from Aunt Madison, and Jules tagged along with them. Despite Emmett's words to the contrary, Will decided to check the back entrance of the garage in case a certain woman was back there, waiting for no reason. Right. Nate went along with him for laughs.

And that's how I ended up leaning against the brick of the garage, alone, as Logan decided to come outside. He looked up and down the street, only to find me.

"Did Aubree leave?" he asked.

_And you want to know this because…? _"Um. She went to get something. She'll be back in a minute."

"Ok. Good." He took a place beside me, wiping his hands with a rag. Evidently he was waiting. "How you been?"

"Good. Yourself?"

"Tired," he replied. "Closing out all Jake's orders is kind of a big mess. I don't understand how his record-keeping system works."

"Oh," I said.

"Jonah refused to help so…" He sighed. "Without Rose, there's no way I'd have gotten any of it finished."

"She seems very…handy."

Logan laughed and patted my shoulder. "That's true enough." I could feel the heat of his hand through my sweater.

"You okay, man? You got a fever or something?"

"Oh, no." Logan dropped his hand. "That's just a wolf thing. Never mind it."

_A "wolf thing?" As in "werewolf?"_

Emmett _had _said I was spending too much time in La Push. Maybe Logan was the reason I was disappearing all the time.

I reflexively looked around to make sure no one was in earshot. "You mean, you're…"

"I thought Edward said you were in the loop. I didn't just…" He sighed. "No, wait, I probably couldn't have if I tried."

"I am. I just didn't know you…"

"Yeah. Me. Seth. Jonah. Trip. Didn't you ever wonder why we are so ginormous? We kind of wreck the curve on the average height of the Quileute tribe. I always wonder why people don't question it. We are not normal by any stretch of the imagination."

"I guess I didn't really think about it much. I try not to let that stuff occupy too much of my mind."

_I try. _

"Ah. In that case…I don't blame you," he said. He nodded as the girls came walking down the block.

Ava and Aubree were carrying their dresses again. Charlotte had her smaller bag swinging beside her. Jules smiled at me from across the distance and mouthed, "You're in trouble."

What now?

Ava said something that had Aubree laughing for a moment. And then they saw us, or Logan to be more precise. Aubree froze in her tracks.

Logan lifted himself off the wall. "I'll see you later, man."

"Bye."

He met up with Aubree just a few yards away. Ava and Charlotte stared in open-mouthed wonder at his approach. Maybe it was his carefree attitude, or maybe it was his tanned musculature – who was I to know? I probably should have been a little jealous that Ava stared at him like that, but I couldn't find it in me to care too much.

He said something to Aubree in a low voice. She turned a shade of pink and nodded.

"I'll just be a sec guys," she said. She followed Logan back into the garage.

I walked over to the girls; the gossip was already underway.

"What's all that about?" Jules asked Ava. "Is that her boyfriend?"

"No. Definitely not," Ava replied. "I have no idea what it's about…" Her forehead crinkled in concern. She moved to the front window and shaded her eyes with her hand.

"Ooh, drama," Jules said. "And you thought this place was boring."

"I doubt it's drama," I replied.

"I bet he's a _secret_ boyfriend. I'm going to have to look him up when we get home."

"Jules," I said. "You could just leave it alone."

"That's no fun."

"There are some things in this world that are meant to stay secret."

She chuckled. "Yeah, and you know this because you're a keeper of vast secrets. Ha."

But the conversation, or whatever it was, didn't take very long because Aubree walked back out of the garage only minutes later. Ava went to meet her at the door, mumbling something. Aubree shook her head and looked off to the rail stop. She sighed.

"C'mon, guys," she said. "Let's go home."

***

The ride back home was bizarre. Ava dragged Aubree to the back of the rail to whisper about whatever had gone on with Logan in the garage. Will and Nate were clueless and bothering me about it as we stepped aboard. It took five shrugs before they realized that I really _didn't_ know what was going on.

So they took a spot near the middle of the rail and attempted to eavesdrop.

Jules and I took the front seat. Whatever Logan had talked to Aubree about, I was relatively certain I wanted no part in it. It was her business, and his business, and Ava would probably tell me at some point, anyhow.

"So, now that we're alone…" Jules said.

"Hm?" I was leaning back on the seat with my eyes closed, listening to the non-sounds of the rail. Trying hard not to pay attention to Will's speculations that found their way into my ear every now and then.

"Are you going to tell me who that guy was?" Jules asked.

Two rows back, Will was hissing his words. "No, Nate. If she was dating the guy, she would have told me."

"Just a guy," I replied. "His name is Logan."

"Don't give me this 'just a guy' crap, Eepers." She nudged me with her elbow. "He was like eight feet tall and could have lifted a building. That is not the definition of 'just a guy.'"

"I don't appreciate the hyperbole. He's perfectly normal. Why do you care anyhow? You like him or something?"

"Don't turn this around. And since when do you keep secrets from me?"

Will's voice found its way up to my ear again. _"_Of course it has to do with the beach. It has to."

"I'm not keeping secrets," I said. "I met him at our beach trip. He lives on the rez. He's a cool kid. That's it."

"And Aubree's involvement?"

"Why do you care?"

"You don't?"

"You need to drop this. And…why am I in trouble?"

"Nice. Very subtle with the subject change." She chuckled. "I don't know if you have the stomach for it."

"Just tell me."

"Tell me about Aubree."

"That's her story. Go ask her."

"Fine," she said. "Then you can ask Ava why you're in trouble."

_Great. _

"Maybe I will."

"Good."

At the next stop, a couple of chatting women came aboard and sat two rows back. Their noise successfully blocked Will and Nate and their theories. Jules looked out the window as we sped through the forest track. Little droplets of rain ran across the glass and she traced their trails with her finger.

I thought about the whole mess. I told myself I didn't want to know about Aubree, and I didn't. But it was enough of a mystery that I couldn't help but wonder about it. We all knew it had to be tied up with what happened to her at the beach, about how the locals had rescued her, but no one knew of her even breathing a word to any of them since the day of the bonfire. Heck, I figured she was trying to forget it all. I know I would.

Who wants to remember the day they nearly died?

And then you add the dash of werewolf into the equation and we get ourselves a shepherd's pie of a puzzle. Layer upon delicious layer of things that just didn't make sense together and couldn't be separated enough to analyze individually.

At least I knew how they had managed to save her. Being a werewolf came with a few perks, evidently.

"Didn't you ever wonder why we are so ginormous?" Logan had said. "We kind of wreck the curve on the average height of the Quileute tribe. I always wonder why people don't question it. We are not normal by any stretch of the imagination."

As his words replayed themselves in my head, a completely different person that fit Logan's description came to mind. Another Quileute I knew who was too big to be a candidate for normalcy. I opened my eyes and jerked upright. I stared blankly at the seat in front of me.

Why hadn't I thought of it before?

It was _so_ obvious.

"Now approaching stop 65_," _the rail-voice said.

Will shouted something of a goodbye back to the girls and made his way down to the aisle. He stopped at our seat for a moment.

"See you guys tonight. You're driving, right, E?" he asked.

"Hm?" I replied. "Oh. Yeah. Sure thing."

"Good man." And he walked down the stairs.

But, if it was true, wouldn't Logan have mentioned him?

Jeremy wasn't a werewolf…was he?

* * *

**Yeah, you guys knew that already. Right? Well Ethan finally figured it out.**

**Please leave me a note in the reviews as to what you thought. :)**

**And, if you're interested, come join in the fun that dearest Lindsey set in motion: the Canon/Grace Note fan group on FB. We've got some cool kids in residence. ;) There's a link in my profile. Hope to see you all there!**


	18. Chapter 18

**a/n: Okay, loves, welcome to chapter the eighteenth. I hope this answers some questions. I hope this is entertaining. And, most of all, I hope this doesn't make you want to throw your computer out of a window. It might make a couple people mad, and I'm sorry for that. I hope more of you are made happy. **

**Thank you to AZBella for her kind words and guidance to make this better. Thank you to my wonderful betas from Project Team Beta who make this all shiny brand new. Thank you to all the wonderful reviewers here at FF. I can't even tell you how great you are. I keep trying and I fail every time. **

**This chapter has the absolute worst cliffie in the entire story. Be ready for it.**

**The song for this chapter is _Trading Air_**** by Athlete. **

***sigh* Here we go. I'm nervous. Today I am Team Flannel Pajama Bottoms. *giggle*

* * *

**

Chapter 18

Cemetery tag was on, and Jules was kicking ass and taking names. She came prepared – she wore thin black pants and a black sweater. She even had the forethought to switch for some small black slippers to help prevent the noise her boots would probably make. She won the first three rounds, invisible and completely silent in the darkness. No one could figure out where she was hiding. The moment the last person was called tagged she would materialize beside one of us, and that person (aka Ethan Powell) would scream like a little girl.

Needless to say, Will was growing a little bit angry over her…skills.

It didn't help that every time she won the round she chose Will for Ghost.

"Okay," he said. "I'm starting the count now. So go already."

Jules winked at me and slipped away into the shadow of the chapel. Nate and Charlotte held hands and ran off toward the street. Ava turned off her flashlight and used it to motion toward the last row of tombstones at the back of the cemetery. I fell in line behind her and we ran as quietly as we could. When we made it there, we ducked behind the graves – on the less awkward, body-free side of the stone.

Aubree had elected to stay home instead of coming down for the game. Whatever had happened with Logan had her – as Ava so eloquently put it – "sulking in her socks." I was the tiniest bit curious what their conversation had been about, but I wasn't at all interested in trying to further tangle myself in the situation. I just couldn't believe that, after all that had gone on at the bonfire, he would walk up to her like that, take her aside as he had. It wasn't hard to see how uncomfortable she was around him, and it didn't take a genius to figure out why.

Off in the distance, Will's counting grew louder for a moment, "Eighteen…nineteen…twenty! Jules Appleby, I'm going to destroy you."

Yeah, they were getting on like gangbusters.

I heard a soft giggle from somewhere off to my left. But there was no rustle of leaves in the trees or movement in the grass.

"Did you hear that?" Ava whispered.

I nodded and held up a finger. I pointed to the little patch of forest behind us.

"Do you think she's been there all night?" Ava asked.

I shrugged. "Doubt it."

"She's kinda scary good at this game," Ava said. "Does she make a hobby of breaking into people's houses or something?"

I chuckled. "Jules is…dedicated."

"To?"

"Everything."

Ava nodded, her lips pursed. "I think I'm starting to understand that."

Will's muttering complaints quieted and Ava peeked around to see where he was headed. When she spotted him she turned around and sat back against the tombstone. She dropped her flashlight on the grass.

"He's going the other way," she said, leaning her head back and closing her eyes. "I wonder what Aubree is doing right now. She should have come."

"Is she okay?" I asked.

Ava sighed. "I don't know. She's just…I don't know. She won't talk to me. Which is bizarre."

"She and Logan haven't been…?"

"No. I like to think she would have told me if it was that," Ava said. "But, then again, maybe I'm just deluding myself so I'll feel better about it."

"Alright."

"I seem to be doing that a lot lately," she muttered.

_You are venturing into dangerous waters…_

On the other side of the graveyard, Will shouted, "Are you guys making out? Seriously?"

I twisted my neck to peek around the tombstone. Two new circles of light flicked on and started heading our way.

"They're coming," I said.

"Shh then." Ava gathered herself into a crouched position. She grabbed her flashlight and held it like a weapon.

The giggle sounded behind us again.

"I'm going to give you up," I hissed into the trees.

"Traitor," Jules hissed back. From the sound of it she was probably only twenty or so feet away. I squinted into the black, but I still couldn't find her.

I peeked around the tombstone again. The lights were scanning the rows methodically; they spread out and made slow sweeps that overlapped slightly. They wouldn't miss an inch.

"She's probably in the trees," Will said.

"Ha!" Jules scoffed.

His head snapped up and he narrowed his eyes at the forest. "I heard that."

And then he picked up to a run. He breezed past us without even a second glance in our direction. I'm sure he saw us; he just didn't care. His flashlight was aimed at the tree he had hid in the first night I'd come to play, but I knew from the giggling that she was not on that side.

Nate and Charlotte caught up to us, but they didn't have their lights on anymore. Nate leaned against my tombstone.

"Hey guys," he said.

"Um. Are we not playing anymore?" I asked.

"Well…Will is on a personal mission. We're kind of done."

Ava stood from her crouch and brushed off her pants. "Good. My wrists were starting to hurt."

"Hey Will!" Nate shouted. "I think Char and I are going to take off!"

Will waved a hand back at him. "Whatever!"

"Maybe I should go too," Ava said. "Get home before Aubree goes to bed."

And then, as she had the whole night, Jules suddenly appeared beside me. "Yeah. We've got a suit to get tomorrow."

I jumped. "Gah! Don't _do_ that."

"But it's so fun." She smiled and looked over at Will. "Should we tell him the game is over?"

Will had his light aimed upward; he was pacing the line of trees.

"Nah," Nate said. "He'll figure it out eventually."

We turned around and headed out of the graveyard to the rail stop. Will did not follow.

***

My mother was happy to loan me the use of her card to pay for my suit, yet she wouldn't actually allow _me_ to hold on to it. She handed it over to Jules to take care of for the duration of the slow torture that was shopping for formal wear. We were standing next to the front door and had been trying to walk out of it for nearly twenty minutes. Jules slipped the card into a zippered pocket in her journal-bag.

Mom's smile was sentimental. "My little boy is growing up."

I groaned. "Mom. Really." It might have been a little less embarrassing to have her say such things in front of Jules, because she had said such things in front of her all my life, but it still wasn't something I particularly appreciated.

"I know, I know," Mom said. "I'm making a fool of you." She turned to Jules. "Now make sure it fits well."

"Sure thing, Mrs. Powell."

And in a low voice that I still heard, "Send along pictures."

"I'll see what I can do," Jules replied. "C'mon kid, we're burning daylight."

"Daylight?" I replied. "Ha."

"Well, whatever it is you call it," Jules said. She opened the door and skipped out into the sprinkle.

"Later, Mom," I called from the doorway. Mom stepped forward to watch as I caught up with Jules. "You are _not_ sending her pictures of me trying on suits."

"We'll see," she replied. She put her hands in the pockets of her yellow hoodie.

"Are you still mad at me for the Aubree thing?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Not really. I gave up on that last night."

"Oh?"

"I decided you don't know anything anyway," she replied with a smile. "And you're just being Ethan."

"'Just being Ethan?'" I asked.

She nodded. "I can't deny you the thing that makes you an exceptional human being."

"Okay…"

"So I'll do what I do best and get my information elsewhere," she said. "And we'll get you all gussied up for your quasi-girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"Hence the 'quasi.'"

We reached the rail stop and she opted to stand beside the bench. It was wet. The rain picked up a little bit and she tucked her arms into her chest, holding her bag close to her side in an attempt to keep it dry.

"Why do you keep up the pretense?" she asked. "We both know where you're headed. And really…is it so bad?"

"No, I guess not," I replied. "I don't know. I just…I don't know."

"Because she's not Bella Black."

I sighed. "No. I don't carry that particular torch anymore."

"You know that is the one thing I have left on my to-do list for this weekend."

"You have a to-do list?" I asked.

"One: Resolve issues with Eepers. Two: Meet Ava. Three: Meet Aubree. Four: Call Will Yorkie annoying. Five: Play Cemetery Tag. Six: Meet Bella Black and her model boyfriend."

"Um. I don't know if that's really a list you can finish."

"We can certainly try. I'm sure I could drum up her address if you give me ten minutes and my notebook. C'mon, we have to have something to do when we get home from town. My rail doesn't leave 'til five."

I looked down the tracks for the rail. It was just cresting the hill. "Even if you do drum up her address, what are we going to do? Randomly knock on her door? Hope she's home? I don't think it's a good idea."

"You can claim to need help with homework or something…or that we're lost in the woods. Both are equally acceptable. You have a class with the girl."

"It's not going to happen, Jules."

The rail pulled up in front of us and I walked around her, hoping the transition from ground to stairs would end the topic. No such luck.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because I don't want to."

"Because you _love_ her."

"No," I said. "I can tell you with one hundred percent certainty that I do not love her."

"Then why is this such a big deal?"

I stared out the window. _Because I'm trying very hard to keep that part of the world out of my life. And yours. _"I just don't want to. Why do you care so much?"

"Because you talked her up so much, she's practically a Forks landmark in my mind."

"Well, it's not going to happen. So drop it." I kept my eyes fixed on the trees as we started to pick up speed.

"Wow," Jules replied.

"Yeah."

"Alright…" She sighed.

The rest of the ride was silent. When we stepped down to the curb, Jules nodded her head in the direction of the suit shop. It was, like most things in town, just off of Main Street. I followed her down the block, past the row of tourist shops we had visited the day before to the little brown-faced building that was just one off from the far corner. I pulled the door open and a gust of musty air breezed past me, promising used leather and freshly sanitized, well-worn jackets.

The place was a lot busier than I expected – a lot busier than any shop in Forks had a right to be. There were two guys on the right side of the store, thumbing through a rack of jackets. Another came out of a red-curtained area in the left corner; he was tugging on his pants. He walked over to his mom who sat in a chair against the wall. I did recognize one guy – Tom Bert – standing in front of three mirrors in the corner. He turned and examined the suit he was wearing, smiling at his reflection.

The man at the counter grinned at Jules and me and gave us a little wave. He looked to be in his fifties with salt and pepper hair and a mustache.

_Not that how old someone _looks_ means a whole hell of a lot in Forks._

"Welcome!" he said. "I'll be with you in just a moment." He went back to helping the woman in front of him. He unhooked a garment bag from the rack behind the counter and handed it to her. She passed it to the boy next to her – probably a freshie – and thanked the man for his time.

As the two of them left, the man motioned for us to join him. He walked around to lean against the front of the counter.

"I'm looking for a suit to rent," I said. "There's a dance…"

"Next weekend," the man replied. "Sure."

"He's a little late in the game," Jules said with a smile. "So we'd really appreciate any help you can give us, Mr.…?"

"Weber," he replied.

"Mr. Weber, then. What can you show us for young Ethan here?" Jules asked.

_Young Ethan. Ha. _

Mr. Weber smiled and motioned for me to stand on the measurement pad he had beside the counter. I stepped up on it and waited as it started running numbers down the side. When it was finished with its calculations, a row of hangers lit up with green flashing lights on a rack by the front window.

"Ah…" Mr. Weber said. "Were you looking for something modern? Or classic? We've got a purple one in stock—"

"No," Jules said with a smile. "No purple."

"Well, we've also got a gray one and a black in his size. But that's about it. It's been a busy week."

Before I could open my mouth, Jules took over again. "We'll try them both," she said.

Mr. Weber nodded and went to retrieve the suits from the other side of the store.

"_We'll_ try them? Really, Jules?" I said as I stepped down from the pad.

She waved a hand. "We both know who's in charge here. Ava's dress is blue. We should try to match you two…"

"Matching? Let's not get carried away here. She should be glad I'm wearing a tie."

Jules laughed. "Okay. No matching then."

Mr. Weber returned with two hangers in hand. "You'll have to get a shirt of your own."

Jules nodded and went to a table with different stacks of colored dress shirts. She came back with a white one.

"Try the black suit first," she said, handing it to me.

Mr. Weber motioned for me to follow him. We walked around the counter to the curtain in the corner. He pulled it aside and we walked through to a row of dressing rooms. The third one in had a green light above it. He pushed on the door and it opened to reveal a tiny cubicle with a mirror on the end. He hooked the suits up beside the mirror.

"When you're changed you can come out to the bigger mirrors out front if you like. Plus that girl of yours is bound to have an opinion or two, I bet." He chuckled and turned for the door.

"Oh, she's not my—"

But he didn't hear me. He was already gone.

I sighed and stepped into the dressing room. The door shut behind me. I stripped down and changed into the black one as Jules requested. It seemed to fit well enough, a single-breasted thing with one button and flapped pockets in front. And it didn't look too bad with the shirt that she had picked out. She had also tucked a tie into the shirt – thin, black, nondescript. I hung it around my neck.

Because I can't tie ties. Not sure what that says about me.

As I tucked the shirt in, two voices entered the hall outside the dressing room.

"Did you see that girl?" guy number one asked.

"The one with the two-toned hair? Yeah. Where did she come from? You hear anything about a move in?" guy number two replied.

"Nah, man. Nothing. She's not bad to look at, though. Wonder if she's someone's long-distance."

"You think we would have heard about that. She's not Baker's girl, is she?"

"Nah. Baker's girl is blonde. And not that hot." He laughed.

Doors opened. Doors shut. I could feel my skin going prickly.

"Well, if she's up for grabs…" guy number two said, "I'm up for some grabbing."

They laughed together in low harmony.

The suit stuff suddenly didn't seem so important anymore. I was more interested in getting finished so we could get the hell out of that place. I pushed the little "be right back" button on the side of the door and it opened for me. I walked around to the front half of the store.

Jules was waiting in a chair by the mirrors. She smiled, nodding as I walked to meet her.

"Yep," she said. "Nice. The hair could use some work but…"

"Cool. Can we go then?" I asked.

"Wait one sec," she replied. She pulled me over to stand in front of the mirrors and kneeled down in front of me. She slid a belt through the loops on my pants.

"Um. Jules?"

"It's cool," she said. "Just hold on. I want to see what it looks like."

"I can put a belt on myself," I said. I reached down to take over.

"Okay, okay," she replied, giving in. She stood up and backed away as I finished buckling it around my waist. It was black leather with a pewter rectangle buckle. "Nice. Definitely needs the belt."

"Okay. _Now _can we go?"

She reached up to her headset with a smile. "Don't you want to try on the other one?"

"Don't send that picture you're taking."

"Too late," she replied. "Now the gray."

"Why?" I asked. "This is fine. Whatever. Let's just go. I'm done being your dress up doll."

"Alright, alright. Sheesh." She stepped forward one last time to brush off the lapel. "Well, you look good kid. You sure clean up nice." She smiled.

"Um. Thanks," I replied. I stepped away from the mirrors and she went to sit back down in the little chair. "I'll just be right back."

"Okay. I'll be waiting here."

I headed back to the dressing rooms, passing the two guys I had overheard in the hall. One of them looked like someone I had in my history class; the other I didn't recognize. But they were both wearing suits now, headed out to the bigger mirror out front. Mr. Weber met them at the curtained doorway.

"You fellows look good. Need ties or anything to go with those?" Mr. Weber asked, following them out.

Their replies were muffled by the curtain as it swung closed.

_Okay. Take a breath. It's no big deal. _

I changed out of my clothes as quickly as I could manage. But, as they say, haste makes waste. I spent a lot of extra time trying to get my buttons undone and found that, in my rush to leave, my fingers didn't work as well. Truthfully, I probably took more time than I had putting the suit on. I slung the pants and coat around the hanger and slipped my jeans back on. I put my shoes on halfway, and picked up my sweater and the hanger with all the stuff I needed to take to the register. I figured I could put the sweater back on while Mr. Weber was ringing me up.

I took a calming breath and told myself that it didn't matter that the sleazeheads were out there with Jules. She could hold her own. She always had.

But I couldn't kill the nerves that were burning in my chest.

_Besides, what are they going to do really? Talk to her? Who cares? _

_ I do. _

I walked around to the front of the store and sure enough, the two of them were over at the mirror, talking to Jules. She seemed to be okay; she laughed at something one of them said. He struck a secret agent pose for her.

The other leaned over and touched her shoulder. He whispered something in her ear. She smiled.

"Nice," she said.

I walked closer and cleared my throat.

"Oh, boys," she said. "It looks like our time has run out."

"But what about going out some time?" asked the blonde sleezehead, the one who had touched her.

"Ah, sorry." She leaned against me, hooking her arm in mine. "But my heart belongs to only one man."

"Oh," the guy said. "That's cool. Sorry man. I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay," I replied, smiling. The nerves abated. All hail the conquering hero.

Jules turned and threw a wink at me. "Ready, dearest?"

"Always, darling."

***

The cool outside air had never felt so good. We wandered down the block toward the rail, arm in arm, the pose left over from the show we had put on in the suit shop. The sprinkle wouldn't let up, but the garment bag was waterproof, so it was only our poor selves getting wet. Jules didn't seem to mind, so I didn't worry over it, either. I stared at the incoming clouds just over the fringe of hills in the distance. There was a dark gray mass headed our way, sure to bring heavier weather along with it.

"Thanks for that," Jules said. "I wasn't sure how to tell them no. I mean, how could I choose between them?"

"Yeah, fine specimens," I replied. "I doubt you _could_ choose. You'd have to just keep them both."

She laughed. "Right. Both."

"I mean, they might be okay with that," I said. I feigned a turn back to the store. "We could go and ask. Get some phone numbers…"

She laughed and tugged on my arm. "Nah," she replied. "They're a little far away."

"Right." My voice lost its teasing edge. "And I hear long distance is a difficult thing."

"Right." She let go of my arm and gripped the strap of her bag. "You know what? I forgot I was going to get something for Justin. I promised a souvenir, since I can't bring you home with me. And I should find something for the twins…"

"Okay," I replied.

"Where was that little tchotchke shop I was at yesterday?"

I pointed to the place next door to the diner and she nodded. We made our way over to the storefront and I hung back as she reached for the door.

"I think I'm going to wait out here. Enjoy the rain and air."

"Okay," she said. "I'll be just a sec."

"No problem."

I leaned back under the awning of the shop and folded the garment bag over my arms. Some of Jules's words in the shop were stuck in my head, rattling in my skull.

_"My heart belongs to only one man." _

I started thinking about the day that would come when she would call to tell me she had found a guy that was worthy enough for her. I mean, it wasn't as if she hadn't ever gone out with anyone before. Of course she had. None of her dates were really serious though, just out to bowl or to a dance. It had never really bothered me. But now I had to sit there and think about the not-too-distant future when I wasn't the guy she talked to about her problems anymore. When I wasn't first on her call list or first in her line-up of friends. Because that is what romance does – it trumps friendship.

So some Polson kid would end up her number one. And I would have to sit back and watch as I slowly faded out of her life.

It made me sick.

I closed my eyes and beat the back of my head against the shop window.

No, I wasn't looking forward to that day.

And then we would go to college. Perhaps the reunion would heal things. Perhaps we would have the same classes, the same circle of friends. Certainly I would get to know the guy – whoever he was. Maybe he and I would be friends too.

But he would always be there, where I used to be. She would spend all her free time with _him. _And I would get shuffled into the background.

I didn't really like how this whole thing was shaping up.

"You trying for a concussion?" a voice said.

I opened my eyes. Emmett was standing in front of me with his arms crossed in front of his chest and a wide smile on his face. I flicked my head around to look into the shop. Jules was happily browsing the shelves, oblivious to my new guest.

"Yeah," I replied. "Why not?"

He chuckled. "What's your problem? The girl?"

"I'm just…just being a teenager."

"Ah," he replied. "Don't remember much of that." He came to stand beside me.

"That's probably for the best," I said.

"Yeah. There certainly was a lot of drama around here when Jake and Bella were in high school. But, then again, those were the most entertaining years of my long life. But, then again, I guess the drama didn't really end there…"

"Right. Right…" And then my curiously got the best of me. He was providing a good distraction and I was going to take it. "Why did he leave? I mean, he had his whole life here. His wife, his family… why would he just take off?" I asked.

Emmett's smile faded. He looked across the street to the garage.

"If it's private, if it's a family thing…never mind," I said. "Of course it is. Just ignore me. Sorry."

Emmett took a deep breath. "I don't know the specifics of it really. Bits and pieces. They weren't at the house when the fight went down. But I do know what brought it on.

"See, Nessie's always been interested in Forks. It's where she was born. It's where her parents met. So she was really the impetus for us coming back; she wanted to come home and we granted her that. Well, it was mostly because of her request, but also because Edward is a sentimental sap." He smiled.

"But the problem with this place is…it doesn't forget us. Other cities leave us behind in the pages of history as just one more family who passed through their school system and went on to another life somewhere else. But here, here we are something more.

"You met Seth. And his brothers. Right?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "They're all…they're the…"

He chuckled. "Werewolves. It's okay. You can say it aloud. It doesn't hurt."

"That's what you think," I muttered.

"Fair enough. Well, they are what they are because it is born in them. The tribe has passed on that gene for ages. Along with it, they pass along their stories of us. Of what we are. Because we are the _reason_ they become werewolves."

"How?"

He shook his head. "That's a question for Carlisle."

"Oh."

"So they know, and always have, and while things are peaceful between us, it wasn't always easy to keep that peace. We are their natural enemies. They are born to keep their people safe from only one thing – vampires."

"But Jake is…and Renesmee is…and he…"

Emmett smiled. "What can I say? Jake is a freak."

"Okay. So they know you exist. So what?"

"Well, when Nessie came into town, the first thing she wanted to do was to see all the things and places that dealt with her mom and dad. She wanted to hear the stories, so she could memorize it all over again – from a more adult point of view. And, after that…then she wanted to learn about Jake."

"Okay…"

"She wanted to meet the wolves."

"So?"

"So, Jake is nothing if not protective of her, and he didn't know these new fellows very well. They were still young, and he was not privy to their thoughts. He had some experience in his youth with just how much damage a young wolf can do. He knew firsthand how much effort it took to keep it under control, and he wasn't really sure how they felt about us. Sure, they were polite, and Seth gave him his word that they wouldn't step a single toe out of line, but still, Jake hedged."

"Wait. I thought Jake and Renesmee lived on the reservation…" I said.

"They do. The outskirts, the borderline. Just to keep out of Edward's keen hearing." I must have made a face in my puzzlement because he added, "She's Edward's daughter, remember? It's really just a good idea for Jake's health."

"Hm." And then understanding truly dawned. "Ohhh…"

"Anyway, Jake wouldn't back down on the meeting, and neither would Nessie."

"He wouldn't let her go meet them?" I asked.

Emmett laughed. "'Let' is probably a strong word. Jake doesn't always wear the pants in that relationship."

"Oh?"

"Well…she wouldn't do it if he was truly against it, and he wouldn't really forbid her anything. Couldn't really. So that made for a very long stalemate. Nessie just thought he was being overprotective, which he _was_…

"So at some point during your first day at school, they had the mother of all fights. I saw the trail of broken tree limbs that led from their house to the shed where he kept his bike. Ness said he took off northbound. We all figured he would be back in a day or two, tops. Just needed to cool off. But now it's been almost three weeks and…"

"And you're worried something happened to him."

"Yeah. Edward went to look for him once on his own. Jasper and I went along with him a second time last weekend. If he doesn't come home soon, the whole family will probably go. We're having a hell of a time figuring out _where_ to look, though. The trail gets colder every day. Not that it was very much help the first time around. We waited too long to start looking, and we've been having trouble getting help from the people we know could do the best job of it. Not to mention we're not too thrilled at the idea of them coming _here_."

He wasn't really talking to me at that point. At least, I had stopped understanding what he had to say. I opened my mouth to ask him about Jeremy, and how he fit into the whole equation, but Emmett spoke first.

"Your friend is about to come out of the shop."

"Oh, well…" How do you ask someone to leave without sounding rude? "Um. We should go and um…"

Emmett didn't move. He leaned back against the storefront. The smile was back. "Who is she?"

"My friend, Jules. I think I mentioned her once…"

"Yeah. Sure."

"She's not from around here, just up for a visit. She's actually leaving today and—"

The door opened; a bell sounded. "Okay, Eepers. We're all—" She stopped short at the sight of him. "Uh, hi."

"Hi," he said. "I'm Emmett." He reached out a hand and she took it. Her tiny fingers seemed to disappear in his grasp. I worried for half a second that he would crush her, but she was smiling as they shook hands, and it was over soon enough. No harm done.

"Jules," she said. "You were at the garage yesterday, right?"

"Sure," he replied. "I'm helping a friend there right now."

"You a friend of Ethan's? He never mentioned you…" She gave me a sideways glance.

Emmett chuckled. "We go to school together. Ethan's a good guy."

"Usually," Jules replied.

"Um. Jules," I said. "Maybe we should get home. I think there's a storm coming in."

"Yeah," Emmett said. "He's right. It's probably going to start pouring here pretty soon."

Jules looked up at the sky. "Okay. It was nice to meet you, Emmett."

"You too," he replied.

I stood up from the wall. "I'll see you around school."

"Sure thing, kiddo," Emmett replied. He put his hands in his pockets. "Thanks for listening."

"Hey, I asked, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did." He smiled and turned for the garage.

***

Jules got everything she needed from the shop – a rain globe for Justin and two stuffed wolves for the twins (which I found mildly entertaining). The purchases were tucked away into her bag, and we got to the rail about an hour earlier than I figured we would. I worried that she would bring up the trip to find Bella, or ask about Emmett, but against her character, she didn't. We rode home in near silence.

Perhaps she was just trying to soak in the scenery during her last hours in Washington.

Halfway back, the rain picked up. The dark cloud that had once loomed in the distance was now overhead and was showing us just how much clouds could do. We could see it more than hear it, as the rail was soundproof. The light outside was dim and gray. The asphalt was littered with thousands of tiny watery explosions.

As we reached our stop, Jules started to take off her hood. She wrapped it around her bag, leaving her with a thin black tee shirt that had a small pocket on the upper right. And very short sleeves.

"What are you doing?" I asked. "It's insane out there."

"I don't want to lose the journal," she replied. "The ink is water-soluble."

"You're going to get drenched."

"Fortunately for me, my skin holds up pretty well in water."

I shrugged and picked myself up off the seat. "Fortunately for you I hear pneumonia is a grand old time."

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it."

We ran as fast as we could to the house. The rain was ridiculous, and I was pretty sure the suit was the only thing that wasn't getting wet. I mean, my sweater was weatherproofed, but there was weatherproofing and there was _weather_proofing. Save for wearing plastic, there was no way I was going to stay dry in the sheeting rain that came down around us. The noise of it had us shouting.

"I see now why you whined so much!" Jules said. She was still trying to save the bag; she had it clutched to her chest as she ran.

"Right?" I replied.

We reached the porch in record time and it still didn't save us from getting completely soaked. I opened the door and shouted into the house.

"Mom?" I called. "You home?"

There was no reply.

"Aunt Madison?"

Jules ran a hand through her hair and then shook her head. A spray of water flicked onto the wall. "I think we need some towels," she said.

"Yeah," I replied. I kicked off my shoes and took a moment to hang up the garment bag on the coat hook and peel off my sweater. "I'll be right back."

Jules nodded.

I took off down the hall. When I reached the downstairs bathroom, I pulled two bath towels off the shelf next to the sink and slung the wet sweater over the bathtub edge. I flipped the lights on as I went back to meet her.

She had unwrapped her bag from the yellow hoodie. The ink was relatively intact; only a few things at the bottom were starting to run. She inspected the damage and sighed.

"It was bound to happen sometime," she said. There were little pieces of wet hair hanging in her face. Her black tee shirt was sticking to her like a second skin, and her more girlish parts were making themselves known.

_And why exactly do I care?_

"Here," I said, handing her a towel. She set the bag on the floor and took a moment to run the towel over her head. I was really hoping she would wrap it around herself, but that didn't seem to be first on her agenda.

"I need to take all the stuff out of the bag and dry it out," she said. She patted down her arms and chest. I found myself staring at the door behind her. It seemed safer. "And changing clothes might not be a bad idea either."

She took off her shoes and socks and set them beside mine.

I swallowed. "Right. Let's…do that."

_What is wrong with me?_

"Ethan?"

I had to look at her directly now. I focused my sight on her face and her face only as much as I possibly could. Her cheeks were flushed from the running. She was looking up at me, doe-eyed and innocent.

"You okay?" she asked.

"Of course," I said. "Let's go get changed."

_What is wrong with me?_

I turned around to head upstairs. Her footsteps behind me were merely a quiet padding against the wooden floor. The floorboards creaked beneath us as we walked up to my room. The rest of the house was hushed. I could hear the clock ticking downstairs and the rush of rain outside.

"I think I'm going to need a different sweater," Jules said. "Do you have something I could borrow?"

"Sure. Of course," I replied. We stepped into my room and Jules began to empty the contents of her bag onto my bed. There was her flashlight and her wallet, a pair of binoculars, a sketchbook, three markers, the bag of souvenirs she had just purchased, a scarf, some bracelets, a long necklace, an old-fashioned book with a bookmark peeking out, and a very small comb.

I walked over to the closet and opened the mirrored door. "All my stuff's in here. You can take whatever you want." I grabbed a black sweater from one of the hangers for myself and turned back around.

"Thanks," Jules replied. "I'll only be a minute."

"I'll just…wait in the hall."

"Okay."

I stepped out as she changed. I was thankful for her new choice of clothing – my sweaters were baggy enough that I wouldn't be distracted anymore. This way she could stop being a girl and start being Jules again. I changed my own damp shirt for the black sweater and went to hang it in the bathroom across the hall.

"Ethan!" Jules called.

"You done?" I asked on my way back. The door was cracked open and I could see her eyes peeking out.

"No," she replied. "I was wondering if you could hang my stuff up to dry. There's nowhere to set it down. I don't want to get your things wet."

Before I could tell her that I didn't care what happened to my stuff, she was handing me things through the very small space in the doorway. Her black t-shirt was first, followed by her jeans and her…her…

Well, it was pink. And lacey. We'll leave it at that.

"Um," I replied. "Yeah."

A very quiet part of me – that was slowly getting louder – was wondering what it would be like if I opened that bedroom door all the way. What I would see… What is wrong with me?

I shook my head and crossed back to the bathroom. I draped the clothes over the edge of the tub, wanting only to be rid of them and the thoughts that were sticking in my head.

"Okay, all done," Jules said. The door was open again and she stood there with her hands in the pockets of my faded blue Flathead Raft Company sweater. She had also decided to borrow a pair of my flannel pajama bottoms.

I smiled. "Good choice."

"Always my favorite," she said, backing into the bedroom again. She walked over to the notebook on my desk and flipped it on. "I wonder how the kids survived without me."

I went to sit on the edge of the bed as she checked her profile. I stared out the window at the tree just outside. The leaves were moving violently in the wind, and though I had broken the branch that was nearest my own window, somewhere else in the house there was a soft tapping.

"Ethan," Jules said with a little chuckle.

I turned back to her. "Hm?"

"Your sweater is on inside-out." She walked over to stand just in front of me. She traced the seam of the sweater with her finger. "You do know how to dress yourself, right?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yes." I took the sweater off, turned it right-side-out and pulled it back over my head. Jules lingered in front of me, watching. "Better?"

Her voice was soft, fitting for the smile she wore in that moment. "Yeah."

And then the proximity of her was a little…unnerving. The baggy sweatshirt and flannel pants weren't helping as much as I had hoped they would. I could smell the faint traces of her shampoo and the vanilla-flavored lip balm she liked to wear. Little things that reminded me so much of home. The shortest pieces of her hair wouldn't stay tucked behind her ears. A few strands kept falling in her eyes.

She looked down at me but didn't have to look very far. For once in our lives, she was the taller one. I tilted my head back slightly to meet her line of sight.

She took one tiny step forward. The pajama bottoms grazed my right hand. I could feel the side of her leg under the thin, fuzzy material.

The whole world seemed to quiet. The house was still; the rain was white noise. The tapping outside grew a little louder but negligible compared to the voice in my head.

_What are you doing?_

It was then that I realized my hand was acting of its own volition. It reached up to her hip so slowly I would have thought it wasn't moving at all save for that moment of contact. My thumb found its way under the edge of the sweater, and traced the tiny bit of skin just at the peak of her hipbone.

Probably a place I had touched a million times growing up. But it had never felt like this.

_This is Jules we're talking about. _

_Jules!_

_ This needs to stop. _

But she wasn't backing away. In fact, she leaned toward me. Her left hand brushed back the hair on my forehead.

_You could ruin everything._

_Everything. _

_Everything. _

Her eyes closed.

So did mine.

_Forget slow destruction caused by other guys. The end begins here. Now. _

But I didn't have the strength to stop it even if I wanted to.

And I didn't really want to. She needs to stop this. Why isn't she stopping this?

I could feel her take in a sharp breath in anticipation. Her mouth was only inches away from mine. My heart was running at a frantic pace, and I wasn't sure exactly if it was terror or something else…

And then the rapping outside turned to a pounding. A noise that didn't belong.

We both flinched at the sound. She took a few steps backward, eyes suddenly wide, face bright red. She looked down at the carpet. "I think that's your front door."

_Damn it. _

_And also – phew. _

_Right?_

"Jules…" I said.

"The door, Ethan. Someone's out there and it's pouring. For all you know it's your mother and there's something wrong with the lock."

I took a deep breath. "Right. Okay. I'll be right back. Don't move. Please."

She nodded.

_Of all the times for a visitor. _

Whoever it was, he was going to get a good dose of anger on my behalf, despite saving me from utterly destroying my life. I should have been happy it happened the way it did. It was most certainly a sign that I was being stupid (which I knew). The universe was just reminding me of my place in the world, how things were _supposed_ to be. And I should have been thankful for it.

But I was livid.

I swallowed my mood and went to answer the door. Jules was right; it could have been my mother, or my aunt, and if they saw me like that they would question me. And I would have to stammer answers as to why exactly I had shouted at them or run away to my room so quickly. So I took a deep breath before I opened the door.

But it was neither my aunt nor my mother.

There on the stoop, shivering and drenched, with hair plastered to the sides of her face, was Aubree Parson.

"Ethan," she said. "You have to help me."

* * *

**GAHHHHH!!! I know, I know, I'm evil. SO SORRY!**

**GN update to come later in the week. Should answer most of the questions you are about to ask in reviews.**

**Please tell me if you liked it. Or if you hated it, I'll accept that too. I just have to know what you thought. Because this one was very hard to write, not to mention post.**


	19. Chapter 19

**a/n: ZOMG. I did it. I am ten kinds of amazed this happened. I won't list the kinds separately. Maybe you can figure them out.**

**We all must thank for this: AZBella for betaing. As well as our dearest Lindsey, who I also sent it to because I was afraid AZBella wouldn't get it in time. Heh. Thanks ladies. Your comments were wonderful and very, very helpful.**

**Huge thanks to the wonderful ladies of Project Team Beta for being cool and helping with my second draft. They're awesome. **

**Thanks to all y'all who reviewed last time. They were epic. I can't even tell you how wonderful it was after posting 18 and being so afraid to do so. So thank you all.**

**Thanks to my t20s Tapioca Crew. ILU. You are amazing. Keep on keeping on.**

**Thanks to the FB fan group for playing along. I've got a game for you guys. A couple people have asked why Jules calls him Eepers, where the nickname came from. I want to see if you can figure it out. It is figure-out-able. It's there. First to figure it out gets chapter 20 dedicated to them. Send the answer to Ethan via a pm on FB. Kay?**

**I'm rambling. You want answers. There are some to be found here.**

**Today I am Team…golly that's difficult. Who do I root for in this crazy lot?**

**I guess…Team Drama Guy**

**Beware of Cliffie!

* * *

**

Chapter 19

I stood there staring at Aubree for a couple seconds. My first thought was that somehow she had seen Jules and me, and she was there to act vengeance upon me. My anger turned to guilt in seconds flat.

_Dear God. Ava._

I was a horrible, horrible person. I didn't deserve to live.

"Ethan?" she prompted. It took me a moment before I realized she was still on my front stoop, shivering.

I shook my head. "God. Come in. You must be freezing."

"Thanks," she replied. She stepped across the threshold with her arms wrapped around herself. I walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a dishtowel that hung on the handle of the refrigerator.

"Here," I said as I handed it to her. "I can get you a bigger one if you just—"

"That's okay, Ethan. I don't want to spend a lot of time here. I just…" She wrung out her hair with the towel and looked over to the kitchen table. "Can we sit down?"

"Um. Okay."

And then the awkwardness of the situation began to settle in me. I crossed to the table and took a seat, as did she. Here was Aubree Parson, probably the last person I would ever expect to be sitting in my kitchen, while Jules was upstairs in my room waiting for me to return to a conversation that would be unbelievably more awkward than the one I was already having.

I could picture her sitting on the edge of my bed, in my sweater and pajama pants, tracing the pattern of the seams on my comforter. I had no idea what I was going to say when I walked back up that staircase. What could I open with? "Um. Hey, Jules. Sorry for trying to kiss you. We're still friends, right?" Right. Maybe she would just let it be forgotten. Maybe we could—

"Ethan?" Aubree said. "You in there?"

_Oh. Right. Aubree. _

I took a breath. "Sorry. You said you needed help with something?"

_"Yes. Help me kill you…"_

"Yes," she said. "How do I explain this right?" She looked down at her arm and dabbed it with the dishrag, trying to pull as much water out of the sweater as she could. It was too thin for the rain outside. No hood. Very un-Forksy of her. "Um. Hmm…"

She didn't have a speck of wrath in her eyes. I waited as patiently as I could and tried to send silent messages to Jules – _Don't come down here. Please don't come down here… _

"I have this…friend…" Aubree said. "Named Seth." Her eyes flicked up to mine.

_Seth? As in…_

_ No. Couldn't be. _

"Oh?" I said.

"Yeah. He was…well he helped me out once. Saved my life, really. You've probably heard the story by now."

_Okay. Hold everything. _

_ Seth is Aubree's drama guy? _

I had figured it for Logan, but no one had really ever confirmed my theory, and I didn't want to pry. Not to mention I wasn't looking for any other ways to tangle myself with the mythical population of Washington.

"Yeah, I heard," I said.

She nodded, a little flush adding to her already red cheeks. "So I went to talk to him today, about…well it doesn't matter what I was there to talk to him about. I just went to talk to him. Only he wasn't there."

"So?"

_Jules. Don't move. I'll be up in a minute._

Aubree sighed. "Well…I don't know if you met his friend, Logan? The one that was at the garage yesterday?"

"Sure. I met him at the bonfire," I replied.

"Well, Logan was there when I got down to the reservation, as well as some of the other guys who live down there. They said Seth was…gone."

She continued, no longer looking at me, talking a little faster. "Only they wouldn't say where he went or when he would be back. They just told me to go home and to forget about it. That they would take care of things. Whatever that's supposed to mean…

"The thing is…I can't help but think his absence has something to do with me. I—well I said something that wasn't too nice the last time I saw him. And I'm afraid he left because of it. Though it's kind of ridiculous to think I had that kind of effect on him.

"But they won't say a word. They won't let me help. They won't let me do _anything_…"

"And I'm your first thought to help with this because…?"

"Because you're friends with Bella Black."

_Dear God, no. _

"I think 'friends' is a strong word—" I said.

She waved a hand. "Doesn't matter. You're friendly with her, and I heard that Edward talked to you too. Here's the thing – I know Seth is friends with the Cullens. And Edward is the only person he has ever mentioned to me. I'm hoping they'll help me. I'm hoping maybe they know _something. _I can't imagine Seth would leave and not tell someone where he went and why, and I'm hoping Edward might be that someone."

_Two more minutes, Jules. I swear. _

"So what do you want _me_ to do exactly?" I asked.

Aubree took a breath. "I want you to take me to Bella Black's house and convince her to get Edward to come over and talk to me."

_Not. Going. To. Happen. _

"I don't know, Aubree," I said. "I'm not too sure that's a good idea. I mean, sure, Bella and I are in the same class and all, but I wouldn't really call us _friends_. And it's not like I—"

"Ethan," she said. "I understood you the first time you said that. But…please? Please help me with this. I have to make this right. I owe him."

There was just no way I was going to escort her down to see the Cullens. I didn't care how much she thought she needed to help. She could do that another day. Without me.

Because Jules was waiting upstairs. Her rail was due to leave in a couple of hours.

And if Seth wanted to up and leave, that was his business. I'm sure Bella wouldn't particularly appreciate the intrusion into their lives. They had enough problems with Jake missing and…

_Oh. _

_Oh no. _

This was starting to sound a little familiar.

"Did they say _when_ he left?" I asked.

She shook her head. "They didn't say much at all. Just…"

I waited for the rest of the sentence, but it didn't come.

"Yeah?" I urged.

"Just stuff. He was gone. Not sure when he would be back."

Her vagueness was not very helpful. "Did they actually say he _left_? Or just that he was gone?"

"'Gone' is the word they used. Why? What's the difference?"

I didn't answer her. I was too busy trying to think it all through.

_Jake is gone. Seth is gone. And…and…_

_Jeremy didn't show up at the diner. _

_Jeremy is gone. _

Surely the rest of Seth's werewolf friends were helping the Cullens sort it all out. They were probably all down there now, talking it over, trying to figure out what was going on, why they would have so many disappearances. They would get to the bottom of it at some point. They didn't need my help. I didn't have any help to offer, really. I had a sopping wet girl who looked like she had been crying a lot, but that was in no way helpful.

And who was to say that Seth had _really_ disappeared as Jake had. I mean…they wouldn't tell Aubree anything. Maybe he knew where Jake was. Maybe he was bringing Jake back. There was no way they would tell her about that. They would keep their secrets.

But why would they use the word "gone"?

And none of them ever mentioned Jeremy. It was like they didn't know he even existed. Or maybe they were hiding him from me. I realized that I probably should have at least mentioned him in passing at some point. Maybe he was important to what had happened. Maybe he was involved somehow…

"Ethan?" Aubree said. "So will you help me?"

I was too lost in my head to answer.

New problems: One – How to leave without bringing Aubree along with me. Because I knew I had to go. Now that I realized that all this time I had a tiny bit of information that could help, and I had managed to unintentionally keep them in the dark for so long, well…I couldn't _not _go. Especially now that Seth was missing too.

Two – How to leave Jules at home. Alone. Because she would want to come, and I very much didn't want her tagging along, either. But she only had two hours before her rail. Couldn't it wait?

I didn't want to go.

What I wouldn't have given for their damn phone number right about then.

"Ethan. The silence is killing me," Aubree said.

"Sorry…I just…" Time to try the impossible. "I think you should go home and not worry about all this."

Her eyes went wide. "How can you say that? If him leaving had _anything_ to do with me…I'd just…I'd be…" She was shaking her head, trembling a little bit.

"Whoa, calm down. I'm sure it will—"

"No," she said. "You don't understand. I cannot be the person responsible for this and still go on with my life. If you _don't _take me down there to talk to Edward, I'll just figure out how to get there by myself. I'm sure someone else knows where they live. Hell, I could ask my dad and—"

_Dear God. Could we involve any more inappropriate people in this mess?_

I sighed. "Fine. I'll take you. Please don't make any of this worse by telling anyone. You didn't say anything to Ava about this, did you? Because that would just be…gah…"

"No," she replied. "For the first time in our lives, we are not speaking to each other."

"Oh," I replied. "I'm…sorry."

"Don't be. It had to happen. Sadly." She stood up from her chair. "Alright. Let's go."

Timing is an interesting thing. It was during those last three words that Jules decided to walk downstairs. I didn't hear her approach; she was still barefoot and the rain outside was still very loud, but I heard her enter the short hallway in front of the kitchen. Because she spoke.

"Ethan? Where are you going?"

I closed my eyes and ran a string of expletives through my head. "Just give me a minute, okay, Aubree?"

Aubree's eyes narrowed, but she only said, "Fine."

I braced myself as I turned around. These were going to be some of the most difficult minutes I have ever lived through.

When my eyes met Jules's, a piece of my resolve wavered. She stood in the wide doorway, still in my blue-gray sweater and the damned pajama pants. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyebrows turned up in an expression somewhere between puzzlement and pain. This was not the Jules I had grown up with. This was not the daring girl who cared little for what people thought about her. This girl looked…breakable.

And I was about to break her.

It was worse than when I thought I was going to die. I had survived that. Numerous times.

I wasn't sure what this would do to me. To either of us.

And as an added, extra-special bonus, it all got to happen in front of Aubree Parson.

Delightful.

I took two steps closer to her, leaving an appropriate amount of space between us. Friendly space. "I have to go…take care of something."

Her face relaxed into a little smile. "Okay. Well, just give me two seconds and I can change and we—"

"No," I said. She flinched slightly at my abrupt tone. And then came the words that would surely destroy me. "You can't come."

"Oh," she said, astonished. This was beyond her scope of understanding, and rightfully so. "Why? What's going on?"

"I…I can't really talk about it."

"Oh really?" Jules said. She laughed, dry and sarcastic. "That's…great. Good for you, kid."

The walls were going up.

"I'm so sorry, Jules. I just—"

"It's fine. Really. Go have your fun. Enjoy Forks. Enjoy Aubree, Ava, the lot of 'em. I'll get changed and find my way to the rail station."

"Jules, please…" I took another step forward, friendly pretenses be damned. I no longer cared that Aubree was watching. I reached for Jules's hand.

She pulled it away before I could get purchase. "Don't. You. Dare."

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Whatever," she replied, and turned for the stairs. She was gone before I could say another word. The space she left behind became a vacuum. The air seemed thinner, harder to breathe.

_I should go after her. I should tell her everything. Who cares about keeping secrets when all they do is ruin your life? _

But we all know I didn't do that.

After the moment of stillness, Aubree said, "Ethan, I'm sorry that I—"

"Don't," I said. "Let's just go."

From my periphery, I could see her standing up. She left the dishtowel on the table. "Okay."

The quiet weighed on me as we walked to the door. Our footsteps echoed back down the hallway to the darker parts of the house. I wondered if Jules could hear me leaving.

"I know this isn't easy for you, Ethan," Aubree said as she pulled the door open. "So…thank you."

I didn't respond and she seemed to understand why. She nodded and walked out into the pouring weather. I watched her take the front steps two at a time down to our walkway. She was jogging as soon as her feet hit the pavement.

I followed Aubree's path, closing the door behind me. I walked down the stairs, pausing a moment to look back up at the house. My bedroom light was on.

_Bye, Jules. I hope you forgive me someday._

***

The first fifteen minutes of the ride were silent. The rail was on its southbound lap, which meant we had a ways to go before we circled around to the higher-numbered stops. I realized it was the first time I had ever sat next to Aubree Parson. It wasn't weird, though. She had the seat next to the window, and she stared out at the view as the houses and forest rushed past us. Her hands were tucked into her lap and I couldn't see much of her face. If I let my mind drift far enough, it was easy to just pretend she was Ava.

Not that I wished she were. Ava's just easier to sit next to.

But in those moments when my mind was drifting and I imagined I was sitting next to Ava, I was thinking about Jules. If she had been mad about my choice to stay in Forks with my mom, there was no way she would let this drop. And if I had been unwilling to lose her before, somehow, incredibly, it was worse to contemplate now.

Why? Because I had tried to kiss her? Because I had acknowledged the fact that she was a girl? Or was it something else completely?

But I knew. Deep down, I knew why. Getting there was hard, though.

It was because—

The mechanical rail voice came over the speakers, "Next stop: thirty-three – the Quileute reservation border."

Aubree shifted in her seat. "I guess that's us, eh?"

"Um. Not quite," I said.

"Is Bella's house further down the line?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No. It's not that… It's – well – she won't _be _at her house. It's kind of pointless to try her there."

"Ethan," Aubree said. Her head tilted downward. "If you're trying to steer me away from doing this, you should just tell me now. Like I said before, I can just get someone else to—"

"Stop it," I snapped. "I'm not trying to mislead you. She won't be at Jake's house. She'll be at the Cullens' house."

"Oh," Aubree said. "Okay." She settled back into her seat.

The rail stopped at thirty-three. A couple of Quileute kids exited, as well as an elderly woman. It didn't take long after they stepped to the ground before the rail was off again, breezing to the next stop.

And it didn't take long before I was back on the mental topic of Jules.

I wondered what she was doing. Probably packing her bags, or on her way down to wait for the rail. We would be long gone before it came for her. I could picture her on that rail bench, hollow-eyed, lips pursed into her resolved face. She would have left my sweater behind and changed into her own clothes. The yellow hoodie was certainly a must for the rain. She was probably getting too wet again. Catching a cold. Because of me.

She would be clutching the journal-bag against her. She might even have it tucked under the sweater to protect it.

Or perhaps she was letting the rain wash the words away. Because my name popped up on it too many times to count.

Or maybe I was just full of myself.

Aubree broke my train of thought. "You seem to know a lot about Bella."

"Are we really going to talk about this? You came to me for help, remember?" My voice was not very nice.

"I know. I'm not judging. I'm just…surprised. I think you've been holding out on us a little."

"Yeah. Well. Like you said. We're friends."

"And have you been to the Cullen's house before?" she asked, one eyebrow cocked.

"Once," I said.

"Hm…"

The rail voice spoke again. "Next stop: thirty-two. First Beach."

Aubree started at the announcement and then sighed.

"You seem to know a lot about Seth," I said.

She glared at first, with squinting eyes that seemed to say "don't you dare go there." And then she softened. The stare turned absent, her eyes grew a little watery. "Yes. I suppose I do."

"Have you been holding out on us a little?" I asked gently.

"Most definitely," she replied. "But you knew something was going on. Everyone did. The thing with Logan at the garage yesterday…"

"Are you dating him?" I asked.

"Who? Logan?" She shook her head. "Of course not."

"What about Seth?"

"Am I dating _Seth_?" She gave a short, humorless laugh. "Yeah. Right."

The familiarity with which she spoke his name seemed bizarre. He didn't seem the type of guy who just up and made friends with random high school girls. Even if he had saved her from drowning, why would he allow their relationship to continue? From what I understood, secrecy seemed to be a key part of their lives. And having Aubree around didn't seem like the best idea if they were turning into wolves all the time. I wondered how often she visited him. I wondered what she knew about them.

She didn't know he was a…

No. No way.

Impossible.

"What was all that with Logan? What did he want to talk about?" I asked.

She wiped her eye with her hand and sighed again. "He was mad at me for what I said to Seth last time I was up there."

"What did you say?" I asked.

"This I cannot tell you."

I felt brave. Maybe it was the defeatist inside me who didn't care what happened now that Jules was gone. "Why? Are you keeping secrets for him? Big mythical secrets?" I laughed.

Her eyes went wide for the shortest second. Her mouth opened and abruptly shut again. Her face turned a bright red she couldn't hide.

"Ha ha," she said. "Very funny."

But it was too late. Her color, her words, her brief expression– they all gave her away.

She _knew._

Right?

She had to.

Right?

I was stuttering, even though I wasn't the one who had just revealed herself. "How long have you – um – known Seth? I mean…did you meet at the – um – in January…"

She was still red. "We should talk about something else."

"No," I said. "Wait. Aubree. I have to know something. You have to answer a question for me."

She looked down at her lap. "I can't make any promises."

_How do I phrase this?_ "Do you…know?"

Brilliant. Very clear.

She didn't reply.

"I mean…you know Seth. You know Logan. And I'm guessing you've met the other guys down there. Do you…"

There was just _no _way to finish that question properly, with no real answers revealed if she had no idea what I was talking about, but enough information that she would understand if she did.

"Do I…?" she asked in a low voice. "What, Ethan?"

I sighed. "Nothing. Never mind."

"Okay." She turned back to the window.

But oh my God, it was annoying. I wanted so badly for her to know. I'm not sure why. I mean, it was Aubree of all people. But it would have been nice to be able to talk about it with someone. Someone who wasn't hundreds of years old. Someone who could appreciate the complete insanity that had wrapped itself around my life. I just wanted to _vent_.

We circled around the southwest bend. We were heading up the coast again, and I could see the dull gray of the ocean through the windows across the aisle. The rain was letting up a little bit, no longer the thick sheets that made it hard to see outside, but a thin pattering. I was thankful for this. If only for Jules's sake.

I looked up at the clock at the front of the rail. It was hard to believe that only thirty minutes had passed since our moment in my room. It seemed like so long ago. I closed my eyes, and I could feel again her skin under the tip of my thumb. I could feel the electric buzz that had taken the place of rational thought. How soft her hand had felt on my forehead as her fingers brushed my hair out of my eyes. The moment I was anticipating, that I would never feel again…

"Ethan?" Aubree said. "You okay?"

She sure had a knack for interruption. If only it was a valuable skill, she could make billions.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You look like you're a little railsick."

"I'm not," I said.

"Okay…"

_Just leave me be. Let me relive the moment. Can't I just live there for the time being? _

I leaned my head back against the seat. I closed my eyes and the scene picked up again in my head.

"_Your sweater is on inside-out. You do know how to dress yourself, right?" _

_ "Yes."_ The sweater-switching had been a tad awkward. And maybe would have been worse had I known what was to come. _"Better?"_

God. The smile. The little sweet smile. _"Yeah."_

"Um, Ethan?" Aubree said.

My eyes snapped open. "What?"

"Sorry. I just…"

"What, Aubree?"

Her face was red again. "Do you…do you…know?"

It was my own question thrown back at me. And she looked just as flustered as I had been.

"Do I know what?" I asked.

She swallowed. "Nothing. It's stupid."

There was a moment of silence between us, where we both studied the other's face, looking for the answers. Neither wanted to be the one to break first. Neither wanted to betray anything.

I chuckled, the defeatist making another appearance. "You don't know. You couldn't."

"I know some things," she replied. "I'm not sure we're talking about the same thing, though. I don't see how we could be."

"Because it's too bizarre?" I asked.

"It's ludicrous." She nodded. "Because it's too…unbelievable?"

I nodded. "Unreal. Impossible."

Her voice fell to a whisper. "And when they told you, you thought they were all crazy?"

"I thought _I _was crazy," I said, also hushing. "But I saw it. With my own eyes. I saw her, him, them…I saw them…"

"Seth? Did you see Seth turn into a…?"

"No," I replied. "Never Seth. I just met him at the Cullens' house."

"Oh," Aubree replied. "But you knew about…"

I nodded. "Him. And Logan. And Trip. And Jonah. And Jake…"

"Jake?" Aubree said. "Bella's brother? Does that mean she's a…?"

If she wasn't going to use the word, neither would I. "No. She's the other kind."

Aubree's brow puckered. "Other ones?"

"Never mind." I had said too much. "We shouldn't be talking about this."

"Please. Talk to me about this. I don't think I can keep it in anymore. I need someone to tell me I'm not going crazy. And that I'm still safe at home. And that they're not going to come for me."

"Aubree, they're not going to hurt you. They're not _bad._"

"But they're…I mean how can they be _good_?"

"They just are. Some things in this world have yet to be discovered. I think they prefer it that way. I can't imagine it would be very helpful for people to know about them. I can't imagine people would understand. I mean, do you?"

"Oh," she said. "Yeah. I guess…I guess you're right. He told me that I could leave and he would understand. He would leave me alone."

I nodded. "So you have two choices then. You can get off the rail at the next stop and forget about all of this. Walk away. It never happened. You were never here. Go on with your life and let it fade away as a bad dream should.

"Or you can stay on. You can come with me and we can try to see if we're at all helpful to them. But you have to accept it. You have to be okay with it. Because I learned the hard way that if you let it, it will overwhelm you. And it's not a pretty picture. Believe me."

She nodded, staring at the seat cushion. "Yeah. Okay."

The rail voice came over the speakers. "Next stop: twelve. Olympic National Park."

The machine slowed to a stop. The doors opened. Near the front, a man and his son picked up fishing poles and headed down the stairs. A few seconds passed and the doors closed, and then the rail was off again, gaining speed with every second.

Aubree let out a long breath.

"Welcome to Forks," I said. "I hope you fare better than I."

***

When we pulled up to stop ninety-seven, we were the only ones left aboard. The announcement sounded over the speakers and I nudged Aubree.

"This is us," I said.

"Really?" she asked. "How can anyone live out here?" She looked out the window. "There's nothing here."

"Are you really surprised?" I asked. "C'mon. Let's go."

She stood up, despite her disbelief, and followed me down the aisle. "Is it okay if I'm scared?" she asked.

"Of course. I'm scared daily. Sometimes hourly," I replied. "They would understand that."

"And how exactly do the Cullens fit in with all this?" she asked. "I mean if Bella's not…a…"

"You can say it aloud. It doesn't hurt."

"Werewolf," she whispered, and waited for some kind of reaction from me. When I didn't remark on it, she continued, "Right. If she's not, then what is she? Why are they involved?"

"This is not a question you get to ask me," I replied. "I won't betray their confidence."

"I'll just ask Seth…"

"Go ahead. If you find him. If he'll tell you…"

She sighed as we stepped off the rail. "This is all so… I mean I've lived here all my life and I've never suspected anything like this was possible."

"I lived here for a week before I realized something was wrong. I guess it takes an outsider's eyes." I looked down the road, searching for a break in the trees that I knew had to be there. "I know it's this way, but it's kind of hard to find –"

I was cut off by the sound of squealing tires against the wet pavement. About fifty feet in front of us, the Cullens' black sedan was peeling out of an unseen side road. It turned sharply and the engine revved. It was headed our way. Quickly.

"Ethan! Watch out!" Aubree shouted. She pulled on my arm, trying to get me out of the way of the oncoming car.

But I knew better.

The car breezed by and then flipped a severe u-turn. Its approach was a slower now, and it came to a stop just in front of us. The driver's window rolled down.

"Get in," the driver said. It was Emmett.

I nodded and started around for the passenger side of the car. The door was already open and waiting when I got there. Aubree was on my heels, but she said nothing. I urged her to take the back seat.

"Alice told you?" I asked as I sat down. I looked back at Aubree for a second. She was struggling to put on her seatbelt.

He smiled briefly. "She said she saw you two walking towards a severe case of pneumonia."

"Yes, well…"

"I'm not sure this is the best time for a visit, Ethan," he said. He glanced back at Aubree through the rearview mirror. "And she doesn't help things."

"I'm sorry, it's just…she _knows," _I whispered.

"I know," Emmett replied. He looked over his shoulder. "Hey there, don't think we've met really. I'm Emmett."

Aubree nodded, wide-eyed. "I'm Aubree. Um…I think we're in history together."

"Sure. I remember. And Seth has talked a lot about you."

"He…talks about me?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied. "Now hold on. I'm told I drive a little fast."

And he slammed down on the accelerator. Our backs were pressed against the seats. He laughed as he turned for the break in the trees and we sped down the tiny dirt road to the Cullens' house.

"Then again, maybe Edward's wrong," Emmett said. "Maybe it's a good idea to let you guys come here…"

The house appeared as we hit the end of the driveway – large, white, frightening. The lights inside were all on, and I could see the silhouettes of more than just the Cullens in the window. Aubree was quiet as we pulled up to the front stair. Emmett hit the brakes, and the sudden stop sent me forward.

"Maybe you can help us," Emmett said.

And with that he turned off the car. The doors opened again.

Emmett sighed. "God knows we need it."

* * *

**Well? What did you think?**


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n: This chapter was like pulling teeth. I swear it.**

**Anyways…**

**Thanks to AZBella for betaing for me. I'd make a heart for you, m'dear, but FF won't allow it.**

**Thanks to the wonderful wonders of Project Team Beta who make my second draft so much better than my first. :)**

**Thank you to the Tapioca Crew at t20s for being amazing and wonderful beyond words.**

**Thank you to the FB group for…as the Monkeys say…existing.**

**Which leads me to my dedication. Chapter 20 is dedicated to the lovely JiminyCricket005 - the winner of my little game. She guessed correctly that Ethan's nickname comes from his initials. Ethan Eli Powell = EEP. So congrats, girl! :D**

**And on with the show. Today I am…**

**(and I never ever thought I would ever say this ever)**

…**Team Renesmee.

* * *

**

Chapter 20

I was a man on a mission.

It didn't have to be a long visit. Sure, I had abandoned Jules to sit on the rail stop bench, in the rain. She was probably puzzling over what exactly was so important that I had to leave just then - what exactly would be something I couldn't tell her, of all people. But that didn't mean I had to dally. Maybe it would be a quick exchange. Maybe I could even make it back into town before the interstate rail took her home.

_Maybe I can go back with her._

Daydreams flitted by as I followed Emmett up the stairs to the big white door. In my mind I could see myself catch up to her as she sat in the cold. I would offer her my sweater, even if it left me shirtless. The rail didn't care if I was half naked – and I hoped she didn't either.

We would make up. We would talk our way back to Polson. We would spend the evening at her house. Beebu and the twins were probably still out of town…

"You comin', man?" Emmett asked. He was holding the door open for us.

I shook my head, as if it would send the daydreams scattering onto the porch steps. "Um. Yeah. Right."

Aubree walked just behind me, silent as a shadow, with wide eyes and a colorless complexion. Her hair was still a little wet and she probably could have used a hairbrush, but I certainly wasn't in the running for best groomed either, so I didn't mention it.

No one seemed to notice our entrance into the house.

I take that back. These are _vampires_ we're talking about. Of course they knew we were there. I'm sure they heard us coming the moment we stepped off the rail. They just didn't seem to care.

They were spread around the living room, locked in some conversation that I didn't feel comfortable joining. Bella and Renesmee sat on the sofa facing away from us, with Edward standing just to the side. Across from them, on the chair, Rosalie was sitting with her legs crossed. The blonde color of her hair was the exact same shade as the streaks in Jules's.

_Man on a mission. Man on a mission._

_Get. It. Done._

We hovered at the entrance, listening, as Emmett went to join them.

"The timing of it just doesn't make any sense," Bella said, shaking her head.

Edward looked over at Logan, who was sitting on the smaller sofa next to Alice. "Did he say anything that would make you think he had planned this?" Edward asked.

"No. Nothing like that. Like I said, he was going to check on her…but I swear he wasn't even thinking about leaving. Well, not really…"

At the head of the table, a tall man with blonde hair and a woman with golden-brown curls stood watching over the group. The man held one finger up.

_The infamous Dr. Cullen, I presume?_

"Wait. Now we must be very clear on this, Logan," he said. "Can you remember exactly what he was thinking? See what you can remember up until you left…"

Logan closed his eyes. "Um. Something on the order of how I screwed things up for him. Which I resented, of course. And then something like, 'What part of "don't talk about werewolves" do you not understand?'"

Jonah piped in. He and Trip were standing apart from the group, huddled in the far corner. "He also said something about trying to leave her alone. And then something about leaving him alone. 'Get out of my head!' I think. And that's what turned us back."

Logan was nodding. He opened his eyes. "We didn't hear past that because we were all hitching rides home from the reaches. Naked, I might add."

"We walked," Trip said. "Wasn't so bad."

"But do you really think he meant it?" Rosalie asked. "That he was leaving?"

"I don't know." Logan sighed. "I just…I don't know."

"What are they talking about?" Aubree whispered.

Logan's head turned our way; he narrowed his eyes. At first I thought the expression was meant for me, and I wasn't entirely sure how I had made him angry, but then he said, "What is _she_ doing here?"

Aubree reached up for the edge of my sweater. Her hand made a fist around the fabric.

Logan rose from the couch. Alice looked at Jasper.

"I just wanted to help," Aubree said.

"Help. Right." Jonah scoffed.

I found myself shuffling over a bit, to cover her from the rest of the room. But she was having none of that.

_Careful, Aubree._

"Listen, I'm sorry," Aubree said, taking a few tentative steps forward. Her hand fell from my sweater as she came to stand just in front of me. "I just…I want to fix things."

"This is your fault," Logan said. "If it wasn't for you, he would have stayed. He wouldn't have gone off to God knows where for God knows how long."

"Don't you think I know that?" Aubree asked. She sighed as Logan, Trip and Jonah stared in wait. Heck, the whole room was staring at her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… I wish I could just take it back and do it better. I should have…" Her voice broke. She took a moment to swallow and regain her composure. "Please, Logan. Help me fix this."

From the corner, Jonah gave a quiet, humorless laugh. "This isn't really something you can help with," he snapped. "Damn prejudice."

Logan's head whipped around to face him. "Shut up, Jonah. You're really one to talk."

Jonah's mouth fell open. "You can't mean to tell me that—"

"I said SHUT UP!" Logan shouted.

And then the awkward quiet took over. The wolves stared Aubree down until she looked away.

The doctor's wife took the initiative to come greet us. She walked slowly, human-paced, and I wasn't sure if it was to keep up the charade or if it was just to help Aubree feel more comfortable. She stopped only a couple feet from the entryway.

"Aubree, right?" she asked.

Aubree nodded. The tip of her nose was a little pink and her eyes were starting to tear up.

"And Ethan, it's nice to finally meet you," she said. "I'm Esme."

I found myself feeling the urge to bow, but I managed to stifle it and settled with a polite nod. "Nice to meet you, too."

She looked back at Aubree again. "I want to make sure you know that you are welcome here with us, but we fear that it's not really safe for you. We don't think you _couldn't_ help. It's more a matter of respecting Seth's wishes at this point. We're not sure he would want you involved in all of this. Do you understand?"

"No…" Aubree said in a cracking voice. "I mean, what does it matter? Why does he even care?"

All the staring eyes turned away. Off in the corner, Jonah mumbled, "Good question."

"Seth doesn't want you to get hurt, that's all," Esme said. She took a slow step forward. "And I think he just wants to make sure you don't have to face anything you're not ready for."

"Ready or not, it's here," Aubree replied. "And I don't care what his wishes might or might not be. I have to do something. He saved my life. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. I can't just return the favor by making him abandon his life here. If it's my fault, I want to talk to him. I want to explain to him that I never meant I wanted him gone…" Her gaze fell to the floor. A tear ran down her face and splashed on the clean Newwood. It vanished before it could even make a mark. "I never wanted him gone," she said again.

Esme nodded. "Alright then. Why don't you come have a seat?"

Alice nudged Logan to relinquish his spot on the couch. He got up with a groan and a roll of the eye.

"Um…" I said. "Right. C'mon, Aubree."

She wiped her face and took a deep breath. I let her take the first steps forward into the room before I followed behind her. No one stared, but no one made any comforting conversation, either. The silence was enough to know they were all paying attention to us as we walked around the sofa. She took Logan's spot, sitting as far against the armrest as she could. Her knees were pressed together and she tucked her hands into her lap.

I settled for standing beside her. It seemed like the thing to do.

"It'll be okay," Alice said. She patted Aubree's shoulder. "Try not to worry about it too much."

"Do you know this for sure, Alice?" I asked.

Her hand came down. "No. But I have hope. Sometimes even we have to rely on that."

"Where were we?" Dr. Cullen asked. "Logan, when you got home, how long was it before you realized he was gone?"

"Not too long before we came over here. I mean, we all went home after he told us to leave him alone. Went to bed. This morning we went down there to check in around…noon, I'd say. But he wasn't home. We didn't think anything of it, actually. Figured he was over at—"

"Right," Edward said. "And the note?"

"Trip found it. Half tucked under the door. Maybe it fell."

_Note?_

_Weird._

"Aubree," Dr. Cullen said. "Did Seth come by your house at all? Did you talk to him last night or this morning?"

Aubree shook her head and tried to look him in the eye as she spoke. But I know it's not that easy to be the center of attention in that particular group. "No," she said. "I didn't see him at all. I didn't even know he was leaving. I didn't know anything until I went over there this afternoon."

"And he hasn't mentioned anything about Jacob recently?" Dr. Cullen asked Logan.

"No more than our usual conversation. Errant thoughts. Nothing like he knew where he went. Nothing like he was going after him."

"I still don't think it has anything to do with Jake," Jonah muttered.

Dr. Cullen ignored the comment. "So we know he was here last night until…?"

"Nine-ish," Logan said.

"Alright. Nine. So sometime between 9:00 last night and noon today, he left. Was there a trail?"

Logan shook his head. "We checked that first. The damn storm has washed it all away."

"You said something about a note?" Aubree asked. "He left a note behind? Like...on paper?"

"Yeah," Logan said. He reached up to the coffee table where a wrinkled paper was sitting. He picked it up and read it aloud:

"Brothers," he said.

"I know this is bad timing, and I'm sorry to leave you leaderless in a time like this. But you won't be alone for long. I will return. Just let me take care of this first. I have to make things right again."

"Make things right?" Aubree said. "What does that mean?"

"You figure it out," Logan said. "We're done speculating. It doesn't really matter at this point, does it?"

Aubree looked puzzled. "Well, if you don't know why he left, I don't see how you can figure out where he went."

"She's right," Edward said. "And Logan, what you're thinking doesn't make sense. There is no cure. Believe me. I looked."

"Edward," Bella chided.

"I know. I'm sorry," Edward said. "Sorry, Renesmee."

I had forgotten she was even sitting there. She was so quiet. Even with the apology from Edward, she didn't move but to shake her head a little bit. Her eyes were empty, staring blankly at the coffee table. She looked pale. Natural for their kind perhaps, but something in her coloring was lifeless. As much as I knew they were technically dead, they were still living. And Renesmee didn't quite look it.

Bella put her arm around Renesmee's shoulders. "It's only a matter of time, honey. We'll find him. He'll come home."

Renesmee nodded absently in reply.

And while I watched this short, sad interchange, the rest of the room kept up its speculation. I couldn't help but tune out as I wondered what it must feel like for Renesmee. How long had he been gone? Three weeks? Longer? And she had no idea if he was hurt or worse, or maybe just off avoiding her for whatever reason.

"…but Seth didn't mention anything about Jake," Jonah argued. "It has nothing to do with him."

"He didn't have to," Bella said. "What else would he be trying to fix?"

Logan raised his left eyebrow. "Really, Bella?"

She shook her head. "No. I still don't think leaving would solve that."

Edward looked across to Jasper, who had been quiet through the discussion. "You're right. We should."

The eyes around the room turned to Jasper now. He seemed undisturbed by the remark. "Seth's house. We should be searching there for something."

Dr. Cullen nodded. "Why don't you take Alice and Emmett down there to look around. Logan? Do you have a key?"

"They don't need one. It's a very old house. Living room window has no lock."

"Alright," Dr. Cullen said. "Why don't you go along with them? Help them out?"

Logan nodded and stood. He started pulling off his shoes and socks. "We went through it once already, looking for something to help find out where he had gone. But we didn't see anything."

"We might be able to catch something your eyes missed," Alice said with a wink.

As his second sock was thrown to the floor, he laughed. "Ha. Doubtful."

Jasper and Emmett walked around to wait by the front door. Again, they did not blur away, as I expected they would. I wondered how slow it felt to them. Like…did it feel like it took an eternity to walk across the room at a human's pace? Was walking around campus a torturous activity just from the sheer time-consuming-ness of it?

Logan peeled off his shirt and left it in the shoes and socks pile.

And why exactly was he getting undressed?

And why exactly was I watching?

I looked down at the top of Aubree's head instead. It seemed like the thing to do.

"Uh…I'll do the rest on the way," Logan said. He followed Alice over to the door, and they waited for a moment as Dr. Cullen said one more thing.

"Be careful, just in case," he said. "And call us if you find anything."

"Will do," Emmett replied. He looked over at me. "You gonna be okay, kiddo? You promise you won't explode or anything after I leave? Because I'd hate to miss that." He smiled.

"I'll be fine," I said. "Thanks for the concern."

And they left. I can't say we were better for it. We certainly weren't making any headway.

_Maybe they'll figure something out._

Was Jules on the rail to town yet? Probably. Trying to dry off by the fan. Calling her mom to let her know she was on the way home. Trying to sound chipper so she wouldn't have to explain a mood.

I still had until five.

"What time is it?" I asked the room in general.

Mrs. Cullen looked behind herself, off to the kitchen. The most useless room in the house. "4:00."

I was a man on a mission.

And what was that mission again?

_Oh. Right._

_Jeremy_.

But how was I supposed to bring it up? It wasn't like I could just say, "Hey guys, there's a fellow named Jeremy that I've been seeing around town. Do you guys know him by chance?"

Or, "I probably should have mentioned this before, but I know a guy named Jeremy, and I suspect he might be a werewolf. Can I get your weigh-in on it?"

"Ethan?" Edward said.

I just couldn't get over how stupid I was for not saying something to them sooner. I mean, here I was, sitting in the middle of an inter-species conference about missing people and I just wanted to casually mention someone who was probably part of the problem? _Right._

"Ethan?" Edward said.

Another victim that they didn't know even existed. Or maybe they did.

_I don't know. Whatever._

"Ethan?" Aubree said. She tapped the side of my arm. "Are you listening? Edward is trying to talk to you."

I looked up at Edward, who was staring at me. "Sorry. What?"

"Who is Jeremy?"

Or maybe it was just as easy as that.

"Oh God. Right." I wiped my eye with the heel of my hand. "Sorry. I…um…how do I do this?"

"Try starting at the beginning," Edward suggested.

I nodded and thought back to the first time he came into the shop. I could see him standing there by the counter, ginormous but affable. "Jeremy is this guy who comes into the shop sometimes. And I didn't really think too much about him, he's just a nice guy that I hang out with sometimes. But the other day I was talking to Logan and he was explaining the…" A brief sideways glance to Aubree. "Wolf stuff."

Cough.

Awkward pause.

"Yes? And?" Edward urged.

"And I just thought he seemed to kind of fit the bill. He said he lives down on the rez and goes to school there. A senior. And, well, maybe I'm stereotyping, but he's huge. And…and…"

My head was having a hard time keeping up with itself. I happened to notice a vase of flowers sitting on a little table against the wall. One of the blooms was the exact same color of yellow as Jules's hoodie…

She's just stepping off the rail by now. Bag over her shoulder.

It was still raining out, but no longer pouring. The glass wall had little speckles of water scattered across it and little rivulets running down to the ground.

"Ethan. She's probably fine," Edward said. "Please. What else can you tell us about Jeremy?"

"Sorry," I replied, blinking away the staring eyes. "He was supposed to meet me after work one day, to get some food at the diner, you know? But he never showed. I just figured he ditched and had something better to do, but now I wonder… I mean he hasn't been back to the shop since. And he used to come by pretty regularly. Haven't seen him around town at all, either."

"Do you know who he is, Edward?" Bella asked.

Edward shook his head. "Not familiar to me, but maybe… Trip, Jonah, have you heard of anyone named Jeremy?"

Trip stepped forward, and Jonah put his hand on Trip's arm to stop him. "Not so close," Jonah said.

"Stop it. You're ridiculous. They're not going to hurt me," Trip said. He jerked his arm away and walked forward to join the group. "I don't know a Jeremy here. Not a senior, anyway. There's a kid that lives up north, his brother dated Logan's sister a couple years back. He's little, though." Trip took Alice's empty spot on the couch.

I was already nodding. "Logan mentioned that to me when I asked him about it."

"When did this happen, Ethan?" Dr. Cullen asked. "When were you supposed to meet him?"

"Um…" I reeled back the days in my mind. "Aunt Madison gave me the message the same day Bella and Edward came over to my house. The day they didn't kill me."

Edward chuckled. "I should have said something to Bella about that. Sorry to let you go on thinking…"

"It's okay. Water under the bridge. I already yelled at Bella for it."

"So that was Monday then," Bella said. "You were meeting him that day?"

"No. I went to meet him the next day after work. He was the friend I mentioned that I had to go see. He was the reason I didn't come here."

"Definitely holding out on us," Aubree mumbled. She looked a little more relaxed now, not all tucked and tense. She gave a half-hearted chuckle.

"What can I say? I'm a keeper of vast secrets," I replied with my own sad smile. I sighed.

"I'm beginning to understand that," Aubree said.

Bella thought it over. "So he must have been there on Monday to tell your Aunt Madison to give you the message. Which means he disappeared some time after Monday…afternoon?"

I shrugged. "I guess so. I didn't ask what time he stopped by."

"I think we're all agreed on that," Edward said, looking up at Dr. Cullen. "We still don't know what he was here for. Though…this disproves his disappearance. Or at least it didn't happen when Ethan thinks it did."

It was one of those moments when his ability left him sounding absolutely crazy and off topic.

"What?" I asked.

"They had a visitor on Friday," Edward said. "A wolf from outside the pack. He wouldn't change to talk to them; he just tried to get around them to get somewhere on the reservation. I went down to help them sort it out, to see what he wanted, but he left before I got there. He must have heard me coming. Or perhaps it was my scent that chased him away."

"You think it was Jeremy?" I asked.

"It makes sense," Bella said. "But how is it connected?"

Edward shook his head. "I'm not sure it is. I mean, yes, it's bizarre that he's not around town anymore. But obviously if he was here just two days ago…"

"Right," I said. So much for being helpful. At least I had told them everything I'd come to say. Perhaps it wasn't as helpful and revealing as I had thought it would be, but I felt better for having said it.

Edward was nodding. "Go ahead, Ethan. Thank you for the information."

"Aubree?" I said. "I really want to make sure to catch Jules before she goes. Can we…?"

"I'm not leaving," Aubree said. "And I'm also not a child. I don't need your help to get home, thank you very much."

Okay then. "Um. I guess I'll be off. Aubree, I'll…see you at school tomorrow?"

"Sure. Whatever."

_Jules, I'm on my way. Don't move an inch. I'll be there before you can step onto the platform._

She was probably already in the station. I'd have to buy a ticket to get in. Oh well.

Least of my problems.

"Bye, guys," I said with a little wave. "Hope you have some luck soon."

"Thank you, Ethan," Bella replied.

I looked up to the doctor and his wife. "And it was nice to meet you Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen."

"You too, Ethan. Thank you for coming to help," Dr. Cullen said. "Give your mother my regards."

_Ugh. Probably won't do that._ "Sure. Will do."

And it was then, as I walked around the couch, that something on the coffee table caught my eye. It was the note that Seth had left. Only…

I stopped just behind the spot where Trip was sitting and stared for a moment at the little piece of paper. It sat on the very corner of the table, wrinkled from having been in someone's pocket – Logan's, no doubt.

"Wait. Can I see the note for a second?" I asked Edward.

"Of course," he replied.

I walked back around and crouched down by the coffee table. I stared at the little square. It was off-white, with a long tear at the bottom, as though someone had just ripped it from a larger piece of paper, or a book, perhaps. The writing was nondescript block print, but…

…it looked very familiar.

Because I had once received a very similar note.

From Jeremy.

"What?" Edward asked.

"I…well…" I scanned the letters once more, thinking perhaps I was delusional. But I wasn't. "Seth didn't write this. Jeremy did."

"How can you be sure?" Bella asked. She stood up and leaned across to study the letters as I was. In a matter of moments, they all hovered around me. Somehow I wound up holding the little paper, though I didn't remember picking it up.

"The message Aunt Madison gave me. It was a note. And it looked just like this."

The words took on a completely new meaning.

_Brothers_, it said.

_I know this is bad timing, and I'm sorry to leave you leaderless in a time like this. But you won't be alone for long. I will return. Just let me take care of this first. I have to make things right again._

No.

He didn't mean…

"Why would he do this?" Aubree asked. "Who is this guy? Does this mean he…he…_took_ Seth?"

No one seemed to want to acknowledge the question. Edward was on his phone almost instantly. The little huddle that had gathered around me was now dispersing in various directions through the house. Mrs. Cullen flitted up the staircase; Dr. Cullen went to stand beside Edward, mumbling things to him. Jonah crept out of the corner to get a better look at what we had been reading. Rosalie moved over to the couch to lay a hand on Renesmee's shoulder, even though Bella still had her arms wrapped around her daughter. Neither seemed able to stop the new emotion that was taking over. Renesmee curled her legs into herself and began to sob.

"Shh…" Rosalie said. "I'm sure it's going to be fine. Shh…"

_Why? What does it mean?_

"Just come back quickly," Edward said into his phone. "We'll sort it out." He flipped it closed and turned his eyes back to me, intense, unblinking. "Ethan, do you know where Jeremy lives?"

"No. I'm so sorry. I wish I could…"

Help.

"It's okay, but Ethan, please think. Think back to all the times you spoke with him. Did he ever mention anything about where he was from? Where he was staying? Does he live here in town?"

"He just said 'on the rez,' and I never pressed for more information. Honestly, I don't think he's home much. He said he was doing a lot of camping and rock climbing. The first time he came into the shop he bought a long coil of rope and…"

Edward's calm face broke for just a tiny piece of a second and then rebuilt itself, stronger, with even less emotion. He was a stone.

"Okay, good. What else did he say? What else did he buy?" Edward asked.

"Um. Carabiners. Food packets. He bought a lot of those. Camping supplies."

"And the next time he came in?" Edward prompted.

"Um…we went out for food. He had wrecked his arm rock climbing and…"

_No. Not rock climbing, I guess._

"Right," Edward said. "Go on."

"Well, he never did ask me about that. He said at the beginning that the rocks were too wet and he fell. But then he just started complaining about Forks and how it was such a horrible place to live and people always came back.

"Oh God." I sighed. "The rocks were too wet. He said…"

"_So what happened?"_ I had asked Jeremy.

_He groaned. "Problem was, the rocks were really wet. You know all the rocks around here are really wet."_

"_Where did you go exactly?"_

_He looked at me from the corner of his eye and then down at his arm. "You know Hunger Mountain?"_

"_No. But you could have said anything there and I wouldn't have known it."_

"Hunger Mountain," Edward said. Carlisle nodded and disappeared. I guess the pretenses were over now.

"Whoa. What…" Aubree muttered. Her eyes were wide, flicking back and forth from the spot he was standing to where she thought he had gone to.

"There's no time," Bella said. "I'm sorry, Aubree. Ask Ethan when we're gone. He'll straighten it all out."

Edward was instantly kneeling in front of Renesmee. She had one hand in Bella's. Her face was still buried in her knees.

"It's just not a good idea," Edward said. "And it sounds like it's only one. Your mother will stay and—"

Renesmee's head snapped up, and for the first time in my life, I heard her voice. It wasn't the soft, musical lilting of her mother. It wasn't the frightening low velvet of her father. It was light and high-pitched, but very much not kidding around with anyone.

"DON'T PATRONIZE ME!" she shouted. Her pale complexion was replaced with the bright red of fury. "I will go. There is no way I will stay behind while the whole family goes off to look for my husband. This is my fault."

"It's _not_ your fault," Rosalie said.

"She's right," Bella said. "Please, don't think that you are responsible. You know Jake—"

"No," Renesmee replied. She uncurled herself and pulled her hand from Bella's. She stood up in front of the couch. "Don't try to make me feel better. I don't want to feel better. I owe him this. Even if he's already…even if we're too late." She stopped to take a breath and swallow. "I will go. This is not your decision. I am not a child."

They were right about one thing. It wasn't Renesmee's fault. It was mine.

_If only I had said something earlier…_

_If only I had even just mentioned his name in passing…_

_None of this would be happening now._

Rosalie, Edward, and Bella stood up.

"Alright," Bella said. "We should go."

"What about the rest of them?" I asked. "Aren't you going to wait for them to come back from Seth's house?"

"They're already waiting in the garage," Bella said.

Of course they are. Stupid, speedy mythical creatures.

Aubree clambered to stand as well, a little less gracefully than the vampires. "I want to come along too. I need to be there when…"

"No," Edward said. "I'm sorry, Aubree. You are still a minor, and not…one of us. We're a little more suited to the task. And I'm certain Seth wouldn't approve. You are welcome to wait here, though, until we return."

"But I—"

She didn't get a chance to finish the argument. In the second it took her to speak those two words, they were gone, leaving only a wake of wind behind them.

Muffled by the walls of the house, we heard engines starting, growling. There was the peel of rubber on cement and the blaring of turbines. Aubree ran to the front door and pulled it open. Her hair whipped in the sudden change of air. She stood in the doorway, watching as three cars and three bikes took off down the long dirt road in the gray of a late Forks afternoon.

What a help I had been. I could only sit in guilt until they got back. I sank down onto the empty couch, listening to the tiny pattering of the rain on the front stoop.

I couldn't believe he was behind it all. I mean…this was Jeremy we were talking about. _Jeremy_.

I had come to think of him as a friend.

What would happen to him? What would they do?

And worse still, what if they couldn't stop him?

Aubree spun around. "Ethan," she said. "You know how to drive, right?"

Jules, I'm truly sorry. Maybe this is the end of us…but I can't just sit by and do nothing if I could have stopped it. I'm not coming. I'm sorry.

If only she could hear me.

I looked up at Aubree.

"Yes," I said. "Yes, I do."

* * *

**Thoughts? Comments? General wonderments?**


	21. Chapter 21

**a/n: Hello out there. Welcome to Tapioca Tuesday, Chapter 21st edition.**

**Before we start, I wanted to let those reading GN know that it is on hold until Canon is over. I'm barely making it right now with the one fic. So when this is over Aubree will talk to us again.**

**And I also want to rec a new fic. I've been given the honor of betaing for the lovely and brilliant bririzzle, who started a hilarious fic titled "State of Delusion." Please go check it out. I'm putting a link in my profile.**

**Lastly, playlist[dot]com doesn't like the song for this chapter. It is 14 Arms by The Crash Kings. I have a link in the profile if you are looking for it.**

**Thanks now… to AZBella first, because without her, I would sound pretty idiotic. Thanks, 'hon.**

**Thanks to the wonderful women of Project Team Beta who are helping me sort out my second draft. : )**

**To the t20s gals. You know I love you, right?**

**Thanks to my friends at the Canon/Grace Note FB Fan group. You guys are too much fun.**

**I guess I should stop blabbing now. I can do more of that at the end.**

**Today I am Team Vast Secrets Club.**

**BEWARE OF CLIFF AHEAD! IT'S STEEP!**

**Please enjoy.

* * *

**

Chapter 21

_This had better be worth it. _

I was staring at a two-seat clean-runner. It was a flashy shade of red. All electric, but near full size, and, looking at the shine on the paint and the numerous buttons on the dashboard, I figured it was probably very, very expensive.

_Because if we get there, and we're pointless bystanders, or worse still, if we're too late to do anything…_

I sighed.

"Can you drive it?" Aubree asked, her hand on the hood.

It was locked, but because it was a convertible and the top was down, getting in wasn't a big problem. Starting it, on the other hand, that looked like it would be a little…complicated.

"This, I do not know," I replied. "I can try."

"We don't have time for _try_, Ethan," Aubree said. "Get in."

"You first," I replied, eyeing the driver's side of the dash. The display looked deadly in its intricacy. There was a spread of unlit panels in the middle, waiting for us to turn the car on. The gauges in the driver's side were all at zero. There were a couple touch pads by the gear shifter that I couldn't think of any reasons for. Heck, in trying to find the ignition I would probably wind up blowing us to bits.

Aubree rolled her eyes and moved to the passenger door. She braced her hands over the rolled-down window and hopped neatly inside. It took her a moment to get settled in the seat, but her buckle was done before I could even start worrying about how exactly I was going to mimic her.

"Ethan. Let's go already," she said. "It doesn't bite. It's a car."

_Knowing this family, it probably does. _

I followed her example and pressed my hands against the top of the door to launch myself over it, only I wasn't quite as graceful as Aubree had been. My feet hit the leather seat at a bizarre angle. My momentum didn't die into the landing, as it should have. I crashed into the center console instead, and my head bounced off Aubree's headrest. I got a bit of mud on the upholstery. I twisted my ankle and my hand thwacked against the gearshift; I was certainly going to have a very nice bruise for a very long while.

"Good job," Aubree said. "Now, let's _go." _

"Okay, okay," I said, repositioning myself so I was actually sitting. I buckled my seatbelt and reached for the ignition button. Luckily, it was exactly where it should have been. With a short, deep breath, I pushed it.

The car did not come to life.

_You have got to be kidding me. _

Instead, it spoke to us in an even-toned, female voice. "You are not Rosalie Hale. Please enter an authorization code to begin."

The screen in the middle of the dash lit up with a panel of numbers and letters. A blinking cursor taunted me at the top.

"Damn it," Aubree said. "What about…Emmett? They're close. Try that."

Somehow I didn't think it would be that easy. I obliged her anyhow, typing in the name and hitting enter. This time it was not the mechanical voice of the car's computer that replied.

"You think I'm that much of an idiot, dog? Right. I told you _no_," Rosalie's voice said.

"I don't think this is going to work, Aubree," I said.

She banged her hands against the armrests. "Shit, shit, shit!"

I had never heard her swear before.

"What about one of the other cars?" she asked, craning her neck around to the dark corner of the garage. There were four silhouettes of vehicles under cloths hiding from the rest of the world. If _this_ car was allowed to be out in the open air, I cringed to think what kind of extravagances were underneath those white sheets. My mind couldn't fathom anything worth more than the one I was sitting in already.

"Probably not a good idea," I said.

"Then what do you propose we do, Ethan?" she asked. Her face was red. "We don't have a lot of time here. What happened to the guy from five minutes ago who was all gung-ho about helping them?"

"I still want to help. I just don't know how we can steal one of their cars to do it. Maybe we can catch the rail down to your house and get your bikes or—"

"It's like _thirty miles_," she said. "If we go by bike, we'll get there…tomorrow or something. And we don't have time to wait for the rail."

I looked back at the dark corner of the garage again, knowing she was right. "Fine. Let's go."

We climbed and clambered our way out of the car (I'll let you guess who did which) and walked back to the dusty corner where the four unknown cars sat. Aubree was already pulling the cloth off the first one, without worrying what it was. I held my breath, waiting for alarms to sound and the garage door to shut itself on us. Surely the police were already on their way…

Though, I guess vampires had little use for alarm systems. I couldn't imagine they were afraid of common thieves.

_And who would ever want to come out here anyway? _

"Ethan. It's unlocked, but…" She pulled the passenger door open and eyed the interior. "It's kind of old. Do you think it runs?"

"I'm going to say yes," I said. "I don't think the Cullens would own a car that didn't work."

The car was yellow; it had two race-style seats and actual dials across the driver's side dash. The buttons on the center console were like my mom's car, not touch sensitive, but actual buttons – square, retro. The upholstery was in excellent condition, and though it was certainly an antique, it still looked new. Very definitely worth more than the red car. It was a classic.

The ignition required a key, similar to my mom's, but also different. It didn't look like it was waiting for a magnet, more like a skinny metal something. I leaned in and examined the slot where the key went and tried to think of ways I could fake it. A stick?

_No, that probably wouldn't work. _

"Aubree, do you know how to start this thing? It runs on a key," I said.

She groaned. "Well, it has to be in it somewhere. Or around the garage. I mean, what are they going to do? Carry it around with them all the time? Yeah, right."

She had a point.

I crouched down and reached under the seat, feeling around for the little metal bit that would start the car. It wasn't down there. I sat in the driver's seat and began opening all the various compartments I could find. There was nothing in the glove box but an actual pair of gloves (weird). The center console was empty as well.

"Ethan!" Aubree shouted from the left side of the garage. "Over here!"

I almost jumped out of the car. I jogged over to meet her by the counter that lined the wall. She was standing in front of a metal box that hung above it. She pulled the door open to reveal four rows of hooks. Only the bottom row was occupied…with four sets of metal keys.

_Bingo._

It took matching skills we learned in preschool to find the set that had the crest emblem that went along with the logo on the hood of the yellow car. As I grabbed it from the hook I realized my nerves were not aimed at our reckless thievery, but at what we would see when we got to where we were going. I didn't want to find what we were surely going to find, and yet—

"Stop staring at them. Let's _go!" _Aubree was already halfway back to the car.

The keys made a muffled clicking noise as my hand wrapped around them. I ran back to catch up with her. She was waiting in the seat when I got there, belt fastened, her right knee bouncing up and down.

I slid into the driver's seat and buckled my own belt. I admit, the curve of the leather felt good. There was a certain way it hugged my back that made me feel like: _yes, I can go fast in this car._ And when I put the key in the ignition and turned it on…well, the noise that came from the hood didn't hurt, either.

I couldn't help but think it had been too easy.

But it was about to be too difficult.

I stepped on the gas and we shot forward. My foot moved to slam on the brake, only I found that I didn't really need to slam on anything with this car. The tires squealed against the polished cement, and I was afraid we left marks on their perfect floor. I switched back to the accelerator and tried a different tactic – very little pressure, gradual, cautious. I had always been good at cautious.

After a few false starts, we managed to make it out of the garage. I was just happy I didn't crash into anything. The road was empty in front of us.

"You know where we're going, right?" I asked Aubree.

"Yeah," she replied. Her voice was hollow, wistful. She stared out the side window. "But I'm afraid to get there."

"I know exactly what you mean," I replied. And with that last world I hit the gas.

Because maybe it was time to leave cautious Ethan behind.

***

We drove in silence for the first ten minutes; Aubree only interrupted her still contemplation to give directions. We made pretty good time through the first stretch of empty highway, but as we turned for Lake Pleasant I had to slow down. I was a minor driving a flashy car. I needed no other excuse to get hauled into jail on that particular Sunday afternoon.

The tinted windows were a blessing.

We were twenty miles away, and while I still found myself preoccupied with all that we were headed toward, I had enough attention left in me to worry over something else entirely. I had a phone call to make. The brief thought crossed my mind that I didn't want to have this particular conversation in front of Aubree, but she and I were venturing on a new relationship. I had no word to define it as yet, certainly not really _friends_, but something more than we were before. The Cullens had trusted her to carry the secrets I had, so maybe I could survive her eavesdropping.

Even if Ava _was_ her sister.

Either way, the call had to be made. I pushed the button on the side of my phone. "Call Justin Halifax."

After the line rang, he answered with a sigh. Probably not a good thing. "I shouldn't be talking to you."

"I know," I replied. "I am well aware that I'm most likely blacklisted. I don't blame her."

"What happened?" he asked.

He wasn't there to see it, but I found myself shaking my head anyways. "I…can't say. If she wants to tell you, that's fine."

"Okay…"

I stepped on the brake as we came to a stoplight. The car didn't have auto-brakes for intersections. Weird. "Listen, I need you to do me just one last favor."

"One _last_ favor?" he asked. "What the hell is wrong with you, man? You're not going to do anything drastic, right?"

I almost laughed at the train of thought he was on. But he had a point. Perhaps it wasn't really a death wish that had me running off to a possible melee between vampires and werewolves, but that really didn't matter. For the first time that day, I accepted the idea that perhaps I wasn't going to come out of this whole thing unscathed.

"No," I said quickly. "I just mean…I know that it isn't fair for you to have to go between the two of us. And I surrender the choice. Be _her_ friend, please.

"And so I have one last favor to ask, as a friend."

"What is it?" Justin asked.

The light turned green and I got the car going again. "When she gets into town, will you call me and let me know she made it okay? If I don't answer, just leave a message. I just…I have to know she got home safe, okay?"

His voice was low, somber. "Okay. Will do."

"Thanks, Justin. And I'm sorry for being an ass and ruining everything. Maybe some distant day we can be friends again. Maybe look me up at UMT. I'm probably coming anyhow."

"Really, Ethan, I doubt this is forever. Whatever it is, she'll get over it and—"

"We'll see. I'm not keeping up my hopes, though. Thanks for everything."

"Sure thing," he replied.

"'Bye."

"See you."

And I hung up the phone.

The sun was starting to set behind us and I gave a little more on the gas. I wasn't interested in arriving after dark.

"Does it ever get any easier?" Aubree asked. It was the first full sentence I had heard from her since the garage.

"What's that?" I asked. I glanced over at her for a second. She was sitting with her knees tucked into her chest and her head against the passenger window.

"Living with all this. I know Bella said you would answer my questions, but the honest truth is…I'm not really sure I want to ask them. I'm having a hard enough time coping with what I do know."

I nodded. "I had a moment where I…flipped out a little. Or maybe it was more than one." I chuckled. "But it's settling now. I'm getting better at it, I think.

"It's just a matter of time, and balance. And getting over it because you have to. The other option is to go insane, and I'm pretty sure that's not much fun.

"You'll live," I told her. "You're stronger than I am, that's for sure."

From the corner of my eye, I caught her smile. "Damn straight."

She borrowed my phone to call Will. From the pieces of the conversation that I overheard, it sounded like she was asking for him to cover for her. Apparently she had told her mother she would be with him all afternoon. It also sounded like Will wanted answers about the whole ordeal, but Aubree dutifully kept her mouth shut and told him to also do the favor of not asking why.

And then I asked myself a question that was most certainly blasphemous: _Why can't Jules be more like Will? _

When she hung up the phone she said, "This is a burden."

"Yeah," I replied. "I'm sorry you had to get all wrapped up in it."

"It's not your fault, Ethan. In fact, I feel a little like I'm dragging you along with me. But I'm not going to apologize for that." She took a deep breath. "Alright then. Fill me in. I'd like to be a member of the Vast Secrets Club."

I took a moment to try to figure out the best way to tell her. It wasn't something I had expected I would ever have to do, and I certainly didn't have any practice. Why did Bella tell her I would be the one to straighten her out?

"Well," I said. "Um."

"You can be blunt, Ethan. I'm okay with that. Just spit it out."

It sounded a lot more like a question than a statement. "Vampires?"

She didn't reply other than to tap her fingernails against the armrest.

I coughed. "The Cullens, I mean. And…and Bella, too."

"Right," she said. At least she _sounded_ calm.

"Have you gone insane yet?" I asked.

"I don't think so," she said. She laughed. "It's not…well, is it weird if I say I still don't really believe it?"

"Nah," I said. "I can understand that."

"I mean, I know they run really fast and all…but…maybe it's just still a word to me. It's not really real, you know?"

I sighed. "Yeah. I know."

"But don't lose hope. I might still go crazy. I have a lot of time ahead of me for that."

I chuckled. "Fair enough."

We hit the end of Sappho, where the interstate rail station was, just as the clock on the dash clicked over from 4:59 to 5:00. The last stoplight ahead of us turned red and I tapped on the brakes.

_"Last call for the five o'clock to points east. _

"_First destination is Lake Crescent and Ovington. Twenty minutes."_

I sighed and adjusted the rearview mirror. The sun had found a small break in the clouds and was now shooting death rays into my eyes. The rain was gone. It would be back again soon, though.

_A solitary girl sits in the third row on the right, _I thought. _She hugs a bag to her chest and hides the tears running down her face by letting her hair hang over her eyes._

I looked to my left. The rail track ran parallel to the highway. It didn't care about Sappho. It didn't stop there.

The light turned green and I stepped on the gas again. The clock read 5:02.

_ Her head is turned toward_ _the window and she watches as the forests and tiny towns run together._

The last vestiges of the city grew distant, and I let my foot press down a little harder.

_ As fast as the rail goes, she thinks it can't get her out of town fast enough._

I spotted the little glint of reflected sunlight behind me first. It was very faint, just a tiny sparkle.

It gained quickly, as I knew it would.

The clock read 5:05.

_She wipes her face and hair and tells herself to just forget it all. He wasn't worth it. _

_ Except…maybe he was?_

_ I hope he was. _

The rail was breezing through Sappho, set to pass us in seconds. I stepped down on the gas, and the arm on the speedometer climbed higher.

_Maybe she sees the yellow car. Maybe she doesn't._

The rail came into view in my periphery. I pressed the pedal to the floor, police cars be damned.

"The turn is up ahead," Aubree said. "You might want to slow down."

We ran parallel to the rail for a moment, matching its speed. I looked across to see if I could make out her face behind the glass.

"Ethan?"

But I couldn't find her.

Aubree shook my shoulder lightly. "Ethan, you've got to slow down. It's right there."

_He will never know. _

I almost missed the turn. About fifty feet before the small intersection, I switched from the accelerator to the brake, and the tires whined in protest. The car swerved slightly and then fell into the turn as I pulled on the wheel.

"Sorry," I said.

"It's okay," Aubree replied. "As long as we get there before…I couldn't care less."

The rail blazed past. I tried not to watch it out the rearview mirror.

She was gone. Officially.

It was time to get the show on the road.

***

The roads winding up the mountain combined with my speed made for a very quiet Aubree. When I looked over at her every once in a while she looked like she was going pale, or green, perhaps. She didn't talk very much, reverting back to directions only.

So it was weave, straightaway, weave, straightaway, for ten miles in silence. I was getting used to the car, its sensitivity, and the bizarre effort I had to expend on braking. I was no longer thinking about Jules, or I was telling myself I was no longer thinking about Jules, anyway. My new mental topic was Jeremy.

What did I really know about him? Aside from the stuff about rock climbing, which was sounding more and more like lies, I didn't have much information to go on. He seemed to hate school. If he went at all. And he didn't seem to much care for the town of Forks. Why did he even bother living here?

_His dad. He mentioned his dad. _

The part that bothered me most was…how could he be what I suspected him to be and also fly under the radar of the Cullens and their friends? If he had lived here all his life, had gone to school on the reservation as he said he had, he would have certainly crossed paths with them at some point or another. Right?

Maybe it was naiveté, but I really didn't want to think that _everything_ he had ever said to me was a lie. Why would he care enough to tell _me_ lies?

Because the truth was insane.

_"Hi, I'm Jeremy. I'm a werewolf. I'm out to kidnap the local werewolves here in Forks for my own personal reasons."_

Yeah. I probably wouldn't have spoken to him after that introduction. And even crazy people need someone to talk to every once and a while.

Aubree straightened up in her seat. She leaned a little more toward the passenger window, her eyes wide. She gripped the armrest on the door. "Turn up here. We should be getting close."

There was a sign that read "Hunger Mountain Campsites, Next Left." The pavement disappeared behind us as I turned. I could make out tracks on the dirt, bikes and cars gone by. Things looked promising.

Aubree couldn't figure out how to roll down the window. It took me a couple moments until I spotted the little lever-ish knobs on my armrest. I told her where to find hers and she lowered the glass.

We listened.

There was no noise but the tires on the dirt as we made our way past the first couple campsites. We wound through the trees and empty plots of land. There were patches of almost-snow and ice on the ground at our new elevation. The gray was rolling in again overhead, dimming the already low light. We passed some darker, denser forest and then came to a long stretch of dead grass that spread out on the driver's side of the car. It went on for miles.

Across the grass I could see the bended road we were headed toward and a row of abandoned vehicles next to a patch of woods.

"There!" Aubree said. Her arm shot across the car to point out my window. "They're over there!"

I picked up the pace, and a curl of nausea turned in my stomach. My heart began to race along with the car. The closer we came, the faster it went. Aubree's hair thrashed violently around her.

And probably before I was ready for it – though I would never be ready for it – we arrived. I parked behind the black sedan. Before I could kill the engine, Aubree was out of the car and running for the campsite around the corner.

"Aubree! Wait!" I shouted.

When I got out of the car I could hear muffled, far-off voices.

"Don't you dare!" someone shouted.

I ran.

Aubree was only yards ahead of me, turning around the bikes. I saw her profile for a moment before she vanished behind a row of trees.

"Stay back!" someone else shouted.

I ran faster still.

As I took the turn around the bikes, my eyes caught up with the voices, and I took in the scene just ahead.

Aubree was still running, almost halfway to the Cullens. They stood in a semicircle, spokes of a wheel that I couldn't see the center of. Edward and Bella took the middle of the group, and Renesmee was just beside them. Emmett and Rose, Jasper and Alice, they all stood flanking them. Carlisle was a step ahead of them; I could only make out the blonde of the top of his head. Esme hung back beside Rosalie. The wolves made a huddle closest to us, Logan at the point.

"Oh, God! Seth!" Aubree shouted. Emmett and Alice turned to watch us. Trip moved to intercept Aubree's path, hooking an arm around her waist to stop her from passing their perimeter. "No!"

I slowed to a jog as I caught up.

Aubree was crying. "You have to let me through. Please. Please."

"Shh," Trip said. "It's not safe. Not now, Aubree."

And then I saw what sent her to grief.

Just beyond the line that the family held, Jeremy was standing with a hunched figure in his arm. The person had long, scraggly black hair that was hanging over his lolling head. I couldn't make out his features, but I would have put good money on the fact that it was Jake.

Behind them both, Seth's crumpled frame was curled up on the ground. His eyes were closed, and I tried to see if he was breathing, but he was too far away. He was bound with rope by his wrists and ankles.

_Good job, Ethan. _

"It's alright," Carlisle said in a calm voice. "Like I said, we only want to talk…"

And if that wasn't enough to make me want to run away, there was Jeremy himself. His face was red, dirty, and shiny with sweat. His left arm was supporting Jake, while the right held a tiny transparent cylinder to his neck. It was a needleless syringe, and he held his thumb on the trigger.

Beside me, Aubree was sobbing and struggling against Trip's grasp. He was too much for her.

"God," I whispered. "What did I do?"

If I was going to do anything to help, now was the time. And yet, I had no idea how.

Jeremy's head snapped over to look my way. "Ethan? Is that you?" The twisting anger that once held his features died away. "Ethan?"

I swallowed and took a step forward. Trip pulled Aubree back; Logan and Jonah parted to let me walk through.

"Yeah," I replied. "It's me."

* * *

**So I don't know if you've noticed, but we're nearing the end here, folks. We've got a couple more and we're out the door. I'm really kind of sad about it. :(**

**But GN will continue. So there's hope for me there.**


	22. Chapter 22

**a/n: Apologies for the Tapioca Tuesday fail, m'dears. This chapter is kind of important to me, and I've been obsessing over it for a while. I'm still a little nervous about it.**

**Thanks to my betas for this one: AZBella and Bririzzle who are so wonderful to put up with my whining at the wee hours of the morning.**

**Thanks to the t20s Tapioca Crew for all the support and Cemetery Tag fun. Can't wait for ComicCon, loves. It's gonna be epic.**

**Thanks to the FB group for keeping Ethan company whilst he pines for Jules. I'm sure he appreciates it.**

**Thank you to all the reviewers out there. You make it all more fun than a barrel of monkeys. And I've witnessed a barrel of monkeys firsthand, so I know how much fun that can be. ;)**

**My last rambling is to say thank you to all those who nominated Canon and/or Grace Note at the Indies. I saw them up on the list and in true clichéd fashion, my heart swelled with pride. **

**And now onto Chapter 22. After this we only have one more and then the epilogue…*sadness***

**Playlist[dot]com doesn't like the song for this chapter either. And it is absolutely the most perfect song ever. Please check it out. There's a link in my profile. :)**

**Today I am Team Ethan.**

**With a bullet.

* * *

**

Chapter 22

Everything and everyone went absolutely still. The only motion was Jeremy's chest rising and falling with heavy, nervous breaths. He adjusted his grip on the syringe, and I heard a soft gasp from someone off to my left.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked. He looked down at Jake and then back to me.

I chuckled bitterly. "That is a very good question. I really don't belong here, do I?"

Truer words were never spoken.

"Do you know what you've gotten yourself wrapped up in?" he asked.

"Truthfully? No. Not really," I said. I'm not sure where the bravado was coming from, but as everyone stood on pins and needles over the scene, I took a step closer to him. "I was hoping you could help me figure that out, actually."

"Are you with them?" he asked. "Are you friends with these…these…_creatures_?"

Probably not the best time to be completely honest, so I decided to dodge that particular answer.

"I'm not _with _anyone," I said. "Except Aubree over there, and I'm pretty sure she's just a run-of-the-mill human like me."

He looked over at Aubree, who was still caught up in Trip's arm. She wasn't struggling anymore, but she held fast to his shirt with one hand. I'm not sure she realized she was holding onto him at all. Her eyes were fixed on the figure lying in the distance.

"Jeremy, what's going on?" I asked.

"They don't belong," he said. "They're a plague. Do you know what they are, Ethan? Do you know what they do to people?"

Renesmee spoke, her voice was pleading. "But _Jake_ isn't—"

"Shut up!" Jeremy screamed. He lifted the hand holding the syringe a little higher, getting a better angle on Jake's neck.

"Jeremy! Wait! Just wait…" I begged. I shook my head. "I don't understand. _Please_. We're friends, right…?"

His hand drew back the tiniest bit. His forehead crinkled and his eyes darted back and forth, scanning the dirt in front of him.

"Tell them to get back," he said. "They're too close."

The distance didn't matter much. Didn't he know that?

I looked over at Edward and he nodded. The family walked backwards very slowly.

And when they were settled, I gave him a prompt. "Jeremy?"

Maybe it was the ability of the Cullens to be soundless and motionless – or maybe it was just because they didn't matter to me in that moment – either way, once they were past my periphery, they weren't much more than an afterthought. It was he and I. And poor Jake caught in the middle, but I was trying to keep that out of my head.

It was just the two of us, and we were going to talk. Exactly like the day at the diner. No. Big. Deal.

_Yeah, keep dreaming, Ethan. _

The little pieces of scenery behind him were telling me how traitorous I had been. Off to the right was the tent I had sold him. Just in front of that was the little gas stove. And let's not forget the rope wound around Seth. There were discarded wrappers littered all over the ground from the dehydrated food he seemed to enjoy so much. Along with empty syringes. Lots and lots of empty syringes.

At least I had nothing to do with those.

I fought to keep my voice calm. Didn't want to get him too excited. "Just tell me…help _me_ understand all this. Please?"

He let the question roll around in his head for a bit. When he finally spoke, he didn't look at me at first. His eyes kept to the ground.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to get so mad at someone that you feel like there's fire in your veins? Like you're going to explode? Like really, truly explode? Do you have any idea what that does to a person?"

He seemed to be waiting for an answer, but I wasn't sure what to say.

He looked up at me. "I do.

"I was visiting my parents," he said. "They were living just outside Olympia at the time. My dad had gone to pick up Tasha from her friend's house. So it was just Mom and I, sitting around, waiting for them to get back so we could go out for dinner. Mom wanted to talk about my future. She always wanted to talk about my future. I wasn't as interested in grad school as she hoped I would be, and I had to admit to her that I hadn't applied anywhere. We had a shouting match about it, as if that would solve anything. The deadlines had long passed."

He looked at the syringe, appraising the liquid inside. He tilted it and watched as a tiny bubble moved from the bottom to the top.

I waited for him to continue.

"I can remember so clearly the moment it tipped over. I hadn't been feeling well most of the day, and when the fight got to its peak, I could feel my skin just…_burning_. I swear it felt like I was going to burst into flames. I screamed at her, and the scream turned into something else. _I _turned into something else.

"I don't know how long it lasted. I don't even know how I managed to change back, but when I did, I was standing over my mother's battered and torn body. I was naked and shivering with blood on my hands. She was dead, Ethan. I killed her."

My breath stuttered. "Oh, God, I'm so sorry…" I said. "I…"

He ignored my sympathy. "I knew I had to get out of town. It was my only choice. I was a freak of nature. I was…_wrong_. And I was dangerous to everyone around me.

"So I left. I spent most of my days just running. I didn't know where I was headed. There wasn't anywhere safe. And when I would think back to what I had done, how I was responsible…" He closed his eyes and took a breath. "It was so hard to keep myself under control enough to stay a person for any good length of time. I wandered through forests and cities. Hid in shadows and ran at night, just trying to find out why it was happening to me. _Me_. Why me?" His hand came down the slightest bit. His trigger finger relaxed.

I took a step forward.

His eyes were scanning the dirt again. "When I finally got to the point where I could control the change better, I was just outside a little town called Shine. Ever hear of it, Ethan?" He didn't really look up to see me shaking my head. "Of course you wouldn't. It's a tiny, godforsaken town that no one should ever live in." He chuckled. "Kind of like Forks."

And even though I wasn't too sure I really wanted to know…"What happened in Shine, Jeremy?"

"I started a new life," he said. "I got a job in a bar. I kept to myself most of the time. I tried to forget what I had done. And I researched my family's lineage." He hugged Jake a little closer and laughed. The hand holding the syringe tipped away from his neck.

"What did you find out?"

"I tracked my family line back to a Quileute tribe on the west coast of Washington. It was hard to find the whole family tree; some of the names were fudged in the record. But once I knew _where_ I had come from, I knew why I was who I was.

"Because wrapped up in all of it, I found the old legends of my people. And finally my life made sense. I learned who was the enemy. I knew then that I wasn't really to blame for my mother's death. It was because of those…these…I wouldn't have killed her if I weren't the way I was. And I wouldn't be the way I was if it weren't for them."

It didn't really follow any kind of logic that I could tell. Where did Jake fit into the equation? "But…why do you have to take it out on—"

He erupted into a fit of very loud, very hysterical laughter. "That's the BEST PART." His face turned red. He put the syringe against Jake's temple. "After months – I don't know, felt more like years – here I thought I was alone. I thought I was the last freakish twist in the family gene pool. I was even planning a trip out here. I was going to come down and meet the tribe and see…just see if I could fit in _somewhere. _I just needed to save up a little money…

"So one day I'm just opening up shop, and who waltzes into my bar? This guy." He gave Jacob a little shake. "_This guy." _

"I would think you would appreciate the chance to—"

"Oh, I thought I had been saved." He raised the hand that held the syringe up to the sky. "Hallelujah! He walks in, looking far too tan for Washington. And then I hand him the drink he ordered and…the guy's got a temperature. I thought he was a miracle sent to me from Heaven above.

"But I was wrong.

"It wasn't 'til later that I realized he was really my _purpose."_

"What do you mean?" I asked. I took another slow step forward. I could smell the sweat that ran around the armpits of his threadbare shirt. In true werewolf fashion, he didn't seem to care much for clothing. He wasn't wearing any shoes.

He kissed the top of Jake's hanging head. "We got to talking, good ol' Jake and I. Good ol' Uncle Jake."

_Uncle Jake? _

"Hah!" Jeremy pointed the syringe in my direction, wagging it like a baton. "Didn't see that one coming, didja, Ethan? Yes. He's my great-great-great-uncle. His sister, Rachel, why she's right up there. Direct line."

"I still don't see why…"

"Well, we got to talking, him and I. And we were so happy to have found each other at first. He lost touch with the grandnephews, evidently. They moved away after granny and grampy passed on. So he didn't know I even existed. Gallivanting around with his own damn family takes a toll on long lost relatives, I guess.

"And then I asked him about his _wife." _

_ Ah._ I nodded to keep him talking.

"And he explained his particular…situation."

For whatever reason, I thought I could rationalize with him. "Jeremy, they're not the enemy. They're not like other—"

"Don't you try that shit with me!" Jeremy shouted. "Don't let them brainwash you into thinking they are _anything_ but a scourge on the planet. And it is our duty, our _duty_ to kill them all. And he thinks he's in _love_ with one of them."

There must have been a movement that I couldn't see, because Jeremy put the syringe back against Jake's neck and said, "I said _stay back_."

"Please, just let me explain—" I said.

"It's not his fault," Jeremy said. His voice went cool, even. "It's not like he knew it would happen; it's not something he could control. I understand that. But it is something that we can remedy." He angled his hand once again. "It's a kindness, really."

I blurted out the first question I could think of. Talking equaled not killing. "What about Seth?"

His eyes went wide. He was looking at me again. "They both committed sins against the tribe, and for that they deserve to die. If they could talk, they would agree with me. I know this."

"But what did he _do_?"

He spoke quickly, as if the speed would help convince me. "He was their friend. Has known them for decades. And never once did he think of doing his job. He helped them survive. Helped them fight…

"So I am here to take his place. I won't stand by and let him lead this new generation when he is so misguided himself. He doesn't belong as their leader. He belongs in the ground."

And then I saw the crack in his warped logic. "Jeremy, what of the wolves?" I asked.

"What?"

"They stand here to fight beside the Cullens now. Are you going to kill all of them, too?"

He wasn't as quick on the defense this time. He looked over at the group of them – soldiers in tattered tee shirts. His mouth opened, but no words came out.

I took another step forward. I could feel the heat of him from feet away. If I leaned forward just slightly I could probably reach out and touch him.

The argument was fighting its way out. "They're…they're still young. They haven't been _taught_—"

"Oh I'm pretty sure they know exactly what they're doing," I replied. "Except maybe Jonah." I looked over at Jonah and raised my eyebrows. "Eh, kid?"

He scowled at the comment. I guess he didn't find it quite as funny as I did.

I turned back to Jeremy. "So I guess you have a couple choices here. You can take them all out, on your own. Because I really don't see the guys helping you with the Cullens, and now that we all know whose side they're really on, you would have to go after them as well…right?"

"Ethan—"Logan hissed. I was pushing the buttons of a mad werewolf, and playing with a life in the process. Who knew Ethan Powell could come so far from the little town of Polson? Certainly not me.

I kept on as if he hadn't spoken. "Or you can give this up. Go somewhere far away. Take up a new life. I'm not saying you can't go after the bad guys; from what I hear, there are plenty of them out there. And I'm sure you could do us all a great service if you would just—"

"These are _my people_," Jeremy said. "They deserve my help. And this…this…_coven_ is blasphemy."

Oh. Right. He's _crazy._ Of course he would pick that choice.

"Alright," I replied. "But your 'people' includes them." I pointed to Logan. "And Jake. And Seth."

He shook his head.

"Jeremy, how can you win here?" I asked, my voice as gentle as I could make it. "You kill them and there's no way the Cullens are going to let you leave here. How can you do all the things you want to do if you're dead?"

His giant Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. Had he really not thought about what would happen after?

"I don't care," he said. His voice turned into something of a growl.

Oh, yes. Very reasonable. He didn't sound at all like an eight-year-old.

Okay, so words were not doing me much good. My lofty goal of being the gallant hostage negotiator was slowly dissolving away to make me face reality: I was nothing but a high school kid standing feet away from a lunatic hell-bent on killing as many people as he could lay hands on. And I was sounding more and more like I sided with the enemy.

But if he really wanted to do it, why didn't he just do it already?

There had to be some speck of survival instinct in that head of his. Or guilt, perhaps. Or maybe he just didn't want the audience?

I had no idea.

But I had to come up with a way to spin whatever hesitation he had in my favor.

They were all there behind me, waiting. Motionless now, but that could easily change. Certainly I wasn't the person equipped to try to wrestle the syringe out of his hand, but if I could get him to just falter _once_…it would all be over in a matter of minutes.

I needed him to make a mistake.

No…

Not a mistake.

It was so obvious. Why didn't I think of it sooner?

We had all been tiptoeing around, trying to keep him calm, trying to get him to a clearer head so he could see reason. But that wasn't going to happen. What I really needed to do…

I needed to make him _mad._

I took another step forward, but I didn't worry about keeping it slow this time. "Jeremy. You realize you're crazy, right?"

I heard Bella mutter something. Edward's voice was a quiet reply that I couldn't quite make out, but the end of it was "Shh…"

Jeremy stared me down. "No. I just…"

Remember my plan from so long ago? Ah, the days of bow ties and pink beads. How silly it all seemed now.

Point one: I would not be a victim.

_Sorry, Jeremy. I'm never going to forgive myself for this but— _

"You're trying to kill us all. That's _insane,"_ I said. "And you won't survive this. There's just no way. And then your mother's death will have meant nothing. _You_ killed her, Jeremy. Why? Because she didn't like how you were spending your time? Gee, what a bitch—"

"Stop it!" he shouted. "Don't talk about her like—"

"I will talk about her any way I damn please. She's just a woman too stupid to realize what she raised."

He closed his eyes. "Stop it." The hand holding the syringe shook a little bit.

Point two: I would find a way to protect my family and friends.

"She was just too stupid to realize she should have gotten rid of you when she still could. Freak."

His skin started to crawl, _visibly crawl_. I tried to keep my face blank, watching in silent horror as the hand fell to his side and he clenched his fist around the syringe. He was taking deep breaths, but the rippling skin didn't quiet as he tried to compose himself.

And then there was that last pesky point of my plan: I would do anything and everything to stay alive.

_Well, two out of three ain't bad._

He was teetering on the edge, and I was going to have to tip him over. "It's her own fault really. Stupid as she was, she didn't _deserve_ to live."

There was a low scream that turned into a growl. His skin exploded into a massive black form far too big to be called just a wolf. The torn remains of his clothes flew in a million different directions. He was all fur and sinews and the shine of bared teeth that dripped with saliva. Jake fell to a heap beside him, discarded, forgotten. He had an entirely new target.

Me.

But my job was done. The syringe was rolling harmlessly across the dirt.

Because wolves don't have hands.

The next moments happened so quickly, I'm not sure I can really remember it all. The Jeremy-wolf lunged back, his growl taking on a new, bone-chilling pitch that was almost too low for my range of hearing. I found myself backing away, even though I hadn't really meant to. And before I knew it, he was in the air in front of me, his claws stretched out. His teeth too close for comfort.

One second I was staring at the frightening white, the next there was impact. But it wasn't the trajectory I expected. He caught just the edge of my leg, instead of my face that I'm sure he was aiming for.

Because he wasn't the only one moving now. There were blurs of color around me, new growls. And I was falling backwards. There was a sudden, bright pain as the back of my head hit the ground. My leg burned with the promise of missing skin.

"Ethan!" Aubree shouted. She was somewhere off to the right, far away from the snapping and growling that tornadoed around me.

I had enough consciousness left to know that it was a good thing she was over there.

I wanted to know how it would end. I wanted to know that none of my efforts were in vain. And I kinda hoped when it was over, he would still be okay. They didn't have to _kill _him, right?

Right?

_Do they make insane asylums equipped for werewolves? _

My eyelids drooped. Oblivion was calling me home. Hopefully I wasn't too badly damaged and could someday wake up again. That would be nice.

_Eli, Eli had some socks_

_A dollar a pair and a nickel a box_

There was a loud crack and a whine.

_Jeremy? You okay? _

He was quite outnumbered.

I closed my eyes. The pain blossomed across the back of my skull.

_Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy? _

_Boom, boom, ain't it great to be crazy? _

And I left the vampires and werewolves to their own devices for once.

***

Oh, man. No one ever told me how much waking up could _hurt._

I coughed and sputtered myself back to the real world. It was sprinkling, and I think the water was what brought me around. I blinked a couple times and reached up a hand to cover my face. Even that was painful. I was fairly certain I hadn't done any damage to my arm, but it didn't much want to move anyway.

I struggled to sit upright and felt a cold hand against my shoulder.

"Give it a second, Ethan," Bella said. She was kneeling beside me in the dirt. Her nice, expensive-looking jeans were getting all messed up as the rain mixed in and made for mud.

I groaned. My head was throbbing and felt too big to fit through doors. "Where is he? Is everyone okay? What happened?"

Bella looked off to her right. "Yeah, he's coming around," she said.

I coughed. "Bella?"

"Jake is going to be okay, thanks to you," she said. "He's a little more awake now. Enough to refuse to let Renesmee carry him back to the car. Stubborn fool. And though Seth is still out, Carlisle says it's only a matter of time before the drugs wear off. They've both got some healing to do." She sighed. "But they'll be _fine_."

"And Jeremy?"

She didn't answer. Then again, she didn't need to. The set of her mouth as it turned down the tiniest bit said it all.

"Right," I said. "I knew that."

I moved to prop myself up on my elbows. Bella's hand came down again.

"You shouldn't move," she said. "Carlisle said not to let you move."

I just wanted to see for myself the disaster I had caused. "Just for a sec. Please?"

She thought this over for a moment and then nodded. She put one hand on the back of my head and another on the back of my arm. I didn't have to do any of that annoying "sitting up" stuff, evidently. She was supporting almost all my weight.

Emmett and Renesmee were walking Jacob back around the line of trees, heading for the cars. Carlisle and Edward were kneeling next to Seth, along with a very distraught Aubree, who had her head in her hands. Jasper and Alice stood just behind her. And then the hands came down. She lifted her head and wiped her eyes.

I couldn't find Jeremy anywhere.

There were camping supplies. There were scattered bits of his shirt and shorts. There were rocks and trees and rain, and the stillness that comes after the storm blows over. All the remnants of a man who had once been a little too far gone for his own good.

Maybe it was better I didn't see him. The guilt was already laying itself on pretty thick, and with my head as heavy as it already was, I probably couldn't have stayed amongst the living for very long if I had to see the body.

Logan, Trip, and Jonah were also nowhere to be found.

Carlisle appeared behind Bella in one of those disorienting blurs. My eyes tried to figure it out, and I only wound up with a spinning head. The world was turning and I could feel it.

Bella set me back down.

"Ethan?" Carlisle said. "How's the head?"

"Large," I replied. I closed my eyes for a moment, ready to go back to that less painful place where I got to sleep through the healing process. But they wouldn't let me. Bella shook my arm.

"Ethan, stay with us. Ethan?"

My eyes fluttered open. "Yeah, I'm here. Can't a guy get some rest? It's been a long day."

Carlisle chuckled and came to kneel behind my head. I felt gentle probing fingers against my skull. My breath came in a hiss as he got too close to the sore spot.

"Well I think we could use a few scans back at the hospital. My eyes are good, but not _that _good. I'd like to take a look at what's going on inside. But the fact that you're awake and talking is an excellent sign."

"Oh goodie," I said. "My mom will love this."

"The only thing she will really care about is the fact that you're still alive," he said.

_Unlike some others. _

And then the grief came. It was a fierce thing – a stinging in my eyes and the sudden inability to talk. Gravity pulled, and the tears ran down my temples as I stared up at the cloudy sky.

_Gravity's a bitch. Right, Jeremy? _

Sure he was crazy, but he was still…someone.

"Ethan? Are you alright?" Carlisle asked. "Is it very painful?"

I coughed. "No. Not like that. I'm…I'm okay."

He nodded, somber. "We're going to have to get you to the car now. We're going to carry you, alright?"

"Sure," I said. "Whatever."

"Bella, can you take him? I'll stabilize his head…"

I couldn't see her, but I knew she hadn't left. "Of course."

They lifted me, a very weird sensation. There was no effort to the movement. It felt like I was floating. It was just me and the sky and Carlisle's cold hands on my neck. I heard a howling in the distance. A small chorus in mourning. He was still a brother after all.

And I would never be sorry enough.

* * *

**So there you have it. I know there are a few unanswered questions. (ZOMG. WHAT ABOUT JULES??!??!)**

**Last chapter and epilogue to come.**

**Thoughts? Comments? Motivational posters?**


	23. Chapter 23

**a/n: So I'm a big fat liar. And all y'all were right. We have a 23. Epilogue to come after this. I swear. **

**So we save the sadness for another day.**

**Thanks to AZBella and Bririzzle for betaing, they are wonderful. And also to Crysross for solving problems and listening to me whine. You help me procrastinate with the best of 'em, dearie. **

**Thanks to the t20s gals who save my life daily by being who they are. **

**Thanks to all who reviewed 22. It was epic and I'm still not over some of the comments. Made my month. **

**Thanks to the FB group for having the fun with Ethan, Jules, Aubree, and Will. **

**And there's now a thread on Twilighted for Canon. Please come by and say hello. :)**

**So here we go. Chapter the 23****rd. ****There is no cliffie, but there is definite cheese at the end of this. Credit goes to William Goldman and Stephenie Meyer for the borrowing of their words. (And characters.) **

**Today I am Team Bella.

* * *

**

Chapter 23

Evidently hospital stays garner a lot of attention. After the tests were over and the wounds were stitched, a nurse guided me down to my own room where I was ready to enjoy the peace and quiet of my depression. She was politely silent as she walked alongside my hovering bed, a redhead with her hair tied up in a bun and dark blue scrubs. I closed my eyes and just tried to feel the motion of the turns through the hospital. It wasn't long until my mother caught up with us, though, and she flailed her way down the hall behind me.

"Ethan, honey," Mom said as she reached the bedside. "I'm right here. Are you okay? Dr. Cullen said something about a bear and—"

I should have realized that the Cullens would have an alibi waiting for me. "Yeah, it was a bear…" I tilted my head as far as I could, which wasn't very far at all due to the duo of bandages and pain wrapped around my head. But I caught a tiny glimpse of Mom's face. She was flushed and bleary-eyed. I could see the leftovers of tears; her hair was rumpled.

"Next time you go out hiking, I want you to make sure you have someone _with _you." She gripped the bar at the side of the bed. "Ethan, do you have any idea what it's like to get a phone call saying your only son is currently in the _hospital _due to a _bear attack?_"

"Um. No…"

Her shoes clicked against the shiny white tile. "I can tell you it's not the easiest thing to live through. Dear God, Ethan, I've just been…"

I sighed. "I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't mean to—"

"No." She patted the side of the pillow. "No, of course you didn't mean to. I just…I just want to make sure you are safe. It's just not a good idea to go out into the woods alone."

If she only knew. "Of course. You're right."

The bed hooked a right, heading into a room. Once we were inside, it did a quarter-turn and made a loud metallic clicking noise as the bottom attached itself to the wall and settled into the foundation. Mom dragged a chair from the corner by the window and sat next to me.

"Is Dr. Cullen coming by?" she asked the nurse.

Evidently she was done talking to Ethan.

The redhead nodded. She typed something into the touch pad at the foot of the bed. "He said he would check in before he left for the evening." When she was finished with the touchpad, she walked over to a row of cabinets by the door. She pulled out a flat, blue square, about two feet by two feet. She tucked it under her arm and walked back over to the bed.

"Do you know what time that might be?" Mom asked.

"Hm…I would say within the hour," the nurse replied. She tugged the bottom of the sheets off the bed and rolled them up to my hips.

Hey, guess what? I was wearing a hospital gown.

I felt myself turning red as the nurse moved the edge of the gown up a little. "Um."

"Sorry," she said. "I have to put the tissue regenerator on."

I nodded. "Right. Great."

She wrapped the blue thing around my thigh, over the bruised and stitched part. There was a display at the top, and once she settled it across my leg, it lit up with a row of five green lights. They blinked slowly, one at a time. I focused all my attention on those little blinking lights, trying to ignore her fingers as she fastened the wrap.

Mom nodded. "Thank you."

"Just try not to move too much," the nurse said. "And if you need to use the restroom, please call one of us to help you. There's a button on the side of the bed."

"Of course," Mom replied for me.

"Oh, and I think a couple of his friends are waiting in the lobby. They've been here all afternoon and visiting hours are almost over. Would it be okay if they stopped in to say hi?"

Mom looked down at me. I wanted to tell her no, but that wasn't something I think she wanted to hear. The only question was: which friends were waiting? "Um. Sure."

"Of course," Mom said to the nurse. "Please let them know where we are."

The nurse nodded and left.

I tried to lean forward to pull the sheet down, but Mom stopped me. "Ethan, you can't move. The regenerator stops working when you do."

"I'm nearly half naked and just don't want my graduating class staring at my…"

"Oh," she replied. She tugged the sheet back over my legs just as there was a knock at the door. "Come in!"

Will walked in first with his hands in the air. "What the hell did you _do?" _And then, with a tip of an invisible hat to my mom, "Sorry for the swear, Mrs. P."

"That's okay…?" Mom said.

"Will," he replied. "Ethan's best friend. And confidant." He nodded solemnly.

I rolled my eyes.

Ava came in next, with a small bouquet of red carnations and a silver balloon that said "Get Well Soon" across the front in big blue letters. Nate followed after, holding hands with Charlotte.

Aubree was last. Alone. She hung at the back of the group and didn't offer any kind of greeting. We traded a tiny, sad smile.

Ava set the balloon by my bedside and reached across to hand the carnations to my mom. "Thought this might help a little," she said.

"That's very sweet of you, dear," Mom replied, taking the flowers.

"So I heard it was a bear," Will said. "A bear, E? Really?"

I pursed my lips and nodded.

"What kind?" Will asked.

"Um…black?"

He laughed. "And you survived. That's amazing. You're _amazing_, you know that?"

"Where was Jules during all this?" Nate asked. "Did she go with you?"

_Oh God. Jules…_

"No, her rail home was earlier…what time is it?" I asked, looking around the room for my phone. "Mom, where's my headset? Did it make it back here okay?"

"Oh, I don't know hon," she said. She reached up to her ear and pulled the little phone off. "You can borrow mine if you like, but maybe you should wait 'til your friends are gone. It's 8:15 and visiting hours end at 8:30. Then you can call your father—"

_Yeah, right. Like I'm going to call Dad. _"Mom, please, just one call."

She looked at me for a second before handing the headset over.

"Thank you." I snatched it out of her hand before she could change her mind and clipped it to my ear. Everyone stared as I talked to the phone, and I made myself ignore them all. This was more important. "Call voicemail."

"Calling Ethan Powell's voicemail," the phone replied. "You have one new message."

I sighed as Justin's voice came over the line. "Hey man, I heard you got a little beat up by the wildlife out there. Call me when you're awake and let me know you're okay, okay?"

_Jules. What about Jules?_

"Oh yeah…and Jules got in on time. Wouldn't say anything about the visit the whole way home. I think she was crying, but I couldn't tell for sure. She wouldn't look at me. What the hell happened? Call me."

I hit the button on the side of the phone to end the call.

She made it okay. She was home.

"_I think she was crying." _

_ Very well done, Ethan. _

"So, E, the details on the bear?" Will prompted.

"Um." I shook my head, trying to bring myself around. "I don't know, Will. It was a bear. What do you want to hear?"

Maybe he heard the question and knew to save me. Maybe it was coincidence. I will never know. But this was the exact moment that Dr. Cullen chose to walk in the room.

"How is the adventurous Mr. Powell tonight?" he asked.

Mom stood up. "Oh, Dr. Cullen, thank you so much!" She walked around to meet him at the foot of the bed. "I still can't believe how lucky we were that you were out hiking at the same spot…"

Dr. Cullen smiled. "Yes. Very lucky." He looked down at the touch screen on the end of the bed. He scrolled through a couple of panels and then looked up at me "You seem to be doing better. Any pain?"

"Just the head a little," I replied. "And Will over here."

The room laughed, even Will. "Well, the head should feel a lot better by the morning," Dr. Cullen said.

"Dr. Cullen, are you sure there was no fracture? And how does his—"

"You know Emma, why don't you and I go over his scans together so you can see for yourself? I'm certain we didn't miss anything, but if you want to look it over—"

"That would be wonderful," Mom replied. She reached down to pat my foot. "I'll be right back, okay? If you need something just call for the nurse."

I nodded.

Their conversation faded away as they walked out into the hall. "And please, call me Carlisle…"

As the door swung shut behind them, I let out a breath. "My mother is going to be the death of me."

The group chuckled. Ava came to sit on the foot of the bed. She patted the still-healthy leg. "So, how long do you think you'll be stuck in here?"

I shrugged. "They didn't say yet."

"Do you think you'll be okay for the dance?" she asked. The worry that crossed her face was too strong to ignore, perhaps more than really necessary for a school dance.

"I'm sure I'll be fine. Maybe not so much the best dancer, but that's not entirely due to the injury," I replied.

_"I think she was crying." _

I sighed.

"You okay, Ethan?" Ava asked. Her hands moved away from my leg and she looked at the blinking lights that were showing through the sheet. "Should we call the nurse?"

"I'm alright," I said. Or at least as alright as I could be… "Don't worry about it."

"I can't help it," she said.

The room went quiet. I heard someone shift their weight.

"Right, so…" Will said. "So he's down for the dance, but not the dancing. I say that's an excellent compromise."

"And this most definitely takes driving out of the equation, huh, Ethan?" Nate asked.

"Yeah. Sorry," I replied.

"Oh, that's okay," Nate said. "I knew it was a long shot to begin with."

The nurse peeked her head in the door. "Okay kids, you've got five minutes more. Visiting hours are just about over."

"Okay," Nate and Charlotte said together.

Will looked back at Aubree. "Um. We had that thing to go to, right?"

Charlotte piped in. "Yeah. That thing. Right, Aubree? We have to _go_."

"Whatever," Aubree replied.

"It's good to hear you didn't die," Will said. "We're gonna take off. Maybe I'll come over to keep you company sometime this week?" He looked over at Ava for a moment. "Or maybe not."

"Thanks for coming by," I said.

"Get better, okay?" Charlotte said.

"See you, man," Nate said.

"Bye, guys," I said. They started to filter out. Ava and Aubree hung back. Ava didn't even move to stand up. She glared over at Aubree who stood just by the door.

"I'm going, I'm going," Aubree said. "Just…I'm glad you're alright, Ethan. You know?"

I nodded. "I know. Thanks, Aubree."

She nodded. There was more there she wanted to say, but it just wasn't the time for it. She pushed open the door and stepped out to the hall.

And then it was just Ava and I.

"You don't have some previous engagement?" I asked.

She smiled. "They just…wanted to give us a couple minutes alone. They're nice like that."

"Oh."

The lights under the sheet flickered.

"So…" she said. "How are you feeling? Truthfully."

"Truthfully?" I sighed. "Pretty crappy."

"Oh, Ethan," she said, shaking her head. "I can't believe this happened. I heard you were in the hospital and I just…I flipped out."

_I wonder if Jules heard._

_ I wonder if she would even care. _

"I'm okay though, you know that, right?" I said.

"Aubree spent the afternoon at Will's. We've been having a fight, so I really didn't want her around, anyway. But she came tearing in the door and said you were down here and I...I...I just—"

"Shh…" I reached over to pat her hand. "Ava, it's okay. I'm okay."

She nodded and wiped a tear that was running down her cheek. "I know. I'm just…its been a rough weekend."

"Yes, it has," I said.

"And…" She looked down at her lap. "And Jules is…back in Polson?"

I nodded. "Yep."

"She's probably a little worried about you by now. Have you talked to her at all since you woke up?"

"Um. No. I…I'm sure my mom talked to her parents." _Or something else more truthful. Whatever. _

She nodded. "That's good."

"Yeah," I said.

"Did she have a good time out here? Do you think she might…visit again?"

I shook my head. "I think she has had enough of Forks for the year." _And me. _

Ava adjusted the turn of her skirt. It was pink. "Right. Well, I'm glad I got to meet her."

"Yeah. Me too."

The nurse came back. She walked to the end of the bed again and scrolled through the info on the touch screen. "Sorry hon, but I have to kick you out," she said. She looked up at Ava. "But you're welcome to come back again tomorrow."

Ava nodded. "Thank you." She squeezed my hand. "I'll be by if you're still here. If that's okay with you."

"Um. Sure."

She gave a weak smile. "Get better, okay?"

"I'm working on it."

And with that she stood up. She walked to the door and gave me one last look over her shoulder before she left. "Bye."

"Bye."

The nurse checked on the regenerator, and whatever the little lights told her must have been a good thing, because she smiled. When she had replaced the sheet again, she looked up at me. "Your girlfriend seems nice."

"She's not my—" I started, and then sighed. "Yeah. She is."

***

It was three in the morning. My mom was curled up on the little window seat, because the cushion there was thicker than the one on the chair, and she had a little more room to stretch out. She snored quietly with one arm tucked under her head, leaning against the glass, and the other wrapped around her knees.

It was kind of ridiculous, actually. Here I was, completely unable to sleep, wasting this giant bed. And there she was, probably unable to keep herself awake, using a windowpane for a pillow.

The day had gone very slowly, and at every turn of the hour I wished everyone would just leave me alone. Mom made me call Dad and that conversation was too long. He tried to convince me to go back to Polson again, even through he knew Mom was sitting right next to me. His argument: the bears around there don't bother anyone. But it was the wrong argument, not that he could tell me how many werewolves lived there even if he knew.

He ended the conversation with the promise that he would keep my friends informed of what was going on with me. Not the promise to come up and see me in the hospital, but I was okay with that.

I was left with the question of what Jules would do when she found out. Or what she was doing now, if she already knew. I had messed so much up between us, I couldn't imagine she would come up either, but maybe the sympathy would drive her to at least call. And when she did, I could beg my way back to at least a friendship. Even if I knew it wouldn't be enough. Even if I could never have my chance with her again. I had to try, right?

But only if she called. I wouldn't bother her if she didn't want it.

_"I think she was crying."_

That didn't necessarily mean I couldn't call Justin, however. As my mom ducked out to get herself some dinner from the cafeteria, I rang him from her phone.

"Ethan!" he said. "A bear?"

I was going to get the same question all week, wasn't I? "Yeah. A bear. Listen…how is she?"

"Dunno," he replied. "Won't answer the phone. She's not online. I'm gonna see her tomorrow at school, though. I'm tired of living in this mystery, man. What the hell is going on? Do you really expect me to wait for her to tell me about all this?"

"Yes. I do," I said. "Sorry."

"Okay…"

"Call me tomorrow after school? Just ease my mind. Tell me I didn't ruin her. Tell me she bounced back and is the same undefeatable girl we all know and love. Are you planning on visiting her at all tonight? Because I really don't think I'm going to bed anytime soon—"

"No. She said to leave her alone. I'm honoring that much."

I let that roll around in my head for a minute. "That's…good. You're right to."

He was silent.

"Well, if you want to call tomorrow, please do. I'll take whatever info you've got, and yes, I'm aware how desperate I sound. But I'm in a hospital, so have some pity."

He chuckled. "Alright, man. Get better."

"Thanks."

When Mom got back, she stayed by my bed the entire evening. She said she was happy with the work Dr. Cullen had done, that he was the best she'd ever seen in her career. High praise indeed. She spent her night telling me to eat the horrible hospital food and making sure I didn't move my leg. Or move anything else for that matter. I was getting so stir-crazy that I almost got up out of the bed when she went to the bathroom. But my leg protested the movement and I had to settle for screaming into a pillow.

When she finally fell asleep, I thought I would feel better. I was alone, a_t last._ I could spend time sulking. I could berate myself for all the horrible things I had done. I could mourn a lost friend.

I'm not so macho that I can't admit that I cried a little. I turned my head towards the cabinets and let a few tears quietly escape down the side of my face, all but invisible in the dark.

And when the grief petered out, I was left with insomnia. And guilt. Every time I closed my eyes I saw Jeremy's face twisted in rage, his skin boiling, the explosion of fur and clothes, and the spring for my neck. I wasn't sure I really wanted to be alone anymore. The hours rolled on and I listened to my mom sleep, trying not to focus on the moment an ally had become an enemy.

So this was how things were at three in the morning, as an unexpected visitor came to talk to me. The door cracked open and a head peeked in, hair falling in light curls. My eyes tried to adjust, but she was only a silhouette against the strong light in the hallway.

"Hey." It was Bella's voice, whispering. "Can I come in?"

"Um," I replied quietly. I wiped my eyes and tried to shift myself to a more seated position. "Yeah. Sure."

Bella walked around to take the chair by the bed. She looked far too comfortable in the room, where she was most definitely not supposed to be so late at night.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Visiting you," she replied with a soft laugh.

"But…how did you know I would be awake?"

She shrugged. "Your breathing was pretty irregular, so it didn't seem likely you were sleeping."

"Ah." I nodded. "Yeah. I'm having a bit of a hard time getting to sleep tonight, it seems."

She put a hand on the sheet just beside me. "Ethan, I just wanted to let you know just how much we appreciate everything you did for us. I really can't tell you how much it's meant."

I nodded. "I'm glad I was able to help. I just wish…"

As the thought died away she said, "Yeah. Me too."

There was a silence. Mom snored. My throat choked up again and I had to cough to clear it.

"And I wish it made sense to me," I said. "I wish I understood better why it happened the way it did. I mean…_why _did he have to be the way he was?"

She shook her head. "We puzzled over that ourselves. Obviously he had the lineage, but it has to be triggered by our kind to actually kick in. We don't think we were the reason he turned; he lived too far away. But we're not the only ones who live in Washington. It's in the north, it rains a lot, it's convenient."

"Because the sun would kill you?"

She chuckled. "No, but we make kind of a spectacle in the sunlight. It's something better seen than described."

"Um. Okay…" I ran through the scene in my mind and tried to think of something else to ask, something to keep the conversation going. I didn't want to be left alone again just then. "Um…what was in the syringes? I mean…"

"He stole some tranquilizers from the hospital. Those were the majority of them. To keep them from leaving. To keep them quiet and weak. The one he was going to use on Jake though – that was something else entirely."

"Poison?" I asked.

"Kind of," she said. "It was venom, from a vampire he had killed. It's like poison for werewolves."

"Oh," I said with a sigh. "I still wish…"

_And if wishes were horses…_

"I know. I do too. We all do." she said. "Jake wants to go find his family, what's left of it. They're our family too. So we'll probably head there on our way out."

"You're leaving?" The question sounded a little more desperate than I intended. "I mean, of course you're leaving, you wouldn't stay here forever. Even though you probably could. But…when?"

"In a week or two. We're still deciding on a city, but we know it's time we found anonymity again. There are just too many eyes turned our way here, and too many smart high school students." She winked. "But I'm sure we'll come back again someday."

"I'll be gone by then, won't I?"

A grim smile. "Yes. Probably."

"That's kind of weird to think about," I said.

"Then let's think about something else. So…trouble sleeping. Hm…" She looked around the room and then settled back to me with a smile. "What about a bedtime story?"

"Ha. Very funny," I replied.

"I'm serious. I used to love bedtime stories when I was a kid, but I always fell asleep before the end. So they must have been very effective."

I chuckled, probably the first sign of laughter all day. "And what kind of story did you have in mind? Does it have any action in it?"

The smile grew wider. "Are you kidding? Fighting, torture, revenge, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...

"It's kind of long, if that's okay."

I managed a smile. "I don't mind. I've got time."

"This story starts in some very nice weather, in a place far away from here. At the bottom of it all, I consider it a tale of homecoming. It all started my junior year of high school." She looked out the window at the blank black of the night sky and took a breath. A soft, unnecessary breath. "My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. It was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix, the sky a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite shirt – sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on was a parka."

She chuckled, and I waited for her to continue.

When she turned back, the leftover smile was a private joke between the two of us. "In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this inconsequential town more than any other place in the United States of America…"

* * *

**Yes I am a cheese factory. It's my favorite food. What's yours? **


	24. Epilogue

**a/n: I know. I'm late. Late on the last. I'm sorry. **

**So this is it, my friends. I want to htak you all for giving my crazy little story a chance. It's been a wild rid and I've love talking with al of you along the way. **

**I hope you join us with Grace Note as it is turning now to a sequel of sorts. Kind of. Not really. Maybe? I don't know. **

**Don't want to run on too long. I'll save my thankings for the end; I have a lot this time. I'll try not to cry too much if you promise to do the same. **

**And today I am Team Ava. **

**(All together now: NOOOOOOOO!!!)

* * *

**

Epilogue

Ethan Powell

February 14, 2149

The dance was…not horrible. After living through all the drama and possible death, I couldn't find a reason to loathe the idea of spending a couple hours in a suit on Ava's arm. At least I had made it out of the campsite, even if I wasn't unscathed. At least the family was whole again. At least I was alive.

Not to mention the dance turned out to be the least of my fears on that particular day.

Confused? I don't blame you. Let us rewind.

I was released from the hospital on Wednesday, and though Dr. Cullen said I was fit for active duty at school, my mother still managed to decide I was handicapped. Possibly for life. And if she wanted to think that and let me stay home for the rest of the week, who was I to stop her? I wasn't much in the mood for being social anyway.

Ava came to visit on Thursday after school. We talked about the rumors running around campus about my escape from death, the recent absence of the family Cullen, and just how excited she was about the dance. (Saw that one coming, didn't you?)

You may ask: What of Jules? Well, my only answer would come in the form of advice given by the one and only Will Yorkie. He said it to Aubree, over a lunch that seems like an eternity ago.

"You have to live in the now, darling. Because everywhere else doesn't really exist."

So that's what I was doing: living in the now. Jules would always be my past, and maybe someday a part of my future, but I couldn't really live my whole life in a dream of what was to come in college. For all I knew, I would get to UMT and she would want nothing to do with me. I wouldn't blame her. That would be fair. And I wasn't going to break my promise to myself that I wouldn't call her begging.

Though that didn't mean I wasn't wishing _she_ would call. Every. Single. Hour.

On Friday I received a phone call from someone I was hoping I wouldn't hear from.

"Will Yorkie calling," the phone said. It was brand new. A homecoming gift from Mom, as if I deserved such things.

I was sitting on my bed, staring at the ceiling and ignoring the auto-homework alert on my notebook that seemed to be going off every other minute. I reached up to the side of the phone to answer.

"What do you want, Will?" I asked.

"Aaaaaaaaaggggghhhhh!" Even the volume control had trouble toning him down. "I love you!"

I wasn't entirely sure why he loved me, but this was Will, after all, so it could have been a number of things. "Um. Thanks? Though I have to tell you, I prefer girls…"

"No, not like that. I mean you're my hero. I don't know how you pulled it off. But don't deny it was you. I _know_ it was you."

I had no idea what he was talking about.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," I said.

"The after-party. The invite. C'mon, E, don't play dumb. It doesn't suit you."

"Seriously, Will. What invite?"

"You mean it wasn't you? I still don't believe. And you have to be invited. Have you checked your mail recently?"

"Of course. I have my notebook open on my desk and—"

"No. Paper mail."

Well. No. Who gets paper mail? It was for formal things. "I haven't. I just…"

"Ethan!" Mom called up the stairs. "I'm home! Did you see the registered letter?"

"I'll be down in a—"

"No! I'll come up!" she said.

Back to Will, I said, "My mom's home. I'll…call you back later."

"You bet your ass you will. I give you ten minutes."

I rolled my eyes. "Bye."

"Later."

Mom's footsteps seemed to suggest she was in some sort of a hurry. I wasn't sure how the mail could make her want to be in my room point five seconds faster than she would have usually been there, but the pace of the creaking floorboards seemed to suggest I was wrong.

"Ethan, I'm just so proud of you," she said as she walked in the room. She was holding two envelopes in her hand, one white one, manila-sized, already opened but with the contents replaced; and a small black square-ish looking one. She tossed the black one on the desk and came to sit on the foot of my bed. Her grin was blinding.

"I didn't even know you had applied for any scholarships," she said.

And now…I had no idea what _she _was talking about.

"What are you—"

"And while I wasn't _worried_ about college, this is just really amazing. More of an honor than anything else. It's just so wonderful that they chose _you_—"

"Mom. Slow down. What's going on?"

"Your scholarship." She handed the white envelope over to me. I should have been angry that she had opened it already, a federal crime and all that, but it was addressed to me in care of her. There was gold embossed print in the return address corner that simply read: _The Pacific Northwest Trust_. "You were their choice."

I shook my head. "I never applied for any scholarship." I pulled the papers out and spread them across my lap. There was a form to fill out and sign that was a couple pages long, a return envelope already stamped and addressed to a PO box in Seattle, and a letter.

_Dear Ethan, _it read.

_Allow me to formally congratulate you on being awarded the Pacific Northwest Trust's prestigious J. Nicholls Scholarship. This scholarship is awarded infrequently, and you should feel proud to know that the Allocations Committee picked your name unanimously for the honor._

_The scholarship is not limited to any school and does not have an expiration date. Wherever you choose to matriculate, at whatever date, the Pacific Northwest Trust will be there to foot the bill. Just fill out the form upon acceptance and we will take care of the rest. _

_Once again I congratulate you on your accomplishment. Please accept the best wishes of the entire Pacific Northwest Corporation for your future scholastic career. _

_Sincerely, _

_I. Randall_

I was a little dumbstruck.

Mom laughed. "Say something!"

"I never applied for any scholarship," I replied.

She patted my foot. "I heard that part already. Maybe it was something you did at school? Maybe they chose you for some project you did well? Did one of your teachers mention submitting your name at all?"

_Yeah, right. Maybe it was Mr. Barrett, because he was very impressed with my level of dedication to my government homework._

I shook my head.

"Well, obviously _someone_ thinks you're a pretty special guy, and I have to agree with him." She started to gather the papers into a pile. "I'm going to file these for safe-keeping. I think I'll try to give their office a call just to make sure they know we got the letter and…" She stood up, stuffing the papers back into the envelope. "I'll bring your dinner up when it's ready."

"Mom. I can _walk." _

"Just…" She tucked the envelope under her arm. "Fine. But I'll be up to help you down the stairs."

This was going to have to be the compromise. "Fine."

"Congratulations, Ethan." The loud grin returned. "I really am proud of you."

"Thanks, Mom."

She headed back downstairs, humming to herself.

After a few quiet moments, my eyes fell back on the black square envelope that was sitting on the corner of the desk. She had neglected to mention what that piece of mail was about, or maybe she didn't know. Or didn't care.

I slowly swung my legs around to dangle off the bed and took a breath. While what I told my mom was true – I _could_ walk – it wasn't completely without pain. The tissue regenerator had patched up the muscles quite nicely, but they were very new now and not used to all the work. And there was the matter of the bruises. Still had lots of those.

I pushed off of the bed with my hands and exhaled in a hiss. In those first moments of standing, I always rationalized with myself that my mom was right to keep me home. Limping around campus would have done horrible things to my ego.

And then I would start walking, as I did this time, and I would think, _You are such a baby. _

Little twinges of pain shot through my thigh as I made my way to the desk. The envelope that waited was a perfect square, five inches by five inches of stiff black paper. There was no address, just my name in silver script in the middle. I picked it up and took it back to the bed so I could sit down again.

After I settled myself against the headboard, I turned the envelope in my hands for a moment, watching the words sparkle in the dim light of the room.

I turned it over and lifted the flap. The card inside was the same heavy black paper, with sparkling ink that seemed to hover just over the surface. Little animated sprays of confetti went off on either side of the text.

It read:

_You are cordially invited_

_To attend a party at the Cullen residence _

_Immediately following the Forks High School Valentine's Dance_

_Rail Stop 97_

And then, as if he knew, the phone in my ear spoke, "Will Yorkie calling."

My ten minutes were up.

***

My mom volunteered to drive Ava and I to the dance and I agreed, as the alternative was probably Ava's father. I would do anything to avoid that. When we pulled up to the house, Will was already there on the porch, posing for a picture with Aubree. It wasn't the horribly strange outfit I was expecting. He wore a pair of black dress pants, a blue plaid vest, and a black tie. Maybe Aubree reined him in a little. He did have a hat, though: a black bowler. Perhaps to help with the bizarre hair situation. All in all, pretty tame.

And then he turned to pin on Aubree's corsage, and my opinion changed.

There was a giant sparkling "W" on the back of the vest.

I heard Aubree shout into the house as I stepped out of the car. Twinges and stiffness aside, I wasn't going to let my mom help me up the driveway. So I put on a happy, pain-free smile and walked around the car. Ava was just coming out the front door, and she waved with a big grin on her face. The dress she wore was light blue with little ruffles around her shoulders and a smattering of beads that were catching what little light we had.

At least it wasn't raining.

"Ethan!" Mom said as she stepped out of the car. "You forgot the corsage!"

She caught up to me and handed over the little cardboard box.

"Um. Thanks," I said. Mom fell into step beside me but didn't offer an embarrassing arm as we walked up the driveway.

"Ethan!" Ava shouted. Her dad stepped outside behind her, holding a white jacket. He waved. I waved back and then had the awkward realization that he wasn't waving at me.

"Mrs. Powell," Mr. Parson said; he walked down to the driveway and extended a hand. "It's nice to meet you." Ava was two steps behind him and came to stand in front of me, next to her father.

Mom sighed but took the hand anyway. "It's Ms. now, actually. Ms. Lebeouf."

I gripped the little box and it made a crinkling noise.

"Oh, sorry," he replied with a slight frown.

"That's okay. You didn't know. Nobody knows. It's gonna take a while."

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you," he said. "Your son seems to have become quite a household name around here."

"And your daughter seems like a wonderful girl," Mom said.

"She is, she is," he replied, wrapping one arm around Ava's shoulders. He gave me a sideways glance. "And your boy is…well dressed."

"Doesn't he look nice?" Mom asked. She brushed off my arm. "Jules did well."

And…there it was.

Ava wasn't going to let it linger long. "Alright. Well, we better go," she said, ducking from her father's arm. "Daddy? My jacket?"

He huffed. "Oh. Right." He opened the white coat and she stepped into it. "Your mother is going to want a picture." He turned to the porch. "Helen, why don't you get one of Ava now?"

Ava's mom smiled and nodded; her hair was up in a ponytail like Ava usually wore. She gestured for the two of us to stand together. Mom stepped out of the way and Ava took her spot by my side.

"You do look nice, Ethan," she said.

I cleared my throat. "Thanks."

"I think we're supposed to be smiling," she said.

"Right." I turned to face Ava's mom with the biggest smile I could muster. It wasn't much.

"The corsage, Ethan!" Mom hissed.

"Oh. Um. This is for you," I said, looking down at the little crumpled box.

She blushed. "Thanks."

I lifted the lid and thankfully the flower inside was still okay. I think it was an orchid. She pulled it out of the box. "It's beautiful."

"Um. Do I? Or do you…?" I stammered.

She smiled. "You can help if you want."

_If I want. Right. _I took the flower, trying only not to crush it as I held it. I pulled on the little strap and Ava slipped her hand through the loop. It survived, but I was glad it wasn't my responsibility anymore.

"Let's do one more, all four of you," Mrs. Parson said.

Will put one hand on the railing and hopped over it to the driveway. Aubree rolled her eyes and walked down the stairs.

"E. You look dashing," Will said. "Simply dashing."

"Thanks, Will. You look—"

"Like a king, you can say it," Will said.

Aubree hooked her arm in his and turned him to face Mrs. Parson, who was holding the waiting camera. "He's dressed. That's all we can really be thankful for."

We laughed and the flash went off, a sudden daylight in the winter twilight.

***

As I said before, the dance wasn't horrible. I watched the actual dance part of the evening from our table. The student body of Forks High dressed to the nines, turning in bright colors to the dulcet tones of bands like Spare Hearts, The Heartbeat Boys, Heart in Your Hand...well, pretty much just lots of bands with the word "heart" in their names. Ava wasn't stuck in the seat next to me all night, thankfully. Will and Nate both asked her out to dance a couple times.

The Cullens didn't attend the dance, but even without the constant reminder, Will wasn't able to focus on much else but the after-party. He kept asking me what time it was and what time I thought would be appropriate for us to duck out. I told him I had no previous experience to give him a frame of reference for appropriate ducking-out times. Sorry.

I figured it didn't really matter when we left. Alice would probably know we were coming.

At 10:00 he convinced us, and we stepped out of the side entrance of the gym into the very cold night air. The girls giggled and linked arms, running to the rail stop. Their dresses billowed in the wind as they ran. Will was not far behind them; his "W" glinted in the lights of the gym.

Nate and I took up the rear. He slowed his step to keep in time with mine. "I never expected to be on my way to where we're going now."

"I never expected to live outside Lake County," I replied. "Things change."

"This is a big deal, Ethan," he said. "Do you know if they invited anyone else from the school? They had to, right?"

I shrugged.

"And why us? I mean…I know you're friends with Bella, but why me? And Char? And Will? Do you think they realize the torture they have unleashed upon themselves?"

I shrugged again. "I don't claim to fathom what any of the Cullens do. They are creatures beyond my scope of understanding."

He barked a laugh. "That's true enough."

Will skipped in a circle around the bench as the girls sat down to wait. He was holding his invitation in his hand. We had tried to convince him the he probably didn't need it to get in, but he refused to give it up.

"I heard a rumor they're leaving," Nate said. "My mom said Dr. Cullen was offered some job back East."

"So maybe it's a going away party?" I asked.

"Maybe. If it's true, it's going to be weird here without them." We reached the bench and I leaned against the back, trying to get the weight off my bad leg. "I mean, who are we going to talk about now?"

"Maybe we can talk about ourselves for a change," Aubree said.

***

The long rail ride was made longer by Will's incessant questions. He asked me if his clothes were okay, as if that was something he could change. He asked me how late I thought the party would go, as if I had ever even _been_ to an after-party before. He asked me what Renesmee's favorite color was, so he would have something to talk to her about, as if I knew…

Well, you get the idea.

When we got off at 97, there were cars waiting. I had hoped it would be Emmett who would drive us, but we were among friends and the charade had to be kept. So Dr. and Mrs. Cullen chauffeured us to the house front. Will was pleasantly silent through the whole drive.

When we got out of the car, I was the first to the front door. I expected them all to accompany me or even run ahead because I was too slow, but they remained silent in the background. Dr. Cullen opened the front door for the Missus and waited for us. I turned around to see what the hold up was.

"You guys? We gonna do this?" I asked. They were staring at the house with gaping mouths, each waiting for the other to take the first step forward. Aubree didn't seem to care; she stood next to Ava, watching them with a little smile. "'Cause we could just go home—"

"No!" Will jumped forward from the line. "No. We're coming, right guys?" He didn't wait for a response. "Of course we are. We just needed a moment. C'mon." He offered his arm to Aubree and she took it. They walked up the stairs and paused for a moment at the door. Will took off his hat.

"Dr. Cullen," he said with a deep bow. "Thank you for inviting us to your lovely home."

Dr. Cullen's smile seemed to suggest he was trying not to laugh. "You're welcome, Mr. Yorkie."

_At least I wasn't the only one who had that idea. Though the fact that I have something in common with _Will_ just—_

Ava took my hand. "This should be…interesting."

My thoughts exactly.

The living room wasn't all white and sunlit anymore. The lights were dimmed; a rock song drifted in from somewhere outside. There were flickering candles and dishes of tiny food scattered on almost every flat surface. Laughter mingled in with the music, coming from the couches in the living room. It was a much better atmosphere than the last time I had come to pay a visit.

"It's _exactly_ how I imagined it would be," Will whispered. "I can't believe it."

Bella walked up to meet us at the door. She was also wearing a blue dress, though hers was a deeper color than Ava's and had no embellishments. Her hair was pulled back on top, with the little waterfall of curls pouring out around her face.

"Welcome," she said. "So glad you guys could make it."

As if she didn't know we were coming.

"Thanks for inviting us," I said. "Lovely home."

"Thanks, Ethan. And you must be Ava, right?"

Ava nodded. "It was really nice of you to invite us over."

Bella smiled, and for the first time I realized: no, there were no fangs. "Well, please help yourself to anything to eat. There are some drinks in the kitchen as well." She pointed off to the left. We nodded and thanked her again and walked into the living room. I heard her greet Nate and Charlotte behind us as we went to find Will.

He was in his element, already with a champagne glass in one hand (most certainly _not_ filled with champagne…I hope) and some kind of tiny food in the other. He was laughing along to something Logan had said, and I was so very glad we were not the only guests. Trip and Jonah were there as well, sitting on the couch.

"…and then I told him he had to get his nose out of my shoes!" Will said. The room burst into laughter along with him. He popped the little round cheese or whatever it was into his mouth. "Right? Right?"

"Hey, Ethan," Logan said. "How you holding up? Heard you were in the hospital."

"This man is amazing," Will said. He put his hand on my shoulder. "He survived a bear attack. A _bear attack_."

The smile fell from Logan's face. "Yeah. I heard. You healing up alright?"

"I'll be right as rain in no time," I replied.

"I think now is a good time for us to hear the story, E," Will said. "Did he just come at you all claws and teeth? Did you play dead? How did you survive, anyhow?"

"Um," I said. "I don't know if I remember it very well…"

"Sure you do!" Will said. "C'mon, E, tell us the tale! Tell us the tale!"

There was no way I was going to make up a bear survival story at this point in the evening. I looked down to Ava. "You want something to drink?"

"Sure," she replied. She took the empty chair across from the sofa. "So, Will," she said. "What about the time you saw Bigfoot when we were out camping?"

Will took the bait and left me alone. "Oh, you guys, you should have been there…"

I walked back towards the front door, heading for the kitchen. The dull roar of the party faded away. Just on the other side of the entryway was a glossy black grand piano on a raised portion of the floor. I stopped for a moment and ran my fingers across the keys.

"Do you play?" a voice from behind me asked. It was Edward, in a black suit that made mine look like secondhand formal wear. Oh wait. It was.

"I know one song." I sat down at the bench and cracked my knuckles. I cleared my throat and rested my hands on the keys, taking a deep breath.

And then I proceeded to plink out a very rusty version of _Frère Jacques_. Edward chuckled.

After the first run, I let it die off with a melancholy chord that didn't really resolve.

"Not bad," Edward said. "Though you know that song is meant to be done in canon, right?"

"Yeah, I know," I replied. Jules taught it to me one summer so she wouldn't be so bored during her enforced piano practice. It didn't sound the same without her. I sighed. "Hey, because I'm sure Will's going to ask me about it later, where is Renesmee?"

Edward's face fell. "She and Jacob will be by later tonight. They've been having a…second honeymoon of sorts."

"Oh. Um." _Poor Edward. _

"Exactly," he said.

I need to change the subject, for his sake. "So the rumor is you're leaving."

He nodded. "Monday."

"I bet you'll be glad to get out of this damn town."

"This place is never easy, that's for sure. It seems like every time we come here disaster strikes."

"Why come back at all?" I asked. "Seems like somewhere to avoid."

His answering smile was small. He looked off towards the kitchen. "This place was also witness to the greatest things that ever happened to me. How can I avoid the place where all my dreams came true? Even the ones I didn't know I had."

It didn't take a genius to know what he was looking at. Or who, rather.

I smiled. "I can understand that."

"You know what's really funny?" he asked.

"What?"

He chuckled. "You remind me of her."

"Um."

"Don't worry, I don't mean it in any way but that you too are too smart for your own good."

"Alright," I said.

"Ava's wondering where you are," he said. "You should get back to her. With water. She just wants a water."

"Right, thanks." I stood from the bench and turned to the kitchen again. I took a couple steps towards the open doorway. I could see Bella and Alice by the sink, talking.

"Oh, and Ethan?" Edward said.

"Yeah?"

"Just hear her out, okay?"

_Um...what?_ "Okay."

"Trust me."

I nodded and walked off to the kitchen. Alice and Bella grew quiet as I stepped in the room; both of them smiled, little knowing grins. Alice giggled.

"Water, right, Ethan?" Bella said, handing me a bottle. "And did you want something for yourself?"

"Um. Water too, I guess."

Why did it feel like everyone was in on some kind of practical joke, plotting against me?

Alice handed me another bottle and then wrapped her arms around my waist in a very awkward hug. "I'll miss you, Ethan."

We didn't really know each other very well. Why would she even care? "Um. Miss you too?"

Bella laughed.

Alice backed away quickly, letting her arms drop to her side. "Now hurry up, Ava's waiting for you and you have exactly 23 minutes."

_23 minutes until…? _I opened my mouth to ask her what the hell she was talking about, but she turned me around by my shoulders and gave me a light shove out of the room. I walked out to the entryway again, a water bottle in each hand, throwing questioning glances back to Bella and Alice. They only smiled and watched me make my way to the living room.

Ava wasn't sitting with the crowd anymore. She stood, a couple yards away from the chatting, staring out the back glass wall. I went to stand beside her and handed her the bottle. Her eyes didn't leave the scene outside, so I followed her gaze to see Aubree's little figure walking down the long sloping grass hill. She was headed for the line of trees.

"What is she doing?" I asked.

"She's facing her fears," Ava said. "It's about damn time. I just hope…" She sighed.

"Is it really okay that she's out there by herself?" I asked. The darkness coupled with Aubree's black dress made her all but invisible. Just a little flash of blonde now, bobbing in the distance as she picked up her pace.

"She'll be fine," Ava said. "Which is probably more than I can say for myself."

"Ava? Is something wrong?" I asked.

She gave a weak smile. "Ethan, I had a very good time tonight."

"That's good," I said. "I'm glad."

"And I appreciate all that you did to make that happen, really." She opened her bottle of water and took a long drink. The weak smile returned; she looked almost nervous. She blushed.

And then I realized…she was working her way up to a kiss. I could feel it.

You may ask, "So what? She's kissed you before, Ethan." This is truth. But I had somehow avoided kissing her since the hospital. We hadn't even come close, and part of me just felt wrong about it now. It was one thing to pine after one girl and take another to a dance. But it seemed mean somehow to go ahead and kiss Ava when I was wishing she were someone else entirely.

Now I had to face that particular fear.

She bit her lip. The blush grew stronger. "The thing is…the thing is…"

_Don't move an inch. Don't get any closer. Don't give her any idea that…_

She took a deep breath. "The thing is I know you don't feel the same way as I do. And I tried to tell myself it was just a matter of time, that we just had to get to know each other better and…and we would be the third couple in no time. We did alright for a while, didn't we?"

She stepped a little closer to me. I kept as still as I could and was seriously considering a step backwards, but that seemed a little offensive. I was preparing myself for the awkward conversation I should have had with her a long time ago. The age-old excuse "It's not you, its me" floated through my subconscious. She put a hand on the glass and it fogged under her palm.

Her gaze was still out at the forest. "…but then she came to visit and I _knew. _Aubree tried to be nice about it, and I was just so mean to her. But she was right. You're in love with Jules, and I'm just fooling myself."

"Ava, I think you're really nice and all but—"

_Wait. _

_ Go back. _

_ What did she say? _

"What did you say?" I asked.

She looked down at her feet and then back up to me. "You're in love with her…aren't you?"

_Um. Um. Um. _

"What?"

She shook her head, laughing. "Ethan, you can be so dense sometimes."

I was…

Was I?

No. Couldn't be.

_ Could it? _

"You're not going to make me say it again, are you? Because that's just kind of mean."

I shook my head. My eyes were flitting around the room, not really seeing anything. "I just…I'm just…I don't know. I just didn't know. I didn't _know._"

The words bounced around in my head, ricocheting off every memory I had with Jules. It was my whole life. She had always been there, and suddenly the sadness of having her _not there_ took on a whole different meaning. Yes, I was sad because it was Jules, my best friend. But more than that, I was sad because her absence from my life meant I was missing the girl I loved.

I loved her.

I loved Jules.

"I—um—I…" My eyes found focus on Ava's face. She had a couple tears escaping down her cheeks. She wiped them quickly.

"We can still be friends though, right?" she asked.

I nodded violently. "Of course. Ava, you were my first friend here. I couldn't ever give that up."

"Good. Now, as your friend, I have only one question," she said. "What are you still doing standing here?"

"Hm?"

"There's a rail east in about…" she looked off to the clock that hung on the far wall of the living room. "Fifteen minutes."

It took me a minute to realize what she was saying. "Oh, I couldn't just—"

"Ethan, I have my sister. I have my best friend. I have a bottle of water. Go."

"But—"

"Go."

_I love _Jules_? I_ love_ Jules? _I_ love Jules? _

"Right. Okay." I sighed. "Thank you."

She nodded. I turned towards the living room, giving one last look at the scene around me. Will was still laughing with Logan; Nate and Charlotte had joined them. Aubree was still out on her adventure, wherever she was. Alice and Bella stood at the entry to the kitchen, smiling back at me.

They knew the whole time.

Of course they did.

Alice flicked her fingers towards the door in little shooing motions. I nodded at her and headed for the way out. I still felt guilty for leaving Ava, but I had done worse by others.

_I love Jules._

Edward went to stand beside Bella. He took her hand and smiled.

_Goodbye. Hope you do well…wherever it is you're going. _

I looked back at them from the front door. Edward nodded.

"Wish me luck," I murmured.

Alice winked.

And I stepped out the front entryway to see a car waiting with the engine running. It was the sleek red one I hadn't been able to get started. The top was down and Emmett sat in the driver's seat.

"I didn't think Rose would mind," he said.

"I don't have a lot of time, I'm going to—"

"I know. Alice told me," Emmett said. "Hop in."

I took the stairs two at a time, ignoring the pain in my leg as I went faster than it wanted to go. When I got to the passenger side, I opted to use the door rather than try to jump over it. I had only just shut the door behind me when he stepped on the gas. We peeled out and shot down the long dirt road.

***

We pulled up to the interstate rail station with about five minutes to spare. I was afraid I wasn't going to make it, as I still had to buy a ticket. I hoped my mother would understand the expense. I was going to have to figure out a way to explain the whole thing without it being completely embarrassing or ending up grounded for a month. She would understand, right? She had to.

I climbed out of the car and turned back to Emmett for only a second. "Thank you, man. You don't know how much I appreciate this."

"No problem. The least we could do," he said. "Have a good ride."

"Thanks." I turned for the station.

"Oh, and Alice says check your pockets!" he called as I was already halfway up the steps. I turned and waved back to let him know I had heard, but I kept my pace up.

As I walked into the station, I put my hands into my pockets. In the left was a small plastic card that I pulled out to examine as I headed for the ticket counter.

It was one ticket to points east.

I shook my head and chuckled. I should have known.

I skipped the ticket counter and jogged around to the entrance to the platform. I flashed the card at the screen and the gate buzzed to let me in. The rail was just pulling into the station.

I wouldn't have made it.

The doors opened and a handful of people got off. Even less were there to get on; aside from me there were only an elderly woman and her son, as well as two kids in formal wear. I guess I wasn't the only one ditching out on the evening's festivities.

I took a seat at the back out of habit, wanting nothing but to be alone to worry. My knee bounced up and down and I rapped my fingers against the glass of the window.

Did Jules know how I felt?

More importantly, did she feel the same way?

_Oh dear God. _

She probably didn't. I was probably going to make a fool of myself. I was going to travel the 666 miles just to be shot down and sent home.

Did it matter?

No. Not really.

I leaned my head against the window and hoped I would be able to sleep, even if it was just a little bit.

***

The rail pulled into the station in Polson at 6 am. It was still dark as I made my way through the streets of my former home. The storefronts were all closed and quiet, giving it the air of a ghost town. Not much of a homecoming, I will say. The sky was clear though, and was starting to lighten a bit with the promise of dawn. Stars blinked out. The black turned indigo.

I waited at the bench on Main Street for the west-lake rail.

I had gotten a couple hours of sleep, but not enough to call myself _rested._ My suit was rumpled, my shirt untucked, and I didn't want to even think about my hair. There was no way it was less than a war zone up there. I ran a hand through it. _If only I had a mirror. _I straightened my tie and fidgeted with the jacket, trying to smooth out the wrinkles from having balled it up to use as a pillow on the way over.

The rail pulled up, empty and quiet. I was glad I didn't have to explain my sudden appearance in town to some random people on their early ride to work. It was bound to get back to my dad that way. And I was not in the mood to visit my dad.

The rail ran over the bridge. The sun started to peek up over the hills. The sudden brightness sparkled on the lake.

It wasn't long now.

How was I going to tell her this? I had so much to make up for. I wasn't sure which topic to bring up first: the fact that I was an asshat, or that I realized that I had fallen for her at some point in my life and didn't know it. Which also made me an asshat.

My general asshattiness aside, I wasn't sure how I was going to even face her without fainting. There was bound to be rage and tears, all because of me, and I wasn't sure how I was expected to respond. Or how to turn the topic towards my feelings. Or how to ask what she thought of said feelings.

Just thinking about it made my head spin.

The rail turned to the line of trees that made the forest's edge. As it wound through the patches of meadow grass that were turned to horse pastures, and past homes where neighbors were miles apart, my heart started to pound out a frantic pace in my chest. I tucked my shirt.

The sky was turning blue now, actual sky blue. There wasn't a cloud to be seen.

I stood before the rail came to a full and complete stop, and it didn't like that very much. I got two warnings before it gave up at stop 17. I half-jogged down the aisle, my hands shaking. I stepped out into the cold and took a moment to admire the picture before me. Her house was just below the crest of the hill, a cabin-style place with Newwood siding. It had a wraparound porch with a view of the lake.

I took a deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

_You can do this. _

And then I took off running for the house.

I could see Beebu at the counter through the kitchen window; she was stirring something on the stovetop. I didn't stop to knock at the front door; I knew it would be open.

I ran through the foyer to the stairs, pausing only to shout a greeting and question to Jules's mom. "Hey, Beebu," I said. "Jules in her room?"

The twins were at the breakfast table, spooning oatmeal into their mouths. "Ethan!" they shouted at the same time, and the oatmeal came back out.

"What are you doing here?" Beebu asked with a smile on her face. "Long time, no see. She's not in her room, though. She's down a—"

"Yep," I replied. I didn't need the end of that sentence; I knew where she was. "Thanks!"

I jogged around the corner to the living room, around the couch to the glass doors that led to the deck. And as I sprinted across the wood planks, the nerves built up inside me, a screaming, wrecking force I couldn't control. This was the moment; this was the time when she could tell me once and for all, "Leave me the hell alone, Ethan."

I gripped the little post at the end of the deck railing and whipped myself around to the little dirt pathway that wound downhill to the lake. I had walked this particular road so many times that my habits kicked back in. I didn't have to think as I hopped over the rock that insisted on sitting in the middle of the path just a few yards down. I paid no attention to the branches that hit my legs as I ran through the small army of shrubbery that refused to say die, no matter how many times they were cut back.

And then, as I passed around the last bend, I saw her.

My footsteps stuttered to a walk.

She was sitting on the end of the dock. Her legs dangled down to the water where her toes were tickling the surface. I could see her boots sitting to her left with a pair of bright pink socks balled up beside them.

I paused for a moment at the foot of the dock. I listened to the soft lapping noises of the water against the dock's supports.

And then I stepped onto the wood. If she didn't know I was here already, this was the moment she found out. But her head didn't turn.

When I made it down to the end, I stood just beside her. "Hey."

"Hey," she said softly. "I was wondering if this day would come. Though I thought it would be a long time from now."

"Nope."

"How was the dance?" she asked. "How's Ava?"

"Ava is…Ava is…" I looked out at the lake. "Cooler than I thought she'd be."

Jules huffed. "Right. Great. You came all this way to—"

"No, I…" I ran a hand through my hair. I was going about it all wrong. I had come all this way to what? Talk about Ava to the back of Jules's head? No.

I sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I realize that," she replied. I studied her profile, watched the little stubborn pout make an appearance. A piece of hair fell across her eyes and she took a moment to replace it, all the while staring out at the water. "I don't know how we can fix things this time."

I nodded. "I know this. And…and that's okay. I mean, it's not _okay_, really. I just understand, that's all. If it turns out that way, I mean. I would totally understand if you hated me and didn't want to talk to me ever again and—"

"Spit it out, Ethan."

"Right." I sighed. I wanted to touch her, or hold her hand, or at least turn her chin to look at me. But I didn't dare. "Here's the thing. I've been swimming in this horrible mess in my head, drowning really, in the thought that you would never talk to me again. And why should it affect me so? I mean yes, best friends, forever. But still…"

I watched a lonesome tear roll down her cheek. "That's not enough?"

"I don't know. I _can't_ know," I replied. "Because it's not all you are to me."

She blinked away the tears. The hair fell back into her eyes.

I put my hands at my sides, propping myself as she was. The edges of our palms touched. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, Jules."

She gasped – a quiet intake of air that I had no idea how to decipher. Her gaze left the horizon and fell to her feet.

"So, yeah, there's that," I said. "I said what I came to say. If you want to be rid of me now, you're welcome to tell me to go. But just know I'm here the moment you ask."

I took a second to let the thought sink in, and then I nodded, ready to leave. My heart was thrumming in my chest, but the silence was answer enough. I leaned against my hand to pull my legs back up.

And then…

And then…

Her pinky crossed over mine.

"Wait," she said, and for the first time, she looked at me directly. Her eyes sparkled with tears, the warm brown calling me home. I settled myself back down to sit again. "When? How?"

I shook my head. "I don't know. Probably always."

"And Ava?" she asked.

"Was the one who told me, actually."

"I always knew she was the smart one." She laughed. "Well, I guess this brings up a couple of problems. One: you are an ass."

I nodded. "Agreed."

"Two: I'm not sure I know how to forgive you."

I nodded again. "Of course."

"And three: how am I going to survive the rest of the school year when my boyfriend lives in Forks?"

The smile that crept across her face was a relieving thing.

Jules and I had been friends our whole lives. It was one of those relationships forged in our baby years, but it didn't really come to fruition 'til we were in the middle grades. When I was eight and a half she became the girl I would spend every day with. When the parents fought, I would head to her house. When the parents would make up, I would head to her house. She didn't seem to mind that I had cooties. And as the years rolled on, no one batted an eye at our closeness. It wasn't weird to my parents when I chose to spend my time with her rather than go out with the guys headed to Wild Horse. And her parents didn't care when she sent herself across the fields and forests to visit a boy in a distant city.

Everyone knew that Jules and I were meant to be.

Even me.

I reached up to her face. My hand brushed against her cheek, holding the precious weight. I watched her expression change from the mocking smile to something softer. Her eyes were staring into mine, anxious and waiting. We leaned closer, little clouds of breath mingling between us in the quiet cold.

And then our lips touched. There was an unexpected tingle, a jolt that ran through me as my mouth met hers. And as she leaned into the kiss, I was swallowed by the fireworks and magic of it all.

There was nothing in the world outside of me and this girl.

I was finally where I was always trying to go.

* * *

**Thanks are first deserved to Lindsey and Nae and the girls of twilight20somethings who made me write this mess. T'was it not for them, I wouldn't have done it. I love you girls.**

**Thanks next go to the betas: AZBella, for her patience and wonderful input, Bririzzle for listening to whining at all hours and still calling me perfect, and Crysross for beautiful rewrites and keeping me well stocked with pictures of Rob. This is very important, after all. **

**Thanks to the wonderful folks at the FB fan group for hanging tough with our crazy crowd. Aubree will continue to update her statusii along with GN. And maybe the other kids will play along sometimes. So stay tuned. **

**Thanks to the reviewers here on FF. Every word was read, and every word meant something to me. I promise to reply to every review for the Epilogue. **

**Thanks to all the folks who nommed Canon and/or Grace Note at the Indies. Voting starts tomorrow and I've never been more nervous in my life. If anyone wants to join in that fun: theindietwificawards[dot]com.**

**I love you all. **

**-sk**


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